~~Bingers Anonymous~~

Welcome to BA. My name is Nicole and I'm a binger.

i decided that it could be helpful to have a forum for those of us trying to recover from this evil thing called binge eating disorder (BED). Whenever you have success... post here! Whenever you have struggles... post here! need support to stay out of the cookie jar?.... post here!

i'll be posting my intake of calories everyday in hopes that showing all of you what i eat will keep me from OVER EATING.

anyone with the same struggles??

Just wanted to say that I've gone three weeks without binging! :)  I've had plenty of opportunity to, but I seem to have gotten much better at controlling myself around food, which is a relief.  I think eating more for breakfast and throughout the day has helped keep me from binging at night.

well hello, i'm alex. reading some of these posts has calmed me in a few ways, and made me feel a lot better, knowing how there's others who go through the same kind of thing. i have a pretty healthy lifestyle with lots of vegetables, fruit, tea (no coffee), rice (brown, not white), and no fried things. but this year i moved to this new appartment, and have felt more and more isolated, and i get into these crazy out of control binges. if i'm out, then ill start roaming the city like a madman, looking for the place where i can "best" satisfy my craving and get a big portion of somehting, noodles, a sandwich, pizza or something....and then even after that, i'll keep roaming, looking for a good flapjack or pastry to 'finish it off'.
and then if i'm at home, ill just basically take out all the crap that has the strongest flavor, hummous, pickles, avocado, spaghetti hoops, cheese (always loooots of cheese), and make toast and munch it all down. theres no order to it. ill just open it up and chow it down. and that, of course, will usually be in addition to a normal meal which i've just finished.
i totally agree with what joanne said. once you feel like you've blown it, with a bowl of ice cream for example, you just say ''screw it'' and give yourself license to just keep eating. and then one little (forgivable) indulgence turns into a completely out-of-control binge.
i had one tonight. an hour and a half after a good chinese takeaway dinner, procrastinating on my paper, i went in to the kitchen, finished off a new tub of hummus, half an avocado, left over bowl of stir-fry, (this was the "screw it" point), then since i knew i was in binge mode, WENT OUT and bought a cadbury's chocolate filled chocolate muffin, had a rice cake and two french fancy cakes.
i just can't stop the urge to keep eating. and it gets the better of me. this week has been the worst. and it needs to stop. i know exactly what i'm doing to myself, and yet feeling so alone and away from my friends and family gives me no immediate motivation to get a hold of this problem. it actually makes me want to be as self-destructive as possible.
No good!

i've had a very bad day today. i can't even remember everything i've eaten. i don't even know why i did it either. i got to that "screw it" point tonight after binging earlier today and had a ton of food tonight: a hamburger, a hotdog, an italian sausage, salad, cookies, a small slice of chocolate cake. i feel so bloated and disgusting. i honestly feel like i've gained 50 pounds. i plan to work out tomorrow morning though. i did so good yesterday after messing up friday night and then i just screwed it up today. here's to hoping for a good week this week.

I just found/joined this site.  I'm so happy to see some people posting stuff that i literally could have posted word for word so accurately does it describe my experience.  I binged today already, and i'm posting to try and stop myself from eating another brownie.  Hopefully I can post tomorrow saying that i've gone a whole day without bingeing...i wish this didn't have to be so hard.

hey everyone- I am Elli and I am 21, 5'8'' and.. well last time i weight in i was like 153. My goal is 140.. and I have struggled with eating issues for ...approx 6 years now. it started in high school and is kind of just dragging on. started out as extremely restricive eating...absolutely no fat (not even a piece of bread because God knows there is 1 gram of fat) yea... it was really bad. So at that point I was down to 115... sickly skinny and everyone told me that I need to eat more and it just never clicked.. I didn't even feel like I was skinny I think it was just my way of coping with my parents divorce.   Next step was the binging. I ate and ate and ate all of the foods that I didn't allow myself to eat for such a long time. The binges got worse and I started to pack on the pounds on in 5 lb increments. It was unreal and I couldn't do anything to stop it. All I wanted to do was eat.. eat away all of the problems. Eat if you are sad, happy, scared, excited.. you name it and i was eating. oh by the way I should mention that I never purged.. was too scared for that. The binging led to extreme exercising, we are talking 2-3 hours on the treadmill- it sucked so bad. so now ... 21 years old..graduating college things are starting to finally come together. looking back on my diary I don't see many binges for the last year but they just started up again like a month ago. i binged probably for 2 weeks and as of last Tuesday i am back to normal again. I just don't know what to do when i get into binge mode and i have absolutely no one who i can talk to because it is all foreign to them. None of my friends or family understand how someone could use food to control emotions. SOOOO im totally rattling on and on but i just thought i would release some pent-up emotions. feel free to share your story or whatever you are comfortable discussing. It's always nice to hear other ppl's stories. I am on day 7 of being binge free. maybe some of this extra flab will disappear??? who knows- haha. I hope you all have a great week! :)

today i weigh 152... starting on the right path!

what can i do if i ate really really badly for the past 2 days and I don't have time to work out tomorrow?

ugh :( i wish i was allerigic to potato chips and ice cream

ironically, i'm allergic to a lot of types of fruit!

hi everyone...I am new on here.  I found this thread and joined, because it seems like everyone is pretty great on here with support.   I can't stop binging and I have a serious disorder.  Keeps getting worse and I thought all you guys would help, since seems like we all have similar problems.

I'm 5'2 and about 135 pounds (trying to break the weighing addiction)

For the past week I have binged on 6-7 thousand calories per day.  This is normal for me. 

I need help.  And I am ready to get serious.  I am not looking for another diet plan, because they dont work and they make things worse.  I am looking for support, and weight loss, without obsessing and dieting.  I have been anorexic and bulimic. Just now I have severe binge eating and cannot stop, for the past 3 years, which is how I have gained 30 pounds.  I am looking to get to 105-110 again (I have a tiny frame).  By september.  I am a grad student at college, so it's hard with stress, school, and work. 

I have another bump in the road...which is I have severe acid reflux.  Obviously, made worse by binging.  So, right now I am trying to combine the right foods, and that helps with digestion alot. (doctor recomended it and it actually helps alot, when I do it right) But i usually wind up binging. Because that's what always happens. 

Any thoughts, comments, or advice?  How are you all stopping the binge?  Giving yourself pep talks or something?

Thanks lemme know, comments are greatly appreciated.

:)

furry,i can totally relate with you in so many ways. please start up a profile so i can find out more about you etc. i too have suffered from both anorexia and bulimia and am now struggling very hard with bed...its so horrible and no one else understands-my friends could never understand because to them they think i eat nothing because i always binge in secret-they have no idea! its horrible,...all i want is to be normal with food again and not obsessive and always thinking about it...everyday i say to myself i am going to start a fresh and everyday it goes wrong...

private message me if you want to get in touch or anything and we can try and help each other and set up a profile!

hi furry, i'm new too. i agree, this forum is comforting.
i would say to you, two suggestions. one involves psychology, the other is more pragmatic. first, you have to just get down and dirty with yourself and say no, this is ridiculous. i am not going to let this control me. YOU'VE got to take control back. with that in mind, when those binge modes go into over-drive, you just have to literally pry your hands away from the cupboard, shuffle your feet out of the kitchen, and go for a WALK! just walk, bring your walkman. just get your mind out of that mode, and wait. wait it out. it will pass, and you will feel better.
second, this is a suggesiton ive seen on this forum, i tried it and it helped me, so i won't take credit, just lend it a little credibility: soup! make a nice pot of vegetable soup. if you're any good at all in the kitchen, its very easy. broth, vegetables (carrots, peas, zucchini, potatoes, broccoli, leeks, onions....anything!), spices/salt, and presto, you've got a healthy, filling, tasty bowl of goodness to munch on when you need it. otherwise, a can works!
i started logging on here just sunday night and somehow have found this surge of willpower to change things for the better.
hope this helps!

thank you everyone so much!  i will try to start up a profile as soon as I can. 

I actually have made that pot of vegetable soup quite often.  It makes me SO full that I almost feel like I have binged on it.  Usually it does stop a binge, and I will do that more often.  You are absoutely right about the control.  We just have to say no.  It WILL pass.  It is just food.

and to teen...its funny because in public I'll eat normal or barely eat.  But in my apartment single, you will find lots of things buried in my drawers.  I know exactly how you feel!  I will try to get in contact with ya :)

Today, I can successfully say that I have completed 1 BINGE FREE day.  I feel incredible!  How did I do it?  well, today for some reason, it worked.  I think also it was because I was super busy and barely around food or in my apartment.  Whenever I started obsessing about it, I said NO.  It is just food.  I even allowed myself 1 snack from the snack machine, and a small morsel of cake early in the day.  Heres what I did and I think I am going to do this everyday from now on.  You guys ever do silly stuff like this?

Ok so I got up, said, YOU ARE GOING TO BE HAPPY TODAY.  I got on the scale, it said 135.  I said OK. I put on a nice outit.  Did my hair.  Put on makeup.  Actually felt pretty.  Had some coffee.  On my walk to class, I made sure to look at the spring trees in full bloom.  I said to myself, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.  YOU ARE HAPPY THE WAY YOU ARE.  YOU ARE HAPPY AT THIS SIZE.  YOU DON"T NEED TO CHANGE.  (im hoping that if i say this enough, one day i'll beleive it and stop binging because i think this is what saved me today..these silly little , untrue words of advice, but thats what we gotta do!!!)

And I smiled.  I waved to someone I didn't know, just for the fun of it. 

I went to class.  I allowed myself little treats during the day.  Of course with lots of healthy stuff in between.  Drank water.  Smiled, and danced around when time allowed.  Hey, I even got hit on twice!  Guess it was all the "confidence".  Then I worked out hard too, which was great.  I didn't stop eating at any specific time, and I didn't have any specific diet plan. 

I hope I can do this again tomarrow.  no.  I WILL DO THIS AGAIN TOMARROW.

hey furry-

sweetheart you may want to look into making an appointment with your doctor- i suffered from anorexia and now BED. it is getting much better but it is so hard to get over on your own. its all about your own self-determination and self-control. just a thought and an option if you feel comfortable. I am going to start seeing a psychologist to discuss the issues. We'll see how it all goes. Hope everyone has a great day tomorrow :)

Elli

hey everyone! well i am graduating from college this saturday :) and I am at home for a few days before. i weighed myself and it said 145... and i usually weigh like 152ish. i was so happy when i saw 145 haha.. but who knows maybe the scale is just diff than the one i have at my place. my goal is STILL 140. i've wanted to lose weight for a while but just never could get past the binging etc.

I went shopping today and it always puts me in a horrible mood. I am fine trying on shirts but when it comes to the pants i just feel like a fat ass. (excuse my language). I usually wear like an 8 or 10.. but I just do not want to buy size 10 anymore (and yes I know all store's sizes vary, I've already heard the lecture several times :)). I'm probably sounding rather whiny to you guys, my apologies.

Has anyone ever gone to an overeaters anonymous meeting?? I am thinking of checking one out but not quite sure yet.

I have a thing I want to start tomorrow, but it takes a lot of will power. It works to lose weight, but it is hard to get into the habit. I take a little notebook around with me and write foods down before I eat. I am always eating a bite of this or a few of these.. and sooner or later you are adding 300+ calories to your daily intake, foods that you just "munched" on throughout the day. My hugest struggle is to actually put my food on a plate and eat it...no eating in the preparation process, and no eating more when I'm done. It sounds so easy to change but .....ohhhh if it were only that easy. I will try to log my foods tomorrow and see how that goes. TGIF  EVERYONE :) Have a great weekend and Good Luck :)

So hello to all, i just spent ages writing my first post to you all and don't know what happened....it just disappeared! Booo!  I can't recall the last day that passed in which i didn't binge...i'm hoping that by trying to talk about my eating issues with you all is going to help motivate me to hone in on my inner strength to put an end to this behaviour pattern which has aken hold of me in the past two years....here's to getting back to my old weight, and dealing with my emotions in other ways as opposed to eating myself out of and into my distress.

Good luck to you all, looking forward to the future...it all starts now!

Hey everyone!

I just recently started to binge.  Even when I was at my highest weight of 177 I never binged I just ate unhealthy foods and stopped exercising.  I am now down to 135 lbs but in the last few months I have started to binge!  Everyone around me thinks its funny because so far I have not gained weight and their not used to seeing me eat so much!  However it just dawned on me last week that this is not healthy!!!!

I usually work out 5-6 days a week but have now only been going a couple days a week and not doing as much as I used to. When I began dieting I had no problem sticking to it. But for the last 6 months my weight stayed the same which discouraged me and landed me where I am today! I dont know what to do!!! I know this isnt healthy and it cant lead to anything good but I cant stop!!!!

Since Im in the sharing mood I also recently started taking diet pills on top of drinking alot caffiene all day! Again I know this isnt healthy but I am so scared Im going to gain weight.  I ate so much pizza yesterday that I weighed 5 lbs more today then yesterday morning!

Any encouragement would be appreciated!!!!!

Well Im a binger too! Once i ate 2 and a half boxes of pizza, 2 were from dominoes and one was from little ceasar's, w/breadsticks. At NIGHT. And after I had gorged my self at a salad buffet, with salad AND sweets. I gained 3 lbs that took me a week and a half to burn off. Accursed pizza why must we be enemies? On a side note however, I went to Mr.Gatti's (A pizza buffet place) ate a whole boat load of pizza and lost 2 lbs i believe. NOW THAT surprised the heck outta me. When I checked out the scale the next day.

i have been binging. my stomach really, reeeeaaallly hurts right now. i feel really helpless but i can't blame my parents for stocking bad foods at home. food is not bad, i have the power to choose what to put in my mouth and nobody can force me if i don't want to. it's me. i just can't help it. i have gained 10 + pounds in 3 months. At this rate, i'm afraid i will eventually hit 200 in a few years. i don't know what to do. my stomach just keeps expanding. i feel like i have no control. i can physically feel my skin stretching because of the extra fat (and no, i'm not imagining this). i keep thinking it would be so much easier to make food choices once i live on my own, but it's a year away before i go to college. for now i don't know what to do, and even then if i go to college, i'm afraid i won't have the willpower to do so. i'm really scared. someone please help me. i don't want to give up on myself.

Subwaybuskar, I know how you feel.  I've been slipping too.  I'm just trying to pick myself up and get back on track.

I know how scary it is, and how hopeless it seems sometimes.  The important thing is that you realize that sometimes we'll experience these setbacks, and that we have time to correct them.  I DO believe that.... we have time.  You may as well start now, not tomorrow.  And don't beat yourself up, because you can't undo anything that's been done.  Just keep at it.... you can do it!

i seriously think i must be cursed. it seems that i do good every other day, and then i binge every other day. it's been like this for almost the past two weeks. and i keep binging at night. last night i was able to curb it and fight myself from going and getting food, but tonight i just caved and binged. well, i'm not sure if it was a real binge because even though i did eat a lot of different things, i really only ate a little of each one. but i worked off about 1500 calories on the elliptical tonight and will probably do another half-hour in the morning. i am getting really tired of this.

i met with a dietician today and we discussed how i should be eating in order to loose weight. i weight 152 am 5'7 and want to weigh 140. I am going to TRY to eat 1500 calories a day. Its amazing to know how much you eat when you don't count. i could easily add 300-400 extra cals by munching.. does anyone else do this? it sucks!!! anyways i met my 1500 goal today and may even have a couple hundred to spare. hope everyone's week is going well.