~~Bingers Anonymous~~

Welcome to BA. My name is Nicole and I'm a binger.

i decided that it could be helpful to have a forum for those of us trying to recover from this evil thing called binge eating disorder (BED). Whenever you have success... post here! Whenever you have struggles... post here! need support to stay out of the cookie jar?.... post here!

i'll be posting my intake of calories everyday in hopes that showing all of you what i eat will keep me from OVER EATING.

anyone with the same struggles??

i'm 26 years old and have been struggling with binging/emotional or stress overeating for many years, since i started college at 18. i have periods of really good, healthy times and then fall back into being controlled by bingeing. i am REALLY trying to get healthy and lose weight this time by focusing on being binge-free. i'd like to use this forum to help and be supported by people that think checking in daily will help them. my goal was to be binge free for 21 days but i've already slipped up about 3 or 4 times in only 3 weeks. i'm trying not to focus on that but today was one the days. i had binged last night for no reason at all as i had just come from a good workout at the gym and then ate 800 calories worth of food i wasn't hungry for before bed. so, i woke up this morning thinking i would start a new day but then decided i wanted to continue binging so i had some doughnuts, pizza, frozen yogurt and cookies...all foods i'm normally do not eat. i've probably consumed about 2500 calories and it's only 4pm. i don't know what to do or how to make up for these couple of bad days .

anyone have any ideas?

I've been reading "Overcoming Overeating" and it is a super helpful book! It focuses on the emotional/psychological aspect, which I think most of us need and tend to ignore. I, too, thought that I binged for "no reason", thinking I never had an emotional drive. I used to say, and believe, that I was addicted to food, and it was controlling my life. When you feel the urge to binge, stop yourself, assuring yourself that you will allow a binge if you seriously need one in a bit (and mean it - part of recovery is learning to not beat yourself up over a binge but realize that you needed it and you will be okay - this was really hard for me but surprisingly effective.) and ask yourself why you feel you need to binge. You most likely won't know why, but go over the past hour of your life and think about what occured, seriously asking yourself whatr the issue is. If you still feel you have to binge after doing this, give yourself full permission to binge on exactly whatr you want, and do it. Allow yourself - you will end up eating less than your binges now. The goal is to eat out of "stomach hunger" (actually feeling hungry - most of us are not familiar with feeliing hungry, i had to learn my body's signs) and "mouth hunger", binging or eating for food taste. Acknowledge and accept that it will take time, and you will continually slip up for the first few months, but that you will gradually sgtart eating more and more from stomach hunger. Each time ht eneed to binge rears its ugly head, try to ask yourself why first, and if you end up having to binge don't beat yourself up over it later. Accep tthat you needed to, allow it, and move on. This is very important in preventing future binges. Good luck! I am still struggling, but these suggestions actually are helping me a lot. I at firdt didn't think these would help, but try them - I was surprised at what I learned about myself!

I'm having trouble today.  This is my 3rd day and I'm trying not to overeat.  But today is harder because it feels like I'm restricting.  Which makes me want to binge.  I feel panicy.

I will look for that book.

a little easier today, but last night was rough.  I logged my food and printed it out for today.  I'm going to stick to it!

Wow I can relate to pretty much everything that everyone has written. I never really thought of this but I must be a binger too. I have always struggled with my weight, ALWAYS but it never got so bad until after I had my kids... I did manage to lose 55 lbs with Jenny Craig a few years ago but I was also in denial about my son's autism. I also thought I was becoming spiritual... and that fake life I had created myself did feel good. I ignored the biggest stressors and just pretended they didn't exist so I lost 55lbs out of 75 lbs that I had wanted to lose. But early last year, things crashed and ruined my secure little fabricated world... it was apparent that my son was not developing and it was time to get him assessed, and also at the same time so-called friends who I bent over backwards helping stabbed me in the back!! So what happened? Those 55 lbs that I worked hard at losing came back and then some. I got into a huge depression, and just hated everything, spirituality let me down so I ditched it and ate more, that was my comfort.

Do you always look forward to EATING something the next day? Do you think about what you can eat and get excited about it the moment before you go to sleep? Well I know I do but I have to face things or else I'll end up heavier than ever and that is the last thing I want to do.

In reality, I have let my past experiences rule me and I know I must let go but am having the worst time with it. I feel like I CANT let go of what people have done to me. But I do know it wasn't them who I had hurt by hanging onto these feelings, it was me all along.. and I know this but not sure if I can ever '"forgive" them for doing this to me. If I was a strong and mature person I would have held my head up high just shrug past torments I have had to endure off and go on with my life but I can't stop reliving the past and this is I am SURE a huge contributor to my problem. I have horrible problems with anger, depression, jealousy and comparing myself to others. I know people think I am a joke and they are right. I am a joke because I keep wanting to deep down hurt myself over and over again and I just subconsciouly want to kill that already severely wounded innner child. And stuffing my face all the time is a good way to do it dont you think? Well just had to share... I guess I am a binger and ever really thought I was... another harsh truth to face...

Mir

I just binged on Sushi - a platterfull of it, all different kinds and sizes! I usually estimate eight of the small ones to be about 400 calories... This was waay more, and some were much bigger in size. It must have been 1500 calories if not more... :( But this was my first binge since that loaf of bread, so I'm hoping to be back on track tomorrow.

Ugh sushi is actually one thing that I tend to binge on. I love sushi and unfortunately I think I'll have to keep away from it for a while because I don't trust myself around it. Six pieces of California roll just won't satisfy me. 

i love cadbury dairy milk and croissants .. so .. just why do i love them so much =( 25 pieces of chocolate and 2 1/2 croissants .. why!

i love cadbury dairy milk and croissants .. so .. just why do i love them so much =( 25 pieces of chocolate and 2 1/2 croissants .. why!

omg, i too look forward to the next day or time when it is "okay" to eat more. Ooh, tomorrow at breakfast I'm allowed to eat because it's an actual meal time. And I plan all the foods I might want to have. And then I'll look up tons of recipes and plan out several different options for lunch because I get to eat again, but instead of just one recipe, I usually end up wanting three or four! arghhh!

But to the question of why we love food so much, we don't! It's the escape it provides, or the chemical response in our brains. We actually hate food - it is our worst enemy. We're just addicted. And I know that I hate it. It has so much control over me, because I have given it that control, and I can't make myself stop! But I am refusing. I am responsible enough to be around food, and find a healtheir way to deal with life, issues, emotions, etc.

AND SO ARE ALL OF YOU! Good luck in this journey, glad we have each other.

Hello everyone. I am on here right now to stop myself from continuing to binge. I pigged out on these cheese potatoes my mom made, plus salad, cottage cheese (lowfat), coleslaw, nuts, some cream cheese/cool whip/strawberry/blueberry dessert, some jello dessert, a brownie, a cookie, and some cereal. but i guess it's not that bad since i only had some cottage cheese, grapes, and a few pretzels during the day (bad, i know). i am so full, i feel so guilty and i just want to go back for more, but i refuse to let myself. i will not give in to this temptation. i know i will just feel worse. ugh. i did really well the past two days and blew it today. but i will get back on track tomorrow. i'm waiting to get that book overcoming overeating which will hopefully help me out like it has others. thanks all for your support.

wow, Im so concerned -mikeiscool- !!!!

what you need to know is when you started your binge you had potatoes and then kept going and didnt get to sweets until way to late... when you fill on some what salty foods, the next thing your body needs is the sweets so if you have a small sweet your balance is restored and you dont need the food in between the potatoes and sweets, the more salts you overload on, the more sweets you will require!   to stop the onset of a binge switch it up and your body will reach the satisfied stage way sooner. and drink warm water it helps the nutrition soak in quicker to tell your body its satified before you can binge like that...Im glad you shared! and let us know how you are doing...

I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate what binging is doing to me!!!!!!!!!! The other day someone I met asked me if I hate healthily cos I had really good hair and skin and I said yes and I feel like im cheating everyone cos I dont-I binge a ridiculous amount. When I walk around I feel like an obese person walking around, I dont feel how I should. Why cant I just be normal?! I ask myself this every single day. Why. Why do I have to binge?!?! ahhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi. I've been reading some of the posts on this thread and I find it pretty interesting. 

This is really scaring me. I NEVER used to be a binger. I was sort of chubby and I ate a bit too much, but I always had control over it. Now it just seems that once I start I can't stop. It's HORRIBLE! And it's getting worse and worse, I swear.

Not so long ago I would've thought that 3000 in a day was IMPOSSIBLE. Now I can do that in an hour. It's just awful.

Yesterday evening I ate ...

A bowl of cereal
Another bowl of cereal!
A chick pea and potato pasty
A banana sandwich
A bowl of sorbet
Another bowl of sorbet
A CASHEW NUT SANDWICH! For goodness' sake!
Some pecans
Some cashews
Some brazil nuts
Some plums
An apple
A piece of marmite on toast
Another piece of marmite on toast

That's well over 2000 in less than two hours. Makes me want to cry.

It's just so disgusting. Even more disgusting is the lengths I go to to prevent gaining weight. I hate it, hate it, hate it.

insecure_teen, I feel like a "cheat" as well. People've said stuff to me like, "Do you eat?" and I'll just laugh as if I don't much when that is SO FAR FROM THE TRUTH! It's just ... AHHHHHHHHHH!

omg dreamer i so know what u mean cos when in public im always recxovering from an awful binge so trying not to eat when i know as soon as i get home ill eat the whole house!! and when im binging alone it feels like the calories rnt actually going in cos no one can see!!! message me dreamer-i see ur 88 so i presume your around the same age as me? 18? we can help each other !

this sounds awful!  (dreamer) at least your choices of food sounded healthy, but two hours omg!

Maybe you need some vitamins and such...try drinking somoe warm tea's for the endless nutrition in green tea etc.

I have fear for you,..luv kelly

omg today has been horrible. i had some strawberries, grapes, and a banana for breakfast. then i got home, had a hot pocket sort of thing, some cottage cheese, some cheddar mini rice cakes, some more grapes, and a tomato with lite ranch and lite italian dressing. took a nap...got up and binged. ate a ton of cereal, cheese potatoes, some baked lays, a couple pretzels, peanuts, half a special k bar, more grapes, and a couple more bites of cottage cheese. omg i couldn't stop...well, i probably could have, i just didn't. yuck. and it's only midday. i have no idea what i am going to do with myself. i don't feel that sick yet, but i have to work tonight for a few hours and i'm bound to probably feel lousy... :(. i did wonderful yesterday. i am just so sad and upset right now.  

hello.

My "long story short" about my situation turned out to be still pretty damn long, so I'll just forgo the standard introductory history and jump right into the bingery, so forgive me if this is rather disjointed and rambly.

I'm recovering from malnutrition due to dumb dieting (borderline-anorexia), was fine on my meal plan of ~2000--2500 calories a day of healthy foods (very nutritionally well-balanced and I wasn't depriving myself and had no cravings for anything at all) until about three weeks ago, when the binging started. It began with overeating just fruits until last week, when it turned into granola bars and doughnuts and ice cream and yogurt and cereal, on TOP of the fruit and meal plan.

Today started out all right, with me eating maybe ~1500 calories worth of breakfast, lunch, snack, and dinner, until the [insert ominous theme music of choice]:

- fifteen small to medium sized figs
- three bananas
- a banana-berry yogurt smoothie
- two chocolate pudding cups
- a bowl of cereal (Kashi Organic Promise Strawberry Fields, if anyone cares) and milk
- a Nature Valley peanut butter granola bar
- four slices of bread with peanut butter and marmalade

(...I have a sweet tooth, yeah. If only I could get it yanked by the dentist.)

Tonight it's gotten to that scary point where I've eaten so much that I've  given up on feeling guilty about it all, even. Just been eating and eating and eating.

...My parents and doctors at my outpatient eating disorder clinic don't really take me seriously because I'm still on the low side of a normal weight (even though I don't look like it and my body fat percentage is plenty) and because before I was binging on mostly healthy stuff. But I hate my lack of willpower and how weak and unhappy and unhealthy and disgusting it makes me feel. My relationship with food is bad enough to begin with, and adding more disordered eating to the mix ain't exactly helping much. And it's worse because I'm not even allowed to exercise much, so I can't work it off. I've gained about five pounds in the past two weeks of binging, which doesn't seem like that much but I'm VERY short and small-framed for my age and it's showing in my legs and on my tummy. I've still got some muscle going on, but everything on top of that is all... soft and squishy.

I know a lot of it is due to stress and depression, and I'm trying hard to stay positive and keep trying and distracting myself from seeking comfort in food and eating, but today? Really, really discouraging. I could use a bit of support if anyone's got some to spare. Thanks.

Hey Sarah, I am a fan of overcoming overeating also!  I have posted about it several times on this forum.  It is great to see someone else has found it!  I agree with a lot of its philosophy.  The more we diet, the fatter we get, the worse the cycle gets.  My biggest hope is that the diet industry becomes a thing of the past.  We really did not have all the problems we have now pre diet industry!  We have been brainwashed by unrealistic body images, that we can't figure out how to feed and portion our own foods and that some how it is becoming a disease.

I think binging is in direct correlation to dieting.  It was for me anyway and a lot of people I have talked to.  The more we get in the deprivation mode the more we crave and want all the NO NO foods.  Once we dig in, we just can't stop. 

I think addressing the binging issue can take time and the best thing we can do is talk to ourselves loving.  Don't punish yourself for overeating.  Overcoming says it is a calming problem which means we use food for a lot of emotions.  I think the more we say no to diets and learn how to eat all foods in moderation the healthier we will get.  It has taken me some time but well worth it.  Also, the binging is doing something for us so we need to look at what is it filling. 

When you are on a binge, it can get pretty depressing.  I can honestly say I have cut my binging to about a 1/3rd.  That is awesome. I have struggled with this since young adult hood.  I didn't really start addressing my food issues, binging, until the last 2 years.  So, that is a pretty good time frame.  I also don't diet anymore. I love this site because I can calculate my food, I eat whatever I want in moderation, and add all my activity points. This site has really been helpful for me and breaking this cycle. 

...Guess what I did after my post before going to bed? I ate a Clif Bar. That, my friends, is sad.

I woke up this morning feeling so tired of everything. but I'm determined that today will be a better day.

[edit:] on the bright side, I think I've made the 1000th post on this topic. Cool.