BINGEING support group

Hi everyone.

I'm a very healthy eater from day to day. VERY healthy. And I'm quite proud of my diet and my will power. I eat whole grains, lean meats, fruits and vegetables and low fat dairy products. I also eat portions of nuts and drink lots of water.

But I have a problem. I'm in university, and tend to go out to the bars on the weekends every now and then. Now, I can deal with a night of drinking, because I can control how much I drink and I dont drink really hefty sugary drinks. My problem is my loss of will power to junk food when I drink. I eat so much... SO MUCH chocolate when I'm drunk! So much that sometimes I feel ill the next day, but of course, I get back on track and dont drop my calories the next day because I know it's unhealthy recoil.

After this rant, I propose creating this group to support and track / log how many days myself and any others interested in joining can go binge free. I still dont mind having small portions of chocolate throughout the day because they might be just 5g portions. I just want to be able to motivate myself to stay on track and not destroy my healthy diet every weekend.

So, I'm going to start out. Since I went all out last night, today is...

Days without bingeing: 1 (I know the whole day hasnt gone by, but I know I'll control it today haha)

Thanks! 

Original Post by yayasmommy:

I have trying really hard at getting back on the band wagon with my routine. I am proud to say ... days without binging 9

 

thats awesome! If I had the will power, would have been the same for me today as well. However, today marks the end of another "Day 1". yay?

I had a very stressful day yesterday. :-( Today is Day 1 again.

Everyone in this group is so inspirational. I always feel so alone during/after binges-- like I am the only one w/ so little willpower and so so much shame-- but it is so comforting to know others are right there with me. I share so many of your thoughts. I feel like I come up w/ a new excuse everyday-- I eat because im lonely, i eat because im bored, i eat because im on my period...etc etc etc. UGH. I have finally come to terms with the fact that my eating is emotional. I used to think I was secretly hungry or I didnt eat enough during the day, but thats just not it. Food has so much power over me and I dont think I go 2 minutes without thinking about it. Even when I am completely full, I am fighting myself in my head wondering if I will give in to the binge. I think it has gotten to the point that I am soo used to bingeing, that I can only stop eating if I am completely STUFFED. Its disgusting. I am ashamed and distraught by how much my life revolves around food. Recently, because I started a new job (still work out but much less), my body cant handle the binges as well as it used to. I used to eat very healthy and work out 1.5 hours a day, but then binge immensely at night-- although this was still a MAJOR problem and very upsetting, since I worked out so much, I remained slim. Now, I am battling the binges and have gained 10+ lbs in the past 6 months. It was so hard to try to stay motivated and on track BEFORE, and now im 10lbs heavier and its IMPOSSIBLE. I'm a mess.

Wow, I thought I was the only one who ate like this...

...I mean, seriously, how can hiding candy in my bedroom and consuming thousands and thousands of calories' worth during a binge not be embarrassing?    I feel like I don't have the strength to stop it...I just don't.  So hard!

Wow can I join this group?? I seriously have a really good diet...until the nightime...I hoard candy and food when no one is looking late at night and get completely out of control. Liora, I understand you completely...I can eat pretty much an enitre days worth of calories in candy and junk food.  Bonnie I completely hear you as well!  I think we can do it..I just need to find a new way to handle stress or something =(  This site has helped me to gain SOME control over my binges; like I binged last night, but I stopped myself before I went out of control: after eating really well all day I started feeling the binge come on when I ate 2 pieces of deep dish pizza for dinner.  After feeling guilty about that, I ate a cookie, a handful of jujubes, 3 chocolate covered pretzels, 1/6th of a doughnut etc.  Luckily I stopped myself with that, but - still - it is so hard!

 

So, days without binging: 1 (today)

So I made it 27 days without a binge.  Then I over did it on tortillas and popcorn.  Ew, my stomach hurt (although not the worst its ever been) from being full, and then all the salt.  I'd have to say its progress.  There's still work to be done though,

Days without 3.

Hello. Guess what I did today? I overate! :(. I don't know if it would constitute as a binge, but I definitely went over my maintenance limit for the day. I ate an apple, 2 squares of Gheridalli espresso escape dark chocolate, 1 quaker crisp bar, a Peppermint Stick Chocolate Luna Bar, 3 mini reeses eggs, 1 mini twix, 2-3 mini mint three musketeers, 3 kisses truffles, 1 cadbury fudge heart, and 1 dove dark chocolate bar. I didn't binge the last two days, but today I did. I think it had something to do with the fact that I didn't know exactly my calorie info on my lunch out today. It just messed me up. I also attempted at shopping today, and nothing fit me right. It just depressed me. It might have had something to do with the stomach ache I had though. Idk, I'm just a mess. gr, I just ate 3 more kisses truffles and a LifeSavers gummies bunnies & eggs thing. Uh, I shouldn't have bought my friend's Easter gifts so early because they are haunting me even though I shoved them under my bed.

Oh, kae1106, I totally feel for you!  This sounds like ME! But, if you've binged, you're probably bloated and it is definitely not a good time to try on clothes!

It's so discouraging, because I plan out meals really well, and ward off cravings all day with lots of water, veggies, healthy snacks, etc....but then, for instance, last night I came home and ate 1000 calories of chocolate in one sitting, and then contemplated going to the store to buy more!  Is it a comfort thing maybe?  I just don't get it!  UGH, I hate admitting this, but it's 9am and I'm already thinking about how I can stop at the grocery store and get candy on my way home from work, "just in case..."  Anyone else do this?  Then I hide it at home

It's so awesome to feel like there are other people like me and I'm not totally insane, but I also feel like there's this part of me that doesn't want to give up bingeing because it makes me feel so good...does that make sense? 

Original Post by liora513:

It's so awesome to feel like there are other people like me and I'm not totally insane, but I also feel like there's this part of me that doesn't want to give up bingeing because it makes me feel so good...does that make sense? 

YES! It's so weird....there is something about being able to just completely lose control and eat the most decadent food and just give in completely...and then it turns so horrible somewhere in between leaving you feeling like such a failure.  I swear, the first part of a binge feels just so good...but then about midway you feel such a weird mix of self-loathing and sensory pleasure that quickly becomes pure self loathing.  ugh. 

 

Well on that note, I didn't binge last night... So days without bingeing: 2  =)

creedy23, that's definitely how I feel a lot of the time! 

Okay, I need help; I have to stop at the grocery on the way home to get some veggies for the dinner casserole I'm making...and I'm already planning in my head what candy/chocolate I'll buy too -- it's like I'm planning to binge/sabotage myself...how do I not??

(: YAY! I had an amazingly spectacular day today. Ha, it was the best day I've had in a while. While most days, I only eat 1200 calories, I've decided to up it to 1800 because I'm still a growing teen and all. And I don't feel bad for eating 1800 calories because I swam for an hour and 15 minutes, walked for 30 minutes, lifted weights, and did calhestenics. I created a wonderful deficit for myself. YAY (:

Days without binging: 1

UGH!  I could just slap myself!

Yesterday I planned everything out REALLY well, and was doing absolutely awesome until about 9:15 rolled around...and then I ate 900 calories' worth of M&Ms in front of the TV in bed!  I know that's not a huge binge or anything, but I definitely went over maintenance, and this sort of behavior is a regular occurance for me... and an added 100-300 cals a day over maintenance will end up making a big difference in the long run!  HELP!!  I literally have NO CLUE what to do :(

 

kae1106, it sounds like you did great!  1800 sounds perfectly reasonable for what your stats and exercise are (though I'm no expert on teen nutrition or anything).  Congrats! 

S*$#!!  I just plugged it in, and it was 1200 calories of M&Ms!  2500 for yesterday, even though I'm burning more like 1800.  What is wrong with me?!  :( :( :(

Back to Day 1 without bingeing. Last night I had a large rice dinner, then ate a whole bar of dark chocolate, and had two cups of hot chocolate to make myself feel better about certain problems in my life right now.

It would've gone over my daily allowance by about 300 calories. I've decided to log them today as I ate them after 12AM. Does anyone else do this?

I feel like I've been losing control of what I'm eating lately and can't seem to motivate myself to continue because I feel so down at the moment. Plus I put 4 pounds :(

Sorry i havent been able to update for a while.

Welcome to everyone else who has joined in! Im glad that youre able to all relate here, and I think we can do a fantastic job of really motivating and inspiring each other to keep on track, not matter how frustrating and how difficult your situation may be.

Kae - I hear you. Im actually on the same boat now. I used to seriously binghe, and now Im back down to overeating maybe once or twice a week, but I still log it as a binge, because I hate going over maintenance. Also, eating or nearer to maintenance is FANTASTIC (I just try not to go over it haha). I find when you do that there's less of a tendency to think about the crappy foods that drive us to bingeing. And it even better when you work out:) boosts the mood and adds the deficit!

today will hopefully be day 5 without bingeing!

hello everyone (: I had another great day. I don't have as high a deficit as I did yesterday, but it's still a good one. I also ate 1800 calories again today. woo hooo.

Oh, and I bought all this candy for my friend's easter gifts, and I didn't eat one bite! I put them in their little eggs, then in the boxes, and taped them up. I still have leftover candy that is in the fridge, but I don't have an urge to eat any since I already had a square of Lindt 85% dark chocolate. I find my urge to eat chocolate isn't as much if I allow myself to eat one square a day. We'll see how that works out. (:

Days without binge: 2

Bonnie40, I'm right there with you. I couldn't write it better myself...I know EXACTLY how you feel.

Two nights ago I had what I hope will be my final B/P. (It's bulimia for me, not just bingeing. Off and on since I was 19. I'm 35 now.) I'm so ashamed of this I can't even admit it to my own husband. It seems like whenever I get some time alone (which is rarely - we have a very small apt and share the same schedule), I revert back to my old habits. Then I stop for a few weeks...then I start again. Over & over. I've been to therapy, to OA meetings, to God...I've read every book out there, done everything I can think of...but the evil beast is still here.

Thank you to Alex for starting this strand...thank you to everyone for sharing your experiences.  Bulimia is so isolating...it's comforting to know that I'm not the only one trying to cope with this.

This may be un-PC to mention, but I'll be praying for all of us. 

Days without bingeing: 2

Oh, I forgot to add - CONGRATS to all who are staying binge-free! Woo-hoo!!!

I never was a binger. I think that I may be turning into one. I ate normally today and then this evening I went to a bar with a few friends and when I got home I couldn't stop eating! I tried to stick to around 1500 calories a day, but I had some popcorn when I got home, then some cereal, and then another bowl....and then some spoonfuls of ice cream. Now I feel horrible and antsy, and I don't know what to do.

DAY ONE yesterday ...  I had a handful of M&Ms when I got home (about 150 cals), then immediately got into the shower, and stayed away from them all night!  Ate a healthy dinner, and went to sleep (though I did have some tylenol PM for a headache, so it also probably helped me fall asleep).  I was, however, STARVING when I got in bed and tried to sleep, and then STARVING when I woke up this morning -- probably because my usual binge times are at night, in bed?  Anyone deal with this problem too, and how have you dealt with it?

Okay, trying to stay motivated, but it being the weekend and all...it's gonna be tough!!

 

danasings, I'm sorry to hear you've had problems with bingeing and purging.  The horrible bingeing is the most shameful aspect for me.   I hope that you can find support here!