how do you beat the binge/restrict cycle

Hello everyone,

1)thankyou for just being generally supportive to everyone. Hearing your anecdotes makes my attempts at weight gain a little easier.

2)how do you beat the binge/restrict cycles....

ahem - i should probab;y fill you in on some stuff:

a fortnight a go, my doctor told me that, despite me only being 3.6kg away from my target weight, if I didn't average a lb per week weight gain until our next meetin (22nd July) he'd put me back into the inpatient unit. This si why I'm so determined to gain weight. However, the determination comes in waves. So, one day I'll be thinking - 'yeah, gain weight quick, life will have less hassle, you'll finally be allowed to be fit and an excercise freak!' - and I'll eat loads, even when I'm not friggin' hungry, but never exceeding 3000. The next day, I'll freak out that - 'I'm a fat pig and will gain all my weight at once and it will all be fat and anyway I'm meant to have control over food and the onky people that eat like that are compulsive overeaters and fat slobs' - and so may only eat a thousand for the next 2 days. Then I think - 'hell, what am I doing I'm meant to be gaining weight!!!' and the whole process starts all over again.

I'm sure this is playing havoc with my metabolism, but it's also making me feel really crap about myself, and defintitely not improving my regards to myself. I'm meant to be on a meal plan, and my mum's meant to do all my food, but somehow i manage to be the one manipulating my calories, deciding whether they're up/down/roundabout. On average, over about 4 days, I have 1730 - but that has been 2000 one day, 1000 the next, 2350 the next and 1600 the one after that!

This is not healthy, for my body or my mentality. Can people help give me a meal plan revamp (I'm a vegan, so foods/also times/amounts etc) - my dietician would be welcome to change as long as we discuss them, and advice as to what I can do about it, because it's really getting me down and making me not trust myself and scared about a time when I don't need to gain weight that I'll slowly eat my way to obesity, which is funny seeing as a year and a half ago I was on a naso-gastric tube. It makes me more ashamed about eating then I already am.

How do you listen to your body?

Thanks

Sorry it's so long

I'm just so scared

i dont have any advice but i feel the same way on the mental games of IM ALL ABOUT recovery today and the next day im like eww i feel huge blah blah no way, and i am currently exercise restricted and need to gain 1.5-2 a week, im like "all about it" then all.... not about it at the same time i hate the emotions and games my head plays with me!

sorry i cant offer any help just rantin along with you!

yeah, same here...I get so paranoid especially in the morning and I count the calories in everything that I eat.   I just worry that I will consume too much in the morning and start gaining weight too rapidly and end up eating wayyy to much by the time the day ends. This is unrealistic though because at night I get into panic mode and realize ive only eaten 1000 calories or so and I start binging and by that point im just eating to eat and am not hungry at all.  I hate that I do that because I really want to gain, but I know I should be spreading my calories out more evenly throughout the day.  I've been much better about it the last few days and hopefully I can improve.  Anyways, to get to the point, I am right there with you, so if anyone has advice I would be extremely greatful as well.

i do the same thing grr! i always get to like 1000 and then im grazing all night indecsive or what i want till i go to bed cuz im just DONE with eatting. i wish i cwas better at spreading out through the day ideally so after dinner im done for the night unless i actually want something else!

This is probably the most ruthless cycle to purge yourself from...so to speak...

I would suggest mini meals throughout the day. Not SO little that at 5pm you are sitting at a grand total of 600kcal for the day and are STARVING. I'm talking like 300kcal snacks 3 times per day and 500 kcal meals 3 times per day.

i'll share what worked for me (although, i'm on the other end of the weight challenge - i struggle with binging and... just binging!)

however, i believe the psychological side of things is similar in any addiction (i've conquered alcoholism, and some other addictions as well)

what worked wonders for me was mindfulness meditation... the therapist i worked with trained under jon kabat-zinn at the stress reduction clinic, and it is an amazing coping tool... probably because it isn't just about coping, eventually it becomes a solution to the very core issues

the basics of mindfulness are to simply watch thoughts as they appear in the mind, and watch them move on - without judgement or attachment... it's sounds simple, and it is... but very difficult to practice

notice i said PRACTICE! for me, it took a while to sink in that it was something to keep coming back to, keep working at, and that there was no 'end', no 'cure', no 'solution', just witnessing whatever is

if you are interested in this practice i strongly suggest finding a therapist who is trained and who has done his/her own psychological work... someone who has been there/done that can relate in a way no one else can... and someone who walks their walk (practices mindfulness meditation and mindfullness in all areas of their life) is a true guide

also, jon kabat zinn has a great book called Whever You Go, There You Are and he's featured on oprah.com's soul series this week

there is also an AMAZING book by Cheri Huber called There Is Nothing Wrong With You (there is also a version for teens)... this book helped me tremendously when it came to judging myself

metta :)

Obviously this advice will not solve all your problems, but anytime you are thinking  anything like " oh quick I'll just do ______" ( fill in the blank with whatever: gain weight, binge, throw up, etc) that is a sign you are going off track. 

So the next time you think, oh I'll just hurry and do _________.  Just stop.  Sit down and ask your self, " I am off track.  What made me do this.? What feelings do I have that made me want to rush into a bad idea? Who did I see?  What did they say to lead me to this palce where I feel that I am not ok."

Ok- you may have heard that before, but it is a GREAT habit to get into.