bad role models

so im recovering from anorexia and trying to get back to a healthy weight but i find some people in the media so annoying they seem in have it all and seem able to maintain low bmi s and live there lifes fine is there anyone who you find triggering or not very helpful

for me its

victoria beckham how the hell she has managed to have kids i dont know

paris hilton

lyndsey logan

most of girls aloud seem to have gone skinny including cheryl cole

tess daly

on the other hand i find holly wilibure, louise redknapp really good role models

I don't find people in the media a problem but I think that's because I can't square them away as 'real people' but more as 'illustrations' or 'images'.  Walking round a gallery recently I was looking at some 19th Century paintings.  You know the type of thing.... rotund smooth-skinned Venuses, big chaps in powdered wigs and ugly-looking cherubs playing on harps.  And the people in mags and movies - to me at least - are as far from real life as those paintings. 

what makes us special and beautiful is our individuality at work im known as curly sue brown who broke her stilletos lol it has nothing to do with beauty or body image its these so called socialites who have subjected beauty to makeup and liposuction; goodluck Tessa on your journey and i congratulate you on noticing and becoming discouraged by the hollywood scenario,  like you said they are bad role models on the other hand i find Kate Winslett an outstanding role model as well as Tyra Banks & Cindy Crawford.

It can be pretty hard to ignore the media sometimes, celebs get praised one week for losing weight and then the next they are slated by the same magazine for looking to big. I just dont buy magazines like that anymore, Im fed up of reading about Cheryl Coles latest fad diet.

They may been able to maintain a low bmi and carry on with life but that doesnt mean all is fine. They probably have to work very hard at exercise or restricting their diet just to do that and deep down they maybe are miserable for all you know.

Its good though that your looking at more positive people to be a role model, Im a huge wrestling fan so I usually end up looking at the female wrestlers and thinking if I had to pick someone to be like it would be them, they have such strong bodies and most certainly are not matchsticks.

Celebrities and people in the media can maintain low BMI’S because they have much more help then normal people.


They have a lot of money - and also the nutritionist trainers and etc to tell them exactly what to eat and etc.

Maintaining a low weight is miserable for some people -  having a lot of money, like those people in the media, can make it bearable….

If they are hungry and if their cognitive ability is affected by their low weights, than it does not matter, because most of them get to do the exact work that they want - they do not NEED to force themselves to do draining mental work, such as studying.

Trust me, they would soon notice that their low weighs would hinder their abilities to study or do other challenging things.

Basically - having an easier life that is less demanding, along with the funds to access the best information and professionals, means that maintaining low BMI’S  is much easier for these celebrities.


Look at some one like Lindsey or Victoria Beckham;  they can easily just walk around all day doing what they want (even if they do work, it is still on their own terms, they do not NEED the money as much as normal people)

For most people - maintaining a low weight would be miserable - therefore, it is easier to just walk around and “ keep busy” all day, like many celebrities do, because it distracts them enough to not eat, but does not require enough effort to NEED the extra weight ( in order to think clearly and etc)

For me it is not famous people as I think they live in a whole other world so to speak. I do have family members that around food and weight are not healthy role models. I have a family of ed's. Not just my mom but my grandfather,his sister,his mom, etc. No joke and all to different extremes my mom being the worst ed wise. I guess for me I try to think of people who have a full life that means lots of friends,job,social,hobbies. That appearance and focusing on that so much pushed out those things that truly fufill.

Tessa can you try to think of good role models but more in day to day life?

Being in the public eye all the time must be very stressful.  The actors are under so much pressure to look perfect all the time.  It's not a healthy or normal way to live.  I, personally, would never choose that kind of life.

The media is nasty. I can't believe they have nothing better to report on than an actor going out in public without makeup or having cellulite or gaining a little weight.  It's awful that they put so much importance on a person's appearance - IMO it's really shallow.

Tessa,  most of the celebrities you mention are NOT healthy, and their lifestyle is not sustainable.  Lindsay Lohan uses drugs to stay skinny and is also mentally ill.  That's probably partially true of Paris Hilton as well. 

If you find yourself starting to envy their bodies, remember that you really don't want their lives!

Actors and pretty much anyone else (especially women) have to measure them selves by a different standard. It sucks but it is the job, when an actress wants to land a role of sexy seductress the casting director looks for a woman that has that "fantasy" look, meanwhile the average woman is I believe a size 10-16 or something like that.  I'm trying to break into the acting industry and I was just told I need to have a size 24-26 inch waist, and I don't think I've ever had a waist that small even at my goal weight I think I was around 28-29. All these pre judgements are made before I even get to audition and actually show off my talent, freakin industry.

Anyway I said all that to say this, don't measure yourself by industry standards because they are ridiculous lol. Try not to allow your self to be triggered by these people, remember you are a real female with a real life and try to live it to the fullest.

Unfortunately, I would estimate that 50% of celebs maintain their "low" weights unhealthily--using fad diets, ED, over-exercising or simply by maintaining an unhealthy mindset about their bodies.

The other half has the money to maintain their looks by utilizing professional trainers, dieticians, make-up artists, hair-stylists, not to mention the behind-the-scenes: airbrushing done by magazines, and even people training them exactly how to stand to most flatter their body (check out red carpets--many celebs always stand the same way, every time).

And then the rare person who is "naturally thin." I say rare--I think they are much less common place than people think but they still exist, yes.

I'm sorry, but I'd rather have a life, family, friends, relaxation and yes, the occasional heaping bowl of ice cream than that.

Unfortunately the media saturates every aspect of our lives. Not only are the pictures geared toward skinny women, the words are altered, even subtly, to make being "skinny" more appealing and "fat" less so. Advertisers have specific words that they stick to and sometimes are even given certain words that must be included in the ad. The depressing news is that sex sells, and free publicity, negative or positive, sells even better than that.

I once read an article about a guy and a girl who are both healthy eaters who never struggled with weight who moved in together for a month to go on a gain-a-thon, basically just to study what happens to them and what people think. The hate-mail, directed mostly at the girl, was appalling. She received much, much more hate-mail than the guy did, and it was more derogatory as well. She was still well within her BMI! That's how much the media brainwashes us about women.

I guess the best thing to do is ignore the worst of it, and check sources on everything--statistics, news, even gossip columns are distorted frequently to show you the side they want you to see. No news is 100% objective (un-biased). Sorry, that was my little rant. I agree with you, it is so very frustrating and we are certainly not as aware of it as we should be. I hope your recovery goes well!! Don't base your life on a doctored-up picture.

If media models are interfereing with your recovery it is time to unplug. Just until you can get past this stage in recovery. Turn off the tv, stop buying the magazines and don't go see a movie. If you know seeing the unrealistic bodies of actresses is a trigger for you, do things where you don't have to see them.

Not sure where you live- but I find that a lot of the women in the news media have healthy, realistic, beautiful bodies.  However, when I browse the tabloids and fashion mags, it is upsetting to see some of the women you mentioned.  What upsets me the most, is the pregnant celebrities.  They seem to gain extreme amounts of weight when they are pregnant and then lose it all in record time.  I think I read that Kate Hudson gained 80 pounds while pregnant!  First, its extremely unhealthy to gain that much weight during pregnancy and as someone who struggled to gain weight during pregnancy- it is not easy even with a low weight gain to get back to your pre-pregnancy state!  Another celeb who reportedly gained a lot of weight was Tori Spelling- now she is emaciated!

Bottom line, you can never be happy if you compare youself to anyone.  There is always someone thinner, prettier, richer, more sucessful, etc.!!  Easier said then done- I know!

I know this is hard Helen.. They seem to be perfect in every way. But honestly, they're not. They're bound to have some problems that they don't open up to. Especially those who try to maintain dangerously low BMIs. Think about this, would you rather live a miserable life being extremely skinny, or live a happy and fulfilling life being at a normal weight and enjoying food? I would definitely choose the latter of the two.

I personally don't find any celebrity to be particularly triggering. They just seem so fake and unreal to me. Like they're made of wax or something lol.

thanks for your support guys xx

I don't buy mags, I don't want to waste my money to read that someone is fat one minute then skinny the next, they get slagged for being supposedly fat then slagged for being thin.

its so sad really!

i must admit though, how the hell did Victoria Beckham manage to have kids like that?

As for Victoria Beckham and other celebrity mothers, they do the following: remove themselves from the public eye, go off the starvation diet and seek fertility treatments. Once successfully impregnated, they flaunt the baby bump and eat, eat, eat. Then post-partum they have surgery and attest to their grueling workout schedule being responsible for their miraculous pre-baby weight return in only 2 months.

I prefer Liv Tyler's real-life observations that it took her a year to return to pre-baby weight and she feels somewhat dissatisfied with some sagging even now.

And while it is hard to feel pity for celebrities, their lives are not a pleasant arc:

1) Get famous and be hungry all the time (which is what Gwen Stefani admitted to on her first solo tour). Possibly develop addictions to all manner of heavy-duty stimulants to dull the hunger pain.

2) Get older (if not O.D.'d already) and have foreign objects and dangerous chemicals injected and implanted everywhere to get that strange plastic/plumped up look. Develop addiction to prescription pain medication taken originally during recovery from various cosmetic surgeries.

3) Retire (if not O.D.'d already) and suffer all the consequences of the abuse to your body: osteoporosis, inflammatory diseases, immunlogical disorders...

In the end a celebrity better hope they have pots of money because they need it for the all the medical care throughout their lives and especially if they make it into old age.

Supermodels:

gisele

miranda kerr

jessica stam

lily donaldson

julia stegner

natasha poly

models like:

http://schlicken.blogsome.com/images/skinnymo del.jpg

those girls who designers use to flaunt their clothes on the catwalk and advertisements whome we are suppose to look like when wearing their clothes.

It makes me so angry!

Calm down guys. *sigh*

At the end of the day, “ thinness” is simply another physical feature that is considered attractive.


Perfect weight straight teeth are an attractive physical attribute. So is nice skin. So is thick, healthy hair.

Thus, being “ thin”   or having a delicate “ ethereal” body type is simply another physical attribute that is viewed as attractive.


And it is PHYSICAL: those attributes are purely superficial of course!

Sure. Having a toned, very thin body can look attractive. But that body will not compensate for pimples, awful skin, and etc…….    a normal weight women with perfect teeth, hair, and other physical features can look far more physical attractive than  a very skinny women with a perfect body, but otherwise lacking in other nice physical features.