My boss keeps bothering me about my weight?

Last week I worked at a young adults camp for people with disabilities and all week my boss kept bothering me about my weight. Like yesterday for example we were goal setting and I asked him what a good goal would be and he goes to lose weight. This really bothers me! I'm 5'2" tall and weigh 120 pounds; why would he keep harassing me like this? This wasn't the only thing he said about my weight. This is really frusterating; just when I'm happy in my shorts and tanktops my boss thinks it's okay to harass me about my weight. How should I handle this? Thanks.

Does your boss have a boss? Do you have a human resources person that you can go to? That sort of behavior is absolutely unacceptable (not to mention unprofessional) in the workplace. He is creating a hostile environment for you, and should be reported to either his supervisor or HR. Document everything offensive he says so that you will have a paper trail to back your story up.

Plus, if he thinks someone who is 5'2" and 120 lbs (a perfectly healthy weight) needs to lose weight, he is obviously a moron as well.

You should report this to HR if that is an option in your situation.  Goal setting should be work-related, not personal.  And your boss should not be making personal comments in the work place. Period.

If he continues; I probably will go to HR. My family tells me I'm too sensitive but I'm 19 years old and don't really need weight comments especially when I am at a normal weight.

Corinth13, I want to reassure you that you are not being too sensitive, your boss's commments are completely, unequivicollay inappropriate and unprofessional.  Not to mention illegal.  You should not have to put up with this.

You have every right to think this is not OK. And as mentioned it's illegal. Not sure what your relationship is like with him aside from the comments (are you able to talk - do you otherwise get along well) but I'd for sure talk to his boss and see if you are able to first chat with him before they do. Pull him aside and tell him how it makes you feel when he pokes at you like this and mention that besides being hurtful and unprofessional that it is also illegal. If he blows you off report that back to his manager. But he may actually appreciate a direct approach and back off. Which you can also report to his manager that the talk went well. You win both ways. You have covered your azz by notifying management what was going on but also offered to try to solve the problem on your own and be able to report back the results.

What a jerk - and he'd be a jerk even if he wasn't your boss.

Since he is your boss - yeah, go to HR if it happens again.  And definitely tell him that he's being a jerk when he is (OK, you may want to be more PC about it - I'm not good along those lines).

OMG that's terrible. NO-ONE has a right to comment on your weight like that but from your boss it's absolutely not on. I would calmly but firmly tell him you do not find it acceptable behaviour. Tell him even if he means it as a joke or something you are not comfortable with it. If you're shy or would find that difficult to say (I would) then is a polite, firm, professional email an option?

If, after that, he does it again then go straight above his head and report him to everyone and anyone!!

Good luck

PC ANSWER:  Go to HR, etc, it is not appropriate to comment on ANYONES weight, either directly or indirectly

NON PC ANSWER:  Tell him to ***k *ff ....

I would reccomend talking it over with your boss first. He may just be joking around. Not that it's acceptable in any way shape or form, but men can be pretty naive when it comes to this subject. If the comments don't stop, or you hear about him talking with other team members, go directly to HR, do not pass go, do not collect tw-- wait. You may actually be able to collect 200 dowers! =)

Seriously, I would talk to your boss first. Going over his head like that might cause problems. If you don't get a satisfactory response from him take him down kujo style.

You do not have to talk with him other than to ask him to refrain.  If going over his head causes issues, tough.  Ask him to refrain from making what you consider to be personal comments on your figure and lifestyle, and also tell HR that you have done this, so there is a paper trail.  It is not appropriate.  I once got told by airlines that the glasses I had "did not fit our image" and "would I please buy more discreet ones" [this was the early 90's and I still had Raquel Welch style bigger frames, or Diedre Barlow's for our UK members LOL] ... the same ones I had on in my accepted application photos. 

I told them a) they were discriminating against me and b) when I got out on line and earned more than the training pittance, I would consider it. 

I never heard another word, funny that .....

What I am confuse? He thinks that you arefat!! What!!! Any way, he has no right!!!! so report him!!

That is inappropriate - if I were you I would talk to HR about how to handle the situation.  You're not being sensitive.  He is creepy and inappropriate and probably says things like this to other people.  If he says something again, tell him that is extremely inappropriate and unprofessional and then talk to HR asap.

I would definately document any comments he makes regarding your weight.  Yes his comments are illegal.  This can be harder to tackle if your boss is the top bannana.  Easier if you have an HR department to rely on.

The idea about confronting your boss is not a bad one.  But it is not easy to do and, though job termination would be illegal, he may fire you any way.  Of course that is grounds for a law suit, but consider if loseing your job is something you can do right now. 

You will also need to go armed with facts and a cool head.  Know what the law says in your state regarding harassment.  Take a copy of that law with you and present it to your boss.  Set aside a time to approach your boss.  Dont just lash out in self defense.  Document the exchange.   But personally - I would let Hr handle it if you can. 

The guy is clearly wrong. But what worries me is that because you are young and clearly NOT overweight, these comments may actually be sexual in nature.  Does he comment on your clothing?  Does he stand too close or touch you in any way that makes you uncomfortable? Does he do these things to other young women? 

Blech - he leaves a bad taste!

Original Post by cucumberlube:

Seriously, I would talk to your boss first. Going over his head like that might cause problems. If you don't get a satisfactory response from him take him down kujo style.

 this^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I am the same height and weight as you are. I feel good about myself, but my husband tends to make little jokes like going to my belly when were in bed and saying that he hears two heart beats. So I start feeling bad about myself and now he has learned to keep his damn mouth shut.

I have to say I would just go over the boss only since I would feel uncomfy talking with the boss about something that he is doing wrong. If you can handle talking with him I would go right ahead and do it. I would tell him if he keeps it up than you will go to HR and have something done about it and that he could lose his job.

and of course another thought just struck me ... what on earth is a creep like this doing around disabled girls and boys ?????????????????  Sounds like the perfect environment for such a person ..............

Alright; I will probably go talk to HR because I was getting angry. The people we were working with weren't girls and boys they were older and above the age of 20. I don't know if he is jealous because he has a physical disability and I can be physical and he can't or if he was just having a bad day but still he should be more professional. Thank you everybody for all of the advice! :)

I just thought of something else you can do -

When he makes another comment say something like "Oh?  I was under the impression that I am doing a good job.  Is my weight affecting my work?  Perhaps I missed the weight requirement in the employee manual.  Will you please point that section out to me?"

Seem sincere.  He will get the message I am sure.

Don't do anything that will get you fired - pick your fights and learn which ones are important enough to you to risk your income.

Are you really willing to risk your job because of this stupid man?  If you are - go for it.  While you can't buy food or shelter with principles you can build character.

Life is full of these people and sometimes you can change who they are.  Sometimes you have to act because if you don't - well - you'll go nuts.  Sometimes you have to act out of a sense of duty, or moral imperative.

I am a lawyer and I practice a lot of employment law - and unless you have a union to protect you - criticizing your boss WILL OFTEN get you fired - regardless of the legality.  The reason - your only recourse if you get fired is to sue - and you will only likely receive 2 weeks pay for your troubles.  Your costs will likely be more than that.

That said - if you really think this is a situation you must fight - go for it.  And hey - if you get fired - you won't be able to afford food - and you'll lose more weight!

Original Post by legaleli:

Don't do anything that will get you fired - pick your fights and learn which ones are important enough to you to risk your income.

Are you really willing to risk your job because of this stupid man?  If you are - go for it.  While you can't buy food or shelter with principles you can build character.

Life is full of these people and sometimes you can change who they are.  Sometimes you have to act because if you don't - well - you'll go nuts.  Sometimes you have to act out of a sense of duty, or moral imperative.

I am a lawyer and I practice a lot of employment law - and unless you have a union to protect you - criticizing your boss WILL OFTEN get you fired - regardless of the legality.  The reason - your only recourse if you get fired is to sue - and you will only likely receive 2 weeks pay for your troubles.  Your costs will likely be more than that.

That said - if you really think this is a situation you must fight - go for it.  And hey - if you get fired - you won't be able to afford food - and you'll lose more weight!

 It's a two month internship. I'm 19 years old and don't have an income it's just a part time job for things like gas and some food. I don't want to sue I just wanted to know what I should do about him. I am not fat eaither btw I don't need to lose weight.