bf keeps saying i m fat.. i m so done with it

i have had lots of ups and downs with said bf but he is the one who keeps coming back. I am like 5'2 145 pounds and yea have gained the last 5 pounds over few months. He has suddenly become a health fanatic, he takes no sugar and is completely not into any sugary stuff and has started running in marathons. He keeps telling me he is scared for my health and has a serious issue with it and a lot of mean stuff along with it. I seriously dont know why i take so much crap from him. I m a vegetarian, always try to eat right and do workout. I m equally frustrated with my weight situation but I have just decided to follow what i can do. I know i should dump him, maybe i m just scared coz I turn 30 next year and am still single and went to my 24 year old cousins wedding couple of days back :(((

Dump that loser.  He isn't worth your time.  I am 5'1" and 146 lbs and if my fiance ever said that crap to me....well, I guess he wouldnt be my fiance then.

Is he actually calling you fat, or just trying to get you to join in on his latest craze?  Sometimes people get really into things and try and push them on everyone else without realising that's what they're doing.  If that's the case, point out that he's making you feel bad and should stop.  If he's just being a jerk, dump him stat.

If you've told him time and time again that his comments aren't appreciated and he keeps nit-picking then take a break up with him. He doesn't listen and is more concerned with what He thinks, not what you know.

If you haven't told him that is nagging is really bummin you out then you need to ASAP! Like susiecue said, he might just be caught up in what he's into and doesn't think about his words/actions with others. People aren't mind readers.

Try and not to feel like you have to put up with stupid behavior because of some "clock" thing! I hate the person who came up with that and want to "poke them in the eye with a hot french fry"  Foamy the Squirrel

 

Never, ever stay with someone who makes you feel like less of a person.

When I met my husband, I was about 220 lbs.  He never once called me fat, and in fact tells me I'm the most beautiful woman in the world.

There's a difference between trying to get someone you care about to be healthier and making them feel bad about themselves.  Considering you said, "He keeps telling me he is scared for my health and has a serious issue with it and a lot of mean stuff along with it," I'd say he's doing the latter.

 

You can and will meet someone else, perhaps much more supportive :)

Thanks for your replies everyone, i do kinda know where to go its just that I was hoping things will get better with time, they are only messing up more. Well I have told him quite a few times to back off and be less of a meanie and he always comes back with i m misunderstanding and not addressing the "issue". I mean seriously its not that I have some major disease or addiction just a belly.

anways I have decided biological clock or not I m taking a break from him if it becomes a break up then so be it. I need to be around positive people who encourage me rather than find faults.

My mom always tells me, what bothers you about someone now will bother you just as much, and probably a lot more, in 10 years. He won't just change his abusive behavior if he hasn't changed after you've already talked to him about it. If you can't see yourself living happily with him calling you fat for the next 10 years, move on.

Wow, he seems like a jerk. I was in a similar situation. My ex boyfriend used to always comment on my weight and say that I looked 2 months pregnant! He was so into fitness, went to the gym all the time, and drank his protein shakes. He was obsessed with showing off his shaved chest and six pack. lol But he would always comment on how he thought I should improve my looks and it started to get really annoying hearing the same stuff over and over again. At one point, I just hated eating in front of him because I was paranoided that he would say something rude.

Luckily, we aren't together anymore and I'm so much better off because I don't have someone negative bringing me down. But anyways, I'm sure there is a great guy out there that would appreciate you and not be critical about your appearance. I would toss him if he keeps it up. I know it's tough to find someone out there. It just takes time to find someone, but trust me there is someone! =) And if you want to work out and eat healthy, do it for you, not for him.

Don't stay with him just cause you feel like time is ticking - every second you are with him is time lost.  Dump him and move on to someone who deserves you and appreciates you.

Explain to him that you are doing your best to get to a heathy weight and that it is going to take time. Also point out that making hurtful comments arent going to help you and if he continues to do that that you are going to have to distance yourself from him.

Maybe show him calorie count and your food journal so that he can see youre doing something proactive-that is if pointing out your food choices and daily activities arent enough for him.

I can see where he may be trying to "help" you join his new lifestyle, but he's clearly going about it in a jerkface way.  If he knows that what his doing/saying about your weight is hurting you and making you feel bad and he isn't making an effort to be positive and supportive, then f him.  You deserve someone who loves you and wants you to be HAPPY and healthy, not just thinner.

I don't think that you need to justify or prove your efforts to him, if he isn't unconditionally supportive of whatever you're doing, this isn't someone you want to spend any more time with.  I don't think you need to show him that you're counting cals or anything, if he's paying any attention, he should already know that you are concerned about your health.  Screw him.

On a totally different side:  My husband definitely points out if I have gained a few and I do the same.  For both of us, its motivating for the other to go "I know you're being lazy, I am too, let's do something about it"....but that's really just how our relationship is, I'm not justifying your boyfriend's behaviour.

dump him. forget about it and find someone better

no offense, this guy sounds like a loser.... you don't need someone that is going to put you down!!! You need someone that is going to love everything about you, and i personally do not think you are "fat"... it doesn't matter what age you are, you don't want to be miserable for the rest of your life!! Find someone that will appreciate everything about you! And believe me there are people out there that will- my fiancee has loved me no matter what my weight was at.... even when i was 40 lbs heavier than i am now and 10 lbs less than i am now!

best of luck to you!!

Personally it sounds like your guy is somewhat self concious. That's probably why he became a health nut all of a sudden he was unhappy with himself so did this....Now he is doing something about it, but to take away from his own insecurities he's putting you down.

He may be trying to help you, but if you talked to him about how he is making you feel and he is still doing it..well then sweetie, I would say drop him. There is a such thing as verbal abuse and it can be just as damaging as psychical to ones self esteem.

I know it may seem scary to leave someone unsure of the future...but honestly you deserve better then this. Find someone who is going to love you for you and yes definitely surround yourself around positive people who do just that, love you for you. Good Luck. :)

ahahaha I'm trying to picture what would happen to my husband if he called me fat. He'd be prying his teeth out of the wall.

The longer you stay with him, the less time you have to meet someone completely awesome.  Not the biological clock, just the time that you spend being with him or being hurt over the stupid things he says.

Original Post by spirochete:

ahahaha I'm trying to picture what would happen to my husband if he called me fat. He'd be prying his teeth out of the wall.

hee hee hee 

One reason my ex is an ex. 

Original Post by spirochete:

ahahaha I'm trying to picture what would happen to my husband if he called me fat. He'd be prying his teeth out of the wall.

 Lmao. You go girl. ;)

:)

5'2 and 142 is not Fat.  Look for your approval in the mirror, not in some a##wholes word.  Women need to do things  for themselves. Not depend on a man for their self worth.    My husband has never ever said a word about my weight and Lord knows he should have,  Find someone who loves you for you.  Good Luck sweetie.