Born in a country and raised around the world....

Hi there!

I am 25 years old, born in France, and was raised in 11 countries (my dad worked for an oil company). I don't really feel french. I speak and write better English then in french, speak 3 languages and don't know much about my own country.

We kept on moving every 3 years or less, i have lived on all continents and actually at one point considered Indonesia my home and not France. When people ask me where i am from i have to tell them that to be honest I'm from all over... or that I'm french ... according to my passport.

I was wondering if any of you had the same childhood where your parents' job took around the world, where have you lived and how do you know where you really belong?

"Wherever I lay my hat, that's my home"....

Where you 'belong' rather depends on where you want to belong. Everyone can determine that for themselves to a certain extent.  It's traditional to pin your nationality to your birth country (that makes you French) but the rest is entirely up to you.  Identity depends on where you happen to be at the time, who you're talking to and what context.   When I'm with my Belgian colleagues I'm 'British'.  I've lived in the South of England for over half my life but I'm still a 'Northerner'.   But when I'm back in my Northern home town I'll still say I live 'down South'.  At a football match I'm a 'United supporter'.  In fact, that's sometimes a good straw poll test of identity ... if France were playing football against an Indonesian team, who would you be cheering for most?

American people have their own way of claiming duel identity.... 'African American' or 'Italian American'.....  You could be a 'French Indonesian' on that basis... sounds quite 'Days of Empire'.  

You just have slightly more interesting location choices than others... Make the most of it.

Original Post by sintiachita:

Hi there!

I am 25 years old, born in France, and was raised in 11 countries (my dad worked for an oil company). I don't really feel french. I speak and write better English then in french, speak 3 languages and don't know much about my own country.

We kept on moving every 3 years or less, i have lived on all continents and actually at one point considered Indonesia my home and not France. When people ask me where i am from i have to tell them that to be honest I'm from all over... or that I'm french ... according to my passport.

I was wondering if any of you had the same childhood where your parents' job took around the world, where have you lived and how do you know where you really belong?

My dad works for an oil company too! I was also born in France, and since have lived in 3 countries. according to my passport I'm dutch, but I can barely speak the language, and my family is Turkish. I'm also quite confused!

But to be honest, I kind of like the idea of not "belonging" to any one place. Although it kinda also makes me feel like I have no "real" home. I don't mind it much.

Hi sk33ny

interesting to find someone that had a similar childhood. In which countries did you grow up? For which company does your father work? Where do you live now?

For my side, well i have kept on going, this year will be my last year in Cambodia and am looking forward to my new destination. Even though i want to keep on travelling sometimes it feels wrong, like all my family is now in France living there, my dad retired (fed up of the expat life) and went back to france.. so im all alone abroad which feels weird...I would like to get closer to them, but in no way do i want to live in france, its weird but thinking of living there just makes me sad, like  its boring and full of french eheh... changing countries, being on the move, packing and unpacking is what i know.. perhaps i haven't found the country where i see myself living for 10 years.. erhaps i will find it in the future

GI Jane:

Thanks for your comment and i do understand what you mean, however i don't think you could actually relate to the feeling of being lost, not knowing where you belong. Not feeling comfortable being in your own country and talking to other people of same nationality.. its just a weird feeling...  and as for your question i never support france in any sports (i'm always for the other country, which ever)... like if any other country is better then france..weird... i do go to france for holidays to see my family, 2 weeks is ok ... one month is too long.. how can i feel all this, feeling of rejecting france eventhough i dont know it... just feels weird.

Perhaps one day i would actually need to move back, or even travel there to see more of my country

Come to the U.S.  We are all from nowhere and everywhere.

Plus-- we are mean and nasty and the french pale in comparison!  (dont let anyone tell you different!)

Really though, what a terrible position to be in...wanting roots but disclaiming them.  It sounds like you want to be claimed rather than to make a decision to claim...

As an American, I dont have a whole lot of insight or experience-- I am claimed no matter what I do (tho I used to say eh a lot to try to avoid the American inference...).  Maybe being outside the box is better than being in the box?  despite the fact that it is so uncomfortable?

Wanting roots but disclaiming them.. thats exactly what i feel.. very weird. Perhaps my thoughts of roots and where i want to belong will come in later on in the future....

I guess for now i will have figure out where i want to live and where i want to be..

My children were raised around the world. We spent 10 years in Germany and traveled around Europe. Lived in Greece 5 yrs. and misc. places in the U.S.  home wasn't until we retired and they were in ending High school and we stayed here. They have bought house and started families here too. As you get older and find a place of your own it will probably become home.