Binge buddy

Hey,

I'm a 20 year old college senior who has lost the last ten years of her life to eating disorders, originally anorexia (only for a year, but i lost 30 pounds and was down to 95) and now binge eating disorder.  It's driving me nuts.  I plan my life around binges and subsequent gym visits, but now i'm in a gym slump and not really burning off the binges and thus gaining weight which is striking up the ol' anxiety attacks.  I eat close 4,000 calories a day (more or less) of all "healthy foods" (fruit, yogurt, whole grains, cereals, lean protein, etc), exercise for at least an hour (elliptical mostly) err at least i used to, weigh 125 pounds (and gaining), am 5'5" and though of course i would love to lose weight because who doesn't...i just desperately need a new life, because bingeing has become such a bad habit that it's ruining every part of my life.  I spend all day thinking about my last binge or planning for the next one, go to the gym to work it off, then binge for an hour straight and hate myself for the rest of the night, refusing to see friends because of how bloated i am and how disgusted i feel/am with myself, and i really need help.  Anyone out there understand what I'm going through?