Back to work or Number 2?

Hmmm.

My daughter is now 2years 9months.  I have been dreaming about babies for a while now, but been putting it off in order to find a job.  Having just completed a teaching degree I had hoped to find full time work asap.  However it has been 4 months and nothing.  So my mind starts to think, if Im at home with one anyway, maybe I should make it worth my while and have a second child.

My husband has finally come around to the idea that a second baby 'wouldnt be so bad' but would definitly prefer to wait a couple of years.

When is a good time to have another?  And at 26, am I waiting too long putting off my career? (even though i am actually trying to find work).

Any advice?

Wow...this describes me to a T. I must say, I completely relate to what you are going through...I am 27, just about finished my degree (that I have worked so hard on) and was eager to start looking to establish myself in a career.  I have had "positions" up to this point, but nothing worth saying it was an actual career.

I actually started looking UNTIL I found out I was pregnant.  My daughter is 2 years 7 months and my husband and I both entertained the idea of having a baby once I FINISHED my degree.  But like you, I started really getting the itch and thought, well, what's the point of establishing myself in a career only to leave the company shortly after I become pregnant.  Let's be honest, a pregnant woman on the job isn't viewed as equal...there's always the question of whether she will return, and so on.  I know myself, that I would not feel right taking a position, only to announce a few short months afterwards that I was pregnant (that's even if I wasn't pregnant right now).  I would want to give it a few years to establish myself and earn the employers respect and trust before I got pregnant.

So, I guess what I am saying is, do what feels right.  If you think holding off and finding a teaching position is best for you until the little one is born and you have time to spend with him/her (and there are no financial repercussions) then do so.  You could always volunteer or substitute if need be.  If you feel waiting, getting yourself into a district for two years or so, and then try, that would put your daughter about 5 years apart. 

I know everyone always tells me work will always be there...to enjoy motherhood now while we are "young."  But then, there is a pressure that I put on myself to achieve the American Dream of having a great position somewhere and I feel like I can't have my cake and eat it too...

But I guess my decision has already been made for me...I am living/happy with the fact that my children won't be too far apart, I will have my kids (and essentially get it 'out of the way') and proceed with a career (even though it is late in the game) while my kids are in school. 

HTH,

Lindsay

Hi Tani 24!

I'm almost 26 and have 2 babies at home - 2 years & 8 months.  They are the little loves of my life as I'm sure your 2 year old is.  I'm writing because now that I have my 2nd baby, I couldn't imagine life without him.  His little smile is precious and to see my 2 year old interact with her little brother is the greatest joy.  Just this morning my son was crying on the floor while i was putting a pair of shorts on him and my daughter came over with one of her toys and gave it to him!  He immediately stopped crying and I was so overjoyed to see my daughter sharing and comforting her brother (not to mention helping mommy).  It's what family is all about!

Anyways - children are our greatest gifts and if you're having an itch to have another baby then it's probably the right time for your family. 

Like what people have told Lunger - you have your whole life to work and have a career but only a short time to have babies.  PS - I've always worked full time but just recently was laid off due to the economy but I was working full time with both of my children until just recently.

Congrats Lunger!

Love,

Jla

I'm sorry I can't tell you yes or no on that one.  What is right for me may not be right for you.  However, I can tell you my experiences.

I am a 32 year old stay-at-home mom of a two year old and a five year old.  They are a little over 2.5 years apart, and at this point, they are really good playmates for each other.  They might play a bit better if they were closer in age, I don't know.  The older has been a big help all along, and now the 2 year old is helping too!  But having two kids who are so little can be really frustrating, too, at least until the older one is old enough to be able to pretty much take care of him/herself.  It is finally getting to the point where I can see the end of the tunnel as my 2 year old nears 3, but two can get into so much more mischief than one!

It seems that sometimes, when one child is several years older than another, there is a lot of responsibility put on the older child to help care for the younger.  I'm not saying that is true in all cases, but it is a tendency I have noticed.  However, that older sibling also gains a real awareness of giving to others, and seem to be very loving and kind toward other younger children.

As far as going to work, well, again, I can't answer that for you.  I waited until after I was done with my schooling to have kids.  I got a Master's degree, worked as a speech-pathologist in the schools for two years, then stopped to have my kids.  So, I'm paying student loans on an education I am not using, which is annoying.  I also will have been out of work for about 10 years by the time I go back, which I'm not sure how that will look.  I mean, there is the mandatory continuing education I have to have to keep my certification, but no real experience during this time other than raising my own children.  I often think I should have just stopped college when I got married, had a couple of kids, then went back to school when they were older.

Sometimes I think I would like to go back now, put my youngest in daycare, and have some time with adults again.  But with the cost of daycare, a working wardrobe, teaching materials, lunches, gas, etc that me working would involve, I would only actually be earning about 10K a year, and that just isn't worth it right now.  Extra money would be nice, but that's a lot of hassle for so little, and I would miss out on so much of my children's lives, so I am waiting until she's in school all day to go back.  But that is the decision for me.  Some women really need to work to feel complete, and if you are one of those, then you should consider what it would take.  

As you can tell, I'm one of those that say to do what you feel you need to do, because in the end, a happy parent is what kids really need.  There are all kinds of statistics and stories about age differences, working mothers, daycare, siblings, etc, but what really makes the difference is parents that feel good about their life.

I'm in a similar position - I am being considered for a teaching position, working on my Master's degree and my husband and I are talking about when to try for our first baby. There are a lot of details for us to consider, but one thing that I have found to be a positive element to getting pregnant soon is that if I time it right, I wouldn't HAVE the baby until after the school year ended. That's the nice thing about teaching... if I get pregnant in July/August, the baby would be born May/June and I'd have the whole summer to recover, get him used to a bottle and daycare ready before I went back to teaching in the fall.