Body Dismorphic

I just read a thread that made me think of something that happened on NYE. My roommate is anorexic and my best friend is naturally under 100 pounds. The three of us and some other people all went to a party. Before the party we were taking pictures. I was standing in between them and feeling REALLY uncomfortable. I thought, "Oh Great! I am going to look like a whale!." When the pictures came back we all looked the same size. I was shocked because in my brain I have always felt sooooo much bigger than them. Also, it was very obvious that I was trying to place my hands in front of my thighs so that they were not showing. I wasn't aware I was doing it at the time and it made me look so awkward. It would have been such a pretty picture if I had been confident and showed myself! This was a great lesson and maybe it will help others.  

WoW!~ Don't get me started!!  

I have such a weird perception of by body. . I got so big so fast recently that my brain has not had time to catch up with my actual size.  I used to think of myself as a sort of "fit, fat woman" or even "athletic, in a muscular way" and maybe I was back when I was 5'10" and 180 lbs, but I'm 260 now.  Even way back when I was smaller, people would say things like "Wow, I keep forgetting how big you are" or comments about the size of my hips/butt, or the relatives that felt they could make fun of my amazonian proportions for a laugh (It hurt my feelings).  I'm more aware of my size now.  That's why I'm here on CC now.

When I am taking pictures with naturally small people, I am VERY self conscious of it and HATE taking pictures.  In group photos, I natually migrate to the back with all the taller men.  I can hide my girth behind the people in  the first row nicely that way.

Unlike you, though, I am never pleasantly surprised by a normal looking person in the pics when they come out...I look just as fat as I thought I was and I am well aware of it.

*sigh*

 

 

I too hide in pictures. I think the only thing worse than being tall and large is being short and large. I'm 5'4" and weigh close to 250. I've always looked heavier in pictures, even in high school. I think that we have to work on losing the weight, but we shouldnt get so down on ourselves after looking at pictures.

To Ik1234: It's really great that you've had your epiphany and realized that you look wonderful ;-)

Original Post by martinabrym:

I think that we have to work on losing the weight, but we shouldnt get so down on ourselves after looking at pictures.

To Ik1234: It's really great that you've had your epiphany and realized that you look wonderful ;-)

You know, you are RIGHT!  I see that my attitude is focused on the negative.  And I want to also provide props to Ik1234 for starting to see a change in perception as well.  I will work at getting there too.

I had a similar experience, only the opposite way--I looked much larger than I expected.

I have a group of girlfriends who get together every year, from all over the country. From about 2001-2005, I saw myself get bigger and bigger in the photos. I put on about 40 pounds during that time. And then in 05 and 06, I gained 10 more, so that by July 2006 I was a good 50 pounds more than in the first photos in 2001. I lost about 25 of the pounds between July 2006 and March 2007, when we had our last get together.

I was expecting to see a noticeable difference in the photos and I was stunned when I couldn't see any. Granted I was only 15 pounds less than in the last photo, because my girlfriends had never seen me at my largest. And 15 pounds is not that big a percentage when you are talking 190 to 175. But still, I could see NO difference in the photo. I could see it in the mirror, and they all assured me that THEY could see it, too, but ...

Photos can be odd, and our self-image, even odder. Next time together will probably be this coming Sept. I'm DETERMINED to be down to my target weight by then (125), so that the picture is shocking for how small I look.

So you 'saw' yourself,eh? That is some gift, my dear girl. (you are a female, aren't you?)

I gained close to 15 pounds since September. At that time I got clean from a bad addiction to pain killers and I stopped smoking.

As part of my get healthy & live plan I also got my a$$ back to the gym, a place I avoided while I was using the past 5 years.

I did suffer from anorexia/bulmia back in the 80's. I got pregnant and that took care of that.

Now, at 53, I shy away from the scale. Even though I fit into my jeans I wore 15 pounds ago, because the scales read a higher number than I am comfortable with, and stll get obsessed.

Not sure where this is going, just felt connected to what was already written.

I have been trying to lose weight, but at my age, is a very difficult thing to do.  I do work out 5x a week at the gym.  Do an hour of cardio each time, and watch what i eat.

After 50 the metabolism slows down so much.  I thought it was tough at 30, then at 40.  Don't even want to think about what 60 will be like!  MAYBE it'll be better, yes? 

You know what I did from the start?  I took a before pic- specifically to see my changes.  Then about 6 months later, I started getting depressed that my workouts weren't doing anything.  I got out my camera and took some more pics-- in the same outfit from before (a sports bra and shorts).  OH MY!  It was such an inspiration.  That was 2006, before I got pregnant.  This year (2007), after having my fourth child, I did the same thing.  It's just great SEEing the results in pictures!  I'm still about 5-10 lbs away from my "goal", but I'm down 20 lbs and can see it in pics.  I probably would've given up otherwise because I just wasn't "feeling" small.  It just pushed me the rest of what I needed.

We are worth doing this journey and you and your family will be better off for us doing our part.  Keep it up!

 

I actually just had a similar experience as well...

I was cleaning out some old drawers and came across some old prom pictures from high school.  I began working out November of my junior year, so my pictures from junior year were 6 months into my workouts.  Compared to my senior prom pictures I was SO much thinner, longer, leaner, and toned in the senior year pictures (a year and 6 months of working out) even though I know that I weighed the same in each photo. 

This was really motivating for me because I actually see that my body does respond to workouts and not to pay attention to the scale because muscle truely does take up less space than fat!