Better on the outside, but what about on the inside
How do I change the inside of me? How to I become more approachable? My habits are still of the "insecure" girl even though I'm not.
If I go out to a social gathering i have a hard time meeting people and usually stand alone and get shy. Any tips? I'm going into my second year of college and I'm in a sorority and I stay away from fraternity parties because the good looking outgoing guys still indimidate me because I fee like i'm back in highschool and they are all thinking 'yea right"
any tips?
fake it 'til you make it!
seriously, social behaviour is made up of habits, just like anything else. how did you change your eating and exercise habits? you just did it. it was hard and awkward at first, but the more you do it, the more natural it becomes.
i hope that doesn't sound trite or like an oversimplification. it's really not. i was a very (VERY) shy kid, and when i was 13 i made a conscious decision to change that. by the time i was 16, you couldn't shut me up ;)
congratulations - and have fun!!
all about body language, i wouldn't approach a girl who is sitting down, or standing in a corner sipping a drink, make sure you dont hold your glass too high it looks like your hiding behind it. basically be outgoing maybe dance a little, even if it is in your corner you just to look as if your having a good time. its easier to say this than do it cause im the same you wont ever catch me dancing.
I second what pg said. I was incredibly shy and had some social anxiety issues through high school and university. Then I packed up and moved to South Korea by myself to go teach English. I knew no one when I came here. It forced me to become outgoing because if not, I would've sat in my apartment alone and depressed. I've met loads of people since I've been here. While sometimes I still feel uncomfortable no one else notices. Even my super outgoing friends have told me there's no way they could move to a new country alone where they knew no one.
You just have to force yourself. After a few weeks, it'll be easy.
When hanging out with people, I try to imagine what an outgoing person would do in such situation and try to act such way - but it's really difficult. /sigh =/ but i suppose I will keep on doing that. I feel so awkward all the time.
lemonjellos strategy seems very clever!
You can't completely change who you are, I am an introvert always have been always will be. I will always prefer being in a group of 4 or 5 more than at a large party. That being said you have to step out of your comfort zone to meet new people.
I used to tell myself "tonight I am going to make one friend, tonight I am going to talk to the people around me." Sometimes it worked sometimes it didn't. My husband was the friend I made on one of those nights so I am definitely glad I pushed myself out of my comfort zone once in a while.
I always also appreciated having a close friend with me on those nights to help me feel more comfortable. Is there somebody you can talk with about how you feel that can help you feel more comfortable and break the ice for you?
Fake it till you make it is right. And one way to practice is get a sales job where you HAVE to talk to people - and your work practically tells you what to say. That lets you get better and better at small talk with strangers. BTW, make sure you quit after a month, sales jobs suck. Also, frat parties are horrible, I think they're the last thing that'll make you feel less insecure, but if you're at any other parties, sometimes it's easier to talk to girls first - approach someone and go "I love your sweater, where did you get it?" or whatever to start a conversiation.
stop thinking people are thinking about what you're thinking
in fact, they probably have very few thoughts in the first place.
as you worry about this and that, that person worries too. everyone worries.
its knowing that you're the only one conscious what of what you're in secure about.
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