A Big Girl no more...what I won't miss. Have any to share?

Consider this a cleansing ritual, like a smudging.

I would like to list the myriad of secret and not-so-secret pains and humiliations of being a Big Girl that I will be so happy to see the end of. Some are things I have suffered with for years and never told anyone about because it's too embarassing. I have no idea if anyone has experienced some or all of these - or maybe you have your own you'd like to share. I just kinda want to get them off my chest - free myself, as it were - and one by one watch them fall away.

1. Thigh chaffing. Definately deserves first mention. Years and years of wearing bike shorts under skirts to prevent this, even sleeping in them...I want to wear a dress with nothing underneath!

2. Not being able to fly out of worry that I won't fit in the seat. And when I finally got the courage to fly, always worrying about people's reactions when they see they have to sit next to me. And having to ask for a seatbelt extender...god I will be happy to not have to do that ever again

3. Going to a restaurant or other public place where the seats are too small, and having to cram my ass into one and sit painfully for however long

4. Always wondering when I meet someone new if they are thinking "gosh she's fat" instead of being interested in me as a person

5. Having just TWO (plus size) stores to shop at because all the other stores in town only carry hamster sizes.

6. Having really thin skin in the creases under my belly and between my crotch and thigh - so thin that even slight aggravation, from rubbing or sweating, will cause it to break and bleed or weep - summer is such a joy

7. Skin abcesses in sensitive areas. I am reeeeally hoping these will end once I am smaller!

8. Scarring from above abcesses, stretch marks, and other weird skin things due to overstretched skin. Probly stuck with these forever.

9. Huffing ang puffing from activity that my smaller friends/sisters/coworkers can do easily, like climbing stairs. Climbing stairs in general! Gosh I hate stairs!! I actually get angry inside at whoever I am with - I think to myself, you'd be huffing and puffing too if you were carrying an extra 100 lbs!

10. Rude comments. Teenage boys especially terrify me...they are mean and I am WAY too sensitive. I will be so happy to not feel scared of what someone might say anymore. Or be humiliated in front of whoever I am with by some mean stranger's comments.

11. Not being able to ride a roller coaster - the safety bar might not fit so I just avoid the whole issue and tell people I don't like them. I want to ride a roller coaster!

12. Fear of falling. The bigger they are, the harder they fall, is true. So I worry I will break something all the time.

13. Having to struggle through turnstyles. SO cruel.

14. Getting into someone else's car and worrying the seatbelt won't fit - half the time they don't - it's a humiliating little gamble! The last time this happened I was in the back seat with a nine year old girl who kept asking me, loudly, why I wasn't buckling my seatbelt. Apparently holding it across my chest was not fooling HER.

15. Eating in public and knowing people are watching to see what I eat. God forbid I ever splurge and eat an eclair in public - the one time I did that I got such a look of disgust from one woman, I wanted to shrivel up and die. I wish I didn't care what other people think, but you'd have to have a pretty tough skin to not let that get to you

16. Getting (another) mug as a souvenir when my parents come back from holiday while my sisters get cute tops from local stores

17. Feeling crappy when people go on and on about how GOOD I look when I've lost a little weight - because I can't help but think they thought I looked bad before - and knowing that, chances are, I will regain the lost weight and look "bad" again. I want to be free of this and other worries, and know that I am on the road to good health, and just enjoy the compliment!

Well that's about all I can think of right now, though I am sure there are more. It's good to air them.

 

Thank you Jupufo

Oh!  I just thought of another one....

All my life, especially growing up, my family would tell me "You're so smart...BUT" and "You've got such a pretty face, BUT"...and the "but" was "If only uou weren't so overweight."  So, all my life I was taught that I wasn't good enough just because of my weight and this was by my own family.  As a result, I never learned how to accept rejection and always saw myself as not good enough. 

I can remember being a young girl, probably 6th or 7th grade and coming home from school crying because I had been tormented so badly by the other kids and my mother asking me what I did to them to make them do that to me, because of course, I had to have done something to them.

Really messes with you head.

What a fantastic website haven't read it all yet.  Can relate to every single one of your humiliations Victoria.  Here's a few more, sorry if I've repeated any.

Not being able to take the kids swimming because I'm too embarrassed!

My children not being able to wrap their arms around me properly to give me a hug!

My personal worst, my 14 year old son complaining that there wasn't any photographs of me, his next question, 'what if something happens to you?'  Looking at his face and seeing he realised my weight was a big problem and that was what he was referring to.

I am 315 lbs and I just started with cc this week and I think everyone is fantastic for supporting each other and very brave for sharing.  For the first time in my life I can taste success - Im ready to be thin! Good luck to you all.

 

I reached a milestone today.  I don't think I listed this as something I wouldn't miss, but I should have.  I haven't been able to take off my rings for about 9 years.  Today, I did.  I was so happy I was shrieking and bouncing up and down.

Weight when I got my wedding ring: 117.  Highest weight: 205.  Current weight, 156 and counting (down to 125.)

Well I won't miss the occasional looks from other women (usually teenagers) when out with the boyf you can tell they are thinking "why is he with her" and it's not just paranoia as my sister agrees with me after seeing it ... he of course is completely oblivious :0)

Also won't miss when clothes shopping taking the clothes off the hangar before taking to the till so the shop assistant won't see the size!

Ha! I don't miss hearing my parents describe us to other people, waxing poetic about my beautiful sisters, then saying, "And Erin, well, she's the husky one."

Now my sisters are heavy and I'm the skinny one ( and I have never once described them as "husky" to anyone).

Good thread.

I have lupus and see a number of doctors regularly. I really want them to say, hey, you look great, good job! This is my number one goal. I saw a medical record recently and one of the docs described me as morbidly obese, and when I read it I almost died from humiliation!! :(

Also, I don't want to be invisible anymore to men. I'm newly single and not able to attract anyone, it seems. :(

 

This thread is great

Only discovered this site today while trying to work out my BMI, biggest fear for me is looking older than my mum because I am so overweight.  I'm 46 and have reached 180 pounds

My husband has actually pointed out that theres about 40 pounds of me he's not legally married to!

hmm, quite blunt, but maybe this is ok:)

Original Post by pepperminty:

 

Also, I don't want to be invisible anymore to men. 

 

just a little warning, the shift in interest could maybe scare you at first:) maybe not, i am just thinking that because it has happened to me - suddenly men ogle me, and i am not exactly comfortable with that yet:)))

Must say, I love this post! I know I'm little behind but I just found it. Here is my #1 compliant/ thing I will definitely NOT miss:

First of all, I am 22 and have a 20 year old brother and 16 year old sister. Both of whom are GORGEOUS and built like "models".  I will NOT miss...

Friends/Relatives to my mom referring to family pic: "Look how handsome (insert brother) is and how gorgeous (insert sister) is becoming. " When referring to me to not be rude, "She has beautiful hair".

WHAT?!?!?! What is that?? Do they really think that's any better than not saying anything at all? I certainly don't think so!

How about:

1.  Taking a bath with my daughter (very tight fit), and when I stand up, she says, "Whoa, Mom - you're taking all the water with you," because the mass of my body made the water look higher. 

2.  When my son was younger (and I was about 20 pounds lighter than I am right now), I was lying on the couch and apparently my shirt was kind of lifted so that my belly was showing.  He looked across the room, his eyes bulging out and said, "Oh my God, is that your stomach?  Lift up your shirt, I want to see all of that." 

3.  My sister-in-law saw a picture of me when I was thin (about 15 years ago), and she couldn't stop staring at it and saying, "Oh my, I can't believe you are this person." 

bump...this needs to go back to the 1st page :-)

This is why I am so grateful for this site.  We can all truly relate to the misery and pain of being overweight, and help each other get back to healthy!

The things I won't miss:

All of the above :)

My husband buying me a pedometer and aerobic videos for Mother's Day ( bad idea, husbands!)

Being able to run with my children-and not pass out.

Being able to be on top again! ( You can take that whatever way you like!)

Once I lose the weight, I won't miss..

1. Having to wear tights under skirts

2. Tights constantly rolling down and having to pull them up all the time, hoping that nobody is looking

3. Jeans falling down with every step I take, always having to yank them up

4. Fat shoes, and using my pretty heels as ornaments because they hurt me too much after a half hour

5. Only wearing tops that are long enough to cover my evil muffin top

6. Humiliating comments from teenagers

7. Being too embarrassed to buy food alone

8. Trying to get dressed quickly before my bf comes in the room

9. Being made to feel like a second class citizen just because I'm overweight

10. Looks of disgust, especially from the snidy little b***h at the gym reception counter. It makes me not want to go.

11. Feeling uncomfortable in my body

12. Only just being able to reach my legs to shave them, or to tie my shoes, put socks on.. etc

13. Ugly underwear

14. My bra making big red indentations

15. The sound of my bedsprings groaning under my weight as I get in

16. Wanting to stay at home all the time so that nobody will see me

17. Feeling like people are ashamed to be seen with me

18. Avoiding events

Ok, so I just got out of the bathtub and thought of something I'd like to accomplish...  I can't wait until I can look down and actually see my belly button! Hello, where did it go? Half of the time I forget I even have one.   When I can finally look down and see my belly button, I'll know I've arrived

I won't miss the man-breasts.

Original Post by anbarton:

Ok, so I just got out of the bathtub and thought of something I'd like to accomplish...  I can't wait until I can look down and actually see my belly button! Hello, where did it go? Half of the time I forget I even have one.   When I can finally look down and see my belly button, I'll know I've arrived

 This is a strange one for me. I will be getting a tummy tuck and they have to 'create' a new one for me. What if I don't like it? What if it's not in the right spot? Very weird and I can't wrap my mind around it.

Is it an option for them to not create the new one?  I think it might be kinda awesome to not have a belly button! After all, it's not like you need it! lol..

Original Post by ka2007:

Original Post by pepperminty:

Also, I don't want to be invisible anymore to men.

just a little warning, the shift in interest could maybe scare you at first:) maybe not, i am just thinking that because it has happened to me - suddenly men ogle me, and i am not exactly comfortable with that yet:)))

I have the same issues, I've gone from being gawked at and looked at with disgust to men drooling over me, more people pay attention to me now, then ever before in my life. Salespeople and all, it's like they can't wait to wait on me, before....at well over 350 lbs, I practically had to stare them down to get them to provide the customer service they were getting paid to provide.

Anyway, I look at it this way....those people wouldn't give me the time of day before, so I have little time to give them.  When I was wearing a 6x, or a 34/36, men thought I'd be "easy" and when they found I wasn't, they'd start hurling insults, now.....a size 6, almost a size 4, they wait for me as I'm walking up to a door, and they can't do enough for me.  It's funny though, one jerk a few weeks ago, perhaps because he was with two of his buddies, started hurling insults at me when I told him I wasn't impressed with his antics.  They never change!