~~Bingers Anonymous~~

Welcome to BA. My name is Nicole and I'm a binger.

i decided that it could be helpful to have a forum for those of us trying to recover from this evil thing called binge eating disorder (BED). Whenever you have success... post here! Whenever you have struggles... post here! need support to stay out of the cookie jar?.... post here!

i'll be posting my intake of calories everyday in hopes that showing all of you what i eat will keep me from OVER EATING.

anyone with the same struggles??

My name is Trish, and I AM  a binger.

Wow - I am 35 years old and its taken me this long to say that out loud!
Thank You CC and Nicole!

WOW - I just read thru the Mayo clinic info on binge eating... yup, thats ME!

Now I am aware, I will be more cognizant of what I am doing! I love this site!
I was an avid Weight Watchers online user, and in fact, lost 70 lbs that way (gained it all back after birth of my son). The problem I had with WW is that:

1. Expensive
2. Expensive
3. Expensive
4. allows you to make unhealth choices as long as its within your "pts" range. DANGER DANGER DANGER for a binge eater.

I just resisted a BIG binge and I'm so proud I could pop!!!   I dont' know what my problem was today but after almost two months of binge free living, I felt tired, depressed, and cranky and I was to that stage where you say "Oh what the hell!" I was so close to going to the store. I was going to buy a bag of chips, a large bag of M&Ms, some cake, and some coke....but  I didn't!! Instead, I told myself to eat a little something from home first and wait a half hour and if I still felt like I needed to binge on junk, then I'd let myself do it.   So I took one small piece of essene bread and toasted it, sprinkled it with a little olive oil and vinegar and made myself eat that slowly. Then I still wanted more, so I had a cup of strawberries and sprinkled a little xylitol on top and ate those slowly. By the time I was done with the strawberries, my urge to binge was completely gone and the whole thing was under 200cals!!! I am more convinced than ever that there is a nutritional component to binging. The urge was almost irresistable...sort of a deep deep need to eat and I was already putting the phone on silent because I didn't want anyone to call and interupt my planned binge.

This is so hard to admit, but I've actually pretended I was not home before when someone knocked on the door during one of my binges...I feel like a crazed alcoholic trying to eat as much as I can in secret so no one will find out. Then I eat lightly in public so people don't think I'm greedy.  It's absolutely nuts!

But the small day to day triumphs really really count. Hang in there everyone!

Good for you Jenniferger!!! You must feel so good about yourself right now! :-)  I agree that at be very base of my binges there is some nutritional need buried. I must admit once I get started it's just plain ole bad habit that lets me continue.

I must confess I crashed and burnt last night. *hangs head in shame* I think I'd been too low on my calories for a couple weeks (I'm new at this and learning) and last night I ate 1700 calories of pure JUNK. (on top of my 1450 good calorie, well planned out day) Chips, cookies, chocolate, peanut butter... I had it ALL, in about 30 minutes! Today I'm not hungry, eating as I should and adding HEALTHY calories to my daily diet.

I'm gonna keep your strategy in mind and the next time I feel it coming on (it was three days of building up until I finally succumbed to the urge) I am going to EAT HEALTHY until it passes. Thanks for the tip!

I have heard in the past that if you are craving something, that you need some nutritional component in it and that if something sounds distasteful to you, then you shouldn't eat it.

I think this is true to a point. I think that, as bingers, our brain is skewed in this thinking and that, until we completely retrain it. Which, may never happen, we won't be able to follow those urges and cravings like other people.

checking in today & reading all your post.  i especially like the "knitting" analogy also.

trishiek - welcome.  you have conquered great feats simply by saying outloud what you just did.

united - i love your post, feel like i've known you forever.  sounds kind of weird, but......

jenniferger - feel proud, pat yourself on the back.

for me, i still make lots of mistakes.  but i don't eat anything like i used to.  i think by talking this out, realizing our mistakes, we have already conquered great things.  just think how often you've craved something & somehow managed to deflect those feelings, & put it off for a day, or week, but all the same put it off!  one baby step at a time!  the more good choices we make, the more good choices we will make.  one day that "monster" will be hung in the closet for good.

hold hands ~ be strong, for you.

Hey............

I binged tonight......................it really stinks. My stomach doesn't hurt, and I'm tempted to keep eating because that's when I feel satisfaction: when I can't possibly eat another bite. I probably ate 2800-3000 calories today. It's been really really hard. I'm disappointed in myself (again).

I'm tired of being disappointed. :( SIGH. Well, let's be honest about the unplanned items:

• two shots at dinner
• bread and butter
• the rest of my friend's cheesecake

Then we came home:

• 2? 3? Mallomars
• 4 pieces of Godiva chocolate
• 2 bowls of cereal
• 2 bowls of ice cream with sprinkles and coconut on top
• 6-8 cups of buttered popcorn with powdered sugar on top (it's weird, but good)
• 2 Trader Joe's chocolate-covered raspberry sticks
• 2 rice cakes with peanut butter on top

I really, really want to be a wimp and lie in bed and cry about this and say, "I have no control over this!!!!!!! I can't do it!!!!!! I'm fat! Ugly!" But I'm not. I'm not any of those things. There's so much more to me than how I eat, and I need to get past this.

But for now......bed calls...........

Lizzle, do not beat yourself up because it will only encourage the binging cycle.  You need to be gentle with yourself.  If you are so hard on yourself it becomes easier to hurt yourself with food.  If one of your friends came to you and said she was having this problem, would you tell her she was stubid and horrible?  Would you say any of the stuff to her you are saying to yourself?  You wouldn't.  You need to be your own friend and allow yourself to fall then pick yourself up and shake it off.  Give yourself a hug, tell yourself that you love you and try it again. 

Tomorrow will be my month.  I have to say this was the easiest week so far.  Binging feels really far away right now.  I know it can come back at anytime.  I feel that I have the habit under control.  The cravings for my binge foods are gone now.   It doesn't sound appealing anymore (for now).   I think for me it was such a hidden thing that when I brought it out in the open, I had to stop.  It was my ugly secret.  I am a really together person and fairly succesful so it is this part of me that I've hidden and my friends, clients, family and boyfriend just didn't know.  When I started opening up and talking about it, I found a lot of support and it has helped.  I have fears of having a relapse and having to tell people.  I know I will binge again, but as of now, it is very unappealing.  If you can get through the 1st week I think it becaomes easier.

I had a pretty crappy weekend too.
It is amazing what a little self-talk can do when you find yourself completely helpless with what you're doing with food in front of you. Just say STOP. Think to yourself how horrible you will feel after it's all done; because it's only TEMPORARY SATISFACTION. And walk away. Just walk...away...from...the...food.

Just try it. No worries. And don't ever forget how far you've come and how well you DO eat on average. Not even a handful of days in the year of junk-loading will place you back at the position you were at when you started this journey.

:)

I had a slight hiccup this weekend too, when someone came over with two bags of chips. Let's just say that I consumed most of those chips. But you know what? It's the first time in a long time, and I felt like I was making a conscious decision to blow it. It was weird. As I gobbled the chips I could see myself and how unappealing food addiction really is. I messed up...but the thing is, I don't think we should feel like we're "starting all over again" when we fall off the wagon...just continue on, because it's a process. And you know?  I felt really physically crappy after that binge...cranky, tired, depressed, almost drunk-- kind of dizzy- stomach upset....and I am just fully realizing how much better I feel on my healthier eating plan than I did back when I had absolutely no control at all. Even a smallish binge on junk is harder to handle now.  I hope everyone else had a good weekend and that we all forgive ourselves for our errors and just keep going. This is beatable...I'm sure of it now.

Guys, I realyl need some motivation.  For the last 3 months, I haven't lost any weight.  If anything, I gained.  Because of my binging, I gained 3 pounds in the last 2 weeks.  AND I RUN CROSS COUNTRY!  I'm feeling dejected and beaten.  I don't feel motivated to diet and exercise anymore.  Mostly, I don't even care that I eat junk food or overeat.  I will openly admit it.  It's gotten to the point where it's pathetic really.  This week is the last week of my cross country season so I will no longer have an excuse to overeat and binge.  I hate saying to myself every day/week "Tomorrow, I will restart my diet."  It's not even a diet anymore!  It's gotten so out of hand.  I start out the day really good, eating healthy and moderate.  But after school I get home and I just.. well, eat.  It's the same old story, told a million times.  I sure everyone's heard it.

Please, some motivation to keep me going, at least through tomorrow, and hopefully through the week.  I need to gain the self control back that I lost somewhere between the pound cake and peanut butter

Good afternoon all. I am here. I ate too much rich food this weekend because I was at my parents house where I didn't have to cook. The yay happy news about this is that I also was able to say; I am full, I don't want any more food and I would prefer to not have a root beer float thanks. So, even though I ate too much junk and didn't get nearly enough water, I still feel pretty good.

kayque - Maybe you should pick one or two habits and try to change them first and gradually change more and more. Remember this isn't really a diet, it's a way of eating better for your whole life.

hi guys. Had a huge set back this weekend. I was going strong last week. Then BAM!!!! I lost 6 pounds in two weeks.....I was feeling good, and then I guess I let all that get to my head. Sunday, I made my kids halloween cookies, and I kept telling myself.......I was setting myself up for it.........I'm not going to get into them. I will have 2 and only 2.... 180 calories for 2 of them. But the more I thought about them sitting on the counter, and the more I tried to distract myself with doing the laundry, and packing the kids lunch and picking up the house......they were calling me. I ate about 10 of those cookies before the end of the day.  TEN OF THEM!!!!! Today was my day to weigh in.......I bypassed the scale. I was too depressed. I got back on track today. So 1 day down....no binge. uuuuggghhh!!!

I have become so out of control in my eating its insane. for a whilei tried to eat healthy but that didnt work so i starved myself for a few days..but then i just ate like everything in sight..felt bad and purged. i know thats realy bad and really out of control but i dont know what to do and how to stop all this becuz i cant stop bingeing and purging up to 3 or 4 times a day! and i have been doing that for like a week and ive been trying to stop purging and bingeing but i dont know how! and i run cross country too! help!

i need to be honest about my binges too.... i get to the point where i stop logging them b/c even i don't want to see it. maybe if i force myself to post my intake here i'll be more inclined to not binge! so.... today wasn't a great day. here it goes

* 4 cups of kashi golean crunch

* 1/2 c of vanilla ice cream w/ chocolate chips

* about 150 skittles

* about 20 hot tamales

* 1 huge apple

* 2 pieces of bread

so.... do you see any real meals in that?? yeah, me neither. that was my total intake for the day. it was 2,060 calories. not as many as the past million days! lol. tomorrow will be better. just watch.

Binged again yesterday.  Got busy and didn't plan meals so didn't eat all day.  It's TTOM.  Got home and decided to have a snack.  It turned out to be half a bag of chips with half a container of dip followed by a little bit of everything in the house that wasn't nailed down!

Yuck.  I have got to get it back together!  Here I am preaching at hubby to control his eating habits and eat healthy, etc. and I am laid up in the bed with my face stuck in a bag of chips!  TTOM is no excuse.  That just means I have to be extra diligent, not use it as an excuse to become a human vacuum cleaner!  I hope after the Dr. appointment tomorrow it will get better.

I definitely am a binger and I know that my husband doesn't understand... when we have a half gallon of ice cream at night, but in the morning it's gone... or when we have a bag of chips an then they just disappear, or a carton of cookies. 

I'm a senior in college and am struggling to overcome bulimia.  I've only truly been struggling with it for about a year and   I've fortunately stopped purging, but I still have occasional binges that send me over the edge, making me feel depressed and horrible about myself.  I know I need to gain weight, but I'm so scared of doing it the unhealthy way.  My normal binge is on grapes or apples, low-fat cottage cheese or Light 'n Fit yogurt, but today I had too much ice cream, and last week it was trail mix...that dreadful sweet & salty kind with the m&m's.  I'm hoping joining this forum will give me some perspective into what's really important...MY HEALTH!  I'm going to keep a log of what I've eaten so far today:

B:

1 bowl of instant oatmeal
1 egg white
1 apple
6 Kashi crackers

L:

two pieces of whole wheat bread with hummus
1 small salad with kidney & garbanzo beans
2 cups of grapes

...this is when it got bad...AHH!:

19 pieces of candy corn
2 cups of Heath bar ice cream

D:
2 whole wheat tortillas with ground turkey, tomatoes, lettuce
1 apple

any help would be greatly appreciated!