~~Bingers Anonymous~~

Welcome to BA. My name is Nicole and I'm a binger.

i decided that it could be helpful to have a forum for those of us trying to recover from this evil thing called binge eating disorder (BED). Whenever you have success... post here! Whenever you have struggles... post here! need support to stay out of the cookie jar?.... post here!

i'll be posting my intake of calories everyday in hopes that showing all of you what i eat will keep me from OVER EATING.

anyone with the same struggles??

so i started with these minced-meat kebab-sort balls and figured that it's 12:30 and it's protein .. well then i went to the chicken fried rice and the banana *ashamed .. sets alarm for gym in the morning*

I am noticing my binges are changing.  They now usually only include one food group and I do stop.  Last night it was M&M's.  I went to my dads yeseterday, so no surprise.  But, I stopped at that and did not eat the whole bag.  I am finding this is what is happening now for me. I don't really want the food, like I used to.  When I used to binge, it started because I really was craving something and had to have it.  Now, it is more just because it is there.  I am finding this more frustrating because I don't really want the food it is almost like I am making myself eat it.  I think this is because it is hard to give up this habit.  I can see overall I am getting better though.  So, that is a blessing.

Tully,

good on you...i'm so happy for you...means a start to recovery! i wish it was like that for me. :(

My binging is soooo crap still. It's so frustrating coz i only want to lose to be 45kg but i keep gaining instead and now i'm 50kg now. i've never been 50kg!!!well it's not overweight or anything coz i'm 157cm and 17yrs old but it's so fat to me coz i used to be 33kg when i was anorexic. (sorry..you'll prob have to convert that to pounds coz i'm from australia and the cm to feet and inches)

My goal was to gain just up to 45kg and look normal and petite for my frame but this binging is going on everyday. I've decided a strategy though. Maybe i could replace chocolate (it's my main weakness) to lollies for 1 week and then replace the lollies to fruit the next week and then reduce fruit to 2 a day and i'll be fine!

then i'll have to deal with chips, croissants, pancakes, cereal, cookies too....argggh wat do u guys think? do u think this chocolate strategy might work?

it's holidays too and plus i work at a shop so there's always chocolate available plus my mum's boyfriend takes us out to swanky restaurants every  weekend. I can't escape from binging!!!!!

Man i used to only eat like 590calories a day and now i'm eating 3810calories daily now!!!i hate getting so fat esp wen i'm bridesmaid in two weeks. I betcha i'm not gonna fit into my dress. How embarrassiing!!!esp coz i'm the only bridesmaid....grraaaahh

ah wel i'm goin to see my counsellor now. the good thing is i'm not cutting my wrists for 3 weeks so it won't look noticeable at the wedding and it's too hard to vomit now coz i've been vomiting daily for 3 weeks so basically nothing comes out now unless i have a rest.

sigh please reply and tell me how my anti chocolate diet might go.

tee

i binged again today. this is getting old. i've been binging every other day. the longest i've gone not binging in the past few months is 5 days and i thought i was done with binging. i still live with family, so when i'm home there's food all around me. i haven't been getting many hours at work lately, so i've been home much and just wanting to eat. i did really good yesterday and this morning then just went to town with the food after realizing i went a little overboard with some cottage cheese. i don't feel that sick right now like i usually do. i will probably exercise and try and get some of this off. i was going to give myself a day off, but after binging i feel i need it. i have to remind myself to tell myself every morning that i will not binge. usually when i do that i don't binge, but if i don't i binge. tomorrow is a new day and i plan to do better.

I'm confused....is this forum for support or what? it seems like everyone has their own story and no one seems to care...like they don't even read other's replies and just talk about theirs.

It wasn't like that before coz i got heaps of support but suddenly this is just like riting in a diary really which can be helpful but no one has said anything about my strategy.

is purging hard for some people? I find i can only do it once or twice a day everyday for about 2-3 weeks then it's really hard. So i take a week break and then can vomit again...it's weird.

there hasn't ever been a day this year where i have eaten normally and not binge ever. I just wish for that esp when it's holidays and i'm a bridesmaid. Just scared i wont fit into my dress! eek...and mum can't understand me. She just thinks i'm making this binge eating disorder up.....it really upsets me how i used to have so much control that i lost 11 kgs/ 22 pounds and now it's impossible to just eat healthily without the urge to binge on chocolate, chips or cookies or pastry or cakes (or all of them at once!). Plus i get bad diarrhoea from these coz i'm lactose iintolerant. I hate seeing the scale number go up and up and never go down....argggggh...

feeling crap today also cos it's been raining 3 days straight, got my clothes on the line and i can't go for a run with the dog and going to the shops just makes me want to buy all the nice smelling foods...grrrrrrrah

gonna go and see my counsellor...cyall....plz reply to the one i sent on the 25th.

Tee 

Hi Tee,

The good news is you are young and trying to address this problem.  Binging, purging or not eating are all ways of coping with what is going on in our lives.  Maybe it would help to start a journal about the triggers that are leading you to this behavior.  Also, diets don't work.  So, getting out of that mentality has been huge for me.  Learning that all foods are OK in moderation and learning how to do portions is really the best step forward.  Having said that, it has been two steps forward, one back.  Part of the cycle is due to deprivation and telling ourselves we can't have this food, or that food.  Once we stop doing that we lessen the charge of the no/ no foods. I am not saying it is easy and it does take time.  But, it is worth it.  Also, maybe there is someone you could go and talk to? Check out this site www.overcomingovereating.com

This philosophy has been very helpful to me.  Overeating or undereating is a calming problem.  So, we need to figure out another way to deal with our emotions.  Hang in there.  This can be changed and you are on the right track by addressing it.  Tully

hi tully,
thanks for replying! I'm really grateful that you have made the ffort to give me support and show how much you understand me.
Hm...thanks!that journal sounds great! and well i get confused with wat diets mean...are diets when you go on a "grapefruit diet" or when you try to lose weight or when you just forbid yourself of carbs or chocolate? OH, now i get what you mean. So are you saying i shouldn't restrict chocolate? it's hard. Once i have a fun size freddo, i go out and buy more coz i can't stop at 1 piece. Sometimes i just binge for the sake of it. just this urge that is unbearable. and most of the time, i can't have the food coz i end up in the toilet with diarrhoea or farting rotten smells in front of my friends!!!hahahah (lactose intolerant)


Well i have actually bought the book called "overcoming overeating" and it hasn't helped coz it seems too mainstreamed. It seems like theyre directing it to yo yo dieters whereas i have an actual eating disorder where my anorexic mind is fighting my binging mind and i have this urge to fill up this empty hole coz my family has broken apart.

But you were right on overeating as a calming problem. It does calm me but then makes me even more horrible afterwards coz of the weight and bloat i get from it. Everyone is watching me eat coz they're scared i'll relapse to anorexia again! It's so frustrating coz i'm actually going the opposite way!!!

Thankyou again. I agree that i have been addressing it. I am seeing a youth counsellor, an eating disorder counsellor, a psychiatrist, my school co ordinator and a dietitian and they have helped a bit but sometimes all they do is listen and tell me wat to do but when i binge i seem to forget my strategies coz a part of me actually wants to binge.

I'm on anti depressants. They have helped heaps and on the pill to regulate my periods when they stopped as i lost them when i lost weight and all these things are supporting me. The frustrating bit is feeling like i'm sabotaging myself coz i have all this help but my hands keep stuffin my mouth coz i can't be bothered to try the strategies! graaaaaaaaah

Thanks again. I appreciate your help.

Tee

Hi guys,
I've been binging every other day or the past three weeks. I need help!!!!!!! How do I stop this cycle? I hate myself everytime I do it, yet I still do it! I sabatoge mysel saying, "Wow I did so well today." Then I binge at the last minute. Everytime I binge I say it's my last, that it has to stop, but it doesn't. I feel disgusting. Binged today. Tomorrow's a new day. Isn't a sign of insanity doing the same thing and expecting different results? I guess you can call me insane.

I feel you, bb123.  I've been bingeing 3-4 days a week, and still eating around maintenance (sometimes a smidge under) on the other "good" days.  I'm working my arse off exercising trying to "undo" some of the damage, but still... I just want to conquer this once and for all!  I've been trying for almost 5 years... it's insane.  If you find a "magic cure" LOL I'm willing to try it.  I'm considering therapy, but I'm not the type of person that beleives I ever need therapy, or help in any way for that matter... so here I am trying to beat this by myself and failing.  Not to mention even if I got the guts to get therapy or outside help, I couldn't afford it in a million years.  I probably couldn't even afford to pay a 5 year old to listen to me.  Haha.

Anyway, I'm certainly no help but beating yourself weary at the gym really does help a little, at least you burn some cals and it's KIND OF motivation not to do it again...

Well, good luck to everyone.  I guess I'm glad I'm not alone in this, but I really wish no one else had to go through it.  IT SUCKS!  Ugh.

Let's all strive to have the best rest of the day and the best week of our lives!!!  :)  Peace, Love, Light.  Kelly.

bb123

OMG I DO THE EXACT same thing. I say okay i did good and i do good until like 8:00 and then i break my dieting rules because i try not to eat past 7:00....I did it yesterday to i do good all day and then i was like sleeping for like half na hour, got out of bed at 10:30 went to the kitchen and ate a bunch of shit. I HATE IT!...but I am swearing myself tonight not to eat past 7:00.

Hi all,

Tee: Actually over coming over eating's philospohy is that diets don't work.  And, we can prove this by how many we have been on.  If they did work, how come so many?  They say throw away the scale, get rid of all clothes that don't fit, buy new clothes and never go on a diet again.   Then they talk about learning how to get rid of charges in the foods we were always allowed not to have.  That is the trigger.  For instance, you can't have cake, lets say, on a diet.  So, when you are on a diet and you really want the cake you end up eating the whole thing.  Now they say, go ahead eat as much cake as you can.  Eat it for a month if you have to.  Sooner or later, you won't want the cake.  Sooner or later, you will want something else.  Thus, the new beginning.  IT is hard and doesn't happen over night.  But, the more we get out of the diet mentality the better chance we have of changing our behvior.

As far as the binging goes.  I know the more I focus on it the more I can't stop.  Also, maybe figuring out what triggered the first binge could help?  When I first started here, I would binge for weeks on end.  Now, I am only binging every couple of weeks anddd stopping it.  So, hang in there.  It is OK just where you are.  Don't beat  yourself up.  You are changing a habit that has served you.  Be kind to yourself!

what is wrong with me? it's not even noon and already i've had a cottage cheese double, 3 pieces of bread, a ton of cereal out of the box, some oreos, a huge chunk of cookies and cream pie, and mini rice cakes with some pb. i feel so out of control. i did so good the past 3 days. i am sorry if i'm writing on this like a diary, but sometimes it's better to get this out in the open with other people who understand. i just want to stop.

i feel for you, mikeiscool. the whole idee is portion control.

for icecream, take one scoop and walk away, maybe upstairs or outside. limit yourself trips to the kitchen and fridge. i used ti binge crazy on cereal, finishg a whole box in one day.. i have, however, transitioned from raisin bran into cheerios. raisin bran is sugar crazy and easy to binge one, but cheerios, however much i may like them, sounds less appealing to binge on, and are by far more healthy. if you have to, take one cup of cereal and walk away, eating them piece by piece maybe. eat slowly and maybe take a bottle of water with you while you eat. and get rid of those oreos! those are small, unfilling, but very caloric.

what ive also found to work for me is to eat something very sour or minty before going on a binge.. it usually gets me out of the mood. there is nothing wrong with you, as many of us face the same problem. its important to get back on track and strive for the goal! i hope you take care :x tomorrow is always another day.

im recovering from a binge today.. yesterday i ate 3500 calories +, binging on vegan cookies that i made and vegan muffins.. that i made. i finally tried something different and gave all my recipes to my brother for him to hide. so far, my caloric intake is circa 858 calories. i woke up at 9 and right now, it's 12:33AM. those extra calories were due to the two slices of vegan cheesecake that im trying to finish up, but its not even close to what i binge on. so far its been one apple, one banana, one peach, and one bowl of my mom's soup. i shall make it through today, i will!

(edit: advice and spelling error)

omggg i deprived myself for two days and guess what .. i just ate 8 cookies OMG lol perrrfect AND i'm on my period

thank you for the advice, yuffleduffles. i did the same thing on mon, binged nearly 4000 cals and then worked out almost 1900 on the elliptical. then i ate less than 1500 tues, wed, and thurs, and that's probably why i binged today. i deprive myself cals because of the binge, knowing it'll just lead to another one but telling myself that it won't and it always winds up that i binge again. i haven't been working much lately so i have a lot of time to just eat and i need to find something else to do. it's not even the gaining weight that i hate the most; it's just the sickening feeling i get afterwards and how lethargic i get. but i will do good tomorrow!!!!!! thanks again. good luck everyone else.

My binging has become less drastic recently. I binged today but i still only have had like 1700-1800 calories..so its over my limit but I wont gain anything from it....and most of its pretty healthy.

-cereal
-cup of yogurt
-homewage hashbrowns
-1/2 cup ice cream
-sandwhich
-some mini rice cakes
-veggie chips
-beef barley soup
-a cookie
-2 tablesoons of peanutbutter
-3 tablespoons of nutella

I wouldnt really consider this a binge if its what i ate throughtout an entire day but i ate it all within about an hour.

is it some of  you binge because  youre bored? try making coke zero popsicles...it gives you something to occupy yourslef with and its o calories. since its popa and doesnt freeze normally it takes like water one the outside and all teh coke flavour goes to the middle.

aha, yes! sometimes i binge when im bored, or eat as well. its hard for me to find something to occupy myself with, though.. since many things bore me. and i cant exactly stand coke zero because i hate the taste and isnt necessarily good for you =X but it is a smart suggestion! i could try that with something else..

to karliann, i'm glad to hear that your binging has become less drastic as of late. im sorry to heard that you ate it all in an hour, but you are still making progress and on the road to a better lifestyle! the only thing i can possibly advise you to do is to distance yourself everytime you get some food to eat.. when i binge, its also usually when im around a lot of food i am susceptible to indulging in, not because i have only one container of vegan cookies to binge on. most of it sounds healthy, though, so its not that bad.. i hope you take care =X

I just never know when im full....I wish there was no in between you know. I wish it was like a for sure thing, that when im full I'm full, not im half full but i could still eat more.

have you tried taking a couple minutes or seconds to let yourself fully feel the food in your stomach?

i know, for me its hard to figure out when im full.. but i stopped looking at that. now i just schedule my meals daily, with times alotted, and i eat that much when im supposed to. it helps me to look at the density and calories the foods have, rather than how full it makes =/ though that may not be the best way..