~~Bingers Anonymous~~

Welcome to BA. My name is Nicole and I'm a binger.

i decided that it could be helpful to have a forum for those of us trying to recover from this evil thing called binge eating disorder (BED). Whenever you have success... post here! Whenever you have struggles... post here! need support to stay out of the cookie jar?.... post here!

i'll be posting my intake of calories everyday in hopes that showing all of you what i eat will keep me from OVER EATING.

anyone with the same struggles??

well, i was doing pretty good (2 ok days) until yesterday. i had a small breakfast of an apple and grapes after church, but then had chinese from the mall on my lunch break and then later on had two plates of salad, two pieces of pizza, some rice cakes with cottage cheese, and then some cereal. last night i was so tired that i didn't work out, but i figured i'll just start again today. well, since today was my day off, i got up late and had some grapes and an apple, but about 2 hrs. later for lunch i totally messed up by having about 5 perogies, some ham, some corn, a slab of leftover lasagna, a rice cake with cottage cheese, and then once again cereal even though i knew i was full. i was so mad. i worked out on the elliptical for an hr. and a half and hopefully it burned it off. i was planning on just not eating the rest of the day, but i decided to allow myself an apple and a fiber one bar so that i wouldn't be too starving by tonight and binge again. i forced myself to stop eating peanut butter, so hopefully i can just keep myself away from the cereal in my house (i still live with my family). i am considering getting that dexatrim for evening cravings and hopefully that will work. nights are usually my downfall.

Yeah i definitely think all of my friends would laugh at me, and probably say something like "don't be silly." Part of the problem for me is that i'm not overweight (yet), so no one would think it was that big of a deal.

To the poster who wanted to go talk to someone (tully? i think - it's on the previous page and i'm too lazy to check), i went to a counselor and it DID help because you have an outlet who is paid to listen to you, not judge you, and take you seriously.  It was nice to talk to someone about it who i knew wouldnt say "what's the big deal?  Just put down the fork."  I say that to myself enough.  But i should warn you that when i went, i was talking about myself so much (and so much more than i normally would) that i started to uncover additional problems, and it sort of made me feel COMPLETELY screwed up.

Sooo close to binging today...one of the people i live with baked cookies, and baked goods are the absolute worst for me.  So when i got home and saw them i just acknowledged that i would eat some.  So far i've only eaten 3 (a miraculously small number if you knew me), but i'm literally dying to go back downstairs and eat 6 or 7 more.  I'm hoping that posting here will prevent it...

i hope it did. i really think i need to come on here when i want to binge, but it's just to hard for me to separate myself from the kitchen. whenever i get into binge mode, it's like i'm telling myself to stop, i know i want to stop, but i just keeping going because i know once i stop i'm going to feel so guilty. it's like every time i eat, i regret how much i've eaten even when i haven't binged. i just wish i could get over this.

Hey Mikeiscool, I am totally with you. I wish I had the will power or just the CONTROl to stop myself long enough to log onto this site and post on here hwen I'm in binge mode. But its like you said, when I'm binging - there is no stopping me! The food calls and I listen until I feel so full that I am literally throwing up on my way back to the kitchen to shove in more food!

It was driving me insane for awhile, wondering why I was doing it. I felt soooo disgusting and unhealthy, even though all my friends were like, it's fine it's because you work out, you have a super fast metabolism, your body prob needs it, etc. NO! My body does NOT NEED to be so full that I am literally throwing up while still shoving in more food, then after I feel sooo ashamed and gross! And then I go to the gym for two or three hours of cardio to work it off. That is SO bad for you! And I knew it! But yesterday i found this awesome site that I posted here on hte last page - it actually gives the reasons WHY we do it, and ideas on what to do in each individual situation when you feel hyou want to binge. I've been trying them and they've seemed to be working (No binge yesterday or today - YAY!) So maybe those ideas will work for some of you?

Sorry this post is so long, but I really want to thank you all for posting on here and sharing your stories. You are all exactly like me, and before I went on here I felt so isolated and alone! And weird! Who knew there were so many people who were this helpless around food? I used to think I was "addicted" to food, or just had a HUGE appetite. But it go tmore and more out of control and I realized I had a problem. I'm so glad I found this so we can all encourage each other down this reallly hard path to "normal eating." I seriously watch other people eat and count calories just so I can figure out what a normal portion is. I seriously don't even know! And at restuarants - I've heard that the portions are typically two or three times a normal meal - yeah, well, they are SMALLER than my meals :( Fo rme, my biggest downfall is carbs. If i start eating cereal or bread at night, that's a huge tipoff it's a binge, because then I'm down the path and carbs make you want t okeep eating and so befor eyou know it, you've cdowned an extra 2000 - 3000 cals on top of your daily intake. so not cool! But i'm getting better! I'm going to believe it! (and i'm starting to say those affirmations in the morning and in the mirror as was suggested on here by someone else, i can't remember the name.) Let's hope this works! No, this WILL WORK! You can all do it! YOU CAN BE RESPONSIBLE AROUND FOOD AND TO YOUR BODY! That's my mantra :)

hey everyone... im elena and im a binger... though i think maybe a different kind of a binger...
since i can remember my self i ve been overweight.... though when a new diet book came out i would buy it and make myself a promise that is the last one id need before i become slim. I have done 5 water falsting session each of them lasted for at 10-14 days. but after every single one of them i would jump on a pizza or chocolate like crazy and the weight piled back on....

Now Im at the point of my life where i want this diet to really be my last one... but even today after having my carbfree lunch..... i went out in a horrible rainy weather ran to a corner shop and got myself.. no not a chocolate bar... 2 grapefruit and a yogurt. I know it sounds stupid.. but after nearly nothing for the past 2 weeks that was a lot and i could not even breath after i finished it all in just 5 (!) minutes... my stomach still hurts....
please help... is this really BED????? the way i diet or eat ( i have noticed) is either all or nothing!!! i can keep 14 by eating nothing and drinking just water.... but then i collapse.....

Last night I did not binge.  The first time in 2 weeks. I am looking for a therapist to talk to and am getting my books out over coming over eating.  I realized that this forum helps in just tracking my calories.  So, I am back on board.  Blessings to all, Lenny/Tully

i use to be a binger even though i think i still am,i would have a healthy week but then a bad weekend .every now and then when i think i am cured, the cookie monster inside me still finds its way to come out and takes control to make me over eat. right now ive had 8 binge-free days and counting :P knowing this helps me to keep motivated on not to binge and i still treat myself once a week to a chinese takeaway. also telling myself that im on a healthy liveing way or life and not on a diet helps me more.

i mean healthy liveing way of life**

Last night I realised two things, ok three, there is a lady on this site I want to strangle, I'm addicted to this stupid site and have no life, and this site is making my no life situation worse, and I totally sabotage myself by manipulating my husband to go out and buy me junk when I've been trying to keep it out.

He didn't do it, but I was asking him to go do the oreo or blizzard thing or *anything*. Then I saw it for real. I always thought "oh, this is normal, girls do this all the time. NOT. Only messed up binger girls who can't control themselves and then say things like "you don't love me if you don't go" What? "I'm having pregnancy symptoms, you have to feed the baby in my tummy" More like the devil. He's even been fixed. Was I trying to make a joke? I need more pills.

im intruiged,who do you want to stangle?

Oh honey if I told you, you would die laughing, and then someone at your house would have to call 911, and then calorie count would get sued, and then you would really know just how bi-polar I really am.

hi everybody! i haven't posted in a while, so... it is kind of reassuring to come in here and check in. anyway, this weekend i had kind of a slip-up. it all started with the huge slice of banoffee pie (doesn't it always...) that i treated myself to, from the kitchen of the cafe i work at. why can i never seem able to let a treat be a treat and not have it quickly dissolve into a stuff-my-face contest??
anyway, one thing i did notice is that whereas yesterday and sunday could easily have turned into the usual monster binges, they actually weren't that bad compared to past episodes, and i felt like i had a little more control. in addition to this being great, i think it is because i wasn't on such a tight starvation plan in the time leading up to it. what i mean is, in past times, the binges would always follow one or two weeks of healthy, but very restricted and often starvation-mode eating. this led the binges to be catastrophic because in my mind, i was trying to compensate for all the stuff i didn't allow myself to have.
instead, this past week, i was eating healthily, but allowing myself more room. a dessert every other day, some pasta, cheese, tapioca pudding after lunch....etc. whatever. and i think because i wasn't so restrictive, when i did get into that 'binge' mode on sunday/monday, i didn't feel quite so desperate to stuff my face with everything possible.
hoe everyone else is doing great

Ok, It looks like no one hardly posts on the health and wellness forum from the looks of the dates, anyway, I just got the week long demon today which makes the yelling at the kids yesterday and eating of approximately 8 butterscotch choc. cookies along with meals make sense. Of course the extreme tiredness as well, I haven't run in one and a half weeks now and am beating myself up with ALLOT of guilt about it. (Major bipolar problem anyway)

So now I'm gonna be to gushy (sorry gross I know) for atleast three days to run, then I work for two, and I go to my Gran's funeral on the other side of the country and seeing allot of family and people I want to look good and fit into a suit skirt for, HEEEELLLLPPPP!

there are three beers left in the fridge calling my name and that is allot of calories I don't need and IBS I don't want, not to mention the angry husband who comes back form the business trip "where's my beer!"

I went 12 days without it, and then ruined my streak with snackwells cookies. A lot of snackwells cookies, and some cottage cheese, and some oreos, and an ice cream sandwhich and some cereal. And some of you know how miserable that makes you feel to enter that all in, and not even know what measurements to put up because you were too busy scarfing down the food.

My new goal. Hide my trigger foods from myself. And stop buying them. I'm going to put the cookies where I cannot reach them, so I have to ask my boyfriend to get them for me or get a chair. In this time, I should realize how ridiculous my actions are.

That's my strategy, I'll be coming back here, hopefully with good news instead of despair. Thanks to everyone for sharing!

Anetta

 Hi my name is Jackie,  and i am a binger.

I struggle with going through weeks eating non-stop. Gaining a ton of weight, hating myself. Then i cant take it anymore, and i go through a painful week of recovery...[eating super healthy, and loosing the weight] Then after a couple weeks i give in to a craving...eating the WHOLE bag of cookies, sometimes i can pick myself back up, but if i cant i go for binge episodes falling back into the same old habbit.

I really want to change, but its like once you take that first bite all hell breaks loose! I have hurt myself horribly for the past two weeks. Today i want it all to stop!  

So far i have eaten great this morning...im not sure how this evening is going to turn out. I pray im not gona mess up!

THanks for reading my pethetic process...even if noone really listens, it helps me to be able to admit my shame to someone

Hey larmedusoleil,

I think you struggle with bed if you are all or nothing like that. Even if you didnt scarf down tons of candy and crap you still ate more food than you wanted to right? Even if it is healthy you still dont want to consume that much in such a short time. Idk that is just my thought.

Man, where has this been all my life? I AM a binger. Whenever I see food I just think about how I'm going to eat it and then I scarf it all down. I eat it even if I don't like the taste of it.... I just eat it because is there. But food has always been the commonplace for our family. The only time we spend any time together is when we're eating. So I will probably be posting here alot.

ugh, nevermind

nevermind

Hi  I am a binge eater too. Just kinda stummbled on this site and wow! I am an emotional eater  and have only eaten healthily now for two days. I was considering oa any suggestions?