~~Bingers Anonymous~~

Welcome to BA. My name is Nicole and I'm a binger.

i decided that it could be helpful to have a forum for those of us trying to recover from this evil thing called binge eating disorder (BED). Whenever you have success... post here! Whenever you have struggles... post here! need support to stay out of the cookie jar?.... post here!

i'll be posting my intake of calories everyday in hopes that showing all of you what i eat will keep me from OVER EATING.

anyone with the same struggles??

God it was my first night home from uni tonight and im home alone. well...what more can i say?!?!?!?!?! i opened the cupboards and there was just sooo much amazing food and all free i just had to binge...im gonna promise myself its just the first night but i know its not going to happen. i hate my body :( i hate boys :(

stay strong girl, i had a binge today too, but i am still at college. i'm goin home tues. or wed. and i am afraid of binging too.   try not to hate on urself too much and try to eat well balanced meals tomorrow.  it may help to stop future binges.  i'm going to try to take my own advice too.

so i woke up tonight after a nap about 10:15pm. Thinking my boyfriend had gone out to the movies, I immediately started thinking about how I could binge/purge (I honestly wasnt hungry at all and didnt have any real cravings for food, it was more of a "well, I can get away with it" type feeling). So I started baking cookies, and in the meantime while they were baking ordered ribs, pork fried rice, sweet&sour chicken and an eggroll from a chinese restaurant.

It's now 2am. Somehow I ended up with a total of about 20 cookies (more than half of the batch was eaten by me during the baking and afterwards...Keep in mind this is a recipe that's  supposed to make up to 60 cookies, and involves two sticks of butter, a cup of sugar, 2 cups of flour, ect. ect. ect...), I ate all of the spare ribs, most of the pork fried rice, the egg roll and a few of the chicken pieces. I then topped off my binge with two ice cream sandwiches I'd made earier and stored in the freezer, each being between 500-600 calories.

I purged, of course, but still feel disgusting. This has been my cycle for much of the past month, where I don't eat most of the day, or only eat moderately, and then have an insane all out b/p in the middle of the night. Amazingly enough, I've stayed under 120lb...(I' almost 5'7).

As it turned out though, my boyfriend hadn't gone out and was only sleeping in the other room. I wish wish wish I'd gone in there and checked upon waking, because that most likely would have deterred me from binging in the first place...

I hate this so much. It's now been over 6 years that I've been dealing with this crap...I'm 22 y.o.

Well well.
I haven't been posting much because I haven't been doing that good!
Finals, end of college, working all the time... my schedule has been quite messed up and I've been binging quite a bit.

But! I have also been reading the book Sugar Shock!, which is about addiction to sugar and carbs, and how these foods can ruin your health. I'm not the kind to believe everything I read but this got me thinking about my eating patterns and my health. Even my family said that I have always gone bonkers after eating carbs and sugar, when I was a kid: I would run and jump around, then suddenly withdraw and be all quiet and tired.I mean, I don't binge when I stay away from sugar and carbs, and I don't even have the desire to. But as soon as I take a bite, I'm done, and I only want more.

And I was fine before this summer, I would eat well and I would be able to keep cookies and jars of peanut butter at home without emptying them within days. I think that being on a South American vegetarian diet and having 90% of my calorie intake come from white bread and white rice really affecting me. It is during the summer that I started having sudden food obsessions and binge on refined sugars and carbohydrates.

I think I may truly have a sugar addiction. I know there's more to my binging problems, but this could certainly be a factor. After the holidays, I'll cut it out of my diet and see where it takes me!

binged for the 5th night in a row. even though i don't think my binges really have been all that bad. it's just that i'm barely eating anything until night. yuck. i just had veggies, wheat thins with grapes and some cottage cheese, apple fritter bread, caramel popcorn, little cereal with peanuts, and more wheat thins with some pb. damn. but i only had a rice cake, some cottage cheese, and grapes for breakfast and a small pack of combos midday. ugh. not the best idea. now i'm really tired and i really want to exercise but i might just wait for the morning.

I am 16years old and I am a Binger. I have been struggling with Binge Eating Disorder for about 6 months to a year now. I would LOVE to break my binge eating cycles and develop a healthier and more loving relationship with myself and food.

    I am also off for Christmas break from school, and i have been binging really bad all week long (about 5 days in a row). I am having trouble,... however, i know that I can get myself through this. Tomorrow is a new day, and I plan to eat healthfully tomorrow.  

I feel your pain, all of you.  I too am off from college for Christmas break... one year ago I could have been considered anorexic (except that I wasn't underweight, but I had lost nearly 50 pounds through fasting/restricting).  Now, on the road to recovery, in the last month I have started binging and I've gained 10 pounds!  I can't stop this... it's like, there are cookies everywhere, and one year ago I NEVER let myself eat cookies, whether it was Christmas or not... and now I can't stop.  Every time my family lets me alone, I'm going through the cupboards for cookies and chocolate and peanut butter.  I'm so disappointed in myself... I've promised myself the last 3 days that I wouldn't do it, yet I have.

This 10 pounds makes me feel digusting.  Though I really can't tell where the 10 pounds is on my body, I feel like crap just knowing it's there somewhere.  Half the time I can't even look at myself in the mirror.  And the worst part is, I'm not so concerned with how I feel about the 10 pounds, I'm more concerned with how everybody else around me will feel about the 10 pounds.  I told my mom and her boyfriend, and my mom's boyfriend actually congratulated me... said I needed to get some meat on my bones... but if he knew HOW the 10 pounds came on, he wouldn't be so happy...

Sorry... just ranting... has anybody else ever dealt with binging when recovering from an starvation disorder?

hey, i totally feel u... i have anorexia and bulimia right now and the binging has been driving me insane....

but since i have been home i have been eating more protein and healthy carbs to try to curb my urges to binge and so far they have worked.. it's only been four days but lately i can't get past 3 days w/o a binge...

try eating more balanced meals it may help.. and when u feel like something is bothering u talk to someone about  it... i have been expressing my anxieties to my mom b/c when i get anxious i binge and my urges have decreased.... message me anytime...

stay strong and keep fighting..

o and what also works is don't say to urself that u will never binge again or that "this" food is bad and i can't eat it b/c that just makes it harder to resist a binge...... good luck, remember that u can message me if u feel the urge to binge... just vent away

The holidays are definitely really tough. There are cookies everywhere, plus with parties and everything, it's hard to eat normally and healthy, much less avoiding binging! I've been doing better, but that's not to say that I haven't binged at all. I've gained a lot of weight since the summer, which was good, because I was dangerously underweight, but it doesn't FEEL good, yanno? To see myself significantly larger than I was just a few months ago is hard, and emotional. Then I get emotional and want to eat, but when I eat I feel fat, then I see a mirror and LOOK fat, and the whole darned cycle starts again. ugh. I agree, the key is to eat protein-filled meals and try to stay the heck away from triggers! I find portion control helps me too. Good luck everyone, especially through this tough time!

It is nice to know that I am not the only one who struggles.  Though I am not and was not ever underweight, I was at a healthy weight, neither too fat nor too skinny, before this 10 pounds crept on.  It's not like this 10 pounds has made me obese, but my size 6 pants are a bit tight and that makes me sad considering how hard I had to work to get into the 6's.  I've done pretty well today, though I still feel disgusting, I've not over-eaten or under-eaten, though a part of me has half a notion to go run 6 or 7 miles and then fast tomorrow.

I'm so determined to not binge that I put a picture on the fridge of me last month (before the 10 pounds, which is probably more like 13 pounds after the last few days!) and I'm trying to use that as inspiration to stay out of the fridge.  So far, it's working.  That, and there isn't any more open packages of cookies in the house, I tossed them all away last night in the garbage, and I'm thinking about taking anything else that I might binge on (the unopened jar of peanut butter, the unopened box of raisin bran, and the unopened yule log) out to the garage so that if I really want any of it, I have to go get it.  I can't throw out too much food; my mom and her boyfriend are on vacation and I can't tell them that I threw out all of their food or that I ate it all while they were gone...

Does anybody have any tips on how to make it through Christmas gatherings?  My family likes to eat and especially since I've lost all of this weight, they especially like to make ME eat.  Most of them are happy to hear that I've gained a little but I REFUSE to gain any more.  Any ideas on what to say when they offer me those rude little cookies?

Also, I need to admit this out loud because it's scaring me a bit... I've actually considered fasting for the next 2 weeks.  I'm an all-or-nothing kind of gal (I either do my homework well or I don't do it all, or I eat well or don't eat at all) and all through today, I've found it comforting to consider fasting because then I won't have to worry about eating and "accidentally" binging... I know it's bad, I know, I know... but there's still this part of my brain that is fascinated and yearns for the control that I had one year ago when I could go 10 days without eating anything.

I just have to say, it makes me feel so much better knowing that I am not the only one who struggles with these eating tendencies...

i'm 16 too, recovering from anorexia, 5'6.75 and 108 lbs.

i just had over 3000 calories today, i feel nasty, today was the worst day of ever.

i almost wish i had my 700 calories daily plan back.

I had five GREAT binge-free days in a row ... then it's New Year's ... and ... boo, hoo ... I'm a bit depressed ... I'd better stuff myself with 4000 calories. The good thing is that tomorrow I have the chance of a clean start - I'm going for a binge-free YEAR! Hah. Yeah, right. Good luck, guys.

portion sizes suck!!!!!!!!   i binged today and i am so mad i went 5 days w/o binging and purging which is really good for me but i binged at 6:55 am b/c i woke up starving and was craving junk food and i was stressed about my bad body image. ahhhhh..... i hate binging!!!

 does anyone know any snacks that have large portion sizes but low in calories... i eat light popcorn which is good but is there anything else?

good luck to everyone in the new year!!!! 

I was doing pretty well not binging until tonight... ugh, I had like 2500 calories today, which I guess isn't bad until you consider that it only takes 1700 calories for me to maintain, and I didn't work out today (my mom and her boyfriend came home from their Christmas in Hawaii and I was so excited to see them and my mom sat down with a bag of peanut M and M's and we passed them around the circle and traded stories... and yeah, I had a lot more M and M's than I thought I did...)

Back on the horse tomorrow, I've come up with a menu for the next 3 days.  I've never done the whole menu-for-the-day thing, I've usually set a calorie limit and tried to keep it within that.  I'm hoping that having the menu will help me stay on track.  I'm also going to make myself run 3 miles each day.  Man, I remember the days of this passed summer when 3 miles was nothing for me, and I was doing it twice a day... I really miss my lean, athletic days and I need to get them back!!!  I really enjoy running and with the lack of time that I had this passed fall (really REALLY busy courseload) I wasn't able to keep up with the running and 10 pounds has crept on me... I didn't realize how much my running really helped to keep me "thin" (not thin... just thinner than everyone else in my family...).  I also find that when I'm running regularly, my appetite is more in check and I don't have nearly the problems that I'm having now with binging... hopefully the coming of spring (and graduation!!!) will motivate me to get back to that...

Kellybb-- as far as low cal/large portion size food, this is what I know:
1. Popcorn (100 calorie packs are great, Orville Reddenbacher has 100 calorie packs of kettlecorn that are amazing)

2. Sugar free jello-- I dump the entire box in a big bowl and chill it in the fridge... it's 4 servings, but each serving is only 10 calories so it's a total of 40 calories for the big bowl.  You can even top it with some Cool Whip Lite, which has 20 calories for 2 tablespoons.  Good stuff...

3. Cucumbers-- 1 1/2 cups slices has only 25 calories.  I like to eat veggies with salsa, which has 10 calories per 2 tablespoons.  (I personally LOVE salsa with cauliflower the best but cucumbers are what is in my fridge right now)

Hope this helps you!

I've been 6 days binge free counting today. I hope i can keep it up! Good luck to everyone else :]

    Hiya,

    Well, I am a binge eater with no support at home. I binge every time I bottom out quickly (like from my fast acting insulin instead of my long acting one. If I bottom out on the long acting one I can eat 1/2 a ham sandwich and be fine . . . if I bottom out on the fast acting one it is 6 candy bars, 2 bowls of coco pebbles, a sandwich . . . and I may stop there.)

    The only other time I binge is when mom and I get into it over my habits . . . she detests that I want to eat healthy or be healthy, so she calls me obsessive because I don't weight 310lbs anymore. The doctor recently told her that is she doesn't get her diabetes under control and begin eating correctly then her kidneys are going to fail and she will die . . . . so she asks me to help her. Then she doesn't want to work with me . . . like I have to count her carbs to tell her how much insulin to take . . . she just takes whatever amount of insulin she draws up before I even know what I am cooking her . . . and I have to cook for her first because I have to make everything I eat separately so it is healthy . . . . so then I bottom out because I don't get to eat when I need to.

    *sighs* I am so frustrated right now, she is disabled so I can't tell her to go do it herself . . . . I wish there was another way.

I am a big binge eater.  I started this today and I am already hungry and trying to keep myself from eating everything in sight. 

I'm a 16-year-old binger; recovering bulimic.

Yesterday was an especially bad day... 4 huge bowls of cereal, 3 slices of bread smothered in cheese, 2 cups of pudding, half a jar of peanut butter, and a waffle covered in a sliced banana.

But I'm determined to make today better!  ....

just binged-eurgh. feel so disgusting.

just binged-eurgh. feel so disgusting.