Really really bad times.

To sum it all up, I've been feeling pretty abandoned lately.

A very important person in my life, sort of my second mother, has left. As a result, I've been so alone recently. My parents work full time, my brothers are away at school, and there is not a single friend I could bring myself to talk to about this. I've been trying really hard to lose weight, but I just keep gaining. I go to the gym all the time, but I can't help my eating. My grades have been dropping dramatically. I know it's really lame of me to ask people I don't know for help, but I'm just too ashamed to talk to anyone I know about it. Honestly, I can't seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel here. I was 140 lbs at New Years, and even though I go to the gym and count and everything, I'm at 144 right now.

Please, tips, pointers, anything. 

A little more info on exactly what you are eating and what your workout routine might help to get some more specific advice on your situation.   It's hard to say exactly why you aren't losing any weight when you don't know what's going on in any detail.    No sense in throwing darts at the wall and hoping one sticks right?

It's a tough battle sometimes losing weight and keeping your spirits up.  I find it helps sometimes to focus on the little victories, like lifting and extra 5 lbs or running that mile at an extra .1 or .2 mph.   Focus on the method and the results will come in time.  Just be patient and don't expect things to change over night.  You didn't get to your current weight overnight so it won't come off that quickly either. 

Send along that info and I for one will see if I can help.

Do you think you may be eating to fill the "hole" left by the people who are leaving you?  I know all about this and trust me, the food never fills the hole.  See if there is a school psychologist or counselor you can talk to.  I wish I did when I was young.  Now I'm 37 with the same problems and I don't have time or money to go to counseling.  Good luck sweetie!

Original Post by ldm1403:

To sum it all up, I've been feeling pretty abandoned lately.

A very important person in my life, sort of my second mother, has left. As a result, I've been so alone recently. My parents work full time, my brothers are away at school, and there is not a single friend I could bring myself to talk to about this. I've been trying really hard to lose weight, but I just keep gaining. I go to the gym all the time, but I can't help my eating. My grades have been dropping dramatically. I know it's really lame of me to ask people I don't know for help, but I'm just too ashamed to talk to anyone I know about it. Honestly, I can't seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel here. I was 140 lbs at New Years, and even though I go to the gym and count and everything, I'm at 144 right now.

Please, tips, pointers, anything. 

I'm sorry to hear you are unhappy and lonely.  You should not beat yourself up over the feelings you are having though!  Everyone is ENTITLED to their own feelings so you should not feel "ashamed" of anything for a single second.  When I was without family and friend close by in a new city I had moved to, I really began focusing on MYSELF 100%.  I took my diet and exercise to the max to make myself feel better and to keep my mind occupied.  I wouldn't let myself become discouraged because I always kept the "big picture" in mind.  I also treated myself when I could.  I would go see a movie from time to time or pursue my hobby.  Just getting myself out there and focusing on me felt good.  I had no distractions.  Soon enough, I was meeting new people and my body was feeling and looking better than ever before.

There is light at the end of the tunnel.  There always is.  Please don't give up because of numbers on a scale.  I don't even own a scale.  I just do what I know is "right" and KNOW that my body will react accordingly.  Best of luck to you and keep your chin up.  You are responsible for your feelings and you can change this funk you are in by immersing yourself in things that are good for you.

I'm really sorry that you feel so bad. My best advice is to try to regain your life, like fill the void with friends, maybe you don't have to spill these feelings, but don't isolate yourself as well. If you associate food with these feeling it can lead you down a path that you do want to go down. Stay strong.

Being loney sucks, especially when it feels like nothing can be done about it. I'll pass along some things that have helped me during those times:

- Write about it - get some paper and just write down what you are feeling and thinking. Tear it up, burn it, or keep to read later - does not matter, just write about it.

- Make a list of what you are grateful for, and read it every day for 10 days

- Do something, anything, to help someone else. They don't even have to know it was you...

- For losing weight, ask for help in the form of accountability. For me it was hireing a personal trainer at my gym. Even though I'm paying for someone to care, it has really helped knowing that each week I need to go in and show my food, exercise, and weight log (from here of course). I am also motivated to perform better each time, and show them that I'm making progress.

- Greving a loss is hard, and not easy to get over right away. I always make things worse for myself when I start beating myself up during those times. Take your time, and give yourself credit for wanting to do something about it (like this post).

- Like life, weight control is a journey and has many ups and downs. Do what you can today to treat yourself well. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not here yet, so just focus on one thing you can do today, now.

- Hang in there - you'll be surprised how many people care, even if they don't know you.

the only thing i can say is try adn keep yourself busy. get involved in activites that you like. hopefully it will help you get back on track