The Birds and The Bees........

On the news this morning they were saying that in general parents are too embarrassed to talk to their kids about it!

Who told you about it?

At what age?

If your parents did, did they tell you all about it or just skim over the subject?

Were/are you embarrassed to talk about it with your parents?

For me I found out from friends, and a brief explanation in school on rats!

Even when I started my period my mum didn't explain what it was all about, I was handed pads and told put these on!

Nor was I ever taken and measured for a bra!

I had to find all these things out for myself........thank goodness for friends

I had sex ed classes in - I think - 5th and 6th grade.  I also had "health" classes in later years.

I remember my mother giving me some pads and telling me to put them in my closet so that I'd have them if I needed them.  I thought they were shoe inserts.

I also recall a conversation with my father about birth control.  I told him that I already knew about "condominiums".  LOL

Who told you about it?  friends and reading books.  yes, I also looked up all the words in the dictionary!  I never had a sex ed class.  In high school we had health class and they briefly touched on it - abstinence, etc. but by then I already knew all about it.

At what age?  it was a gradual thing rather than a revelation.  The first time I remember actually thinking about it was probably about age 8-9.

If your parents did, did they tell you all about it or just skim over the subject? Ha!  There is no such thing as sex according to my parents.  When it came time for me to wear a bra, my mom just bought some and laid them on my bed when I was at school, and I found them when I came home.  (no fitting, trying on, or anything, needless to say).  She later said in a strangled voice that they were "cooler" than wearing a full slip under my dress.  That was the only explanation I got.  Also when I started my period I hid it for months, using wadded up kleenexes, because I was embarrassed and didn't know how to tell my mom.  Finally I threw some of the evidence (stained undergarments) into the laundry basket where I knew she would see.  Magically, a box of pads appeared in my bathroom the next day.  Again, nothing was ever said.  I never once discussed sex, where babies come from, puberty, body changes, or anything remotely like that with either of my parents.  Thank God for Judy Blume!

Were/are you embarrassed to talk about it with your parents?  Oh yeah!  Probably due to their embarrassment and avoidance of the topic.  At the time I was actually thankful that they never brought it up because I might have melted into a puddle of embarrassment and shame... but looking back I wish they had talked about it from an early age so that there would not have been such embarrassment and awkwardness later.

I went to a Catholic school, and we were taught a general sex ed type of thing starting in gr. 4, and the program continued until gr. 6 I think.  It was very catholicized, as in, preaching sex as a method of creating children, and abstinence only outside of marriage, etc.  So I guess I figured out what sex was around that age.  No discussion with my parents, but the parents were aware we were taking this program in school. 

As for other things, besides actual intercourse, I think all my knowledge of that would have come from books and movies.  I don't discuss sex with friends or family, especially my parents.  To me it's a private thing, between my boyfriend and I. 

Original Post by nomoreexcuses:

i have learned soooo much in this thread

thanks andy!

  you're welcome nomo

I've learned a few things myself

Grade 6 - mom checked out some novels from the library that "she had heard were good" (I was an avid reader) and had story lines including a teen getting her period. I realize now that she had researched these books in advance but didn't want to talk to me about it to my face... the book was terrifying it didn't explain anything except that the girl couldn't go swimming and she had crazy bad cramps that kept her in bed all day.... Hahaha.

Grade 7 we had a sex ed health course where we learned all about how babies were made, and periods. The book from Grade 6 made a lot more sense. I was less terrified now.

Grade 8 my mom checks out the kids books on how babies are made - sits me in the family room and says "Read these. Ask me if you have questions" It was awkward because I already knew all the details from school.

A boy in my class told me about this "Sex with Sue" radio show that was on at 10pm. I went to bed around 10pm and always turned on this radio show and listened to Sue talk to all sorts of people calling in. I learned more from Sue on that radio show than most people having sex even know.

Got my period - and was SUPER embarassed to tell my mom I needed a pad because she had never talked to me about it. I went a whole day using toliet paper while I got up the nerve to tell her. Vowed to talk to any future kids of mine so that they wouldn't feel this awkward.

Grade 9 a detailed class on STDS, contraceptives and giving birth. What a horrid video...

Over 10 years later and I still do not talk to my mom AT ALL about sex. No mention. I don't even think the word has ever been said in our household. Getting BC pills was quite a challenge in highschool ... but I managed to do it without discussions with the parents. 

I was 9 and my little brother was 7. My mother decided it would be wonderful to just get it all over with and just tell us both together.

If you couldn't already figure it out.. it didn't go so well.

My parents never talked about it to me.

I had sex ed at school. But all and all I basically just .....did it haha.

My parents never had the "talk with me". The best I got was "You better never get pregnant in this house and if you do you better pray you can stay with the guy that knocked you up". And when they had an inkling I was having sex they put me on BC.

 

Because of that I have been really up front with my kids about sex. I started having the sex talk when my oldest (8 yr old) was 6. I don't shy away from the subject.

hmm, my parents never had the talk with me. but in fifth grade (age 10 or 11) we took "family life" as they called it in my (Catholic) school, and when I brought home pamphlets and told my mom she just asked if I had any questions and I definitely declined the offer, haha. also, at the end of 4th grade she agreed to buy me some American Girl book about how my body would be "changing".

we learned about it in school, even though Catholic schools don't go as much into exactly what sex actually is, just more of the fact that we "shouldn't do it!" until marriage. and basically the rest I just picked up on my own. you know, other kids saying what it is, reading in books, tv shows. i haven't "done it" myself or anything yet.
but my mom still asks me if I have any questions, and I still say no. because, 1) I seriously don't, and 2) I just think it would be awkward and uncomfortable. I'm actually going to have a real high school health class this upcoming school year (yeah, my hs doesn't do health until junior year, weird).

also, whenever my mom hears stories about girls my age or younger doing sexual kind of stuff or being "easy", she always adds "that's terrible...you better not be doing that, Erin"

"I learned when I was 8 or 9 at a friend's house. Her parents had bought her an illustrated very simple book geared toward younger children. There was a stork carrying a bundle on the cover."

Haha, I think my mom read me the very same book for the first time when I was four years old.  I can't remember the title, though.

Awe I was laughing this morning, some of your stories are hilarious  thanks

Well with 17 (including me) not being told so far and 13 being told (even in round about way) it would seem so far they are right parents don't really like to talk about it. Although the gap isn't as big as I expected it to be.

Some of these stories really are funny, that's true.   :-)

I think part of the reason my mom was (and still is, even though her youngest child is 23) so open and out there with all of it is because she was a midwife for so many years.  I saw my little sister being born when I was 3 years old (at home).  Then my cousin (at home) a year later.  It was always just a part of life for my whole family.  We knew from a very young age the actual physical place from which babies emerge, we just weren't told until a little later how they got in there in the first place, ha ha.

My mom gave me a book called "What's Happening to My Body?" or something like that when my boobs started coming in, and that had the basics in it.  When I was in 6th grade and had sex-ed, she gave me some pamphlets on STDs.  Both times she did the "do you have any questions?" thing, and both times I said no...  Sex isn't talked about in my family really at all.  My BF's family on the other hand is VERY open, and I didn't realize how awkward I felt about the subject until I was around them, and my BF asked if I was blushing, lol! (I know what you're thinking... And apparently, yes, I do blush!  I didn't know either, lol!) :-)

My mom sat me down at the age of 8 and read me a book called "Where Did I Come From?" 

 

 

Come back to bed Andy... it's time for "education."

My mom was very "Ask any question you want and I'll answer as best I can". She always had a very red face and sometimes would laugh in nervousness...but her mom never had any kind of talks with her, so she was determined to be the opposite. In fact, I think she always wished I was more open than I am...I'm the private, closed book...she's not :)

LOL...I remember before I went off to college her sitting me down and laughing uncontrollably, while saying "You're father insisted I ask you if you'd like to get birth control pills before leaving...he would have asked, but insisted this was 'my job'...so, do you want me to take you?"

When I was younger, I just thought that 'sex' was another word for kissing! Then, when I was in 4th class (4th grade), I was at my best friends house and we read this book that we found in her sister's bedroom, which explained everything!

My first memory of my mom ever telling me anything about the birds and the bees was when I was about six. We have a library right across from my house, and I would visit it almost every day. One day, I wandered into the teenage section and took out a 'Sweet Valley High College Years' book. That evening, I was reading it, and the story was about Jessica planning to have sex. My whole family, and my aunt were in the room at the time. The word 'condom' came up several times, and eventually I asked in all innocence 'what's a condom??' My aunt burst out laughing while saying 'that's a question you should ask your dad'! My mom asked me to help her take out the plates, and while we were in the kitchen, she told me that that a condom was something grownups used if they didn't want to have another baby. Thus, I thought for two years that a condom was a tablet the woman swallowed! Needless to say, my parents then checked what books I was getting before I checked them out!

I found out about periods in third class. A girl was saying that her mom thought she would be getting her period soon. I asked what the strange word meant, and was told that it was when you started to bleed into the toilet! I was petrified, and checked everytime I used the toilet that there was no blood for weeks.

In fifth class, our teacher put a packet of pads in the bathroom and told us to use them if we had any 'womenly needs'. In sixth class, we had the proper talk, when a nurse came in and explained to us about periods and puberty, and about sex - even though she never once mentioned that word, calling it 'making love.'

We have had two more talks since I went to secondary (high) school, but ironically, neither of them has talked about sex, it is all about puberty. I go to a convent school, and I think the nuns are scared to talk about the 'taboo' subject.

My friends and I talk about these subjects openly, but I still am a little embarrassed around my parents. My mom knows that I know everything, and sometimes brings it up, but I am always slightly uncomfortable. I love Sex and the City, but never watch it with my parents in the room - I am mortified!

My mom gave my twin brother the talk and then offered to give me one.. I was like 13!! I'm like, wow, are you serious? I think my friends told me or I read it in a book (I read a LOT) years before that. But I was definitely glad to avoid that awkward conversation.

I never got told, all my older friends told me at the age of 8. (i learned about it when i was 10 anyway) oh and gurlywurly your post is hilarious. i got leaned about the boys stuff when I was 10, a brief bit when i was 11 about sex, just the arousal state and then babies are born bit. (woman giving birth on the tv is not a good video) then when i was 15 we got the STD talk and the contracpetion talk, it was so brief though the condom they showed us expired in 1996 LOL (oh the year was 2006)

Those who plan to be open with their kids, beware!  I always tried to be open with my daughters.  When we were getting our male kitten fixed, I very openly explained what we were doing and why.  It turned out that one of his testicles had not quite decended and the vet told us to wait another month or two.  That night we went to my mother's house for a family dinner.  At the dinner table with the whole family present, mother asked if we had gotten the cat fixed.  My 6 year old daughter answered.  "No he wasn't ready yet, we are going to get his balls cut off later".