Barbecue dilemma

Okay, so I'm a new vegetarian (about 4 months) and I haven't told any of my coworkers.  I'm 26 and a teacher and the other teachers I work with are all in their 50s and very "mom-ish" with me.  If I told them, they would NEVER let it go.  It would be the reason every time I got sick and they would want to talk about it a lot.  I'm a pretty private person and judging by the way it went when I told my husband's family (badly), I'm just not in the mood for full disclosure. 

So anyway, my problem is this:  There is an end of year BBQ and one of the teacher's houses and she already told us that the menu is chicken, pork and potatoes.  She said that we could bring a side dish or dessert if we want.  I plan on bringing two side dishes (a bean salad and a regular salad with some fruit on it).  I want to try to avoid the question at all, but as previously stated, I know the "mom" in them will ask me why I am not eating the "main" dish.  What do I say to avoid it?  Do I lie and say that I at a late lunch or that I'm not in the mood?  Do I say that I don't want any, which is true?  Should I just tell them?  Ugh, I just don't want to deal with all the stupid questions and hassles when all I want to do is enjoy and end-of-the-year party.  Any thoughts would help... I'm from Ohio and don't know any other vegetarians.  These message boards have been awesome for me. 

tell the truth.  then tell them you're an adult and perfectly capable of taking care of yourself.

I agree... tell them you are making some adjustments to your lifestyle which include being a vegetarian.  Question? do you eat seafood at all?  my niece doesn't eat beef, chicken or pork, but will eat seafood.  if so, maybe take a salad with crab meat or shrimp so that it is both a "side dish" and an entree for you.  Let them know that you are looking at a healthier lifestyle for yourself and seeing if a vegetarian lifestyle is for you.  I am not a vegetarian, but i understand that there are many benefits to a vegan lifestyle as well as the whole colon cleasing issues.  I have head that our bodies were really never meant to eat the amount of meat that we do.  i don't think there is anything wrong with cutting back on heavy meats.  Or just tell them that you are cutting back on eating meat.  Good luck.

tell the truth i would say. I have been a full vegetarian now for 5 years. I was 16 when i stopped eating white meat(chicken and turkey) and seafood. I stopped eating pork and red meat when i was 12. When i finally gave up  meat all together i didn't tell my mom right away. I would lie at dinner or make sure i was out with friends or at work around dinner time so she wouldn't ask why i wouldn't eat the meat. I finally told her a year later. She was disappointed that i lied, but was understanding of me being a vegetarian, which she doesn't really support but it's not her life or her choice it's mine, and same with yours. so what they give you crap for a few weeks, they will move on to something else eventually lol. maybe bring a tofu or meat substitute dish with you and see if they like it and say "see being a vegetarian isn't that bad now is it?" lol good luck!

When I had to go to a BBQ and I knew beef burgers were the only option, I brought veggie burgers and it was no big deal. I'm not a vegetarian though... I just hate the idea/taste of full fat ground beef burgers.

Ok you could make up some story about getting food poisoning so you're staying away from meat for a while...

i would  say it casually that you don't eat meat anymore and that you are very content, satisfied, full, eating the side dishes.  if she presses it further then that, ask her (without being defensive or accusatory) why it's such a big deal to her what you choose to eat, and that you'd rather avoid blowing the issue out of proportion because the most important thing is that you both are there, and enjoying each other's company.

if for some insane reason, she keeps insisting you eat meat, then politely point out that you could start giving her plenty of reasons, health and ecological, why she SHOULDNT be eating meat but you respect her choices/lifestyle and you'd like the same.

I think you should just tell them. Just make sure you do it in a gentle way so that you don't worry or offend them. If they bug you about it, explain your reasonings calmly. And then there's that ever annoying, "where do you get your protein" question. Heck, bring a piece of seitan "chicken" to BBQ, or pack a veggie burger! And yeah, the salads sound like a good idea too, but just because you're vegetarian doesn't mean you should be left without an entree.

My vote is for making up some "white lie" and going with that.  The folks who advocate telling the truth underestimate people's ability to hound others for whom they care but with whose habits and lifestyles they are uncomfortable.  You and they will have a better time if you just say, "I love BBQ but I've had a bit of a sour stomach lately."

haha I think most vegetarians/vegans catch **** from people about not eating meat. There's no point in lying. My family thought I was stupid for not eating meat but never forced it on me. They did, however, constantly question me. If I hadn't of told them, they would've figured it out anyway.

Well lets see I would tell them you are trying to be healthier actually you should be proud of your choice they are the odd balls it is becoming more and more common now also.  I suggest you bring your own veggie burgers or morningstar farms makes a pretty good veggie dog on a bun with the fixins it is great !!! Be proud of yourself you are eating healthy how do you know maybe some of them are thinking of becoming vegetarians too and just do not want to say anything .  Your salads sounds great I have not had meat in over 6-7 years I do eat fish occassionally though.  I wish I could
come with you I would tell them to move over I have some veggie burgers to grill !\\!!

Have fun

 

Audrey

 

Well, I thought I'd let you all know that this turned out to be a non-issue.  The food was all lined up and I had my plate full of sides and not one person said a thing.  I was worried and overreacting for nothing.  I do think, though, that in the future if someone asks, I just need to be truthful.  I have to accept that I made this choice and people are going to have issues with it, but it is a good choice for me.  Easier said than done I guess.  Thanks for all the replies!