How do you get your baby to sleep through the night?

So it is 4 o'freaking clock in the morning and I am so irritated I cannot go back to sleep.  I have a 21 month old that wakes up all night long and I am exhausted.  I can't remember the last time I had more than 5 hours of sleep.  I wanted to sleep soooo bad last night.  I was sooo tired after working all week and getting very little sleep and then he is wakeful all night.  I feel like smashing his head into the wall (I wouldn't do that, but I'm just so frustrated).  I have a 3 bedroom house and my older 2 kids have the other bedrooms and there is no extra room for him, so he is in our room right now.  We have tried the living room and the garage when it was warmer.  The garage worked best because we just closed the door and when he woke up we could not hear him and he eventually went back to sleep, but now he keeps the whole house up so we will bring him into bed with us and try to sooth him back to sleep, but he sleeps for 10 minutes, then cries "bobba, bobba," we give him the bottle, he goes back to sleep for 10 minutes, wakes up.... again and again till I can't go back to sleep any longer.  He won't eat hardly any food before going to bed so I know he is hungry, but how do you get a kid to eat?   He is very picky and everything we try he turns his face and shakes his head no.  Last night he ate a few blueberries, one tiny bite of yogurt and applesauce and a few handfuls of Kix with milk and maybe one bite of banana.  We put a variety of foods on his highchair tray, but he just won't eat! 

I just don't know what to do.  I am so tired I can't function during the day.  I am the breadwinner for the family and I have to be able to function.  Everything I enjoy in life is taken away because I'm too tired. 

Any suggestions? Sorry for the rambling, but that was cathartic!

My son started sleeping his nights at 4 months old, but when he hit 19-ish month he started waking up SEVERAL times a night for no good reason. The fact that your son sleeps in your room is gonna be extremely difficult. Can your two older children not share a room just for a little while? Because in my experience and from stories I have heard the only thing you can do is let him cry it out.

When he first started waking up at night I would go in there ONCE remind him it was still "dodo time" give him a kiss, settle him back in and tell him "momma see you in the morning" then close the door and no matter what not go back and within 15-30 mins he was fast asleep and as the time went on the crying got shorter and shorter. It only lasted about 3 weeks ( was a long f'n 3 weeks, but im glad we did it)

I hope whatever you decide to do works out for you guys.

I can feel your pain and frustration even though it was 25 years ago that I went throught this with my daughter.

She got her days and nights mixed up.  Slept most of the day and was up all night.

Do not let him nap after 2 pm.  This way he is tired when bedtime comes around.

You said feeding him was a problem.  He might have digestive problems.  Tummy aches can wake up anyone at any age.  Some babies get acid reflux and can't tell you that it hurts.  Sometimes getting them to sleep in his car seat can help out with that.  He would be inclined and if he has acid reflux it would help out a bit.

A fan for white noise is also good.  Maybe he is waking up from some noise or from it being to quiet in the house.  If he wakes up from it being to quiet, he might be scared that he is all alone.  A radio on low can help with this as well.

I remember spending a lot of time with my daughter and the rocking chair in the middle of the night.

Good luck and try to get some sleep for both of you.

Oh how I feel your pain. I went through this with both of my boys. If he cries for his bobba and wont eat, I would double check with the doctor also to make sure he doesn't have a sore throat or ear infection, because if so eating would be painful and sucking/swallowing his bottle would be soothing. Also, to help your child get used to regular food, I would introduce one new food a week and give it to him several times a week until he gets used to it. If he is 21 months old and has enough teeth to eat regular food, it's time to start weaning him off the bottle, at least at night. The best way to do this is to start filling it with 2 oz less than you normally do day by day. Eventually, start filling it with water. The milk in his bottle at night can rot his teeth. Granted, they're only baby teeth, but it could be painful. I second the opinion of seeing if your older children could share a room for a little while. If all else fails, let him cry it out... but for no more than 30 minutes at a time, because something could really be wrong. I hope this helps...

With the eating, let him graze more.  It was the only thing that worked with one of my daughters.  I'd literally set out a tray for her and just let her eat when she felt like it.  This way if she didn't really eat her lunch/dinner I knew she was at least getting in calories through food and not her cup only.

With bed time.  When he wakes up have a routine.  My ped said to knock it off with the bottle period and his hard approach did work for us.  It wasn't easy but it did work. 

If you can just for a little while, put him in his own room.  Letting them cry it out is hard but look at it like you're taking a time out.  When you get stressed and frustrated he picks up on that and then he gets more upset and cranky and you end up with you exhausted and frazzled.  The first time he wakes, use the routine (ours was calming down and rocking in the rocker for a few minutes)and stick to it.  If 10 minutes later he's screaming again, check on him but really quietly tell him good night and walk back out.  That way if it's a diaper thing or there is something that's causing the new wake you're right on top of it.

It'll get easier.  Hang in there!

Hi i can feel your  pain as well, not to freak you out but my son is three and still sometimes ( almost every night ) wakes up once or twice. I sometimes bring him in the bed but he doesn't usually want to he likes his own bed, he has night mares and sometimes night terrors. We tried the crying it out method but it was not for us, although it did work, my husband couldn't handle it. We got into many fights over it. i agree with taking him to the doctor to make sure he is not sick or something.

Anyway, good luck!

I would try and figure it out with the doctor.  It sounds like he's not getting the proper nutrition and perhaps this makes him uncomfortable and unable to sleep well.  Or maybe there is something else going on.  Does he have other health problems?  Ear infections, throat infections?  Anything that would cause him enough pain to wake him?

Hmm.. I am so sorry you are going through this!

some ideas..

Structure - What is the routine during the day? does he have a routine? what time is bedtime? what is the bedtime routine? feed, bath, wind down and then sleep? small children need structure and keeping to the same routine during the day and evening could really help break the cycle of waking up.

Keep a diary - I understand you work during the day, so have whomever takes care of him keep a diary of the baby's day (activities, feed times and amounts, potty, naps, etc). This will help you with the point above..

Break the bottle cycle - I know this will be hard but you have to do it for his sake and yours. I understand that one of the reasons he's asking for the bottle is that he may be hungry but it is also about feeling comfort. When he wakes up, go to him and pick him up. Try to calm him down by holding him and get him to stop crying. Once he is calm, put him back in his crib and walk out. This is the hard part. He will likely start crying again calling for you or the bottle. Follow the same routine - pick him up, calm him down, put him in the crib and walk out. Be consistent and like another poster said, do this quietly, preferably without speaking... and no more bottle.

One final thought.. it would definitely be best if he was in his own bedroom. Could the 2 older kids share a bedroom for a while until the baby gets into a good sleep routine?

Best of luck to you!

ETA: just took a look at your profile pic.. he is precious!

Recap of others posts....

Doctor first--to make sure it isn't an ear infection, acid reflux, or other ailment. If it isn't a medical issue, it has become a habit. Habits can be broken.

Put other kids in the same room (they will get over it) and baby OUT OF YOUR ROOM! When he wakes up, comfort him and make sure there isn't a problem, then walk out and DON'T go back in. It usually takes less than the 3 weeks that was stated above!

Loved v_avila's comments about structure. Agree.

Food. Kids WILL eat if they are hungry. Give the child a nutritious meal for dinner --protein, starch, vegies (he is completely able to eat normal food at this age). If he doesn't eat it, pick it up and don't feed him other food. (he will be hungry at breakfast!) Do the same thing night after night and he WILL start to eat! Don't make it a big game or a big issue or it becomes an eating disorder/power play.

Good luck!

I feel like smashing his head into the wall (I wouldn't do that, but I'm just so frustrated).

I can't believe you actually said that.

My son and I co-slept for the first 18 months and since then, he has been on his own (he will be three in May). He cried for thirty minutes the first night, and after that it was over. Sometimes he does wake up in the middle of the night and talk to himself, but he goes back to sleep. If you can't handle him in your room, follow the other's suggestions and put him in a room by himself. The others are older, they will understand.

Everyone above has pointed out all the best tips and tricks, but I think you need to calm down and take a deep breath. This isn't your first baby, I am sure that you knew there would be some sleepless nights.

Thanks for all your suggestions everyone.  Sorry about the comment kelleigh, but I feel a lot better about things today.  My mom took him last night so we got some sleep.  I did get him to eat a lot yesterday and didn't give the bottle at all.  I am going to take him to the doctor this week.  My mom made an interesting observation and thinks we should rule out sleep apnea.  He often holds his breath when he is sleeping, will startle and start breathing again. 

I like the idea of the older kids sharing for awhile.  It may be difficult because my daughter is 15 and son is 12, but they have shared before.  Maybe we just need a new house! 

That's great that your mom is stepping in to give you a hand. I'm a grandma too. My grandson who is almost 5 now had very similar problems. It was funny at when he slept here at our house or at his other grandparents he would often sleep through the night but not at home. Kids are masters at pushing their parents buttons. Grandparenthood is a lot more fun! Everyone has given you very good suggestions. My only advice is to let you know that it will pass and become a dim memory. Just hang in there. I worked nights when I was younger and took care of my kids during the day. I became a crabby zombie. But we all survived. Now I'm a happy grandparent.

I have never had a baby but i remember talking to my mom about this and she said she would put us on our stomachs. All three of us. She said that it would make us fall asleep the fastest and stay asleep.

hope this helps!

I have had the exact same experience, i have a 30 month old and a 7 month old,  when my oldest was 20 months, he stopped eating and would not go to sleep,  all he wanted to do was drink milk and juice.  Occationally I could get him to eat French fries ( yeah i know I was mortified to have to bring my kid to mCDonalds just so I knew he had eaten something!) or a chicken nugget.  He went from eating everything to nothing, almost overnight.  We put him down at 7 and he would cry until 10 0r 11, and wake back up in a hour or two.  He would only sleep if he was in our bed (which we had never done previously) or we were in bed with him.  It lasted for about 3 months, all the time my peditrician said that he was just going through a stage, but its hard to grasp until the stage is over, especially with no sleep.  I don't know why he's doing it but Just know you're not alone, and this too shall pass!  Hope it doesn't last as long as mine did!

Original Post by carolann5111:

Recap of others posts....

Doctor first--to make sure it isn't an ear infection, acid reflux, or other ailment. If it isn't a medical issue, it has become a habit. Habits can be broken.

Put other kids in the same room (they will get over it) and baby OUT OF YOUR ROOM! When he wakes up, comfort him and make sure there isn't a problem, then walk out and DON'T go back in. It usually takes less than the 3 weeks that was stated above!

Loved v_avila's comments about structure. Agree.

Food. Kids WILL eat if they are hungry. Give the child a nutritious meal for dinner --protein, starch, vegies (he is completely able to eat normal food at this age). If he doesn't eat it, pick it up and don't feed him other food. (he will be hungry at breakfast!) Do the same thing night after night and he WILL start to eat! Don't make it a big game or a big issue or it becomes an eating disorder/power play.

Good luck!

Just a thought, not all kids will eat anything if they are hungry this is not an iron clad rule, and not following this does not lead to eating disorder.  Mine won't, if its not what he wants, he holds out -- for two days, He has baffled our nutritionist(s) to the point where she gave up, we now have another one and he's about to the same point, they have now said to let him choose what he eats, at the time we decide.  Its better to have your child eat then make food a negative for him.  Forcing a child to eat what he clearly does not want, can cause him to have a negative connotation to that food for the rest of his life. Two is the picky eater age, and some kids get better as their grasp of language and congnative skills grow stronger.

I have one word for you..........ready for it.........Gripewater!

I should of bought stocks in this stuff when we had our kids! I dont know what it does to them but you give them a tsp of it and the stop crying. I think its the taste of it. They must enjoy it or maybe its the shock to their tase buds. I dont really know. I tried it once and its a very strong black licorice taste! Try it!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gripe_water

My son used to wake all the time, but he was younger than your baby.  I read The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantly.  It helped in that I corrected some things I was doing "wrong", or at least some of our routine was counter productive.  It's geared toward younger babies, but I think she's written another book geared toward older babies and toddlers.  My son seemed to have problems getting himself back to sleep if he woke during the night, especially once he was old enough to climb out of his crib.  He's in a toddler bed now, and I still have a little night time visitor show up in my room about once a week.  I think he's sleep walking half the time, and the rest of the time he wants me to cover him back up.  He can't pull the blanket back on himself?    I just remind myself that they're only little once.  He's going to be a teenager before I know it, and I won't have to go through the whole bath/bed routine, and I'm going to miss tucking my little munchkin in at night.  Even if he does get up asking for his robot or Batman at 4 in the morning.  Yeah, I'm going to miss that!

Maybe you will have to tell the other kids they have to share the burden because you NEED sleep. after all you mother will not always be able to help out. The sooner your kids realize that, they sooner they will not be upset about how misrible a mother you are to them because you are so tired. Point out you will be obliged to return the favour ( you can be guilted into it) when they have kids and need help - Helping you cope with lack of sleep is insurance for the future.  Blackmail? no just a reality check - they can realize this experience could one day help them help out a friend with similar problems . Also a lesson on how amazing what little things can earn eternal gratitude- money for expensive presents is NOT everything.

  I am living your pain.  My son is almost 8 months old and still wakes up 5 - 10 times every FREAKING night!  Ouch!  I have tried everything it seems and haven't found a solution.  I crave sleep like I used to (still actually) crave chocolate.  He can't fall asleep without me and I am at my wits end.  Good luck in your quest for sleep from a fellow sufferer!!

Sorry to hear you're suffering too mummy2liam.  It is tough being a mommy!  I keep telling myself, this too shall pass! 

Wow I thought I had the only child in the world doing this.  She has been doing this for months and she is just about to turn 2.  I don't give her a bottle anymore with milk.  I stopped giving her milk in the middle of the night a year ago.  Now she won't drink milk at all!  She wakes up in the middle of the night with either a missing binky or a nightmare! 

I have noticed after a play date (5 days a week she is with her grandmothers in their 70's) with kids her own age she plays so hard she sleeps throught the night... I can't afford daycare to get her that level of activity... oh well