~~Bingers Anonymous~~

Welcome to BA. My name is Nicole and I'm a binger.

i decided that it could be helpful to have a forum for those of us trying to recover from this evil thing called binge eating disorder (BED). Whenever you have success... post here! Whenever you have struggles... post here! need support to stay out of the cookie jar?.... post here!

i'll be posting my intake of calories everyday in hopes that showing all of you what i eat will keep me from OVER EATING.

anyone with the same struggles??

~ waves hello to all our new {{{friends}}} ~ welcome!

{{{singletear}}}

what did you do the last time you stopped?  did you make a plan? distract yourself? journal? stop counting calories or trying to do anything that seems like a diet?

you can do this... but instead of trying so hard to stop... what can you do that is better? 

design a lifestyle and meal plan that you would enjoy...  the foods you would like...  then get those foods in the house and follow the meal plan?

are you really upset or stressed over something in life right now?  will that stress end?  what can you do to fix it?  make it better?  cuz we know food doesn't, right?  sometimes we just have to deal with icky stuff.... and sometimes we have to deal with stuff we don't like to do because they are chores or work or whatever?

you can't fix everything in a day... but you can break it down into smaller steps and start practicing... take on 1 or 2 things a week and focus...   choose something that is what you want to change come heck or high water and then focus on that for 1 week...

well, these are some of the things that help me... and making a big pot of veggie soup for extra snacks... warm, soothing and low cal... easy to do... broth and any non-starchy veggies you want, spiced to taste...  toss in a few other things for the fun like a few colored curly noodles, some barley, maybe some black beans or kidney beans... or my 1 of my favs... butter beans... but not all of them... just 1 or 2... ;)  here's my soupmaking link...

http://www.calorie-count.com/forums/post/2954 .html

have you tried egg whites with salsa on toast for breakfast?

sometimes i have to change the types of food i eat too... and go for spicy!  variety... spice... zest!

eating well should not be a punishment ~ it should be an adventure :) 

Hi Jules!

I have no idea what I did last time... I think it was because school ended and I really had time to focus on my eating habits...a nd of course there were no tests or projects to keep me stresses, so I didn't turn to food that much.

I'm not liking the way I live right now. I look in the mirror and all I feel is hate, disgust and loathing. I tell my parents this... but they don't really comprehend how much this is affecting me. They think if I just eat what I want, then I'll eventually get better... it's not going to happen.

Some days I can be so good - i eat healthy and i exercise... and then some days I can be SOOOO horridly bad. It's like my life is "all or nothing."

argh.

thanks for the support!!!! It's really needed right now.

How do you conquer your binge monster Jules?

I've been so bad today.

I mean if you look at my Nutrition Report for today it says
Grade A, calories: 2,376

Since I started counting calories, I log in an average of 2,000 calories/day anyway, so you going to say -- this doesn't look so bad. But it was all in one meal! oooooo, my stomach hurts. I just ate and ate and ate. It wasn't like I shoveled food in quickly, but it was over a period of 3 hours. I eat one thing then I get something else. And it wasn't cake I was eating, I have cleared my house of all that kinds of food but... first I had a little bit of peanut butter, than a little bit of sugar-free halva, then a little bit of turkey bacon, then a little bit of canadian bacon, then I moved on to a little bit of mac and cheese and italian meatballs, then mozarella cheese.... omg, I just kept sampling a little bit of this and that, now I feel like a blimp about to explode!

I have been so good this last month, eating well, exercising and I keep telling myself I was "due" for one of my episodes, but that's hogwash, no one should be due for those... Maybe I was getting overconfident in my ability to control my bingeing. I've over-eaten since I was a little girl, surely one-month of self control does not recovery make.

I feel like crying.

(((BIG SQUISHY HUGS))) I posted a comment in your journal Julia:)

wow, if i knew how to conquer this ~ i would bottle it or i'd pull out my magic wand and we would all be better right now!!!

but that doesn't mean that we can't get better and overcome these problems and eating patterns!

{{{singletear}}} I think you have a key right there in what you posted... you are under stress with exams and papers and that is really normal to want to eat when we are anxious and stressed out about that!  So...  the 2 days before mid-terms is not the time to fix anything.  that is when you need to cope.  so what would be some good coping things for you to do? 

i have a couple of ideas... get some low calorie and healthy snacks in to munch on while you are under stress... like the 94% fat free popcorn... 5 cups = 100 cals...  fresh cut veggies... 2 cups = 100 cals or less... then make a dip of like fat free sour cream and salsa or cottage cheese and salsa blended together for a dip.... or 2 cups of hot warm veggie soup = 100 cals.  These will help to fill you up and soothe you so you can go ahead and settle down and study, which is a big deal while you are in school.

next... set an alarm for every 45 mins of study.  then get up and move around ~ maybe run around the building or the block to get your energy flowing, dance to some fav music, do some calisthentics or an exercise dvd to get your blood flowing.... go to the bathroom, drink some water and get your snack and sit back down and study for another 45 mins...

very important is you.  you are beautiful.  you are not bad... food is not bad...  it's just that too little and we starve, too much and we gain weight.  either thing will hurt us physically, so, let's try to figure out how to stop hurting ourselves, ok?

another thing... do you ask yourself what time it is when you get the urge to eat?  is it time to have a snack or meal?  or are you just upset or stressed out?  if you're upset/stressed, food won't fix that... maybe coming here and journaling for a few minutes, getting some exercise, watching a bit of laff tv, talking on the phone with a friend???  something that gives your mind and heart and soul a little bit of joy and happiness.... pamper yourself for a few minutes....

i just know that you can do this... we all can!

{{{basementgirl}}}  u too!  points ^ up to what i just wrote for singletear...   now, don't be too hard on yourself!  we all fall on our tukus and dust the floor with our rumps!  It's part of the learning process, like learning to walk...  so, let's try again, k?  c'mon! 

holds out hand for friends.... to get up and walk again... :)

hope this helps {{{friends}}}!  The thing that has given me the most hope is sharing these struggles here with other friends!  Isn't it nice to know we aren't alone... people really do understand???

{{{hugs~n~cheers}}} jules :)

basementgirl: I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. A lot of the time, I'm not binging on chocolate but whatever's in my house. I remember a time when I just ate bowls and bowls of brown rice with just soy sauce poured onto it. I mean, it wasn't even all that good after the second bowl... but somehow I just couldn't stop.

If you feel like crying... then just cry. Let it all out. I just had a VERY hard and long cry myself, and although I don't feel "refreshed" and "better", at least I don't have pent up emotions inside of me that just eats me from the inside out. It's now just a dull pain. So cry when you need to. There is no shame in tears.

psst... crying is good. and pretty darn normal.

in fact... part of struggling with this is feeling like a failure and beating ourselves up... and hating ourselves because we are failures, fat and ugly and disgusting... you know what i mean?

but really, we aren't.

that is our brains lying to us... and we have to talk back to the stinking thinking...  we need to decide that we are ok... we just need to learn how to do better.  and we can.  and we can do that together. here. 

and it's ok when we have a bad day.  and it's ok to feel bad. and it's ok to cry.

but then we need to get up and try again. 

otherwise, what's the point?

do you want to live?  do you want to enjoy the sunsets?  the furbabies?  the kidlets and the laffter with people we love?

~ waves hand...

well then, grab mine & c'mon...  let's walk together...

pulls out big stack of pink kleenix, and some pretty embroidered hankies just to oo & ah over ;)

{{{hugs y'all}}}

It's good to cry, whether you're male, female.. whatever! (i'll let you in on a secret.. my hubby - who tries to act the tough man - even cries watching Finding Nemo, and he's not ashamed - so it can't be bad :) )

Crying is good for the body, something to do with hormones and releasing or something... it's 5am almost i can't remember...

I am ok now, just frustrated, and the emotion I feel the strongest I guess is regret. But I refuse to make this day a total loss. And since I am not sleepy, I am dusting off my yoga mat (just pulled it out of the closet where it fossilized for the last 5 years). I'm finally going to exercise at home. FitTV here I come!

Thank you soooo much everyone for the support. You guys are the best!!

singletear {{{{hugs}}}}} hope you feel better. We'll try to do better tomorrow, like Jules said -- Together!

hi
whenever I'm losing weight (and I already lost 10 kilos) and really believing I won these BED thing it strikes again
I know I don't deal well with feelings, I know I use and abuse food for so many things:angry, happy , upset
but how can I manage not to  do so?
I feel like an addict when I'm looking all around the house for chocolat or so
I'm so tired of this and somehow I know today I'm gonna binge again
help please

Hi, amim, I am sorry you are feeling down.
I am hardly an expert, I was looking for help last nite! I know how you feel, there are days like this when I feel like a food zombie, so out of control it scares and saddens me.
{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}

Don't be discouraged! And don't give up! As I said I can hardly offer advice, being a struggling newbie myself, but let me refer you to someone who has really good info and advice for those of us struggling with BED -- if you scroll up and see a few entries above you a user name "united2gether" and click on her name, it would take you to her profile. She has great links to articles that have helped me when I needed to get a perspective.

(J, I hope you don't mind -- I know you don't, you help everyone)

But congratulations on losing so much already!! That's a lot of weight and you should be proud of your accomplishment. I know you've worked really hard on losing so much and the last thing you want is to see all that hard work go to waste, right? otherwise you wouldn't have posted...

I leave you with something I have copied from my other friend and those affirmations have also helped me tremendously. Cheer up, we are here for you!

Some Things I Wish To Remember:
Courtesy of christinak74

1. Be Patient with Yourself!
Making positive lifestyle changes takes time and practice. So, if you slip up one day, don't be discouraged! You can learn from it and get back on track the next day. Don't forget to reward your progress!

2. Nobody's Perfect!
Dieting is hard work. Be prepared for occasional setbacks.

3. Think Food Through!
When you crave a fattening food, visualize your feelings after you've eaten it and focus on the fact that it isn't worth the remorse you'll feel.

4. Face Yourself!
Attach a mirror to the front of the refrigerator and another on the pantry. Actually facing yourself may keep you from snacking. And don't forget to smile and tell yourself... You can do this!!

5. Set Goals!!
Setting positive, realistic goals will help you stay committed and keep you on track.

6. Remember, It Takes Time!
Changing old habits is never easy! It won't happen overnight. And remember, those extra pounds didn't appear overnight and they won't disappear overnight. Stay positive, focus on your goals, and if you do happen to slip up, don't get discouraged. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start again the next day.

7. YOU CAN DO IT!!!
Look yourself in the mirror every morning and say, you can do this! You are going to have a good day. :)

I'm a binger also.  In fact, I am on-line now as I cannot top myself from eating.  I just came back from a lunch in which I stuffed myself until I couldn't suck in my stomach anymore then I come back and I can't stop myself from putting candy in my mouth.  I am not even enjoying the taste of the candy anymore.  Anyone have any tips?  This needs to stop for my sanity sake.

I hate this binge monster that just wont go away no matter how hard I try. I can feel my clothes getting tighter and I just hate it. :(

Reading all your posts makes me feel so much better, because at least we can all feel comforted by the fact that we aren't the only ones that feel like this.

I am a terrible binger, i know why i do it, and what sets it off, but it still doesn't stop me from doing it. It is like something takes over my body and i can't think about anything but eating as much as i possibly can. Ive tried drinking water, having healthy snacks but i always some how manage to find something that i can eat loads of, why can't i just stop at one bowl of cereal? or two slices of bread?

Well today at least han't been as bad, after about a week of very bad bingeing i have tried to make a conscious decision not to binge, but i am struggling...i started on a box of cereal earlier, but managed to stop myself before it got to out of control. It is just to difficult..

This really is comforting to read the posts of ppl in very similar, yet different situations.  Funny how one ED can have so many different ways of manifesting itself.  I've noticed several ppl having been anorexic previously, then turning to bulimia and/or binge eating, which is what I had done as well.  

In high school I was anorexic and a compulsive over-exerciser.  I looked horrid.  Then, I went to college, gained weight purposefully, and seemed to get better.  The ED had all but disappeared until I had my first heart-break ever.... 

I had cooked my b.f. a dinner that he never showed up for, and after he called to break up with me, I began crying my eyes out, and without thinking, took a few bites from one of the dishes.  In that moment I had created a new eating disorder:  I finished nearly the entire meal (probably 5 courses twice over) and was truly hurting physically and mentally.  I was used to small meals all my life, so my stomach was in so much distress I thought I'd have to go to the hospital... until I thought to throw it up. 

From then on, I had become mostly a binger, and occasionally a purger as well.  I had always exercised a lot, so my weight never got out of control, but to me I looked terrible with the "vanity pounds." 

It has been a terrible cycle of that for many years now and has gotten in the way of my entire life.  It seems to have consumed me somewhere down the line, to where I cannot function normally.  If I want to binge, I binge... but then I get completely hung up on getting better and not letting ppl see me until I at least look better.  Obviously, any kind of job or schooling is near impossible.  

Has anyone had this kind of experience (as in the ED getting so much in the way of life that you find it hard to function)?   

yes. I feel like when i binge i want to stay inside or work off the pounds i just gained. I have become so depressed lately. When i bingew i cannot sleep at night. All i do is feel like crap becuase of the binging. I see a therapist but i think i really need more help i just dont know where to get it.

I just binged and I just hate myself so much-when this happens all i want to do is curl up and never ever wake up again. Its like there are 2 people inside of me,1 normal side and this other demon. I just want to be normal again.

Hello everybody. Didn't really expect to find this thread.  I'm so happy I found it.  I just started on CC, and I'm finding it really helpful.  Three days ago, I broke down in tears because I hated myself for the bingeing.  I have no idea how many calories I ate that day, too ashamed to count.  I found this site the next day.  I'm doing really well counting my calories these past few days, but it's so hard not to eat the kids' snacks.  It's so easy to say don't buy that stuff, but when you've got to fix lunches, you have to buy something.  And no matter how you watch portions, if you eat 5 of them, the portion size is out the window.  Looking forward to the support in here.

I'm also really glad to have found this thread. I started bingeing a few months ago, after an unhealthy bout with starvation and deprivation. The cycle of starvation/ deprivation, then bingeing, over-exercising to compensate, starvation, bingeing.....just seems to continue and spiral downward.

In the past few weeks, I've been bingeing alot. I often consume 2500+ in less than an hour usually late at night. I tell myself tomorrow will be a new binge-free day, but it usually isn't. Today was my first binge-free day in over two weeks! I hope to keep it this way. I'm here to offer support to anyone who has a similar problem...it's too difficult to combat alone. 

Why cant I just stop binging? I feel that my life would be normal again if I could...Why why why? I hate it so much. Just finished one now-I cant cope.