Body Dismorphia...

Okay so heres the thing.  I'm 5'4 and 110 pounds...and I consider myself to look healthy/normal.  The otherday i was talking to my friend who is the same height who I consider to be very healthy/have a great body....she told me she is 135-140 pounds.  I couldn't believe it....I think she looks so fabulous..when I first started losing weight I was 140 pounds and I never saw myself that way.  Is it because I never really see myself except for in the mirror/pictures? I was thought that her and I had pretty much the same frame....Is this a form of body dismorphia or is my new body just need some time to get used to....does anyone else feel this way? you don't see yoursefl the way others see you? 

I'm 135-140 and I fit anywhere from a size 3/4 to a 5/6 depending on my weight and water rentention. I was 165-175 for like ever and at my biggest I was 205+. I used to feel so ashamed of my body at 165-175... and I was actually pretty proud at 155. Then I met my new bf and I suddenly felt like the tubbiest girl ever. I felt hella ashamed again, and way more than ever before. Not even wanting to be in pics.

Now at my weight I still feel like I look 155. It's very strange. And every once in a while I catch a pic of myself and I think. wow, I guess I am pretty thin. I am also 5 ft 4.5in. It's hard to tell... but you're right that in some degree I think we all look fatter to ourselves.  

I also think that I look slimmer in pictures.  I find other women always seem better proportioned than me but I think I am also more forgiving and appreciative of other people's unique beauty than my own.  I feel better about myself when I'm being active, but honestly I still have that "fat disgusted, why do I look heavier than I am feeling" on a regular basis.  I try to focus more on being a good person, a good worker and a healthy lifestyle than my appearance because I know I will never love how I look.  I think part of this attitude comes from growing up in an environment where all the women in my life would always put themselves down while talking catty about other women who seemed "too confident". 

Try to be proud of yourself.  Self-empowerment and strength is NOT to be confused with vanity.  Anyone who says otherwise is just a hater.

I have the same issue.  I don't know that it is technically body dismorphia but it is still an issue.  I constantly feel so much bigger than other people seem to think I am.  I think we all judge ourselves and are too harsh on ourselves sometimes.  It took looking at pictures to make me realize how thin I had been last summer and how unhealthy I started to look.  I also have friends who weigh more and look amazing.  I think it is partly due to body shape and body fat. 

She probably just has more muscle.  It weighs more and is more compact but also makes us look fab.

I dont think you are unrealistic about how you see YOURSELF but perhaps a bit blinded by meaningless numbers.

oh no she doesn't even workout! and i'm a competitive marathon runner! it's just me being crazy....

i agree that you definitely don't see yourself until you look at a photo...i always thought i had huge muscular legs. i saw  a photo of myself and i couldn't believe how much smaller i am....it's just hard to consciously put on weight when the mentality of most ppl is to work hard to take it off.

Cereal - I can completely agree 100 million % with you. Geez. It's sad but very comforting to hear someone else knows what we battle in our crazy little heads. lol. Makes me feel a little less nutso for being so emotional and silly about things.

Kaila - My legs are totally big too, and I have always been ashamed of my calves (massive!). One day at a wedding I was wearing a dress showing leg, and I looked at the pics and I thought - holy crap... my calves are hecka small and seriously solid! WAH-HOO! lol. I swear I had done the cabbage patch dance pics still in hand singing "who's got tight calves? Yeah yeah I got em! I got em!" lol.

And yeah muscle is so damn tricky; I weight the same now as I did 18 months ago (135 ish) and I also am 4 sizes smaller... all from weight lifting and endurance training cardio.

I know this sounds weird, but some folks just carry weight differently then others. This can be because of their body shape, weight distribution, muscle mass, etc. You could have BDD, or, your friend could simply carry her weight well.

I have a friend (had an ED for years, at its worst when we first met) who would always say, with horror, how much better I looked then her, how much thinner. At the time, I weighed 110. She weighed90 pounds. We are both 5'2". I had to actually get on HER special scale, the one she used 1,000,000 times a day, to prove my actual weight to her, She did not believe that I could weigh "that much" (she was being nice - to her, I looked good, but the number 110 sounded like Fat City. She was ill.)

Although my friend has recovered to a healthy weight (and I have gained some extra "happy weight"), she is perpetually convinced that I weigh 20 pounds less then I really do. I guess it's nice to hear, but I'm never sure if her perception is off, or if I carry my extra well.

My friend and I are the same height, and to look at you would say we are similar body shapes, but she weighs a good stone less than I do.  We swap clothes all the time (well - i say swap...she has a much better wardrobe so I do better out of it!! ;o) ) and quite often end up buying the same pairs of jeans etc...

I guess what I'm trying to say is weight is just a number, and a particular weight on one person may look totally different on another regardless of how similar they look.  As long as you are happy and healthy where you are now, that's all that matters :)

once, when i was overweight, i had a best friend who was about my height (5'4") and told me she weighed about 120-125 lbs. she was thin. not too skinny but definitely THIN, perfect i thought. it was a great source of jealousy for me all throughout my struggles with weight loss.

i am now fluctuating between 108-112 lbs and have been maintaining within that range for about a year. and not one day has gone by that i have looked in a mirror and saw someone as thin or who looked as good as i thought my friend did.. although from what is reflected back at me through other people's comments and what the scales tell me, i can only assume i am actually probably much thinner?

so yeah, id say it's quite possible that it's just your pre-conceived notions playing tricks on your eyes.

I feel the same as all of you too!  IN fact, a counselor I was seeing told me I had a very mild for of BDD.  I just wish I knew how to get past it....Cereal has a good outlook...

Original Post by tankgirl124:

My friend and I are the same height, and to look at you would say we are similar body shapes, but she weighs a good stone less than I do.  We swap clothes all the time (well - i say swap...she has a much better wardrobe so I do better out of it!! ;o) ) and quite often end up buying the same pairs of jeans etc...

I guess what I'm trying to say is weight is just a number, and a particular weight on one person may look totally different on another regardless of how similar they look.  As long as you are happy and healthy where you are now, that's all that matters :)

 I think this is also a major factor - body composition has so much to do with how you carry your 115 vs 130 lbs.

This does not mean you have a distorted body image. Everyone has different body types. 140lbs on someone the same height as you can look completely different on your body type. For example, my mom and I are the same height. She weighs 15lbs less than I do, but I have a better body. She has a very small frame and small bones. I'm bigger boned with more muscles. I would look too thin at her weight. Remember, your weight is just a number - it depends on how you LOOK, not what the scale says!

At 5'4 and 110 lbs, you probably look pretty thin no matter what your body composition is! I am also 5'4 med-small build and was a stable 110 for many years, and I always thought I had another 5 lbs to lose. Now I'm 116 and feel enormous (hence the diet at the moment), although almost everyone tells me that I look better/normal, etc. Actually the BMI counter on this website says that 110 is slightly underweight for someone 5'4 (and age 39), but I would still be happy to be there. We can thank the media for these perceptions!