Just binged, but still hungry...

Okay, so I sort of had a relapse today and binged. I'm very depressed and the day was so stressful. :(

Background on why:

I spent all week cleaning my house and throwing away stuff I actually wanted to keep, because I had my family coming over for the FIRST time since I moved into my home 2 years ago (I'm normally a bit of a shut-in). I cleaned for 12 hours straight on Wednesday, and 8 hours straight on Thursday. I didn't even stop to eat. I was sore and can barely move and I worked soooo hard.  ;_;

But after spending two hours getting ready this morning and doing my hair and make up and picking out my outfit, NOBODY came. I got a message that my cousin was "sick", and that they all had to cancel.

What a waste of the whole week! To say that cleaning my place was traumatic for me is an understatement (I'm an OCD hoarder and have a hard time throwing anything away, even trash).

So today I binged and ate 3600 calories for lunch. That's actually a lot smaller than my usual binges, so it's not as bad as it could be.

But here's my dilemma:

I'm starving right now. I feel empty (physically), and shakey, and light headed. I'm so hungry for dinner, even though I finished my "lunch" only 2 hours ago. So do I eat dinner even though I just finished a huge lunch? Maybe a small one? I won't be able to sleep until I eat something. But I don't trust my body's hunger signals, so maybe it's just a mild panic attack instead of hunger. I can't even tell.

I heard once that you should resume normal meals after a binge, instead of skipping them to compensate. I dunno if that's true, or if I'm just desperate for an excuse to keep eating.

Any advice?

I find that when I'm tired (low blood sugar, maybe), I get very hungry and in addition my resistence goes down.

It might be too late to help your problem (I don't know when you posted), but rather than wracking yourself with pain of self-denial that will keep you from sleeping, perhaps a moderate meal and then get some rest.

What I often do when I "fall off the wagon" is not try to make up for it ... but just pick myself up and continue with the program. I think that if you try to make up for the binge, you might end up making things worse (you'll get even hungrier and more out of control, eat even more, feel even worse ... etc)

So, don't beat yourself up about this. It happens. On the bright side, with all the work you put in, you might well have worked off a lot of those calories!  (But don't use that possibility to calculate how much more you can eat  )

It wasn't a waste of ur whole week!!! how can u say that?  Maybe they'll come visit soem other time...so now at least the big stuff is done and u wont need to work that hard to clean ur place. 

Personally after a binge I CAN'T STOP EATTING not even the next day!!! because i get so depressed that i think "what's done is done...i probably gained 10 lbs just now so who cares"  After I get back to my sences I don't eat for an entire day to "make up" for it.  BAD IDEA because then I'm starving myself.

You should keep lots of vegetables around.  Have them ready and clean so u can just open the fridge and EAT ALL U WANT (talking abt veggies here).

Personally today I got very depressed and when i get like that i eat a lot!  today i decided to change that...or at least if im gonna eat a lot i'll eat something that wont "hurt" me as much...so I ate watermelon :D everytime i wanted to eat that's waht i ate!  its better than chocolate and burgers!

Here's the physiology,......   When you eat a very large amount of food your blood-sugars go up like a rocket. (Especially if the foods you chose were particularly sugary or starchy)  Your body then starts to produce large amounts of insulin to deal with this situation.   The sugars come down again quite rapidly.... sometimes too rapidly.... and when your blood-sugars get to a particular level (low) then you feel hungry/shaky/lethargic/in a low mood again.   It's 'Chinese Restaurant Syndrome'....

Yes, have a light supper.  Skipping meals just sets up the next binge.   Choose the foods carefully.... Something like a Lentil Soup which combines protein, fibre, fat and liquid is going to be warming and satisfying without re-spiking the blood sugars or adding many more calories to your day. 

Thanks everyone, I did decide to eat something. I ended up melting some cheese on a piece of bread, because I'm a pig. *sigh*

gi-jane, I wish I had seen your post earlier. I actually do have some lentils in the house, and that would have been a smarter choice. I'm a vegetarian, so I dunno how I would have replaced the bacon though.

 I would say that tomorrow is a fresh start, but I have a big family lunch tomorrow and if my mood doesn't improve, I already know I will overeat. So wish me luck for a fresh start on Sunday instead.

It's so weird that I can have so much willpower 90% of the time, and then 10% of the time my self-control just vanishes. It's so black and white, never gray. I don't even feel like the same person sometimes.

The bacon is only there as a flavouring... you could just leave it out and the soup is pretty tasty as it is.

As for the family lunch... you talk as if overeating is inevitable.  That's rather defeatist.   If you think about it carefully now, in the cold light of day, you can come up with some kind of game-plan, I'm sure.  Start the day with a good breakfast.  Maybe even rustle up some of that lentil soup and have a bowl before you get there... take the edge off your appetite?  Choose more vegetables at lunch... say 'no thanks' to any alcohol or bread rolls, have a small amount of dessert... There's lots you can do to approach it sensibly

I'm not trying to be a defeatist, I just know myself by now. Sometimes I can resist, sometimes I can't. And if I feel this way tomorrow, I doubt I'll care about calories by the time those menus come around.

Even if I skip all breads and drinks and desserts, I'd still go over my calorie limit. When you can only have 1200 calories per day, there's no real way to stay under your limit while going out to a place like Claim Jumper or something. I could eat really small portions and give the rest away, for sure. But those meals are so calorie-loaded, that even a small portion would blow my diet. They don't even have low-fat dressings if I ordered a salad (not that I'd ever let my family pay 12 bucks for a salad, that's just wasting money).

Normally that's okay, and I let myself eat my maintenance level on those days (it's good to take a break). I wouldn't be worried about tomorrow at all if it weren't the second day in a row I go over my 1200 limit.

However, I will certainly do my best to do better than I did today (I capped out at 4400 calories for today). I'm going to try and keep the day under 1500 (maintenance).

Oh, and you know what's funny? I started off REALLY motivated to stick to my diet today, because I finally broke my plateau at 110 lbs and dropped to 108.5 this morning!!

I was so excited that I even wore a skimpy outfit so that my family would think I was totally pretty, and I was going to eat perfectly today and go jogging tonight. But getting all dressed up with nowhere to go sort of made me resent my weight loss because it caused me to get my hopes up. ;_;

Okay, sorry to drag this out. I know I can't stop whining, it's just nice to be able to cry to strangers sometimes. :P

Think about it logically....  If you ate a 'maintenance' amount every day of every week from now on.... what's that, about 1900-2000 a day?.... then you'd maintain your weight.   You'd certainly maintain it better than eating 4000 cals one day and 1200 cals the next....

Your family probably don't need to see you in a skimpy outfit in order to love you.  Family are usually the one group of people that you don't have to go out of your way to impress.... they know you 'warts and all'.  If you want to get dressed up and go somewhere, how about calling a friend and seeing if they'd like to join you?

At 110lbs your BMI is 20.8.... You're very slim.   Being slightly slimmer will make no difference to your appearance and it shouldn't, technically, make any difference to your confidence either.  Trying to lose more weight and consuming 1200 cals a day (obviously too low) is causing you to binge.  Maybe now would be a good time to say... 110lbs is a good weight and now I'm going to work on improving my confidence, finding other things to feel good about and setting some goals that don't revolve around the bathroom scales?

Hehe, you don't know my family. My cousin who isn't even 100 lbs soaking wet, her brand new husband from England who is appalled at all us fat Americans, my aunt who tells me to suck in my stomach and make my boobs smaller (how the hell would I even do that?), my dad who tells me I'm disgusting and he's no longer attracted to me, etc... They're a shallow, gossiping, nosy, obnoxious cluster of squawking hens. The whole lot of them. I was looking forward to impressing them for the first time in my pathetic excuse for a life.

And friends, well... Don't really have any of those. Like I said, I'm a shut-in.

This was supposed to be my "big debut" since losing my weight, that's probably why I'm taking it so hard. Oh well. I appreciate this little conversation, gi-jane, it really took the edge off, believe it or not. :)

(And you're right in general about 110 not being super huge, but for some reason, those last ten pounds are all in my belly!! It's so awful. My legs and arms are so thin, but then I have this huge pot belly; I look preggers! And when you're this short, 10 lbs of tummy-chub is REALLY noticeable, you know?)

I would just like to ask how tall or short you are exactly? unless you are a midget I am almost disturbed that you would think 110 pounds "isnt super huge" I think that is tiny! I think gi-jane is right, try not to focus on the scales. Maybe try a group activity or become involved in a community group/volunteer organisation instead? I have found actually getting out into the world and talking to people (even if it is just a chat to someone in the park) really helps confidence and motivation! And if your belly worries you so much then maybe try different activities to what you currently do? Try something fun and social, maybe horseriding? Thats my personal fave, it uses LOTS of different muscles and is a great way to make friends too :) Goodluck

Just had to share the last two days for me have been the worst two since I started this diet...life style change.  I have a TON going on in my personal life and the stress finally broke me.  This if the first time I gained two pds...because of not eating healthy and within the program.

It is very hard to spring back....I can relate, but you know the bottom line is who did I really hurt me!  Right now, in my life I am trying to improve myself in every aspect, and my eating style MUST match this to be successful.

In the moment, which we all have, we all need to stop and really think why am I doing this....eating binges only hurt ME more in the long run.

I hope this helps....yummy_kitty, what you did for your house....really you should be proud of yourself...I bet it looks great....FOR YOU! 

We all need to keep the focus it is about us, no one is going to be able to do this for us or make us happy....we have to start living and taking care of ourselves....not taking anger, depression,  stress out on our own bodies!

Keep chatting...it does help to know you are NEVER alone on this journey!

Original Post by yummy_kitty:

Thanks everyone, I did decide to eat something. I ended up melting some cheese on a piece of bread, because I'm a pig. *sigh*

gi-jane, I wish I had seen your post earlier. I actually do have some lentils in the house, and that would have been a smarter choice. I'm a vegetarian, so I dunno how I would have replaced the bacon though.

If you don't mind the taste of meat, you can boil a ham bone and still get the taste of meat broth without actually having meat in it.  Using a ham bone might still go against your vegetarianism, but it's a suggestion.

 I would say that tomorrow is a fresh start, but I have a big family lunch tomorrow and if my mood doesn't improve, I already know I will overeat. So wish me luck for a fresh start on Sunday instead.

It's so weird that I can have so much willpower 90% of the time, and then 10% of the time my self-control just vanishes. It's so black and white, never gray. I don't even feel like the same person sometimes.