my best friend calls me fat...

OK, so, I'm 19 years old, 106 pounds, and 5'0 tall. My heaviest was 130.. now my best friend would always call me fat when i was at this weight, so as you can see, i lost the weight. She now still calls me fat and asks me how much i weigh everyday. i tell her 106. and she says i need to lose 6 to be 100 pounds and even then i'll be on the larger end of my ideal weight..

why is she saying this? whats wrong with her? i mean, i don't think shes jealous or anything, shes 5'3 and 120.. so she is very healthy as well.

help!

Honey, that girl is no friend...

there are a number of reasons for her to say such stupid things. Please pay no attention. She may just enjoy your reaction when she says something so totally and obviously untrue.

I suggest that you expand your field of friends.

Wow i totally see what you mean.  i have a friend who is always making fun of me for counting calories and being healthy. If she did that she'd stop critizing me...

and shes no friend ...much less your best friend , she must be jealous because you probbaly look better than her ! and you may be prettier than her =D

That just sounds so mean...I would have freaked if my best friend had told me that. 

Weight is just a number - it's how you look and feel about yourself that counts.  A best friend outght to care about that.

I'd tell her to stop.  It's mean and hurtful.  Perhaps at 19 she doesn't quite grasp that this is inappropriate.  If she continues ask her why she is doing this.  You may need to cut this person out of your life.

At 130 you were not fat.  At 106 you are a lovely weight for your height and weight.

One of my best friends calls me "unapologetically curvy"...it's true. 

With ffriends liek that who needs enemies?


When i was younger if a friend called me fat i would of prolly busted them in there mouth now they just wouldnt be my friend.


Its none of there buisness what you weigh and thats what you should tell them.


Could allso say you can fix fat but they will never fix ugly lol

That is so rude to say. Especially for someone who is supposed to be your best friend. No real friend would dare say that, especially at your size (which is awesome!! You rock!!). She obviously has her own issues with her weight and size. Even though she is also a good weight, she probably has deep seeded self esteem issues, which is why she is taking it out on you. If I were you, I would tell her to stop, tell her that you are at a perfect healthy weight and regardless, it is none of her business. She needs to know that is she doesn't stop, you will have to end your friendship. You don't deserve to have such a destructive, abusive best friend. DONT BELIEVE HER!!!!

She's not your friend, let alone a best friend... cut her off because she's toxic

yeahh you guys are right.. but is the whole "fat end of the ideal weight" thing true? like if i lose the 6 pounds, will it be unhealthy? i donno, since i've known her she made me feel disgusting!!

i haven't done anything to her to deserve thatt!! and when i ask her about it, she said that shes just concerned about my health!

You're 106 pounds! Even at 5'0" that's tiny! There's no need for you to get down to 100.

Your friend is either jealous, or just mean spirited.
That's no way to treat a friend.

You shouldn't be friends with someone who consciously tries to make you feel fat, and makes you feel disgusting. She is mean and not a friend at all. 

You are very slim; don't feel pressured to lose weight by this person. 

Your friend is crazy! I wish I could be at that weight, that is a low weight even at 5'. I wouldn't be too worried about what your "friend" says. She is not a friend if she calls you fat.

Original Post by adriannapagno:

....since i've known her she made me feel disgusting!!

How long have you known her? If she's made you feel disgusting all this time, why in the world are you still friends with her, let alone call her your "best friend"?

Please seriously consider cutting this person out of your life. Now, let's look at the facts:

Your BMI is 20.7, her BMI is 21.3. Technically she is heavier, though both of you are on the lower side of the healthy range. If she were your height, she'd weigh 109lbs. Maybe she should lose 9lbs before she starts criticizing you.

judging by weight and height alone she's fatter than you are. next time she says anything just tell her that, then ask "if im fat then what does that make you?"

Don't mind  those people honey! When I was 155lbs all my office collegues called me fat, even my uni friends too. Now I'm 132lbs and looking pretty slim (Still have big legs), But they never say that I've gone down. They still call me fat and never compliment. They are just jealous. I of course make it reason to motivate my self. 

jealousy is what it is all about. this person has such a bad self image that she has to make you feel bad to make herself feel better. you don't need people like this around you.  you shouldn't put up with it. confront her and her ask her why she feels the constant need to bring up weight and belittle you. real friends don't do this. I worry about the young folks nowadays, not that I am that old, but I see so many young people that are so focused on looks, money popularity being the "it" person. these people are always chasing the dream, never enjoying life because it is never enough.  they feel they have to pick apart other people to make themselves look better.  confront her, see what she says. Maybe she will say she didn't realize what she was doing. If she keeps it up, then lose her. life is too short.  I am glad I realized that a long time ago.  made my life alot happier......... good luck to you.

Everyone on this thread has been very supportive and granted you many valuable insights. Bottom line is - you're at a perfect weight for your height (hey, you're at the lower end and could gain if you wanted to), and you certainly do not need to lose. If you were to lose 6 pounds you would arrive at a BMI of 19.5. The cut off point for the healthy range is 18.5 - and this is aimed at those with very petite bone structures.

There could be many reasons why your friend is making these comments. But the bottom line is, they're making you feel bad and any friend should not be doing this, particularly not deliberately. Have you told her that you find these comments offensive? She obviously wields a lot of control over you, due to the fact she was the catalyst to your initial weight loss. She no doubt realises just how much 'power' she has - and is evidently using that to its full capacity. You, adrianna, need to take the power back. You need to let her know that she will not be making decisions for you about your suitable weight, or anything else for that matter - and you need to be firm. It's your life, it's your body, and your 'friend' needs to learn how to respect the boundaries that you evidently need to create.

Original Post by adriannapagno:

OK, so, I'm 19 years old, 106 pounds, and 5'0 tall. My heaviest was 130.. now my best friend would always call me fat when i was at this weight, so as you can see, i lost the weight. She now still calls me fat and asks me how much i weigh everyday. i tell her 106. and she says i need to lose 6 to be 100 pounds and even then i'll be on the larger end of my ideal weight..

why is she saying this? whats wrong with her? i mean, i don't think shes jealous or anything, shes 5'3 and 120.. so she is very healthy as well.

help!

 That does not sound like a best friend. It sounds like she is jealous of you. What do you say when she says things like this to you? Most people who take about other people or point out their problems are jealous and have low self esteem and hurting others makes them feel better about themselves. These people cannot see that they have problems/issues of their own. They should be focusing on that instead of someone else. I would re-evaluate the friendship. Tell her that these things hurt your feelings and if she continues to say hurtful things you will not continue to hang out with her. I am willing to bet she does not have a lot of friends. You are a beautiful girl don't let her comments bother you.

Original Post by littleshellys:

 

 That does not sound like a best friend. It sounds like she is jealous of you. What do you say when she says things like this to you? Most people who take about other people or point out their problems are jealous and have low self esteem and hurting others makes them feel better about themselves. These people cannot see that they have problems/issues of their own. They should be focusing on that instead of someone else. I would re-evaluate the friendship. Tell her that these things hurt your feelings and if she continues to say hurtful things you will not continue to hang out with her. I am willing to bet she does not have a lot of friends. You are a beautiful girl don't let her comments bother you.

x1000000. Its jealousy, through and through.