blech. feeling low.

Have been staying in the high 180s for a couple of months now. I know why - it's not some metabolic abnormality, I just can't seem to stick to a weight loss intake level. One day I'll eat my target intake and the next, I'll eat like I used to when I was heavier.

It's starting to mess with my head and my self-esteem. I still have about 25 lbs to go before being at a healthy weight, and though I have lost and maintained double that, I find myself looking in the mirror and feeling just as fat as I ever felt at 240, sometimes even worse. I know it's false, I know I can't trust that feeling, but it's doing a number on me.

I've always been one to talk about loving yourself and being patient and not giving up - and I usually can follow my own advice, but not tonight. I'm not about to give up entirely and regain weight or anything, but I'm finding it hard to love my body right now.  I guess I could use a virtual hug or two.... :(

I know you don't know me, but *hugs.*

It's going to be okay.

Thanks. I appreciate it...

Virtual hug headed your way.

Sorry to hear you're feeling down.  Though we haven't ever really "spoken" you have always struck me as a women with a great deal of strength.  I'm positive you'll get through this.

Maybe you need to ease off for a while, increase your regular daily intake and focus instead on getting into a better healthy-eating habit instead?  If you restrict calories for any length of time it becomes quite stressful on the body so it's good to take a break occasionally.   A week or two maintaining on a very healthy diet and keeping up with some light exercise can allow you to regroup and then you can carry on to lose weight again.

Best of luck

I really admire how far you've come! Remember your accomplishments (which aren't just about weight, btw), and give yourself a break. Go do something productive and creative that's NOT about working out or eating healthy. Go throw a pot. Write a story. Build a table. And remember that you're not just constructing and creating things, but you're also constructing yourself and a healthier life.

Then sprint up Mont Royal. :)

This will be my first virtual hug ever:  *hug*

Thats how it goes, right?

I'm sorry you're feeling down.  You gotta keep on keepin' on.  And I agree - sometimes you need a little break to recharge.

I know... go pick up a 50lb barbell and try carrying it around with you all day.  You'll feel REALLY good once you put it down!  Congratulations on your accomplishments so far :)

Your weight loss speaks volumes. You are doing great. I agree with the others, just give yourself a break from thinking, thinking, thinking about it all the time -- and go have some fun. Maybe a new book or a new pair of shoes? I haven't lost nearly what you have but I feel the "blahs" some days, too (including today) - so I'm going to join you in trying to jump out of this blah mood. Hugs to you - write and let us know if you start feeling better. You have really done great; you will find the motivation (go look at an old pair of way-too-big pants!). Take Care.

Thanks for the support, everyone. I feel a little bit better today, though still feeling quite large and unwieldy. Doesn't help that even after my weight loss, I'm STILL the heaviest girl in my class... by a fair bit, no less. Every day I am surrounded by young slim brilliant girls. Ack.

But I guess I just have to keep on keepin' on. I wish I had kept a pair of my largest pants, that probably would have made me feel better! I suspect that I'm also using this as a procrastination tool for some schoolwork that I'm behind on.

Thanks again for the kindness. :)

Hi

You are doing great! Maybe you need to separate your struggle to lose weight with "who you actually are". You may be the heaviest girl in your class, but you have other parts of you that are not just weight. And not all slim girls are "brilliant". Some are actually quite annoying and self-centered. I teach high school so I see all kinds of kids. Would they have the self-discipline you have displayed? I doubt it.

Thanks iddings. :)

I'm 31 and in med school, and my classmates are all quite a bit younger than me, much more self-disciplined than I am, and quite bright. (On the downside there are definitely some anorexic and/or otherwise troubled girls among these overachievers).

My strong points with respect to my peers are a greater understanding of the world, a natural tendency to empathy, and a certain mental "quickness" that serves me well (I have to study less than others to get the same results). You're right though, I am more than my size, and I need to focus on the positive.

hello trustwomen. Hang in there. these are all good suggestions. I am feeling blue today but I think as justamom said. A new book or a new pair of shoes will elevates the mood:)

*hugs* It is really tough going back school after being away. One of my friends did something similar, and she is in her first year of nursing school. You have my respect for making that move, it is hard and most people are too scared to do something like that. You have already done great, it is really tough making the life change of going back to school on top of losing weight too. You shouldn't compare yourself to the other girls. There is always some thing that someone will seem to better than you at and can promise you some of those girls that you think are really thin and pretty are really very self-conscious and think that there is something wrong with them. You have to be brilliant too, it can't be just them, they don't let stupid people into med school. We all get down on ourselves sometimes, just hang in there and remember that you are doing this to improve your life (both the med school and losing weight).

Wow!  Going from 240 to 180 is no small feat.  I am impressed!

There are definitely times when I am feeling "larger than life," and this is usually due to water weight gain and feelings of depression during PMS.  Could this be what you are experiencing?

I know, for myself, that an increase in the amount of sun I get in a day has greatly improved my moods, not to mention the appearance of my skin.  Good old vitamin D. 

As for all the slim girls in your class, I'm sure they are not all as healthy as they appear.   And, as Ar-gyrion stated, they are probably pretty self-concious as well.

 

Keep up the great work!