Binging Realizations

Hi, Ive been binging occasionally for the past couple months and when the holidays hit it got worse.  I see a dietician since I am technically recoverying from anorexia and we have been trying to work through them and find out the cause.  Because, the way both her and I see it is that most people binge to cover certain problems or what not.  So, as I am trying to figure out why I am binging and why I now am starting to have the urge to binge,  I would like to know from people who have beaten the binge causes for why they were doing it in the first place, in hopes to help others and I realize what is prompting our binges

well done on the recovery so far. its hard work.

i wish i knew the solution to binging too. i would give anything to stop it. one thing i have noticed is that however much i try to 'play-down' a binge, and excuse it as normal behaviour, it simply isn't normal. i.e. my heart rate increases, body temp. increases after, and also, i don't know if anyone else finds this, but i'm jumpy during binging. like...i drop/spill foods easily, and am extremely impatient.

things like this are difficult to justify with gluttony or hunger. i know theres dispute over this, but i think most binges have psychological factors.

For me, it was feeling deprived and hungry. Basically, I lost a lot of weight over the summer... Probably too quickly and probably unhealthily. I started school in September, and also started bingeing. Once a week, usually. Never more. Sometimes less. 

I'm now realizing that I'm a health-nut to the point of self-destruction. And, well, let's face it... possibly disordered. I NEVER allowed myself a treat. Every day I was strict with my caloric maintenance. Every week I'd say I'm not doing it this week, and every week, to the day (Thursday usually), I'd just break n' binge. And I hated myself. And would cry for hours and usually the day afterwards, too. 

So my solution? Well, it's only been a few weeks (including Christmas time and the help of having my family around), but I now have a "planned treat day"... This is not an excuse to binge, but a day when I can pick a favourite treat or two and ENJOY it. Usually I go swimming to burn off some extra cals before indulging.

But seriously. This has really helped. And I don't feel so out-of-control! 

However, I'm also aware that my weight dropped below a point where I think my body wanted to be. Not too underweight, but lower than I'd been since I was, like, 11.  I got very depressed and lethargic. I almost think that bingeing was sort of my body's way of saying "the hell with you!"...  Needless to say, I've gained a few pounds... but it's weird. I can go out with my friends and not be thinking of being warm in my bed the entire time!

Yes, same with me.  My heart rate and body temperature seem to jump also but with the binging part I just have no clue about "triggers".

@juliadil -  When it first started it was about 1 binge per week or maybe a little longer.  However,  now lately, since THanksgiving, I have been binging at least 2+ times a week even when Im not being restrictive on my food than I was before.  But yes early on when i was binge free I had more of "freedom" days, where I ate anything on the menu or what not in a moderate portion size which is sort of like your reward day.  However, I do notice that when my binges started I was a lot more restrictive and was not allowing really any of these days.  But its worth a try again, also gives you something to look forward to I guess.

I think I started binging because I was so restrictive of my calories when I started trying to loose weight. Lately though, I binge for emotional reasons. If I feel upset about something or sometimes even just bored, I find myself binging. I turn to food as a distraction or as something to make me feel better. Also, I binge on foods that I don't normally allow myself to eat, like peanut butter, cookies, and candy. It could be the want of that food that causes me to overdo it. I feel like I can't have one of those things and stop at a reasonable amount. I still haven't gotten control of it, but I've gained weight and I'm hoping my determination to loose the weight will help me stop binging.

I was heavily restrictive and anorexic for a longgg time. The binging came when I get sick my first year of college and could not excercise so I naturally cut my cals, well let me tell you, the stress of school along with being sick and other issues (as well as being alone in my room wiht my own bathroom) led to the binge/purge thing...wait is midnight yet? It has been 4 weeks since my last binge/purge. I am so proud :)

I think it takes extreme self control to stop binging once you start and for me it usually happens without me noticing, eating more throughout the day isnt the answer I had a minor binge last night just a few hours after a large dinner but I stopped after finishing a loaf of bread I started eating lavish bread there was 2 slices left and I manged to resist them but an hour later I was eating cornflakes and I finished the box, but I didnt come off emotionally destroyed today I pretended like it never happened

Like many of the people who have posted, I used to be really restrictive with my eating and having that kind of control made me feel really good and together. So when I slipped, I felt so bad I didn't stop. I started with one or two binges a week a few months ago but over the winter break when I was home, I binged almost everyday. Not only do I binge but I'll think of the worse food to have. Even if I don't want it, my heart will race and I'll get shaky and stuff it down my mouth. I eat really fast, sometimes hardly swallowing. And I won't stop until my stomach is bloated and it hurts. Even then, sometimes I'll still munch on small things that I can't feel but will still do damage like chocolate chips or pop corn.

So for me, I think it's me getting mad at myself for "failing" when I start eating junk, then I continue to eat, stuff myself as a way to punish myself. Also I continue because I'm afraid to stop. I know once I stop, it will hit me and I will feel terrible. I keep eating to distract myself or postpone that realization.

So I think binging has something to do with control. When I start binging I feel a loss of control and I continue to stuff my face to assert control over my body? Like "body you're not hungry but I have control over you and will keep feeding you"

What I've done to prevent binges is I'll make a meal. Serve myself a healthy portion on a plate. Take my plate and leave the kitchen or the room with the food and eat my food some where away from access to more food. Then I'll eat my food and be done. Sometimes TV or people will distract me and I'll not think about going back to get more food that I don't need. Also, don't be so hard on yourself. Think positive! Pretend like you used to be 500 lbs and you've lost weight by being healthy so you're going to keep going. Set small goals and reward yourself after you accomplish them. For me I set a goal to eat 5 small meals a day and not to binge for a week. I have 3 more days and then I'm treating myself to a spa pedicure!

Yes, I have the guilt thing also with the "o hell with it" attitude and what you say about postponing your guilt and what not makes sense.  Thanks for your reply nimble =)

I am an all or nothing kind of person so if I slip and indulge I dont stop eating until I've consumed everything bad in the house including raw ingredients if there is limited amounts of junk,

just out of curiosity do all you guys really enjoy food normally and take care in what you eat when your not binging because thats me, I love food and I feel that I'd over eat at every occasion if I didn't consciously tell myself to stop eating.

Yes, it sometimes happens for me, but its usually only on desserts and sweets that I have to force myself to stop.  Regular food and junk food im fine with.

When I binge, I'm in some sort of trance.  I feel like someone else has taken over my mind.  Its like I make a conscious decision to binge.  My binges usually involve me driving at high, dangerous speeds to the store, speed walking to the ice cream and then danish aisle, and then paying and speed walking out.  I usually eat my danish on the way home and then binge on an entire tub of Ben and Jerry's. 

I experience the same warming and tingling sensation as you all have described.  When I'm done I usually cry and just feel so f-ed up in the head...

enzyme1- yes!!  When I was thin, I was CONSTANTLY telling myself to stop eating.  I was at a healthy weight, but every bite was saying goodbye to the food, like I had to accept that I couldn't ever allow myself to eat "enough."  I was always saying, "Stop eating" to myself.

I've been fat for 3 years, and I got fat by allowing myself to eat whatever I wanted, and it was SUCH A RELIEF.  Except being fat is HELL.  It's a worse hell than constantly telling myself to stop eating.