~~Bingers Anonymous~~

Welcome to BA. My name is Nicole and I'm a binger.

i decided that it could be helpful to have a forum for those of us trying to recover from this evil thing called binge eating disorder (BED). Whenever you have success... post here! Whenever you have struggles... post here! need support to stay out of the cookie jar?.... post here!

i'll be posting my intake of calories everyday in hopes that showing all of you what i eat will keep me from OVER EATING.

anyone with the same struggles??

hi jackie, you sound similar to me. the back and forth cycle is so not fun. and it can't be good for our bodies either. i'll get into those awful binge periods, and then set a date or something for myself, and say that after that date, 'it will all get better'. the problem is that, even if i can manage to turn it around after that date, ill give myself freedom to just stuff my face until then. its awful!
but lately my new deal is to just try and go for balance. so like, even if i break out of a binge period and try and be 'healty', or compensate for the binge, i still will try and not starve myself, or just be really restrictive. because i know that that jsut leads back to the binge. so ill make sure i eat enough, and especiially eat foods other than just fruits and vegetables.
hope theres been progress.

O God im so happy im not the only one who has that sort of thinking! I do the exact same thing....i will mess up say Friday and then i say o well i will eat the way i want till Sunday then i will be good. (never works) I always tell myself this is the last time...so better do it up big....its terrible!

I know its not good for our bodies, Im just way too extreme! Im either fruits & veggies all day or im ice cream, cookies, pop corn, ect. Im scared if i am doing too much damage....one week i will weigh 100...the next 115....i hate it! =(  I tried just eating "normal"....all the food groups then at the end of the day give myself a lil treat like 2 cookies or something....but that first bite sets me off...how pethetic is that?! Like today i was so good...it had been my third day of eating right. But then my family was having ice-cream.....i kept telling myself dont, you know wut happens....but i did....and then i went to town. Now its late and im writting this with body full of pain and regret. 

-sorry for such a long message....i've just never been able to talk to anyone else about this. Thanks

I wish i had the strength to live with balance.its harder than it looks! Good luck to you too alex!

Hi my name is tee and i'm 17 yrs old.i have only started binge eating about 9 months ago after being anorexic for 1 year and losing 12 kgs/27lbs. I was very frail and exercising 2 hrs a day and only eating 600cals a day and 2g fat...i lost my periods, looked like a little girl and it was horrible.

And then i started eating anything i saw because i was sick of people constantly forcing me to eat when i was eating. I just wasn't eating enough.

I felt so out of control the first time i binged and got sick vomiting it all up because i ate too much and lost even more weight but now i'm used to eating 3000cals/day although i try really hard to eat 1500cals.

I'm seeing a therapist but it seems so slow because she doesn't provide any advice at all. I'm on prozac and have attempted overdose and was bulimic for 1 month. Now i'm cutting myself and it just feels so horrible and frustating.

But try this website...www.bingeeatingdisorderhelp.com it has helped me so much and I've got the ebook and all these newsletters from her.

I'm still binging everyday now..mostly after school for afternoon tea and every weekend too. I get to the point of eating secretively stealing chocolate at work and in my mum's room! I just feel so shameful of my eating behaviour.

But i really look forward to the stage where i will only be binge eating at the most 2 days a week instead of everyday. Then it will be possible for me to be binge free for a whole week, a whole month, a whole year and maybe for the rest of my life.

It's really hard i know for sure and especially coz i used to be so skinny, it's shocking to put on like 2lb/1 kg overnight or more from binging. People think i'm normal now because i don't look so skinny but i feel so fat inside because i'm preoccupied with the number on the scales, i repeatedly stuff myself, exercise 1-2 hrs everyday and think about food all day. It's ruining my last year of high school and from getting A's to C's and D's is horrible.

i'm trying to get through this but i always give up and binge anyway. When i don't binge, i lose 1lb straight  away the next day but then end up eating twice as much and then gain again.

It's impossible but i'm really grateful that there are others struggling too.

Hi lil_t88 I am Cathy and I read what you said here

You have come a long way - I dont even know you and I'm proud of you. You have recognized that you had this issue and you've taken steps to get help.

Dont give up on being healthy - its a one of the most important goals to have. I'm sure you are beautiful inside and out. Give yourself a chance to get to know yourself, your true self and that begins with treating your body good. Take the good advice thats given to you and find a way to balance everything out to where you can have a comfortable relationship with food and weight.

There is so much out there for you to experience and discover so do it and do it right :)

Hi Cathy,

I wish i read this about 20 mins  ago as i have just purged after stopping for a month. I was bulimic for a month but i was getting too exhausted i couldn't study or do my routine exercise and my therapist and dietitian was advising me not to.

But i have eaten so much today...i feel horrible for stealing half a packet of tim tams in my church's cabinet and then coming home and eating a bag of chips and 4 muffins. Now i have a birthday dinner to go to. I always dread dinners...

I am trying to eat healthy and move on even though i struggle everyday all day with food. It's cluttering my mind and I feel worthless.

It's so caring of you that even though you don't know me that you thought i was beautiful inside and out. I look forward to the day when i can agree with that and accept myself for who i am but right now i'm just trying to live each day and move on.

Thanks again!

Since you said you wish you read this 20 min ago I know that you have in you what it takes. You are a smart one and I mean every word I said before.

Here's the thing, please see the truth in this....

no matter how cute you are, someone's cuter

no matter how smart you are, someone's smarter

no matter how funny you are, someone's funnier

no matter how much money you have, somebody has more money than you do

no matter how skinny you are SOMEONE'S GONNA BE SKINNIER.

You just work on being the best you can be ok?

lil_t88,

I can so relate to you! im 16 yrs old. I used to struggle with anorexia/bulimic/exersize freak. 7 months ago I used to do whatever it took to get the weight off and keep it off! I lost 20lbs...people judged me, i lost friends, people wer constantly telling me your not eating enough! I was so sick of it! 

Then I started with the binges....and the sad thing is i couldnt tell you when they started. At first i would vomit afterwards...from having so much regret, and scared to gain any weight.  I would be filled with rage, so frustrated with myself...I would turn to cutting.

I binge everday now...im trapped in this misery. Its a constant haunting. sometimes i will have a good day and think thank God im better! Let me tell you not the case =(

I ache when i wake up.....always feeling full, my morning doesnt start off well. When i look in the mirror i hate what i see! I still cutt...my body is so abused.

And yea i totally get you feeling fat even though you look "healthy" now! Everyone does the same thing to me! They dont know im feeling out of control...hopelessly destroying my life!

-I pray you have better days! People say these are the best years...we dont want to miss them. Im going to check out that website, thanks!

Hi,

My name is anna and i'm 18yrs old. I started bingeing about half a year ago. I was slightly underweight then, so i thought i could eat whatever i wanted whenever. 

Now, i find i can't control my binge eating. I keep saying to myself that i should stop bingeing, but end up relapsing every 2 days. Its especially hard the day after a binge to start fresh and think everything is ok.

My average binge is 4000-5500 calories, which is sickening~I just keep eating, and have spent so much money on junk food. I know its so bad for me, but i just don't know how to stop hurting my body this way. I've gained 12kg/27lbs over these last few months and am really upset about it. I even visited an eating disorder clinic, but that did nothing for me.

Many of this forum's posts are about recovery, and how people are proud of not having binged. i wish so much i could write one of those posts too.

Hey girlies! :)

Welcome to all the new posters!!

As I have posted before, I too used to be anorexi/very underweight when I started bingeing.. it's crazy how so many of us have similar stories.

I am 'normal' weight now and SO unhappy with my body. This had led to severe anxiety and depression and of course more bingeing.. and now I am on high dosage of anti-depressants. I am in therapy as well, but to be honest it hasn't done that much for me. It is ME doing all the work to recover.

Girls, please don't get discouraged if you binge one day. I know how when it happens you get the catastrophic mind set that it's all ruined again. You REALLY have to be resilient and pick yourself up again. This is sooooo key for me because if I dwell on the binge yesterday it will all happen again.

DON'T starve yourself the day after a binge, because you KNOW it will probably lead to another binge and just feed that vicious cycle. I know this is hard but your body knows when it is starving, and the binges satisfy your body's craving. Even if you aren't technically 'starving', your body wants the food.

Some technique's I am using now:
1. Don't buy or keep 'binge foods' in the house. PERIOD. I always used to convince myself that I could do it this time, that I could eat only one cookie! It doesn't just happen like that. Let's take BABY STEPS before we introduce too much of a good thing.

2. I buy sugar free fudgsicles that are SOOO good and individually wrapped. I eat one after dinner every day which satifies my craving for something sweet but they are only 70 cals. I feel like I am having dessert. THis is purely mental.

3. I allow myself a snack before bed, as well. This used to be the worst time for my binging because I simply wouldn't allow myself to eat more after dinner.. and so I usually ended up going crazy and eating the whole kitchen. If I tell myself that I can have a deserve that snack before bed, I go to bed feeling satisfied (NOT HUNGRY, EVER!!) but still wake up with an appetite for breakfast.

4. When I want a real treat, I go to starbucks or the corner store and get a cookie/brownie/chocolate bar/reese's cups/whatever but only buy 1 or 2. I used to deprive myself of this stuff altogether even though I craved it so I would eat ALLLLLLLLL of it when I was around some alone. By ALLOWING yourself to have it before the binge happens, you can prevent that.

5. STOP DIETING!!!! I can't stress this enough. You might have a serious eating disorder and your priority right now should be to recover as best (it will be slow) as you can. Recovering does not mean sticking to a 1200 cal/day diet. Eat your maintenance calories for a few days and see how your body responds. I promise you won't gain weight. You must get over the bingeing before you try to diet first, because a starving body REALLY REALLY craves that binge.


PHEW!! I'll be back with more later :)

Hope everyone had an OK weekend!! Keep your head high :)

thankyou for all those tips-very useful!

fragile-frame,

I'm so glad you are my age and  struggling with exactly the same thing! Yep i know how you feel trapped everyday and binging everyday. It's this voice telling you need to binge...I always have this voice after school when i'm tired and as soon as i am in the house i rip open the fridge and eat whatever i see!!!

I have very weird routines and rituals with my eating though so i don't ache in the morning. In fact, i feel great in the morning. I stop eating after 7pm and exercise and in the morning exercise and then have 1/2c broccoli, 1/2 toast, 1/2 soy milk and 100g yoghurt (all no fat mind you)...weird aye??? and i have gum in my mouth all day. ALthough i still binge, i still have this anorexic behaviour of eating diet foods. But my main weakness is chocolate and chips and cookies.

From the chocolate and cookies, i get heaps of diarrhoea because i am lactose intolerant. So i get consequences beside weight gain!

I'm so sick of people saying i look so healthy now because i'm not. My face is so swollen from vomiting and binging and i hate photos now.

But i'm glad you'll check out the website. You'll thank me cos it helped me heaps. Try seeing a psychiatrist or counsellor. it mite not feel like they're helping but after a while, you'll feel more calm.

I also pray you can continue to move forward. Never give up because you are given these obstacles to make you stronger. You'll recover one day and i will too. Even though it feels like a long way away!

Thanks!

Anna,

It's hard i know to stop eating when you feel free because you are underweight to eat as much as you can. But as soon as i ate like this, i felt fat although i didn't look it.

People were constantly telling me to eat and these voices stuck in my head and was an excuse for me to binge.

Don't worry, joining a forum is a step to recovery. Try talking to someone you trust about it. It certainly helps and don't be afraid they will judge you. Most of them will still love you but don't know what to say but support you anyway.

Hope you can one day love yourself the way you are! I'm trying to still!

Dear ozfiz...thanks for your tips...very helpful. I binge on anything realy! like cereal, 97%fat free muffins, condensed milk, jam, milo, anything. So trying to keep something away from home is hard!

Hey Ozfiz,

Thank you for the tips i think most of them will def. help! But the only thing is when im on a binge i eat whatever i can get my hands on...even if it healthy, i just eat to eat, its really sickening. So keeping food away is almost impossible. Im homeschooled, meaning its like im always near that freaking fridge! Anyways i cant wait to hear some more advise. Thank you so much!

lil_t88,

Yea me too! Those routines arnt wierd at all, i always eat a healthy breakfeast [even if im not hungry for it] I know my body needs it to keep my metabolism going. so I eat like a packet of oatmeal and a small banana and down a glass of water so i feel really full. I used to stop eating after a certain time, for my binges, but now i dont care...my self control goes way down if i was bad the day before. 

Yea i am totally with you on the gum, and im always drinking tonz of water! Im either anorexic mode...or binge mode. I really want balance! 

Aw im so sorry thats awful! I have bathroom troubles too[not fun]. Thank you for the encouragement, i dont know how but tonight im gona be stronge enough....its been such a long time since i've had a good day...i want one so bad! One day i hope we are both able to say we overcame this struggle.

Fragile-frame,

Wow...you're home schooled? that must make it so hard!!!whoa....i really hope you get better....i'm in a biggie atm...i'm vomiting again. It's really bad because it's in the shower and then i have to clean the bath tub up so no one knows. I get so tired from it too but still exercise and have to study for last year of high school.

I know what you mean when you just eat anything there...i binge on anything i can get my hands on....

I hope you find some very helpful tips :)

actually i drink 4 litres of water because i'm always thirsty...i'ts coz i do so much exercise! I hope you are strong tonight.

lil t88

I'm so glad I found this thread! I recently lost 81 lbs, and I feel like because of all the restrictive dieting I am on the fast track to gaining a million lbs. back. In a year I've only gained back 4 lbs, but it's mostly because I'm taking xenical as well, and I go on short bouts on Phentermine too. I feel like an emotional mess over my weight and body. Ugghhh.

Hi everyone...i'm having a crap day today....

most of my friends support me and this bed so everyday this frend of mine brings a fun size choc for me at lunch. But she ran out so i bought a bag of 20 freddos and put it in her bag today...
BUT i've been going thru her bag all day to steal them and now there's only 9 left...THEN i bought a huge chocolate bar as well and now i'm eating anything there is at home because i cant go out and walk my dog coz it's raining.

my goal weight is 45kg and i was about to become 50kg but lost to 48.5kg due to vomiting. but it's so painful to vomit everyday consecutively so i'm scared i will go up again but i can't stop eating!!!

argh....and exams are coming up  and all this crap is going on at home...dad lives with another woman and my sis has left to live wit her bf and uggggghghhhh

binging is like filling up an empty hole.

I feel ya dancegirl28...sometimes the more I pay attention to my diet and this website, the harder it is not to binge! Maybe because we are not allowing our minds to get off of food?

hello everyone. after five days of what i consider not binging, i totally blew it tonight and i feel so lousy right now. i just feel so out of control, although i have been able to handle myself pretty well around food the past few days and i thought maybe i was on the right track. i know i probably just had 2000 calories in one binge and it disgusts me. i am tired and i really don't want to exercise tonight, but i know that i don't want all this turning into fat while i sleep. aaaahhhh i am just so aggravated and upset. i am planning on seeing my doctor soon and getting some help for this. i am on wellbutrin right now, but it doesn't seem to be helping much. i was also on zoloft for a while but it didn't seem to help with my binging much either. have any medicines worked well for BED for anyone else?

Paxil has helped me stop bingeing and obsessing about my weight :)

argh i'm bak in my bulimic phase and have been vomiting 5 days straight now...it sounds wrong...but it feels so good when i vomit and cut myself...

then i start feeling stupid...thinking how can i think binging is fun and vomiting is good and cutting is good? why can't i be normal...

sigh...i know the feeling of not wanting to not exercise coz u don't want the binge to turn into fat but ur too tired to exercise!!haha i haven't gone for a run for like 4 days now...but i still do my stairs and aerobics...

hmmm where do u get paxil? And has chromium ever helped anyone here? i'm taking blackmores atm but it isn' working..:S

btw chromium apparently helps reduce cravings for carbs..but not fats!

Do you guys know why you binge at all? I seem to do it because my whole family has broken down and i used to be a control freak but i think my body has rebelled against eating 600 calories a day. And binging fills up this hole in me.

Do you binge because you are lonely, bored, angry, sad, or tired???

anyhoos betta go and study for exams tmw