Just gave birth and back to work!

Hey out there,

If you have just given birth and are back from maternity leave let me know how you are handling the stresses of a new baby and work.

I have a 7 week old daughter and I returned to work a few days ago. I miss her terribly and am having a hard time adjusting back to the responsibilties of work. I am having trouble finding the motivation to get back in to the swing of things, but hopefully I will get it soon!

I have to work since my husband and I do not have the financial freedom to raise 2 kids and have a mortgage!

Any suggestions to get re-motivated? I am in sales and it is tough this time of year anyway...but we will see how it goes I guess!

Anyone in the same boat as me?

Well my friend I'ma mother of 4 children and I just had a new baby he is 3 months now and the strss of not being back to work is getting me. Actually I get so bored and just eat while I'm home junk food that is ! So maybe for me work would be the answer to my success.

My second daughter is 3 months old now and I just started back to work about 2 weeks ago.  It's tough going back & getting motivated but I know for sure I never would have been able to handle it at just 7 weeks!!  With both my girls I found I was feeling itchy and ready for something to do around 10 weeks. 

I can honestly say nothing gets done at home until the girls are in bed - every minute from the time I get home until bedtime is spent as family time - we make the most of the time we have together. 

One weekend I prepared about a month's worth of meals and put them in the freezer - it sure has made dinner time much easier when I can just pull it out and throw it in the oven (with home-made freezer meals I'm not worried about the sodium, fat content, or preservatives that you get in commercial frozen dinners).

We also have a nightly to-do list of things that will make the morning easier if we do some prep work & organization the night before - get the coffee pot ready, make lunch, get the dog food dishes ready, start the dishwasher, etc.

Between those 2 things we seem to be getting out the door on time every morning and having fun playing together in the evenings.  I also have a stellar husband that shares all the kid/laundry/dishes/house stuff with me.

I see what you are saying about the evening prep idea. I tried that and felt great about the progress I made for the morning! Unfortunately, before bed, the last thing I want to do is clean, so my  house does not get cleaned until the weekend when it all piles up and you HAVE to do laundry for the next week.

I do have to tell you that I found a new "hobby" the last 2 weeks. I started clipping coupons to save money. 2 kids in daycare is tough, so I had to come up with something to save. After clipping, my family and I went to the grocery store and I actually SAVED $25 off my grocery bill. Way to go Coupons!!

Things at work aren't any better since the bosses are finding new ways to save money themselves. They are very creative at finding ways to cut commissions and making things harder.

I have a great job, but is it worth not seeing my kids all the time and letting someone else raise them?

I completely understand where you are coming from! My daughter just turned 8 weeks and I had to return last week.  I miss her a lot and call my husband constantly to make sure she is doing ok!  I stay with her during the day and I work at night because we cannot afford to pay for childcare.  Last night when I was at work, my daughter laughed for the first time and I missed it! I hope it gets better and I don't miss out on too much more!

Don't worry...you will hear that precious laugh soon! I missed my first child's first steps becuase I was travelling on business. I still am mad about that to this day, but there are so many things that happen after their "firsts" that are so much fun!

Enjoy your new baby! Time flies!

congrats on the baby. i just had my daughter 5 weeks ago. I go to night school for cosmetology and i know how it feels to go back to work or school. its very hard for me to leave her i just miss her so much. but just think of it this way you going to work is for her and her future and she relies on you.

Hi!  I'm new here, and thought this group would be perfect for me.  I am a new mommy to a beautiful 6 week old girl.  I am in my last year of nursing school and, unfortunately, had to be back at school 8 days after she was born.  I am lucky in that my mother and mother-in-law watch her during the day, but it's terribly hard for me to leave her just the same.  I don't have a lot of advice as to how to handle the stress, but as someone who had to be away from her baby from the beginning, I can tell you it does get easier.  You fall into a new routine and things start to get done again around the house.  I think one of the hardest things right now is not getting any sleep.  When my daughter sleeps at night, I usually have to study.  My husband helps with her at night (I pump the breast milk) so I can sleep at least six hours when I have an exam.  Yesterday, I started walking for 45 min. or so around my neighborhood.  I take Lilly in the stroller.  She snoozes while I work off some of the sixty-some pounds I gained while pregnant!  Make the most of the time you have with your baby girl while she is awake, and when you can get things done, do it.  Don't stress about the small stuff, you'll get back into the swing. =)  Congratulations, and good luck!

my daughter's name is also Lily! She is 11 weeks old today! Time goes by so fast. It is nice that your husband helps during the night. By the time I wake my husband up to go feed Lily in the middle of the night, I am already awake...so I usually don't even wake him and just go get her myself. She, fortunately, is sleeping through most nights (slept 10 hours last night!!) so it is OK to get up a couple nights a week.

Good luck with school!

im so nervous about going back to work and school, im going to miss my baby so much and i dont want anyone else watching him! also im breastfeeding so its going to be a pain in the ass storing all that milk

Hi everyone,

My daughter is 3 months and I started backto work part-time last week. But, I'm in school full-time and have been back in classes since she was 6 weeks old. I agree that it gets easier, but like ajs268, I'm lucky to have my mother and mother-in-law watch her most of the time. I pump every chance I get to keep up the milk stores.

My husband reluctantly watches her and helps out, but he's busy too. I have weeks like this one where I have school and work as usual, plus a 20 page midterm and a lecture I have to prepare as a TA, and my husband is gone 3 nights this week for his band. These weeks I feel terribly guilty and sad 'cause I don't get to spend much time with Baby Girl.

I find that I eat when  I can't do anything but carry her around. She likes being walked around face-out so she can see everything! We also go for a 45 minute walk most mornings. I've lost 36 of the 45 pounds I gained, but I was overweight when I got pregnant, so I'm trying to lose an additional 20 or 25 on top of the 9 I have left. SO...I've got quite the journey ahead of me. I also need to lose safely and slowly enough that I don't affect my milk production. Good luck to everyone!

That is a great idea -- spending one weekend preparing a month's worth of frozen meals!  I need to try that -- I am going back to work when my daughter is 2 mos old and that will be in about 3 weeks.  It seems to be going so fast!  I should start looking for easy recipes to freeze in advance.  Do you have any suggestions?

Hey ladies, I'm not back at work yet (not until March. I took the WHOLE 12 weeks), and am nervous about it.  I know it took a lot out of me when it was just me and my 12 year old (who is remarkably self sufficient), I'm thinking it will only get doubly hard when it's us and the tiny boy, who can't do for himself the way my daughter can! 

But on the topic of making a whole month's recipes, if you are completely at your wits end about what to cook (like I am) there are places where you can go and make a month's worth of gormet meals (Let's Dish, Souper Suppers, My Girlfriend's Kitchen-- google them).  Some are pricey, but the convenience is astounding.  And if you are prudent, you can work it so you get the leftovers for your lunch the next day, saving $$$ and time you take to pack your lunch otherwise. 

On the topic of cooking meals in advance, there is a website called advantagecooking.com.  They have a software program that lets you pick recipes and then multiply it by several meals so that you can cook in advance and freeze the meals.  It is great at instructions on how to do it all in steps so that the meals come out fresh when you reheat.  It saves time and money.

As for working and breastfeeding, I went back after 8 weeks and was miserable at work.  I breastfed for 6 months and it was a total pain.  I didn't have a lactation room at work so I went to my car 3 times a day to pump.  I had coolers with freezer packs in the car.  It was exhausting and I complained constantly but I did it for my daughter's health.  I finally left my job to work from home, stopped breastfeeding due to the stress, and wouldn't you know that I got laid off 2 months later.  So here I am now unemployed.  It is hard to be too upset though b/c I get to spend everyday with my 8 1/2 month old baby girl, but in a couple of months when savings run out I have no idea what we will do.

What I don't get is why I keep hearing that it is a choice to work.  I don't have a choice, we can't live on my husband's salary and he already works 55 hours a week so it's not like he can fit anymore work into his day.  Maybe that powerball ticket will hit one of these days.. .

I've never heard that work is a choice.  I was of the assumption it was the only option for those of us without trust funds and wealthy families.  If you can't pay your bills with one salary, you are right, work is not a choice, really.  And having spent 10 years as a single working mom, I get somewhat irritable at people who behave as if working and being a mom is the worst thing in the world for a child.  I don't see how being thrown into the street after forclosure is a better option, you know?

Hey I know how you feel, I went back to work the day my first son was 6 weeks old! I missed him so much and I hated having to beg and plead for time to go and pump (which ultimately didn't happen often enough).  I worked retail/restraunt so my hours were wacky and we were paying a sitter about $500 a month for only half time.  Finally after a year of stress and emotional issues cause i missed my baby's first everything, my husband and I sat down and figured out all the money we were spending because I was working compared to what I was bringing home. It was not nearly enough to justify all the hours away.  So we cut out everything non-essential (cable, eating out, lower plan on the cell pho).  We were able to cut our monthly budget enough to pay a mortgage and run our house with out me working.  That was a year ago, and we have another kid, but we are still managing to run on 35,000 a year.  I don't post this to say that anyone who works is not trying hard enough, actually its more to say that sometimes the unattainable is not that far, if you want to stay home.  Me and my husband felt that it was most important for me to be at home raising our kids (since we have no family) than a stranger, so we make sacrifices that others may not be able to.  Anyway the point was, if you find your self wanting to stay home take an indepth look at your finaces and where your money is going,  you may just be able to stay home!

Hi,

I am new to this group thing, but thought I would give it a try. I did the calorie counter and biggest loser plan a little over a year ago.  I lost fifty pounds. My goal was to get pregnant, which was a challenge for me because I have infertility issues. The good news is I succeeded and now have a six month old daughter. She was six weeks old I went back to work as an intensive needs aide. I eat when I am stressed and this is a very stressful job. This is paired with being a new mom and it seems like every time I start to try and workout, my baby girl needs something. I don't know how you who have more than one child manage it all. I don't want to seem like I am making excuses. I would just like some suggestions on how you find time for yourself. Everyone around me just say," You just had a baby." However, she is six months old now and I weigh as much as I did when I had her. Ugh.

Hi Renee,

I am definitely in the same shoes as you. I just came back to work yesterday and am so sad.. I miss my son so much. I gave birth Nov. 21st, so I had 12 weeks of maternity leave. I can't believe how hard it is to come back to work. I would love to be a stay at home mom, but just like you, we can't afford having only one income, plus I am the one with the benefits. I wish things could be different. Oh well, I guess I can get used to this. The only good thing is that my mom is staying with my son. Of course, I am paying her too cause I know they need the money. It's a win win situation. As for advice, I think I need it too before I can give any. I don't know how to deal with this and how to get back in to the groove of working. I work in an office and have my own cubicle, and I just want to sleep or call home and see how Jacob is doing or look at his pictures. Yeah, he's my first, can you tell??? Well good luck and I hope things get easier for you.

Liz

My baby is 8 weeks old and I have returned to work.  I had planned to take 12 weeks, but I was on bed rest for a month before I delivered, so I only was able to spend 8 weeks at home with her (and it went way too fast!).  I did not realize how hard it would be to go back to work and have been pretty emotional since I started.  I feel guilty leaving the baby, but work second shift to save on child care and I am fortunate enough to have family nearby to babysit when needed.  

My house is constantly a mess, I rarely get to it during the mornings and my husband takes care of the baby at night when I work so he can't get to it either.  Weekends seem to be devoted to cleaning up, laundry, and hopefully cooking for the week ahead (freezing meals seems to be a great time saving strategy).  I realize that I only have one child thus far and am a little nervous about how it all will work when we grow our family (my husband is already asking when we can have another one).  

Now my mission is to lose some of the baby weight, especially since my last pregnancy included pre-eclampsia (high bp and lots of water retention which have blessed me with stretch marks from my waist to calves) and I ended up on bed rest.  I want to go into the next pregnancy, whenever that will be, a healthier "me" with the hopes that there will be no complications and next baby will be healthy too.  

Howdy!

Don't feel bad. I feel exactly the same way you do. My house is getting messy and I feel like I am constantly running. I also don't have a positive image of myself. I did very well with the stretch marks through the whole pregnancy. I only got two stretch marks the whole time. Then I developed an auto immune disorder related to being pregnant. I swelled bigger after I delivered then I was the whole pregnancy. (Not that I didn't gain during the pregnancy.) The result was stretch marks under my arms, behind my legs, and all over my stomach.  I don't understand how those women who work, stay thin, maintain a home, and be a wife, and still have "extra time" to sleep. My friend who is a mother of four said that you don't start out doing all of it. You learn how to manage. Who knows if I will ever be able to manage......