Binge Eaters: I want your feedback!

I'm writing to request the input of people who binge eat.  I'm defining binge eating as eating that is difficult to stop--feeling like once you start eating you are unable to control how much you eat and when you stop eating.  I'm in the process of desiging a research study that examines the CONSEQUENCES of binge eating.  So I'm looking for your input on what have been some of negative consequences of your binge-eating behaviors.  For example, a college student used to binge eat in the evenings because she was stressed about getting school work done.  After binging, she was so tired and full, she couldn't do any school work.  As a result, she did poorly on several exams, turned in papers late and experienced other school-related negative consequences.  Another woman described how her binge eating used to lead to fights in her relationship with her boyfriend.

In that vein, I am interested in hearing about the negative consequences that you've endured as a result of binge eating.  Providing this information will help me design a study to examine this more thoroughly and, ultimately, design treatments that can better help people who struggle with binge eating.

Thank you in advance for your help!! 

Hi, I’m Leigh and I’m a 21 year old personal trainer from Australia

I lost my job. I didn’t want to be around any one after I stuffed my face because as a person, I highly value my physical health and its outward appearance and I want to be an image that people want to emulate

I would binge one a jar of peanut butter and chocolate, or baked beans and several bowels of cereal and then have to go to work feeling like I was going to vomit.

Being in a gym, it reminded me of the lifestyle I believed in and loved living, and how much binge eating was ruining my way of life.

It affected how I felt about myself, and I could not fake it or over come it and it affected how I acted at work, my head was consumed with thinking about food and binging and I couldn’t do my job to my potential so I needed to stop.

Binge eating can cause insomnia, especially if you eat at night which I did at times, so lack of sleep also caused me to loose my job, on top of not thinking straight; ultimately I could not be fully 100% present when dealing with people and it showed.

I now feel better then ever and am going to start getting professional help

The think that helped me the most was calculating ( a site on the internet did it for me) the ideal amount of carbohydrates/protein/fat I needed each day.

Physiologically it makes you feel like binging MUCH more when your body is genuinely craving something, AS WELL as wanting to binge for non physical reasons. The combination of a lack of calories or nutrients and the binge mind set makes it very difficult to stop.

Hi,

My name is Kim.  I am not sure if I fit your definition of a "binge eater".  I honestly don't know when I'm full, I think my brain is missing that trigger.  I am an emotional eater so when I start I really don't stop. 

Portion control, although very helpful, was hell to start.  It took a good 4 weeks before I stopped being cranky and 2 months later I am just starting to know what a proper portion actually looks like without measuring. 

I fell off the wagon this past week, it was my birthday, and I can't believe how much I ate.  During my party I polished off  a spinach dip by myself plus multiple munchies.  I also ate an entire container of cookies the next morning just because they were there. 

I used to buy containers of cookie dough and 4 litres of ice cream...both would be gone by the end of the evening.  My biggest negative effect was my health.  No goodness coming in meant I never felt really well, and it would usually start a cycle of way over eating, feeling gross, not eating for too long, then pigging out again.

I am lucky enough to have a very supportive husband.  He has allowed my to ban all really high calorie foods from the house so when I have the craving the worst I can do is eat lots of popcorn.  Not having the food is the only way I have been able to break the cycle.  Like I said earlier, it's been months but the cravings still haven't gone away.  Last night I had a bag of popcorn just because I was bored.

I'll be 16 in January. About 6 or 7 months ago, I decided that I did not like my body, or my flabby stomach. So I started to eat healthy and cut way back on junk food. I was about 120 lbs then, possibly more, I couldn't really say because I never weighed myself. After a while of this very strict dieting, it became an obsession. I suffered from really bad cravings, but controlled them by having them in moderation as much as possible. I tried to choose low-calorie foods and ate as few calories and fat grams as I good, basically just above the self-starvation limit. I exercised, not excessively, usually just walking and jogging occasionally. I am 5'3, and I was down to 98 lbs after a really big meal, so I was probably about 95 pounds normally. I was always thinking about food, and I was so weak from not eating I couldn't even exercise anymore, and I just laid around all day and was constantly fatigued. When I went to my grandmother's house for vacation though, upwards of two months ago, I was determined not to gain any weight, but my eating habits scared her and she began to pressure me to eat more. I agreed that I needed to gain weight because I just couldn't live like this anymore. I took a half-hearted effort at eating more healthy stuff, but I wasn't really trying. One day, after watching my family eat pies and cakes continously, I was offered a piece and I just couldn't say no. I ate four large pieces of pie, and from that day on, I've been binging on incredible amounts of junk, basically anything I can get my hands on, with the exception of a few days where I tried to start starving myself again in an attempt to reverse the 12 or 13 lbs I gained. However, the longest I've made it without binging is 2 and a half days. I try quite often not to binge, usually I'll go a day without binging, binge for two days after that and try again, often failing on my first day. The effect on me has not been good. It's depressing for me now, because each time I try and fail I lose hope. When I'm not bingeing, I'm starving myself. I've tried to eat in moderation, but it almost always turns into a binge. On the days that I don't binge, I feel good about the fact that I'm not fat, but the leering thought of how if I keep this up, I'll lose my energy again keeps returning. Usually though, I end up bingeing before I have to worry about that. It's pretty much for me a living hell. On one side I feel skinny and healthy, on the other side I feel fat and doomed. Every day I face the prospect of the undignified amounts of junk food I eat or not eating much junk at all and facing awful cravings and hunger. If I could look into a crystal ball and see how I look 4 years from now, I'd be scared to. I'm either going to be overweight, underweight, or, if a miracle happens, a healthy weight. The trouble is, I truly, honestly, desire to be underweight. So why can't I be? I'd rather be underweight than fat, but the cravings are just too overpowering. My family does not take this problem seriously, mostly because I binge in secret. Will it take seeing me become morbidly obese to realize that I have a problem? I don't want to talk about it with them. They'll just worry about me, and they've worried enough about me over my lifetime. The effect in a nutshell: a near ruined, miserable life.

I'm 16 and I've been a binge eater since 2006. After a break-up, I came home in tears and saw a box of chocolate truffles sitting on the kitchen table. That's when I started to binge eat. I ate the whole box of truffles in 15 minutes and went to look for more food to eat. I felt that eating helped me get over things. So now, whenever I'm in stress or unhappy, I always turn to food. Whenever my mom and I fight, I sneak whole loaves of bread into my room and eat and eat. Whenever I had a big test the next day, I would pretend to study while wolfing down cookies and bread and peanut butter.

Binging has caused me to loose valuable time with school work, because I am too busy eating rather than doing homework. Binging took me away from hanging out with friends because it was always on days I binge, that someone would ask if I wanted to hang with him. And of course by then, my belly would be so sick, that I couldn't even walk. So then I'd decline their invitation to hang out. Binging made me restrict the next day, and then after I would binge again. Like the binge-restrict cycle. Binging made me feel fat. Yet I feel as though I don't have the power to stop it. Binging made the holidays horrid for me because I would eat all the festive foods in a short period of time and then feel very sick. And worst of all, I don't know how to throw up, so all the food is just sitting in my belly. Waiting for them to slide into my bum and my thighs and belly.

I hope that soon, I'll be able to overcome this eating disorder and be able to enjoy food and to use food as nourishment instead of using it as a symbol of hope.

i'm not a perfectionist, but i really like it when things go perfectly. my main problem is that when something doesn't go perfectly, i just give up, and i think that's when i binge.

when i go to the gym, i don't even have the slightest urge to binge.. but when i skip a workout, i feel as if i've failed myself and therefore i stuff myself.

there are many downsides of binge-eating. i almost feel like a bad person when i binge, i've always had the thought in my head ever since i was a child that good people didn't have problems. the feelings of guilt and regret really suck too.

like strawberry-dolly said; it really puts a dent in your social life. after binging, you feel fat and whatever bloating you have feels three times as large, and you feel too self-conscious to go out. i've never told any of my friends that i have a binging problem, so i'd never want them to see me bloated like that.

also, the weight gain really stinks. i went from 107 lbs to 150 lbs in less than a year. not fun!

the last downside i can think of right now, is the person binging changes you into. i binge in secret and i never wnated anybody to know, so i'd hide and steal food and then i'd lie about it. i don't like lying to my family and i don't like sneaking around or hiding things.

i think i just need to find a way to deal with changes or imperfections without resorting to giving up, because i do it in amny aspects. i take art, and whenever i feel like i've messed up a drawing, i just throw it in the trash.

i hope i helped.

Thank you so much to everyone who has responded so far.  Each of you has been so helpful in providing a very rich, personal perspective on this issue.   It's clear that the costs of binge eating can be high at times, which is the very reason I'm interested in researching this issue further.  I'm humbled by your strength to persevere through this process.

I also welcome others to share their experiences, as well as discussion among those who have posted. 

One area that I am particularly interested in is relationships.  Has your binge eating caused conflict or tension in relationships?  Have you ended a relationship because of issues related to binge eating?  Or have you experienced other stressful events that you would trace back to binging?

Thanks again.  I am so grateful for your willingness to share.

Hi, my name is kathryn - leigh and I have been suffering from a binge eating disorder for the past 5 years. It has put a HUGE damper on my social life, self esteem, and the like. I'm currently in college & I attend an arts school. The main problem I find with my binge eating is my daily struggle with perfectionism. 

Perfectionists think in the extreme, "all or nothing" frame of mind, which is so self - destructive. But I have been that way as long as I can remember. Having to be the best and having EVERYONE like me at the same time. Problem? Impossible task. 

People are going to develop opinions of you whether you like it or not. Unfortunately, that's just the way life is. And that is out of our control. Having binge eating disorder is like having another personality, in a way. Someone referenced this ... but that window is no longer up on my computer screen so I apologize in advance for the lack of citation! 

In my experience, I feel/become an entirely different person when I binge. I suffer from extreme insomnia - sometimes not able to sleep properly for weeks at a time. And when it is a bad week, I lock myself up in my room ... too ashamed/overwhelmed to go to classes, social outings, etc. But the biggest negative consequence is the LACK of ENERGY. It's almost like depression: you feel as if you didn't love the things you once used to because you're body is constantly in overdrive. My biggest binges on your typical "comfort foods" (cheese, sweets, nuts/fats) have been around the 5000 calorie mark per DAY. I have been close to hospitalization b/c of how sick I've been in the past due to emotional - stress issues. How awful, right? 

And I mean, it's not like us binge eaters think that little of ourselves or that we WANT to have this behavior. It's like another force comes over you mentally and no matter how much control you THINK you have over it ... it always seems to creep up & take the driver's seat. 

I'm so lucky. I have an extremely loving family, boyfriend, and friends supporting me. So I've no longer have relationship issues. But I was in an abusive relationship previously ... and believe me, being in a situation like that only makes matters worse for emotional eaters. I did end the relationship because I knew that my mental health would spin out of control if I didn't. No one should EVER be criticized about her body/her self - worth. And that was one of the biggest life lessons I learned which has actually IMPROVED my condition. 

What I've learned so far (& I am extremely interested in seeing how this study develops ... currently fighting this) is that you have to 

1) be kind to yourself ... no matter HOW much damage is done. 

2) take one day at a time. 

I'm making it my main goal to conquer this eating disorder once & for all this year. Because I am young, I know I can fight this. I'm so thankful for this website!! 

Hi I'm Laren.

I've always been an obsessive person. OCD- like tendencies s runs in my family, along with anxiety. When I was young, I used to pick out my eyebrows with my fingers (trictotillomania) because i was so worried. I've never done anything well without becoming obsessed with it. Food for me, always equated to fun. Because I was a skinny child, I never experienced and consequences. But when I stopped being skinny, grew up and gained weight, i had to diet for health reasons. And I knew I would get obsessed. And I did. I underate for a long time, lost weight, started working out while continuing to undereat and developed a bingeing problem. Months later, after upping my calories to an apporpriate amount, I have kept it as a tool to stuff my feelings. 

I also, as said above, like it when things go perfectly (stick to my plans, etc) but I also can't stand it when things are too structured. I'm also very all or nothing, a treat that it not in my predescribed food schedule is a huge trigger. Sometimes I think that actual binge is the most fun ever, but  I of course always feel terrible after, and sometimes during. It's self desrtucitive and it allows me to not be real. It allows me to become a gluttonous alter ego who doesn't have ot htink about her real problems, only this one.

The consequences of bingeing for me, is that I procrastinate using bingeing and never get anything done. I can't lose weight, no matter how much exercise i do. I hate myself alot, i feel full and fat and disgusting. I'm not a real person, because I can't deal with my feelings. I just stuff them. A long time ago I decided I was never going to have any problems, and I guess in my denial I decided that food would appropriately stuff my feelings. I have canceled outings with friends to binge. I lie aobut food I've eaten and basically have an alter ego. 

I hope that I helped. I really don't have any definites about my whole situation. I'd say I'm doing the best I can but I have no idea what that is...