I just binged for the first time in over 2 months

I feel so so so awful. It's going to be so hard to come back from this now.

Motivaton is completely gone now. :(

remember..it's not the end of the world. one day will not derail 2 months worth of progress. it requires you to consume an EXTRA 3500 calories to even gain 1 pound of weight, so brush yourself off and move on. i know it's easier said than done but it's really not going to be the best thing for you to keep thinking about it, it's in the past. drink lots of water to get your digestive fluids pumping and you will be fine. don't weight yourself for a few days either because it will not be accurate. ensure you are not being overly restrictive and make sure you allow yourself the occasional treat.=] good luck and feel better!!

you made it two months without binging?! that's an amazing accomplishment right there! if you can do that, then you can definitely pick yourself up from this fall!

I just thought I could handle anything by now you know. I thought I was done eating my feelings but obviously it just got too much..

I am sorry this happened but it does not take away from your progress. Now that it happened it is a time to look at why and then move forward from here. It does not have to be black or white you can still get back on track. What do you think happened to have you binge and what are some ways to help you get through this without food?Try not ot be too hard on yourself

When I have an eating slip up, I just let it go.  I went for 6 months before I did something really "bad".  I did log what I ate and discovered it wasn't as bad as I thought; I basically had eaten maintenance calories.  I've been told to zig-zag your calories to stimulate your metabolism.  So I zigged.  Then I went into a long zag (regular calories for weight loss).  Last night was another "zig"  today will be the zag.  I'm not going beyond today to worry about what I'm going to eat a week from tomorrow.  One day at a time!  Why hate yourself for being human?  If you don't learn from your mistakes, you will be on a perpetual "diet" all your life.  Eating something horrible (in moderation) is something that we are all trying learn how to recover from.  I personally don't want to be stuck eating carrot sticks forever!  I want to have a slice of loaded pizza everyonce in a while, but not half the pizza!

I've found that being Philosophical and thinking about things too much only puts me in a depressed situation.....Therefore just accept what you did and do something else.

And by the way your soooo pretty  =D  If thats you in the picture.

Me too. Darn Girl Scouts!

Original Post by mommakitty:

If you don't learn from your mistakes, you will be on a perpetual "diet" all your life. 

Ah, that's so good.  I've never thought of it that way.  If we don't learn now to pick ourselves back up, we will have to learn later.  Or we will forever be doomed to dietland.  So true!

I_startedthefire-- You can do it.  If you can stick with it for two months, you can recover from a teeeeeeny tiny day.  Really, the worst part of overeating is the self-anger.  So why not spare yourself?  Instead, you can reward yourself for being so nice to you with a delicious grapefruit.  And, as mommakitty said (I'm paraphrasing): If you don't learn to recover now, you're gonna have to learn later.

Two months is a huge achievement. Earlier this year I broke around a year binge free and suddenly overloaded and I refused to beat myself up because hell, I had gone around a YEAR without them. A single slip does not equate a total failure.

Original Post by armouryfadida:

I've found that being Philosophical and thinking about things too much only puts me in a depressed situation.....Therefore just accept what you did and do something else.

 

And by the way your soooo pretty  =D  If thats you in the picture.

 Yess..thank you! :D

I love all the encouragement people have given you so far, they're so right!  I, too, binged after 2 months of being "good" and felt pretty discouraged.  But everyone's right... you deserve to be proud of your growth and you deserve to treat yourself with compassion!

Instead of beating yourself up, try thinking about how you would talk to a little child (your own child, a younger cousin, someone you babysit for, etc.)  Wouldn't you have compassion on a young child for being in so much emotional distress/turmoil/etc. that they resorted to an unhealthy coping mechanism (which is the way I see bingeing)?

After my last binge I realized that I've been "conditioned" to associate binges with COMFORT- I let everything go, I feel numb, I lift all my rules.  Since then I've been consciously telling myself "THIS is comfort" when I'm doing things that are beneficial to me mentally, emotionally, and physically- being with friends, being physically active, having a quiet moment to myself.  I'm trying to "retrain" myself to seek other forms of comfort than bingeing.

I was in an outpatient eating disorder program and they told us before discharge, "Relapse is the RULE, not the exception."  You're not weak or weird for having a tough time after 2 months of not bingeing... that's the growth and learning process!

Hang in there, we're all rooting for you and supporting you!!!

Original Post by forlifeandhealth:

 "Relapse is the RULE, not the exception." 

Thank you so much!

 That sounds like I would like that if I could understand, could you please elaborate?

Original Post by i_startedthefire:

Original Post by forlifeandhealth:

 "Relapse is the RULE, not the exception." 

Thank you so much!

 That sounds like I would like that if I could understand, could you please elaborate?

I think that is supposed to mean that relapse is something that happens to all people trying to recover from some sort of disordered eating pattern. In general it's something that is expected to happen (aka is the rule), as opposed to being the exception where it's something that doesn't usually happen.

I'm actually seeing a nutritionist now to help me in the recovery process from what I guess is considered ednos. After I had gone about a month without binging she told me that it was great, but not to be surprised when I binged again. And she told me that it would happen, and it was just a matter of time. She said that the healthiest thing I could do when I did binge again was to just accept that I had binged, make note of it for our whenever our next appointment was, and move on as though the binge had not happened. She also gave me a few documents on "What to do instead of binging", and reccomended that when I did have another binge that instead of doing anything I'd normally do after binging, I should do something on the list and distract myself from any negative feelings of guilt that I would have.

When I did have a binge another 2 months later, I was prepared for it... and as soon as I realized that I had binged, I got out of the house, left the mess in my kitchen, and did something distracting. I still felt bad about it a little bit, but kept telling myself that no, this was a normal part of recovery, and that I'd just keep going through my normal routine as though I had not binged.

It's hard, but if you made it two months without binging, you can surely make it another two months without binging!

*edited because of grammer issues.

Here's what I would do. I would try and set the experience aside after journalling about it extensively. How did you feel just before you ate? While you ate? After you ate? What specifically happened that day, and how did you feel about those events?

The next thing I would do is give myself a day of healthy eating --lots of water and lots of fibre -- and a decent calorie deficit --to get back on track.  The day after that, I would weigh myself first thing in the morning even if it's not my day to do so. I would think the number would be pretty much the same as it would have been had I not binged. The above poster was right to point out that it takes 3500 calories extra to gain just one pound.  This two day reality check might just let me forgive myself and move on, stronger for it.

Keep us posted! I, for one, share this eating disorder with you. A part of me feels like I am just a few binges away from quitting. A bigger part of me feels like I'm beating this and I'll continue to do so. I hope you feel the same way. I dare say you do because you've posted about your experience and not kept it to yourself. If you weren't in some type of recovery you wouldn't have done that.

Cheers,

Mike

Thank you guys so much for all your encouragement! You have helped me tremendously!

Can I just add one thing? Remember not to restrict too much in the days after a binge. Don't eat if you're really not hungry, but be careful because undereating can lead to another binge.

Two months is great!! Congrats on that accomplishment.

I, too, was doing very, very, well. Then, we got news that my MIL has stage 4 bone cancer. I've been on a daily binge for over a week. Got on the scale this morning....wanted to cry. I feel terrible.  Trying to let it go and move forward from today.