How much is your body image...

...dependant on what other people think? Esp. your S.O.

I go to the gym everyday, and don't hate my body. Still have about 15 or so to lose, but I have lots of muscle tone too. But, my husband never comments/or notices, and we haven't been intimate in over 2 years. We're going to counseling, but my head is so screwed up now. I'm always obsessing over how I look, what I eat, and have total guilt when I miss the gym (even when I miss 'cuz I'm sick)...I just want to like myself again, but I find it hard to do alone?

Am I putting too much importance on a man's opinion of me? I know if I happened to meet someone who found me attractive, I'd feel so much better. But isn't that silly?

OK, pity party over. Just wanted to see how others out there dealt with this.

You are right, Patsy. Affection and foreplay do start in the morning with little things. This is what I hope to acheive in counseling. My husband does not get this. He isn't romantic, and hasn't been affectionate and attentive for a long time. When he wanted to fool around, he would just start it up, but of course I don't work that way. I need more time.

I read in a magazine that hinting/plotting your sexual adventures for the evening in the morning helped. So I tried that ("Hey sweetie, have fun at work...when you get home, we'll have some real fun "wink wink") or something like that. He never wanted to play that game, so I stopped.

I'm hoping that this is starting to sink in for him...we talk about in counseling, and he's getting a little better. But while there's a bit more affection, there's no passion, on either side. But there's only so much teaching I"m willing to do.

I realize that and you know your heart and how much you can take.