A Big Girl no more...what I won't miss. Have any to share?
Consider this a cleansing ritual, like a smudging.
I would like to list the myriad of secret and not-so-secret pains and humiliations of being a Big Girl that I will be so happy to see the end of. Some are things I have suffered with for years and never told anyone about because it's too embarassing. I have no idea if anyone has experienced some or all of these - or maybe you have your own you'd like to share. I just kinda want to get them off my chest - free myself, as it were - and one by one watch them fall away.
1. Thigh chaffing. Definately deserves first mention. Years and years of wearing bike shorts under skirts to prevent this, even sleeping in them...I want to wear a dress with nothing underneath!
2. Not being able to fly out of worry that I won't fit in the seat. And when I finally got the courage to fly, always worrying about people's reactions when they see they have to sit next to me. And having to ask for a seatbelt extender...god I will be happy to not have to do that ever again
3. Going to a restaurant or other public place where the seats are too small, and having to cram my ass into one and sit painfully for however long
4. Always wondering when I meet someone new if they are thinking "gosh she's fat" instead of being interested in me as a person
5. Having just TWO (plus size) stores to shop at because all the other stores in town only carry hamster sizes.
6. Having really thin skin in the creases under my belly and between my crotch and thigh - so thin that even slight aggravation, from rubbing or sweating, will cause it to break and bleed or weep - summer is such a joy
7. Skin abcesses in sensitive areas. I am reeeeally hoping these will end once I am smaller!
8. Scarring from above abcesses, stretch marks, and other weird skin things due to overstretched skin. Probly stuck with these forever.
9. Huffing ang puffing from activity that my smaller friends/sisters/coworkers can do easily, like climbing stairs. Climbing stairs in general! Gosh I hate stairs!! I actually get angry inside at whoever I am with - I think to myself, you'd be huffing and puffing too if you were carrying an extra 100 lbs!
10. Rude comments. Teenage boys especially terrify me...they are mean and I am WAY too sensitive. I will be so happy to not feel scared of what someone might say anymore. Or be humiliated in front of whoever I am with by some mean stranger's comments.
11. Not being able to ride a roller coaster - the safety bar might not fit so I just avoid the whole issue and tell people I don't like them. I want to ride a roller coaster!
12. Fear of falling. The bigger they are, the harder they fall, is true. So I worry I will break something all the time.
13. Having to struggle through turnstyles. SO cruel.
14. Getting into someone else's car and worrying the seatbelt won't fit - half the time they don't - it's a humiliating little gamble! The last time this happened I was in the back seat with a nine year old girl who kept asking me, loudly, why I wasn't buckling my seatbelt. Apparently holding it across my chest was not fooling HER.
15. Eating in public and knowing people are watching to see what I eat. God forbid I ever splurge and eat an eclair in public - the one time I did that I got such a look of disgust from one woman, I wanted to shrivel up and die. I wish I didn't care what other people think, but you'd have to have a pretty tough skin to not let that get to you
16. Getting (another) mug as a souvenir when my parents come back from holiday while my sisters get cute tops from local stores
17. Feeling crappy when people go on and on about how GOOD I look when I've lost a little weight - because I can't help but think they thought I looked bad before - and knowing that, chances are, I will regain the lost weight and look "bad" again. I want to be free of this and other worries, and know that I am on the road to good health, and just enjoy the compliment!
Well that's about all I can think of right now, though I am sure there are more. It's good to air them.
Reason: 3/17/08: Stickied. 3/28/08: Unstickied, thanks for a great thread!
know what... i even expect some people who ignored me as fatty to come to me and sya nice things... even sort of prepared b*tchy things to say, how pathetic is that, hehe.
I don't have a belly button any longer...When I had my tummy tuck and they repaired the massive hernia I had, they found that the hernia had strangled my belly button and the blood to it was cut off. Since a belly button doesn't provide any vital function, the Doctors took it upon themselves to just cut it out. My plastic surgeon tried to make a new one, but it didn't take and it flattened out. He said he could try again, but honestly, I don't really care if there is one there or not. At first it was weird, especially when I rub my hand over my now flat stomach, but I've gotten used to it and it really is no big deal.
Robbyn
Is it an option for them to not create the new one? I think it might be kinda awesome to not have a belly button! After all, it's not like you need it! lol..
Thanks for posting Victoriagirl! Time to share my experiences!
Things I won't miss when I am no longer obese include:
1. self-conscious worry over sleeveless tops. My upper arms are HUGE. It will be nice to wear sleeveless shirts and enjoy them rather than worry about what folks are thinking when they see the massive upper arms I have.
2. Fat clothes. I will not miss having to buy fat clothes. I won't miss having to wash and store fat clothes.
3. Isolation. I will not miss self-inflicted isolation from family and friends based on how fat I am.
4. Always being tired. I will not miss lacking energy to keep up with my son. I want to be with him and do the things he wants to do without fear of my fat getting in the way.
5. The big kayak. I used to love whitewater kayaking. Over the last 3 years, I got so huge that the "small" boat no longer fit. I ended up with a larger kayak to float my fat a$$ but being petite, my arms aren't long enough to roll myself over if I flip in whitewater. This is potentially life threatening. I don't want to avoid kayak trips because I am too fat to fit in the boat I need to be in. I also won't miss the knee braces in my kayak digging into my fat legs and the seat anchors digging into my back so hard that it looks like I have been in a car wreck after a day of "fun". I want to enjoy this again so bad!
6. Being the fat chick on the ski slopes. Yep, I am prehaps the fattest skier in the United States. I don't think I have seen any one larger than me on skies. I don't want to be an elephant on the hills anymore.
7. seeing myself in a swimsuit. I hate the way I look in swimsuits...period. It is disgusting.
8. Back fat. I will not miss back fat not for a moment. I hate the rolls jiggling on my sides when I walk accentuated by the deep cutting bra band causing the fat to poke out a bit more. Back fat waving to strangers and I walk past in an attempt to spur comments from strangers about how fat I am.
9. Thigh rub...chub rub. How many pairs of jeans/pants do I have to loose to thigh friction before it isn't funny anymore? I hate the summer rash and the inability to wear shorts because they ride up. I will not miss this at all!
10. Inadequacy. I will NOT miss feeling inadequate or unintelligent based on my appearance. I am a FAT short woman and I feel like I am never taken seriously by anyone in my professional career ....with the exception of my current supervisor. I will not miss folks thinking that I am a fat and lazy slob because I am fat.
The list goes on forever so I'd better stop here.
My mother is a gorgeous lady. She gets compliments every time she goes out (and, she's so naive she thinks it's perfectly normal). I used to hate going to the coffee shop with her 'cause everyone knows her (she's known as "the lady with the pretty dresses" and "the Hong Kong movie star!"--which she's not, but is often compared to). And then they see me and are like "Oh....that's your daughter? Uh....well, you know, she's still got some time to uh....((don't say grow))"
I can be seen outdoors with her without being embarassed now. Though I can't say I'm used to the attention.
Original Post by dovebunnie:
My mother is a gorgeous lady. She gets compliments every time she goes out (and, she's so naive she thinks it's perfectly normal). I used to hate going to the coffee shop with her 'cause everyone knows her (she's known as "the lady with the pretty dresses" and "the Hong Kong movie star!"--which she's not, but is often compared to). And then they see me and are like "Oh....that's your daughter? Uh....well, you know, she's still got some time to uh....((don't say grow))"
I can be seen outdoors with her without being embarassed now. Though I can't say I'm used to the attention.
Wow! How hard it must be to live in those shadows! I am glad you feel better about yourself now-a-days.
I still need to lose the weight, I have just begun. But here is what I am looking forward to:
No more shelf butt (that space between the top of my butt and my back....I'll have to find a new place for my collectibles!)
Losing the "waddle". I want to glide when I walk...not waddle.
as mentioned above, having everything fit under the water in the bathtub (my stomach and boobs want a soak, too)
thigh chafing
The "swish, swish" orchestra that accompanies me when I walk because my thighs rub together
no more grannie panties
no more arm flab flapping
chubby cheeks (on both ends)
no more being the "fat friend". Let someone else take that job!
And I'm sure there is more but......I want my WEDDING RING TO FIT AGAIN!
i will not miss windiw shopping during summer sales, and syaing "these thin gals have it so easy, a t-shirt for (the equivalent of) 3 dollars"... (as many of you will know, not many plus size shops have this kind of sales, and if they have a sale, the range of clothing abvailable is usually pretty narrow).
i can buy normal XL t-shirts in some shops (in other shops, normal XL is still too tight) and am really looking forward to buying normal L and M (i will probably not wear S, but M will do)
Things I don't miss now, just going down from 311 lbs to 294 lbs :
1. Not being able to sit in a movie theater seat.
Last two movies I sat through comfortably without the sides of the seat digging into my thighs and bruising them.
2. Not being able to sit in a booth at a cafe.
3. I don't miss the horrible low back pain, the pain in my knees (yes it's already getting better!) and the foot pains.
I was to the point of taking up to 10 or 15 advil per day because of pain in my knees. Now I'm down to taking only 4 before bed time, because I do still have achey legs.
Things I won't miss once I lose more weight:
1. People talk about young boys or teenage boys? Try some teen girls. I was walking down the grocery aisle back in May when I began this journey, and one of them said behind me "She needs a separate aisle for her ass" and they snickered. I wanted to cry. I won't get tired of little stares, comments, or laughter.
2. The anxiety I feel when going to a mall. I went clothes shopping with my tax rebate and left the mall in tears. Yep. I felt like a neurotic mess. I was so hoping my bit of weight loss would yeild the chance the fit into some new clothes but no dice. I will be happy when the day comes that I can walk into that mall and go to any store I like and pick out something I want.
I won't miss having to spend extra money at Lane Bryant or Woman Within. I won't miss having people stare at me when I walk into a Lane Bryant either, which has happened on occasion.
3. When I can wear a sexy bra and look good in it. My bra looks like my grandmas. And it's from Lane Bryant. This isn't sexy, it's a huge mess of elastic and discomfort.
4. When I can get into the car without feeling the wheel press against my belly. It's slowly starting to change, but I'll be glad for the extra roominess I will encounter later on.
5. To stop hiding from family. I don't feel comfortable anymore around anyone, especially my mum in law. She lost 120 pounds with WW and constantly brags about it. I don't mind that she brags because I will brag too, but she's also become extremely judgemental of fat people even though she was fat all of her life. I feel fearful of being underneath all her scrutiny. Her new MO is "If I can lose weight anyone can, and if they're not doing it they are ugly fat cows in my eyes". So I tend to feign sickness ALOT just to get away from her.
6. To stop hiding from my husband. We haven't been intimate in a long, long time. He wants to, and he's always trying....but I just can't.
7. To soak in a nice hot bath tub with candles again. I used to do this all of the time, and I haven't in years. I can't take a bath because I can't get up and out of the bloody bath tub. I certainly won't call on my husband to come get me either.
8. Shoes. I have bought alot of shoes years ago that I simply adore and cannot wear. So they sit and wait for me until my feet can slip into them again.
9. Edema. I won't miss swollen feet, cankles, or swollen puffy ankles from having too much sodium or a super hot day. The edema is improving with what little I have lost so far, but I still get puffer feet and I try to hide them beneath long skirts. Forget wearing cute sandals. I'm hiding them in crocs. I hate crocs!
10. I won't miss having to tell my daughter, "Mummy is too tired and doesn't feel good" when she wants me to take her outside to run around or go somewhere for a long walk. I won't miss that sad confused look on her face either.
Number 11 definitely hits home! I'd never had that problem before til like the last year. I went to Six Flags Spring break of this year and nearly suffocated myself to ride the Judge Roy Scream. Then to make things worse, when I went to push the bar down to release it so I could get out I almost couldn't because there was barely any room between the bar and my stomach! Argh!!! I never want to go through that again, ever!
The other day, my friends and I were hanging around our dorm floor, when one of my friends (who meant well...), told my bigger friend that she was voluptuous. Then she went around the room and told everyone who was overweight that they were voluptuous as well. Soooo, is that just a code word for fat?? I won't miss that kind of thing
I hate wearing shorts too! For the same reason! they always ride up, and it looks so awkward to keep pulling them down every five seconds.
I won't miss mean boys making fun. I mean complete strangers! What kind of world do we live in?
I wont miss...
- feeling uncomfortable when I am sitting down. My stomach just lumps up.
- feeling terrible when I get my picture taken
- Feeling self consious when I am wearing something short sleeved/sleeveless
- not believing my boyfriend when he tells me that he like my body
- bathing suits...bane of my existance
- I do believe I am beautiful, but I want to find out just how beautiful I would be at a healthy weight
- feeling like I never really fit in with my friends because I am big
- not being able to climb up this robe wall/obstacle course thing we have at my summer camp...It was so embarassing, everyone watching, cheering down below, feeiling all the weight strain againt my strength
- feeling like people wonder why my boyfriend is going out with a big girl
- Wanting to hide, when God meant for me to live freely
Hi! Thought I should share this link to all of my friends. Hopefully this will provide an inspiration for anyone who would like a transformation in their life.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. (Bernice Johnson Reagon) www.weightlosshalloffame.com (click on hall of famers)
If you have any other questions and would like to know more about when and how you can start, please do not hesitate to e-mail me.
Yours truly,
readytocleanseforlife
readytocleanseforlife@gmail.com
Original Post by readytocleanseforlife:
Hi! Thought I should share this link to all of my friends. Hopefully this will provide an inspiration for anyone who would like a transformation in their life.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. (Bernice Johnson Reagon) www.weightlosshalloffame.com (click on hall of famers)If you have any other questions and would like to know more about when and how you can start, please do not hesitate to e-mail me.
Yours truly,
readytocleanseforlife
readytocleanseforlife@gmail.com
this post hit home for me many times, it even made me cry. I have felt like so many of you, being sad/ashamed of myself, and then having someone point it out to me like I didn't know. So here are a few of my things I won't miss when I reach my goal(s)
1. being the fattest girl in the room, I hate to look around and see how much thinner everyone else is. Especially since i thought I looked good before I left the house,
2. I HATE shopping at Lane Bryant, thank God for the selection, but I hate that it seems to be the only option. Although I can now wear a 16 regular at most stores (not all), and an XL regular (not plus) - major accomplishment
3. chaffing oh how I hate the chaffing, whenever it stops for me I think angels will sing,
4. ahhh being able to wear a bathing suit not wrapping myself in a towel at every convenience.
5. stretch marks, oh how I wish they would go away with the lbs, but alas they will not, as I lose weight it seems that more appear. I fear that I will never be happy naked if there are mirrors aroun, ever.
6. Mirrors, I currently avoid them, I do not look at them when walking by them in stores, at home, ever. They are just a constant reaffirmation of what I am, and do not want to be
7. Pictures- yuk. I especially hate the ones of myself with my girlfriends (who are all very thin) that are posted on their myspaces/facebook pages, I have removed their links to me, its bad enough I can' take them down :( The pictures make me look like an oger who has come to eat them
8. I will not miss wishing I was thinner, and dreaming about what it will be like. Living in a box of wishes. I want to live outside the bos
9. Believing my hubby when he tells me that I'm beautiful, he's amazing and wonderful, and I know it hurts his feelings when I don't believe him.
10. I will not miss looking down and seeing my fat rolls, ughhhhhh! And having my pants rub weird on my waist
11. I will not miss having long boobs. I'm sure they will still be long but a shorter version of long, lol
12. When people stare at my arms wondering if they are staring at the largeness of them, or my tattoos. The later is fine and to be expected
13. Obsessing over when this is all going to end, and stepping up and taking charge of my lifes challenges.
I wish you all the confidence to meet you goals, not luck you don't need luck!
This is the best thread ever, I am so glad I came across it
What type of food should not be eaten?
Calorie Count does not prescribe a particular diet or tell people to avoid particular foods. We only ask that you eat a balanced diet... Read more
