The body image on-off switch.

I received a comment recently implying that if I like my body fat, I have no business being on a weight loss forum. Or that it's hypocritical of me to do so. I've been mulling on it a bit.

I think that many people imagine body image as an on-off switch. You have it or you dont. And the switch is controlled by weight. Fat people shouldn't have a positive body image, if they have any interest in weight loss. And I think many overweight people think that reaching that one ideal number on the scale with flip the switch from nothing to awesome. Unfortunately I've never met anyone that works for.

I think that body image is quite independent of weight. It may more relate to general mental well-being. But overall, I think it's an independent concept. Some underweight people hate their bodies, some overweight people like there's. At any weight, I'm sure you could find quite a variety of people's perception of their bodies.

As for there being some contradiction between liking oneself and losing weight, I think that's silly. It's viewed as I like my body, but want to improve it. While a small change, I would say that I like my body AND I want to improve it. This seems obvious in other activities in life. I like my painting ability, and I would like to get better at it. When I walk/run a 15 minute mile, I'm ecstatic. No, I'm not winning races, but thats two minutes off my time from last week, and I'm nothing but proud and happy with my new found fitness efforts.... And I would like to improve it.

So, yeah, I like my body. The mirror is not my enemy, even naked. I liked my body at it's highest weight, I love the changes I'm seeing now. I can always find good things about my physique. I would still like to improve it. I think of body image as a continuum. On one end are those who HATE everything about their body and would sell there souls to change it. On the other are those who love their bodies so much, you couldn't pay them to change it. I think the extremes are rare (and bad), and most people fall somewhere in the middle. If one wants a better body image, it requires a slow progression up the continuum, not an overnight transformation or a scale number. For those with a good body image, it's in no way strange, odd, or hypocritical for them to continue to try and 'be nice' to that body they like, and even to improve it. And this doesn't just apply to the overweight. Just because a woman wants to tone up doesn't mean she doesn't like how she looks. Nor does a women at the ideal weight she spent years getting to necessarily like what she sees in the mirror.

As for the body image continuum, I like my body about 90% of the time. And I'm good with that. Liking my body makes me want to be healthier. Like improving you're favorite food. If I hate a food, I don't try and 'fix it up' I ignore it or force it down. If I love a food, I'll do a million different things with it to make it as good as possible. My body is the same way. Because I like it, I want to get as much out of it as possible. That means getting healthy (which includes losing weight), and getting fit.

I know I might get flamed for this, but I think bodies are way overrated. I go by how I feel. I might gain a pound or two and my favourite pants might feel just a bit too tight, but if I`m getting all my nutrients and staying active I still feel like a sex bomb, even with a bit of muffin top. I`m not even going to try to hide it with a loose shirt, because I know I look good when I feel good, and I feel good when I have energy.

I am seriously going to start referring to myself as a 'sex bomb.' That phrase is awesome.

And I agree, being healthy and active are much more important than looks. And I generally find them to be much more fulfilling goals.

And I'm sure you can rock a muffin top... *wink*
:) lol

I think it is a continuum and I do agree...I'm at my highest weight ever and I'm a "sex bomb" too and I love my body :O) Just working on getting healthy so I can live longer ;O)

Original Post by ily51:

I know I might get flamed for this, but I think bodies are way overrated. I go by how I feel. I might gain a pound or two and my favourite pants might feel just a bit too tight, but if I`m getting all my nutrients and staying active I still feel like a sex bomb, even with a bit of muffin top. I`m not even going to try to hide it with a loose shirt, because I know I look good when I feel good, and I feel good when I have energy.

Right on! Seriously I am convinced that body image and how your body actually look have very little to do with one another. I know a girl who is size 16 (US 12) and she's the biggest she's ever been yet told me she feels the best she ever has about how she looks.

I finally accepted my body and weight this time last year when I was the biggest I'd ever been. Still not huge but it was bigger than I'd been before. I looked at myself in the mirrror and went, OK, not perfect but this is me damnit and I'm ok with that! Stupidly I then lost 13lbs due to moving from a sedentary job to an active one and when I realised I'd lost the weight I started thinking, Oh god, now I neeed to lose more. I lost another 15lbs and am now tring to deal with the eating problems that arose.

I would much rather be bigger and happy with myself than stick thin and miserable. What's the point in that? However thin I am, if I can't be happy with myself and accept myself I will always want to be thinner.

EDIT: I wish there was a body image on-off switch so I could flick it on and everything would be wonderful :)

It just sounds silly -_- what does good body image has to do wit weight loss..? Just don't listen to whoever told u that. Why can't u want to lose weight without hating urself? I don't like myself n I AM losing weight to boost my body image, but srsly I know it won't help, self-hatred is psychological. It just saddens me to hear about the existance of such silly people..

Body image and appearance were never motivators for me to lose weight.  I wasn't happy with the way clothes fit me, but other than that I never had a problem with how I looked.  I knew I needed to lose weight, but could only get myself to diet intermittently - the old yo-yo effect.  I never thought I was ugly and never hated myself.  That makes it a little hard for me to understand people who have that self loathing and self blame.

Then my health started to go.  Now that's a motivator!  I love life and want to live it to the fullest and I couldn't do that if I was disabled.  So here I am, 50 pounds lighter after joining CC in 2006, having already lost 20 pounds, and 25 more pounds to go to get to a normal BMI.

The rewards are many - my cholesterol tested last month at 160, down from the 230 mark.  My sleep apnea is almost completely gone!  My knees don't hurt anymore. I don't feel exhausted just getting out of bed.  My poor ticker is still weak; that's congenital and won't get better, but it doesn't have to work as hard, so some of my medications have been cut back, along with their side effects. There is still no sign at all of cardiovascular disease!  If I do need heart surgery in the future, it will be a lot less risky if I'm thin.  I still have episodes but I'm feeling a lot better most of the time. 

Being able to buy clothes off the regular racks and not the Plus Size department is a big bonus, but not the most important thing.

i think you are correct that body image is more of a mental thing.

also: how you state that although you like your body, you are still striving for improvement.

to be honest? i wish i had the ability to always find good things about my body.

body image and appearance may not be motivators to some losing weight, but i feel it is to many.

but again, i agree with minda *hell must've frozen over! * that body image is probably more of a mental thing.  so i suppose using that as a motivating factor sort of leaves one trapped.

i know no one cares, least of all the OP, but i just wanted to comment also that i, for one, appreciate the content, style, and manner of this thread vs. the few others that seemed to adopt the opposite vibe.

no flames from me today

p.s. - clairelane i love your sketches :)

Original Post by musicalfishmich:

to be honest? i wish i had the ability to always find good things about my body.

Yup, me too. My friend goes to this group therapy type thing where they try to find out why they gained weight and adopt healthy attitudes and habits to losing it again.

One of the things she's been told was that every time you look in the mirror focus on one thing you like. Every time you think something bad about yourself reverse it and think something nice. Even if you don't believe it.

I haven't got the hang of it yet but am going to carry on trying!

I was just about to post on an experience I had with body image.  I had pretty much accepted myself at my top weight but it involved not looking closely at myself in the mirror and avoiding looking at photos of myself.  It was a truce which was such an improvement over the self-loathing and repeated, failed yo yo dieting.  Well, I've shaped up a lot with weight lifting, changed my eating habits and lost 15 pounds in 4-5 months and, ironically, I'm now willing to look at myself in the mirror at more angles.  I saw myself sitting down a few days ago and was pretty horrified at the size of my butt, thighs and stomach.  It really threw me for a loop because I have been enjoying getting into all these smaller sizes, seeing definition appear on my arms and all kinds of other great changes. 

So, it wasn't my size or weight, per se, but a "relapse" to some disordered, distorted thinking.  There's a pair of jeans (now too loose for me) that when I first got into them (and they were snug)a few months back, I went dancing 2 nights in a row I felt so energetic, curvy and sexy.   It IS all about energy. 

The image of have of myself in my mind's eye, however, is leaner and fitter and I would like to help my body achieve that.  It's a version of myself I prefer.

I want to commend the Original Poster for having achieved a much healthier outlook than many of us.  It's a perspective to aspire to and live by because it's right.

I am still coping with body image issues at 48.  Had an interesting experience when my daughter and I went on a trip together and when we got home and looked at the photos, she had taken one of me from behind and at first, I couldn't understand why she snapped this picture of a stranger.  The person in the photo looked normal sized to me and that is not how I see myself...

I agree that body image and being overweight aren't necessarily linked. It depends on the individual person.

There are a lot of overweight people that love their bodies, and of course a lot  that don't. Probably more that don't (depending on your culture) just because of health risks and it being viewed more negatively. Then again, that really only applies if your obese, not if you just got a little  belly.

I have terrible body image issues, some if them because of my weight. I'm not classified as being overweight at all, but I still see that roll, still see the bulge, and it makes me feel terrible about myself. It's stupid little petty things that I shouldn't get hung up on...that sadly I do.

The self-hate and desperation are really crippling and I see it all over the place on this site.  When other people are going through it, I'm sad for them, and I think, "Geez, they've got a ways to go."  But I can get there too.  Fortunately, I no longer believe it completely when I go to the place of despair and total self-hate.  I guess that's really the essence of an "eating disorder" more than the actual disordered behavior for me. 

It is objectively insane that a gifted, intelligent, gentle, creative, strong, insightful, loving person would spend a majority of her life locked in body obsession and self-hate and literally 100s of failed dieting attempts , but that has been my story.  I'm entering new chapters now with CC, but can still fall prey to the old horror at my body.  Lately, it's not just fat, but signs of age that can really throw me off.  I'm so sad that my weight loss story couldn't have happened when I was a younger woman. 

It's more stuff to process and grow through, but it's very real, very painful.  I have always marveled at people who are unselfconscious and/or positive about their bodies.

I like myself more now than I did when I weighed 120 lbs.  I have a better outlook on life (physically, mentally, emotionally etc.) than I did a few years ago.  I am trying to loose weight for health reason, but I also like the results I see in the mirror.  My family history really stinks health wise, so I'm trying to redirect my health for the better the best I can.

I know I don't have the "perfect" body, but I like what I see in the mirror.  Again as the OP said, trying to improve what I have.  Also, once I accepted me for who I am, it was much easier to change the things in my life needed to loose the weight. 

Original Post by newdays18:

I had pretty much accepted myself at my top weight but it involved not looking closely at myself in the mirror and avoiding looking at photos of myself.  It was a truce which was such an improvement over the self-loathing and repeated, failed yo yo dieting. 

Thanks for this insight.  I have been struggling to understand how I allowed myself to get this obese, in spite of being relatively active and having a relatively healthy diet.  And I think that I just continued to have a good self-image even though I was steadily getting fatter and fatter by this kind of denial.  I only looked at myself in the mirror to comb my hair, and hated all pictures that include me, because I didn't want to really confront my obesity.

I have been successfully improving my health (and body appearance) this year, and have been surprised at how easy (relatively) it has been for me.  Something finally clicked for me that allowed me to love my body (as well as  loving the interior me) as it is, and also to want to improve it. 

When my husband and I were courting, he said he hated the word "but".  As in, I love you, but I wish you would _____.   We have always tried to practice saying I love you, and I wish you would (do the dishes, or whatever).  May be just semantics, but it has kept our marriage strong and full of unconditional love.

So, now I am practicising saying "I love my body, and I will restrict calories and move more so that I will be healthier, happier, fitter (and more beautiful).  If we give our family unconditional love, why not give it to ourselves?

my self esteem always seems to be contigent on how my clothes fit and how much time i spend looking in the mirror.

If my clothes just came out of the dryer, chances are my self esteem is going to be low.  After a few hours of wearing the clothes, giving them some time to stretch out, I might end up feeling awesome about myself.   Also, this might sound weird, but I tend to feel better about myself when I wear sneakers vs. flip flops.  I guess they make me feel sturdier or something and when I wear flip flops its so much easier to just drag my feet.  I dont know.  Maybe Im weird.

Also, if I spend too much time looking in the mirror I can go from thinking I look good to noticing all of my flaws.  Sometimes i just have to walk away.

Original Post by jessicasbc:

Also, if I spend too much time looking in the mirror I can go from thinking I look good to noticing all of my flaws.  Sometimes i just have to walk away.

this couldn't be more true..

 To be honest I started working out and eating healthy because I wanted to look better. But I have kept working out and eating healthy because I like how I feel better.  One day I can feel great and the next day I feel lousy.   When I start to feel crappy about how I look I start think of just how amazing my body is...not how it looks but how much I can lift or how far or fast I can run.  This make me appreciate my body and health.