Bad Manners! When did they become the norm?

I am far from being any kind of angel and in my lifetime so far I have done many things that I wish I hadn't, some of which still make me cringe to this day, but never in all that time have I forgotten my manners!

Not even when I had a foot high mutli-coloured Mohican, wore studs, and black makeup, lived in a squat in London, the look of me and my then friends may have scared the living day lights out of some people, and we could have been at fault for a lot of things we did, but never for being Ill mannered.

The one that irks me more than the rest is "Ignoring" people when they speak to you! I don't care if you don't like the person in any or all ways there is just no excuse for point blank rudeness, to offer them a response will cost you nothing but an intake of breath, this kind of what now seems to be acceptable behaviour just makes you look like an ill mannered sole who has had a very poor upbringing.

The other that gets on my nerves is just blatant outspoken opinionated rudeness! fine if your opinion has been asked for, then it should always be an honest one otherwise you are not being true to yourself or the other person, but sometimes opinions should just be kept to yourself! 

You know people are well aware of themselves they really don't need anyone else to point it out to them and everyone else around about their weight, over/under, the size of their nose, ears, feet, how their bum wobbles, that they have a handicap etc...................

Just because you wear Prada, Gucci etc and the person next to you is wearing walmart, asda or tesco's doesn't mean they are beneath you in anyway shape or form, the clothes don't make the person.

Manners cost nothing and it's not acceptable to forget them, I don't care if you have PMS, your wife wouldn't put out last night or any of all the other lame excuses.

This world can trample you into the dirt and leave you bare but if you have manners then you always stand tall!!

Ok I'm done now 

I totally agree! and don't get me going on rude, ill mannered children!

Original Post by andie-joe:

The one that irks me more than the rest is "Ignoring" people when they speak to you! I don't care if you don't like the person in any or all ways there is just no excuse for point blank rudeness, to offer them a response will cost you nothing but an intake of breath, this kind of what now seems to be acceptable behaviour just makes you look like an ill mannered sole who has had a very poor upbringing.

my husband does this to me all the time and I hate it. It's lucky for him that I have a short temper and an even shorter memory.

*stand up and cheers* I completely agree with everything you've said!

It's interesting that although people complain about the manners of young people today, some of the most astonishingly rude and tactless comments I've experienced have come from older relatives, friends and colleagues. It's as if they feel they can say anything they like to me on the basis that I'm younger than them.  

I don't think you're being either realistic or fair here, Andie.

So I can't "ignore" you (that is NOT answer), but I also can't say anything rude?

We don't all always have the capacity to say things with tact and grace. We all have bad days and off times or just things we can't discuss with any sort of tact or grace. To expect otherwise is, I think, to be unfair. Truth be told, given a choice between ignoring you and being rude, I'll ignore you in a second.

Also, you do realize whilst ranting about others judging other people (the Prada/Gucci thing), you're judging those who don't conform to your standards, right?

I work at a school and the children in the lunch room ( most of them) act like they are animals. They have food all over the place when I bring a broom and make they sweep it up they look at me like I've lost my mind. some dont' even use silverware and have it all over their faces and hair and this is Kindergarten to 5th grade some that I have had since kindergarten are now in 2- 3rd grade and have not improved.  we had one girl that someone throw up and we thought it was on her. She looked so bad took her to nurse and found out that was just from her eating lunch. I have children back talk me all day and when I say you are being disrespectful they roll their eyes (oh no you didn't).  I am trying to see if we can add a class somewhere in the day about manners.  You think society is bad now just wait acouple years.  But as we all no these children learned it from their parents. I was a store trying to buy some reading glasses when a couple came up I moved over some so they could look and got nudged completely out of the way - I stood there looking at them until they were done since I couldn't believe they were this rude and unaware- it never fazed them they never notice me or what they did. I wait until they were done and continued - this has happend to me so many time that I'm sorry to say their actions have had a snowball effect on me I will now not think twice about not moving for someone again and will let them  on know uncertain terms  no they have cut me off or out   to make it in this society I am becoming like them.  Okay I'm done ranting for now.

I agree even the nicest of us have bad days when we snap at people or say the wrong thing, but a few people I've encountered don't seem to aspire to having any manners at all. I noticed it particularly when I worked in a shop, just the breathtaking level of hostility and unprovoked rudeness of some customers. I guess it's best to have a thick skin and not let it bother you, but it just makes everyone's day less pleasant.

well, that is what i love about a true English girl or bloke - lovely polite manners! 

{{{andie-joe}}}

i don't know when it became acceptable to be rude - it seems to have occurred sometime in the past 20 years

and i don't know the cause, other than some fuzzy explanation about poor parenting or increasing isolation and less effective socialization

but the way i look at it - i no longer expect good manners (from people i don't know) but am delighted when i find them

i do still expect politeness from people i know - i think these expectations are met more often than not because of the quality of the people i choose to associate with

hope you feel better now that you've gotten that off your chest!

I have to say that I agree with everything that you said and feel the same kind of rants all the time. 

I used to live in a flat below a horrid family, the 5 year old terrorised any visitors to any of the flats, shouting, swearing, hitting them, when told off by the people that he abused the parents were quick to jump in with the "don't you dare shout at my f***ing child!" attitude.

I was spat at several times by 16ish year old when I sat opposite her on a bus because my ass was taking up the seat that she wanted to put her feet on.

I always wonder what the parents think of their children that behave this way.  I don't want to blame the parents and the upbringing but I also don't want to think that there is a possibility of my future children turning out like that despite how I bring them up.

Original Post by andie-joe:

The one that irks me more than the rest is "Ignoring" people when they speak to you!

Okay, I totally agree with most of your rant, but I thought I'd offer another perspective on the above comment.  When someone doesn't respond to you, you might want to consider that there might be a legitimate reason.  In a store, I was, totally unconsciously, in someone's way of getting at something.  At the very time that they said "excuse me" there were two other children in the aisle, one crying their head off, and the other cackling loudly - and don't get me started on the Christmas music playing at way too high volume in the background.  I honestly didn't hear the woman, and after only one unheard "excuse me", she proceeded to treat me like the Wicked Witch of the West.

Oh, and I've ranted about this before so I won't go into it in detail - but there are sometimes mitigating factors in a child's behavior that have nothing to do with them being rude, a brat, or their upbringing.

The need for courtesy, understanding, and patience goes both ways.  Just sayin'...

The trait I find least endearing at the moment is swearing in public....  I usually have my eight-year-old with me and it's really not what I want him to hear.  OK people swear in pubs and other adult places but I particularly object to having to listen to people walking towards me in the street chatting amicably to each other but peppering their conversation with some seriously nasty profanities.  I actually stopped a couple of twenty-something men  the other day and asked if they'd mind cleaning it up a little... To their credit they apologised.  Obviously it's just part of their everyday speech and they're not even conscious they're 'f'in' doing it. 

And the other one that I would cheerfully serve life for are people that yell down mobile phones as if the person on the other end is completely deaf.  Personal stuff that you don't want to hear.  Thoroughly invasive.  Standing in a queue in a shop the other week a man behind me suddenly started a conversation at TOP DECIBEL!!!  Right in my ear.   I jumped about a foot in the air.   "YEAH!!! I'LL MAKE SURE I PICK UP THE PAINT!!! WHAT????! THE WALLPAPER TOO?!".... When I asked that man to tone it down a bit I did get a string of abuse.  Charming.

Whether you call it rudeness or just plain inconsideration that there may be anyone else on the planet besides yourself.... awful

That's my two-penn'orth...

that reminds me, Jane...people who answer their phones in the cinema, or just talk loudly to each other throughout the film. This seems to happen so often, and it's not always kids either.

The man in the DIY shop was no kid.     Yes, mobile phones bring with them a whole stack of opportunities to be a social cretin.  Another one I particularly hate is when you're having a conversation with someone, their phone rings or a text message comes in and what you were talking about is now suddenly so boring or unimportant that they drop you like a hot potato and start chatting or texting back the other person.  That's even happened to me in a shop.....  I just put down my purchases and left.

Or.... hold me back folks.... when someone's on the precious mobile and they want to tell  you something but instead of asking the person at the other end to hold a second and speak to you properly they start waving their hands around, miming about cups of tea or some such drivel.   It's so pathetic.

...or people who make all their work calls during rush hour on the train. I once sat next to a man who made numerous calls during the journey, all starting with a very loud 'Hello, this is Chris from the Inspection Unit.'  I got so sick of hearing it, I could have slapped him (but I'm polite ;)

Hear, hear, Andie.  I could have written this post myself (except my slang would have been different.  Mohican = Mohawk, I'm guessing!)  :)

the words i miss hearing the most are: "please," "may i," and "thank you."

I have an employee that says "may I" instead of "can I".  He's probably the first person I've heard say that in YEARS.

I can't stand it when people don't hold doors open for you.  They just walk right in, and let it slam it in your face.

On the flip side, I ALWAYS hold doors for people, and say thank you when people hold them for me.   I also still think men should open the door for me, but a rare few do these days.

Original Post by kaffwynn:

I also still think men should open the door for me, but a rare few do these days.

 Do you not expect the same from women?  Just curious.

Look at where society in general is heading. Yea I think it's becoming the norm. Makes me long for times past.

Original Post by garyad:

 Makes me long for times past.

 Which times?

Original Post by santonacci:

 Do you not expect the same from women?  Just curious.

 Nope, I'm sexist.