Does it ever get better...

Hi. I'm currently recovering from anorexia nervosa for the second time. The first time I went through it was several years ago so I don't remember much. I'm just so sick of feeling bloated and huge all the time. I want my eyes to see what everyone else sees so I can try to get better. I want this weight to start redistributing evenly. Sometimes I just feel like giving up, but I know how many people I would hurt by doing that. My mom cries all the time, and it doesn't help that my dad yells at her all the time for not being harder on me adn force feeding me like he does. I want to get better, but I don't. I'm scared to get better. I feel like if I let go of my disorder I'm letting go of part of myself and I'll let myself get out of control and get fat. Tell me, does it ever get better? Will that "voice" that makes people with anorexia feel guilty ever go away?

I've never had anorexia, but my sister did and I've always had very warped ideas about food and weight. I think I can tell you, without any reservation, that it WILL get better, but only if you stay focused on getting better. Will the "guilty" voice go away? Probably not. Ever.

Sorry, but American women are socially conditioned to have strange views on weight, food, bodies, etc. It's just part of who we are. It would take extreme counter-conditioning measures to completely rid you of the "guilty" voice. But you CAN lower the volume on that voice.

Just stay focused. There are obviously people who care deeply about you and your recovery. They only want what's best for you. There are no ulterior motives, trust me. Take it one day at a time, and get some help if you can afford it.

Thanks for your advice. I'm already in a program. That's the problem between my parents. My progress is tracked so if I don't gain a week I'm with my mom (parents are divorced), my dad takes it out on her... As if I didn't have enough guilty feelings.

I have recovered from anorexia and I still have the old voices in my head that like me to stay slim - to recover you have to accept that it will not be easy and that your fears and problems will not go away , you just have to learn to do the right thing despite the bad feelings.

Please do this for yourself, and whenever you hear the irrational thoughts of the anorexia telling you to not eat or etc, TELL that voice to “ shut up, because I deserve to be happy and healthy”

Your parents may not know how to deal with it in the way that is best for you, but it sounds like they care about you and are doing their best.

You have NOTHING to feel guilty about, you are doing THE RIGHT thing and should be PROUD you have decided to fight the disorder.

Here's a really incredible website someone showed me that has tons of phrases that I keep repeating to myself to keep making progress.  Go down to the table titled "Counter-Attacking Anorexia's Voices."  The ones I keep repeating are that I know other ways to cope and find comfort, and my view of my body is distorted.

http://members.tripod.com/~MarciaD/beliefs3.h tml

Keep fighting and stay strong! :)

Thank you, all of you.

Original Post by mars_0112:

.....if I don't gain a week I'm with my mom (parents are divorced), my dad takes it out on her...

Try to get mum and dad together and explain how this makes you feel.  When people are frightened, frustrated, upset and don't know what to do for the best they can react in ways that don't help.   Unless you tell them, they won't realise it's having an effect on you.   At the same time, you need to make a big effort to reassure them both that you're trying your very best to gain weight and recover ... and actions speak louder than words.  Good luck

Go and seek help again to your psychiatrist. While seeking help to other professionals, you should also help your self getting frustrated of what you feel. Have your self weigh daily as much as it concerned. Try also other tips from this link if it works outhttp://www.solutionbay.org/problems/anorexia- nervosa

your post is 6mths out of touch!!