The bad influence of friends

So my weekends seem to be continually descending into huge 2 day binges because I always go out for a meal or have a bbq with friends (and there's always plenty of alcohol involved), who ofcourse are all tiny and horrified at the thought of me losing weight!

Does anyone have similar problems and have any kind of mantra or anything I can say to myself when all this amazing food is layed out and everyone is wolfing it down glass of wine/bottle of beer in hand?

Have a gameplan....  Athletes go in for visualisation techniques, imagining themselves shooting the basketball hoop successfully or crossing the winning line first means it's statistically more likely to happen.   All you need to do is mentally rehearse how the evening is going to pan out.  

I'd strongly recommend the first thing you do is ditch the alcohol.   Booze has the multi-whammy effect of adding lots of calories and reducing willpower so once you start drinking in those situations you're as good as sunk.

Second... don't tell your friends what you're doing if they're so childish as to be 'horrified' at an overweight person wanting to be slimmer.   You can explain away no booze with excuses like you're on a course of antibiotics, you've given up alcohol for religious reasons, you're driving home afterwards, you don't want any ... no-one should force you to drink.   Sip a glass of slimline tonic all evening with ice and most people will assume it's got gin in it anyway.  And when it comes to food you can choose healthier options without making a fuss.  Eat really slowly and chat lots and then no-one sees how much you're eating.  Practice saying 'no thank-you, I've had enough' with a smile and meaning it.  It's more assertive and less open to question than 'I'd love some but I'm on a diet'....

Of course, you have to want to be slimmer more than you want to wolf down food and booze with the herd....  But give yourself a fighting chance with a gameplan.

Well If it's arranged in smorgasbord style, get small samples of some things, sit down, talk whilst eating, then go help yourself to more. This adds a bit more activity, lets you savour the food for longer and makes you eat slower feeling fuller for longer. An of course, fill up on lots of salads (without dressing) and veges!

As for a mantra, I usually use the 'it's not everyday I do this...' or I make a deal with myself that I will do a certain amount of exercise later. On that note, I find that for the first 1-2hours after a short medium-hard cardio session (I'm talking a 15min hilly run), I don't FEEL hungry at all! I can still eat without feeling sick and such, and can properly eat a small-medium proportioned meal minus nasty hunger pangs for several hours after!

It really comes down to what works for you, but if its a BBQ bring along your own healthy dishes too!

Thanks for the advice guys! I like the visualisations idea and talking and moving loads so people (and me!) aren't focusing on what I'm actually eating.

Gi-Jane I know the alcohols not good for me but I'm an easily persuaded student, what can I say? lol. I'm better now than I have been - don't drink during the weeks naymore even if I go out but like I say it's just the weekends that are a killer!

Thanks again both of you some really good advice there

No problem! :)

I have to say I agree with Gi-Jane, yet with the amount of peer pressure I also understand. Maybe opt for the lighter-carb choices? And like you've already successfully done, cut back little by little.

Best wishes!

Go have fun on the weekends! Keep a strict diet during the week and then, Saturday and Sunday, go have fun! You can splurge a little if your diet is very tight during the week. But who wants to be worrying about food and weight while everyone else is having a blast. Weekends are for fun not for exercising your self control and thinking about your diet! I say go out have fun - make reasonable food decisions like no regular soda, I usually avoid cookies and sweet things because they are all sugar and won't fill you up(and regular food is a little healthier and will actually fill you up), try to avoid sugar filled drinks and aim for drinks that pack a little more punch!

Now I'm sure this isn't the advice you were expecting but it's advice you might prefer - to be able to go out and still have a blast, worry free, and diet during the week to keep your diet up.

Original Post by justindigiulio:

Go have fun on the weekends! Keep a strict diet during the week and then, Saturday and Sunday, go have fun! You can splurge a little if your diet is very tight during the week. But who wants to be worrying about food and weight while everyone else is having a blast. Weekends are for fun not for exercising your self control and thinking about your diet! I say go out have fun - make reasonable food decisions like no regular soda, I usually avoid cookies and sweet things because they are all sugar and won't fill you up(and regular food is a little healthier and will actually fill you up), try to avoid sugar filled drinks and aim for drinks that pack a little more punch!

Now I'm sure this isn't the advice you were expecting but it's advice you might prefer - to be able to go out and still have a blast, worry free, and diet during the week to keep your diet up.

 What he said

I work out extra hard on Saturday and Sunday so that if some socializing occurs I am not feeling bad about it.  I also eat a good breakfast.  I don't want to start feeling bad about food...no thanks!  I also opt for white liquor with diet coke, diet sprite or tonic water with a lemon.  Or a light beer.  No mixed drinks. I can sip on one/two drink all night and still have fun.  And I use portion control when I fix my plate or share my meal with someone else.

Also you might need to find new freinds...not sure if I could be around people who are "horrified" that I am trying to increase my longevity...

You cannot allow yourself to sink into this.  This is a lifelong change that you have to make.  Take this into account...to lose one pound of fat you have to burn or minus 500 calories per day//3500 a week - just to looe one pound!!!  Alcohol is not good for you at all....it is worse than a can of coke.  It has high calorie contents and high carbs in most of it.  Its like the hidden stuff you eat.  ALSO - a lot of people think that having "Free weekends" is the way to go.  Its okay to have a "Free meal" or so but don't binge.  If you do it every weekend then what are you fighting for all week.  Those 2 days make a difference - I promise.  Eat good all day and "sample" the things you want to at the BBQ but don't binge - it does affect the weight.  And if you can't let go of the alcohol, then your probably not ready to lose the weight.  Good luck in your endeavor and be strong - the payoff is much worth it.   

Original Post by ktg72:

Gi-Jane I know the alcohols not good for me but I'm an easily persuaded student, what can I say? lol.

 I used to be a similarly easily persuaded student and ended up aged 23 as a big fat lush.....  wondering what the heck happened to my figure.  Spent a lot of the next 20 years trying to undo the damage and break all the bad habits.  Trust me, there's very little 'lol' about it.

I work out 20 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes at night. I also eat approx. 1200 cals. each day. I stick with this plan and "Reward" myself on the weekends. I never fell guilty about eating certain foods on Saturday or Sundays. This plan has worked out great for me. I have lost over 30 pounds in about 8 weeks. I will not lie; I can't wait for the weekends to come. Once Monday arrives it's back to the plan. My dietitian tells me that if I incorporate certains foods that comsuming 1200 calories is fine. The initial concern was muscle lose which can happen if you stay away from proteins. I eat Chicken, Peanut butter and Fish. This seems to help keep the muscle mass in tact.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you don't have to stay away from what you love. There will always be temptations that lurk around you. If your consistant with your weekly plan, it's OK to enjoy those weekend BBQ's. Just remember, stick to the plan and don't drink any caloried beverages during the week.

This may not be right for everyone, but has worked out well for me. Good Luck!!!

The one important thing about alcohol is that it slows down your metabolism, thus reducing your body's ability to lose weight.  I work out at least 1-1/2 hrs per day for 5-6 days a week.  I also try to eat lightly during the week so if something comes up on the weekend it kind of balances itself out, but I still practice portion control.  After all of this time involved in looking good, that is my incentive on the weekends.  Everytime I see food, I have to analyze everything!!!  Sounds like a lot of work but it is worth it in the long fun.  I also have a friend who constantly is on me about being too thin, but because of a family history of diabetes and cardiovascular disease, I tell her that I keep my weight down & exercise to help ward off or prolong these evils.  If she does not understand that, then she is truly not a friend.  I constantly have to remind her of this and I feel it is part jealously on her behalf.  She cannot stand when someone compliments me on my build, and I just smile and graciously accept the compliment because I am constantly working at it.  It is truly a life-time change. 

I have the same problem on weekends.. and I too eat perfect during the week and workout but then comes Friday. But now I have decided to pick a day and have that as my relaxion day.. and I switched over to Mich Ultra (73 calories) So I'm going to stick to my guns on this one and hope for the best when I get on the scale on Mondays. I went crazy this past weekend and gained a pound. It's so not worth working your butt off all 5 days to ruin it in 2.. it's so unfair. So we will see, but I feel your pain

ktg72 -

Another idea is to eat properly at home before you go out, then you won't be so hungry when you are around all that food.  Then you can just enjoy what really appeals to you, or what you don't get to eat on a daily basis. 

Lynn aka mrsmci

Somewhere I read an article about the differences in how overweight people vs. healthy weight people live their lives.  Healthy people tend to focus social get togethers around an activity or event. Those of us with weight issues tend to focus a get together around the food. Once I started watching myself I notice that even if an event if not about the food, I make it that. LOL!

So, rather than focus on "not eating" or "not drinking" first think about what you are going to this event for. is it to visit with friends? Could you do that without the food around in another setting? If you decide that you want to go to this event then how are you going to keep yourself busy so you aren't hanging around the food?

If we are going to make permanent changes to our lives just counting on will power or won't power needs some help.

I understand about the drinking around friends bit.  Glad to hear you're limiting your "during the week" imbibing.  I know this advice is old as the hills, but it usually works for me.  Drink lots of water, and eat an apple or other healthy snack right before going.  The beverage I like to take and share is Crystal light raspberry (or your favorite) lemonade, diet tonic, and vodka.  Lots of beverage and a little buzz... a lot of bang for your buck.  Oh, and skip the Sunday partying... use it as your detoxing, getting a great start on the week day.

I have found that mixing diet soft drink with a  flavored wine(Arbor Mist..) is a delicious and low-calorie option when drinking at bbq's and such, and it mnakes the alcohol content less, so you don't get slammed by 2 pm....lol)!  Also, just take a little bit of the fattier things and biggers portions of the veggies, salad etc.  This strategy works well for me, hope it'll help you too!

Original Post by dldaisy99:

You cannot allow yourself to sink into this.  This is a lifelong change that you have to make.  Take this into account...to lose one pound of fat you have to burn or minus 500 calories per day//3500 a week - just to looe one pound!!!  Alcohol is not good for you at all....it is worse than a can of coke.  It has high calorie contents and high carbs in most of it.  Its like the hidden stuff you eat.  ALSO - a lot of people think that having "Free weekends" is the way to go.  Its okay to have a "Free meal" or so but don't binge.  If you do it every weekend then what are you fighting for all week.  Those 2 days make a difference - I promise.  Eat good all day and "sample" the things you want to at the BBQ but don't binge - it does affect the weight.  And if you can't let go of the alcohol, then your probably not ready to lose the weight.  Good luck in your endeavor and be strong - the payoff is much worth it.   

 Seriously?  If this is a life long change, It does not mean we all have to be monks and forgo alcohol forever.  Everything is moderation..... is a life-style and a healthy way to live.  Just because she likes to drink a little on the weekends(she is a college student for crying out loud_)  doesn't mean she's "not ready to loose the weight".  Give her a little slack.  ANY action is better than none at all!

Original Post by ktg72:

So my weekends seem to be continually descending into huge 2 day binges because I always go out for a meal or have a bbq with friends (and there's always plenty of alcohol involved), who ofcourse are all tiny and horrified at the thought of me losing weight!

Does anyone have similar problems and have any kind of mantra or anything I can say to myself when all this amazing food is layed out and everyone is wolfing it down glass of wine/bottle of beer in hand?

Always have a drink in your hand (they don't have to know it's only water or diet soda)

Chat while you eat..fill your plate with mostly salad, fruit, and small portions of the other stuff. Take your time and eat it slowly while talking..makes them think you're eating as much as they are.

Little fibs are okay too "Oh, I ate before coming here" or.."My stomach is a little queasy today"

Of course it's nicer to just say you're watching your weight and have them stop pestering you, but that's not always the world we live in, is it?

I go ahead and have a bit of whatever anyone else is eating..I just watch the portions and try to have mostly salad and fruit. I'll go ahead and have 1 glass of wine, or 1 beer..won't kill me. But mostly, diet soda, water..anything that lets me 'drink' at the same pace without expanding my behind.

Even on my looser days, I won't have more than maybe 2-3 drinks tops..but I think that's enough, I mean..more than that and I might dance on a table or barf in the car.

I totally agree with raychelc. Always have a drink in your hand..... I was having the same problem and discovered that if I keep a drink in hand an sip on it slow, I don't have the need to binge. Also I eat before I leave the house that helps me not wanting to eat junk as long as I keep my drink in hand. Fruits and veggies is a great option too. Good luck.

While I realize that my solution may not always be feasible, or recommended as you're not relying on yourself, I get a friend of mine to restrain me. I can restrain myself perfectly until it gets to the dessert table, where I can go a little nuts (I'm a sugar addict and a baker) - so I get a friend to slap me upside the head when I'm loading on the fifth slice of cake =D Usually works, until said friend is also munching in the cookies, and then everything backfires xD