~~Bingers Anonymous~~

Welcome to BA. My name is Nicole and I'm a binger.

i decided that it could be helpful to have a forum for those of us trying to recover from this evil thing called binge eating disorder (BED). Whenever you have success... post here! Whenever you have struggles... post here! need support to stay out of the cookie jar?.... post here!

i'll be posting my intake of calories everyday in hopes that showing all of you what i eat will keep me from OVER EATING.

anyone with the same struggles??

I binged today which I havent in SO long. :( I had about 2800 cals in total. this is what I had all together today although most of it was in the last hour.

-2 bowls orgainc flax cereal with milk
-1 bowl of organic flax cereal with yogurt
-6 veggie gyozas with sauce
-1/2 a cucumber
-veggie wrap
-9 arrow root cookies
-12 malteesers
-3 had candies
-2/3 cup mini marshmellows
-2 pieces of bread with honey
-20 almonds
-granola bar
-1/2 cup ice cream

this is alot more controlled that it used to be, like i actually took the time to measure stuff out and It was all healthy for teh most part :)

I just started on this website about a week ago.  I have had eating disorders for about 12 years.  I was an overweight kid and always desperate to lose weight.   I struggled with anorexia and bulimia in high school and the first couple years of college.  Then it gradually turned into Binge Eating Disorder.  I've been 240 pounds down to 165 pounds in a matter of 4 months and now I'm back up to 245 pounds 5 years later (with thousands of yo-yo diets in between).  I've tried outpatient treatment 3 times, but I don't really have the time or money for it.  I always have something else as a higher priority.  I'm a total perfectionist, so it is hard for me to let anything else slip in order to focus on getting better.  I was in a treatment program in MN, but just moved to KS for work.  Now I am trying to do it on my own.  This site has been a useful tool in keeping track of my daily food intake.  I was doing really well for a few days, but it's like the binging never really goes away.  It is just waiting to creep up on me when I am stressed, tired, bored, upset, all of the above.  The worst thing is that I just got engaged to the most wonderful man who loves me just as I am, but I'm not even excited for my own wedding because I don't think I can get control over my eating.  I want to be a normal size for my wedding & the rest of my life w/ him, and I definitely want to do it the healthy way.  I am so glad that someone started this support forum.  Maybe it will help.  Thank you!

Bad day, man.

I seem to have got into this horrible pattern of not eating a lot at uni and then coming home and binging big time.

In total I've had 2 bananas, 3/4 large tub chocolate soya ice cream, countless slices of bread with peanut butter/ tahini/ maple syrup, soooooooooooooooooooo many nuts and seeds, enough houmous for about 10 people, pitta bread, olives, salad, pasta with TVP mince, "bread and soya milk pudding", porridge with loads of nuts and stuff, hot chocolate, hot chocolate powder ... probably more. Way over 4000kcal, anyway.

jennymarie23, hope you find this forum useful! I just use it to be irritating and complain about what I've eaten. LOL. Good luck :-).

yuck. i binged yesterday night horribly. today i ate nothing til like 2:30 which is bad but i wasn't hungry this morning after last night and i really didn't get a chance to eat until then. i ate more today than i wanted to, but i'm pretty sure it was within my calories for the day. i was so committed to doing better, went two days, and just went downhill yesterday. but it's probably bc i barely ate anything those two days i did good, definitely less than 1200, probably only 700 wed. oh well. i will start anew tomorrow.

My first post in this thread.  I just binged.  I had a few drinks out with friends, and when I got home, I was hungry -- so instead of having a small snack slowly, like I SHOULD have, I made a huge bowl of pasta with cheesey sauce and ate it all.  Geez.  I know I can't control myself when I drink, I lose inhibitions.  Oh well, tomorrow's another day, right? SIGH.

hi everyone,

sounds like we've all had a challenging week. i was doing so well, wasn't even thinking about food and was eating healthy and losing weight without obesessing until this week. For some reason, I didn't feel like working out and when that happens I go into all or nothing thinking and eat way more than when i do workout. the past two days (mind you, they are weekend days that are supposed to be what we enjoy the most) i have only left my house to get food to binge on. i've just slept and ate and have probably eaten around 3500 each day and food items that i would never eat normally. i'm not sure what is going on but i feel disgusting and i'm avoiding my friends and activities i love b/c of it. it's 10am now on sunday and i got up and am cleaning my house with the plan of going to do a nice workout at the gym and then spend some time with friends outside. wish me luck! i just need to have one good day to get my back on track.

ugh. i've just eaten all day today and i just feel lousy. i need to go out in a little bit and do something for school, and i don't even have the energy to do it. i'm so sick of this. i just want to keep eating and eating. i have no energy to do anything else but eat and sleep. i've gotten no homework done that i was supposed to  :(. this just sucks.

The worst thing you can do after a night/day of binging is trying not to eat much the next day....even if you "arent hungry" all y oure doing is teaching your body that once you eat a whole bunch of calories, that its not going to get more for a while so it doesnt burn off what you ate as fast because it knows its going to be a while before it gets a whole bunch more so it feeds off of it slowly...until theyre just about used up and then you binge again and it gets a bunch more. If you eat small amounts throughout the day it realizes it wont be long before it gets a little more and keeps your metabolism going and you dont even have the urge to binge because it knows that once you give it a couple hundred cals it will only be 2 or 3 hours until it gets a couple hundred more.

Im as guilty as ever, I used to do that ALL the time. Until one morning after I binged I wasnt hungry but I had a small bowl of cereal anyways and just went back to eating regularly the next day and the 2-3 pounds I gained the day before from binging came off again within 2 days which normally took a week, when I used to starve myself the day after I binged big.

I still binge sometimes but its usually only once a week or so, and because Im usually eating throughout the day its only on healthy stuff I have the urge to binge on because I have gotten the majority of my calories already (tend to binge at night) and then my body doesnt crave the high calorie fatty foods.

like the other night i binged...but I didnt even get up to 3000 cals so techincally I couldnt have even really gained a 'real' pound cause I didnt eat over 3500....and i used to binge up to 4000 cals.

Tonight has been awful for me, binge-wise, but I'm sort of giving myself a pass for the night. My roomate tried to kill herself last night/early this morning, and today has basically been a blur of some very heavy stuff. I just keep eating and can't seem to stop, not because I don't want to, but because I don't have the mental energy to try and stop myself. It hurts, but somehow, the binge takes a backseat to everything else right now. Better luck tomorrow. 

I had a really good day today.  Yeah, I ate 500 calories more than my goal, but I also played volleyball for a couple hours to get some really good activity.  I am trying to fill my evenings with events that boost my mood and get me out of the house and away from food.  As long as I don't get overly busy and stressed i think it will be a good thing.  I wish my fiance didn't work 2nd shift and was around in the evening.  Then I wouldn't be alone and tempted to binge.  Oh well, at least I didn't binge today!

I had 2 mini binges, and ended up having 900 cals more than I my target.

eek---this has been a hard week for me---my mom left after visiting me at school so I knew my binging might start up...luckily I had made plans to see a counselor after she left so I would have appointments to keep me busy. She said something to me that made more sense than anything-treat binging like a disease. You have to stop it or it will consume everything you do. And she was right. She told me the next time I feel the urge to binge that I recognize my mind going into that dazed and mechanic mode and instead, go to my journal and write WHY i want to binge. Every day this week was hard but you know what? Not one binge. I wrote in that journl A LOT lol and I came close to binging a couple times, but instead I knew what my body and mind needed. Keep going you guys we can do this!

AH MAN...have I binged bad for 3 days. :( Infact, I'm binging now. I'm staying with my fiancee' in NY. For the first week, due to my past eating disorder and just generally feeling uncomfortable eating around people, I pretty much starved myself. Then this past Sunday was his father's birthday and they had a ton of food. So I thought what the hell? Cheat day! I overdid it though, and its now 2 days after and I am still binging a lot. My finacee and I went to the store and bought A LOT of junk food. He bought like three massive bags of halloween candy that we pigged out on, plus stuff like coffee cake, oreos, teddy grahams, tostitos and salsa, etc..and I have pretty much gotten into it all if not ate most of it. We kept eating until like 6:00 am in the morning and it is only past 12:00 pm and regardless of how sick I feel I have already aten two coffee cakes and pretty much half a box of teddy grahams. :( I feel terrible, but can't seem to stop myself. Here my fiancee's family have boughten me health food because they know of my past eating disorder and how uncomfortable I get and here I am eating boxes of junk..its embarrassing and I can feel the good ol pounds packing on me. Even though my fiancee keeps telling me I'm beautiful and doesnt give a **** if I reach 500 pounds. However he did say that tomorrow he's going to help me get back on track and tell me to work my ass off and eat healthy because he doesnt want me anymore depressed this is just a mini vacation. So that helps...I just hope I can stop myself after today. I've worked so hard and I eat so much....like too much...more then you can imagine and not even throw up. :( Hense how I can seriously gain 12 pounds in like 4 days. :(

Well enough of my rants.....I just needed to vent in my self loathing.

hello.  My name is Shelley and I am not sure if I am a binger or not.  Can someone define it for me in simple terms?

Everyone on this thread seems to be finding things hard at the moment. I hope the coming week is better for you guys!

I had THE worst binge in a while. I thought the weekend was bad ... but ... ah! This was just so ... undignified.

For anyone who thinks bulimia is in any way glamorous, I can assure you that hanging around some junkie toilet really, really isn't! These particular loos are really disgusting ... I knelt on my jacket ... and it's now covered in someone else's piss. Like I say ... that isn't glamour!


It's just such a waste of time and money to do this. AHHHH!

Tomorrow WILL NOT be like this!

seashel, in simple terms binging is eating a lot in a short space of time ... with a loss of control. That's what I'd say, anyway ... but you might be better doing your own research online if you're not sure.

Sorry about the length of this post!

Hi, I'm new to this thread.

I used to always think that I was in control of my weight- I've always been thin and relatively tall, with a decent metabolism.  That is, until I got to college.  It might be the additional stress from doing one of the hardest engineering majors (and coming close to failing) or whatever else but I've been BINGEING and BINGEING like crazy, even when I tell myself tomorrow is going to be a new day.

I just binged on 5630 calories.  EW.  I think my average calorie intake for this week has been 4000 calories.  Three tests are killing me...and I need to take it out on food.  I always think that this time is the last time but it never ends.

I need help.

Hey you guys-so...I know this doesn't apply to everyone but I just really thought I should share something that has really helped me. To be honest, the binging to me makes me feel disgust regardless of my weight. Of course, I put on weight when I binge, but it's that horrible feeling of knowing my depression is making me binge or...the binging started and caused depression. ANYWAYS...I see a psychiatrist to help me w/ my food issues and honestly, I wasn't ready for that help until it was ME who knew I needed the help. Well, last week she did a trial run of some depression medications to see if it would help me with anxieties with school and stuff. Well....we met again today and she asked me a/b how my binging has been this past week and I knew I had done VERY well. She told me that's not that uncommon with people who take Zoloft, b/c it controls serotonin which helps regulate your mood and in turn your hunger b/c your body is able to better determine what it needs. Now...I'm not saying people should go straight to the doc to get meds!!! Nor does it mean my binging is gone...it is most certainly not. But...if you are in a struggling situation, be honest w/ your doc and maybe this will work for you!

I binged today earlier about an hour after lunch. But I did a workout a little while after it and felt like I burned a lot of it off and actually felt pretty good. I didn't want to eat again tonight, but I decided to allow myself some rice (probably more than I should have had), a few tomato slices, and some cantaloupe chunks. I really feel guilty now like I put on 10 pounds but I know if I didn't eat I'd probably just binge again tomorrow. Yuck. I've done pretty well the past few days, so I guess it's not too big of a messup today. Oh well. Good luck to everyone else.

Im starting to binge more and more now I wasnt for the longest time though! today all I had until 4:30 was a muffin (140 cals) fro breakfast and a bagel with light cream cheese for lunch (300 cals)...then when I got home I had 1/2 cup ice cream (120 cals), about 1 cup or so of peanuts (480cals) 3tbsp of honey (180), another muffin (140), chicken sandwhich (280), a few chips(120), 2 pieces of pumpkin pie (450), pretty big piece of smoked salmon (200ish), and 2 cookies (350ish). so today I had close to 2800 cals.

Ok this may sound like a stupid question but..can a binge ever ctually BE justitified? I have made it 2 weeks of nearly good clean eating, the past 5 days with no overeating/bingeing....but is it possible that maybe b/c my body was used to so many more calories I was feeling almost sick to my stomach when I went to bed sometimes and i've been a freakin insomniac! Well tonight I just coudn't take it so I had a couple bowls of ereal and trail mix. But....usually when I binge it's out of control. This time I felt better after I ate, like my head and heart are calm. So...can the body ever need a binge???Or....has anyone else been having trouble sleeping when they eat less???