My boyfriend cheated on me with more than one girl.

So, I don't know where exactly this should go, but I decided to post it in the YCC forum because I'm 17 and other teens might be going through the same thing.

In december, I found out that my boyfriend of 15 months cheated on me with a 14 year old girl. He was 18. Not only is that illegal, but it made me really depressed and only heightened the voice of my ED. =( I broke it off with him in January when he had sex with the same girl for a second time.

I still loved him... I had a huge crush on him since the 9th grade when I first laid eyes on him, but ended up not dating him until grade 11. I thought everything was perfect- nothing could separate us, we went everywhere together, and we liked each other very, very much.

I was actually considering getting back together with him just recently... so I talked to him about it, and he said he had to come clean about something. He'd had sex with another girl, one whom I had been great friends with and had known for a long time. I'm completely devastated.

I feel like I can't trust anyone anymore. I don't even know what to do with myself... I'd kept myself available since january for him... and now he tells me THIS? Someone's ass is going to get seriously kicked.

I really hate teenage boys.

Find someone else. He sounds like an ass.

I'm sure you are hurting a lot right now.  The best revenge is not letting him stain you heart.  You should feel the pain right now, learn from it and take charge.  If someone cheats on you, it is about him, not you.  Why you pick **** like that, you need to figure out about yourself. 

 

Original Post by sheblardin:

Find someone else. He sounds like an ass.

Thanks. I think I just might. >=(

I'm also thinking that my "friend" is an ass too.

Oh, and did I mention that I wasn't allowed to even GLANCE at other men while I was dating him? Yeah. How ironic.

Original Post by memorycatcher:

I'm sure you are hurting a lot right now. The best revenge is not letting him stain you heart. You should feel the pain right now, learn from it and take charge. If someone cheats on you, it is about him, not you. Why you pick **** like that, you need to figure out about yourself.

Thank you.. I'll try not to let this hurt me too much. =( I've been in many crappy relationships before, but none of them ended like this. I guess it just takes some time to find someone who can treat you right..

just speaking from experience here; boys are hornballs... and then there are young boys who are SERIOUS hornballs. Not to say that you can't have self-control when your young too, but honestly I blame most of this on age, hormones, experience, age, age, age, and oh yeah age.

Seriously hun, it has nothing to do with you, and you will both move on to bigger and better things, people, places, etc. and this will all just be a moment of time in your life. You're an adorable girl with a ton to give and learn & he's just a boy with a stick and no hole to stick it in (capice?). So don't fret, forgive him for his "boyness" and move on. You're a woman now and you obviously have a good head on your shoulders... go on with your bad self!! ;D

Thank you Malynda.. I agree that guys at this age are all hornballs (lol!) because all of the other relationships I've been in have been geared around sex; and when I wouldn't give myself to them, it was over.

Also, thank you for the kind words.. I feel better now after being told that this isn't the end of everything... :) I -am- a woman now, and I deserve a man, not a horny boy! Lol!

Love yourself enough to find someone who will treat you like a queen.  BTW - when you start loving yourself, you tend to lose weight and you become more attractive to really great guys.  Don't look back at this loser.  Been there done that and it ain't worth it.

Heya

 

So sorry to hear that you have been hurting, it's not nice I know :) However! I think perhaps you should spend a little time by yourself, get some girlfriends to take you out and have some fun! I am 19 and have been single for about 4 months since I was about 13, I have totally lost myself in various boys and I don't know who I am any more, so I suggest perhaps not hopping on to someone else (not literally) and take it easy with you and your friends... as for your friend who screwed around with your boyfriend, ditch her, she isn't a friend, if she was she would know her limits. I had someone who did that to me when I was 15, she had the same first name as me and everything... I was not a happy bunny!!

 

Just have fun and let someone lovely come to you :)

xxx

I agree with the first reply - Total ass!

When I was 16/17 I was seeing a guy who then cheated on me. I gave him a second chance but he then did it with another 4 different girls.

Go & have fun with friends & don't worry too much about being in a relationship. If I could change one thing it would be that when I was younger I did more with friends rather than having him pull me down.

I know it hurts A LOT right now.....

...but keep in mind that you are young, and you'll get over it. You'll meet and date TONS of guys before you meet 'the one' anyway, so just move on. Go out and have fun with your friends, date around.

NO ONE deserves to get cheated on, and at your age you can be as picky as you want....so go get some hot ass guy who'll spoil you!

Yea, he sounds like an ass....but HE'S young, too....he might be your 'first love' but he def won't be your last! LOL

Good luck hun!

I know it is hard to be hurt by someone you care about.  Just remember - he is NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR  YOU!  You deserve someone that will respect you and your relationship.  If he is running around with other girls he does not respect either.

It is hard to move on but that is really what you need to do.  Try not to fall back into old habits by being with him becuase he will never change.  It may be difficult to not see him but it is the best thing you can do right now. Stay strong and make sure you take care of yourself first right now.

Hi, I really feel for you. I have just ended the only relationship I ever had - for different reasons - but I know how hard it is to move on. I am 17 as well and this was my first relationship but I understand how it feels to put so much emotion/feeling into someone and then you lose them. But eventually, you realize you need and deserve better. Plus you are very beautiful so there is no doubt you will find someone better. :)

 There's honestly not a whole lot you really can do, just gotta get back up and decide you're not going to let someone like that have an effect on your life and your happiness.

I remember that I once had a girlfriend who I had been with for a year.. I had been in situations a few times where girls were trying to get me to cheat knowing I had a girlfriend, but I always refused.. Just a couple months later she told me she had cheated on me.. that really sucked. 

Basically, you've just gotta move on. No advice can really help you do that, since everyone has to handle it in their own way. It's ok to feel sad, depressed, or frustrated for a bit. We're all only human.

But be careful if you find yourself hating him too much. He's only human too, and he'll reach the consequence of his actions at some point in time. Let that work itself out and don't let it affect you anymore than it has to.

What an ass.

I'm so sorry you had to go through this.  You deserve so much better than that.  What you need to realise is that his cheating has nothing to do with you; it's something that he did and it's something that he has to be held responsible for.

Use this as an opportunity to get to know yourself better.  Spend the time enjoying yourself and forget losers like him.  There are plenty of better men out there for a pretty lady such as yourself :]

Honey,

You have to move on.  Once a cheat, always a cheat.  I stayed with the same man for 5 years through college because I "loved him" so much and he was fooling around constantly behind me.  Not only do you have to worry about your self esteem, but the fear of STD's are real and so is AIDS.  That alone should have you running the other way.  I wrote a book called, "YOu've Got Male" by Laura Jane.  You can probably get it for cheap now on Amazon.  It's about how women compromise themselves to have a man in their life.  It's got some truth from my actual life and some made up; however, I loved the book review I received that stated teenage girls and young women should read the book to see how internet dating and dating in general can cause young women to "change" themselves to match the men they love.  I have been in love about 4x and each one is different.  I have finally met a man, who I never would have guessed would be my soul mate.  Not the guy(s) in my book.  I'm really not trying to sell it to you...maybe a used book store has it?  I don't know.  It's just that my hopes in writing it was to help women that lose themselves emotionally when they meet someone they feel is the right fit for themselves.  I at 46 am still learning how to feel like I am worth all the trouble.  I wasn't raised to feel that way and I fight those early nurturing messages every day.  I do know that my man right now makes 1/3 of my salary but pays for almost everything.  He pays for groceries because he eats at my house.  He takes time out for my kids and he does things with /for me, even though he doesn't want to because I do the same for him.  It's gotta be equal.  Good luck to you.  Remember that you are worth so much more.  Don't let the security of a familiar face make you forget who you are.  Hugs.

He had sex with a fourteen year old girl? That's illegal. If you're really angry with him, you could always report him to the police...but that would cause even more problems.

Anyway, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and from what you've said, probably all the other ones are better than that scum of a guy. He's the bacteria that feasts on algae, that's what he is.

Don't let his being an ass define who you are or how you feel about yourself.  I'm not a teenage girl, but I have been there.  I promise, while it truly is devastating right now you will move through this.  And if you can come out on the other side triumphant and self esteem intact, you will have just gotten a little stronger.

Crappy relationships happen to everyone--it's what you do with them that matters.  The next guy, maybe you will know the signs and be able to get out if things don't seem right.  I had a ton of crappy relationships--they were just paving the way for me.  All of those **** I dealt with before make me sooooo appreciative of the wonderful man I am married to now.  We've been married 12 years and we still don't take each other for granted. 

Take time and mourn the passing of this relationship--(give yourself a time limit) and then when you are done, go and have sooo much fun you will say "John Doe, WHO?"  Your friends are what count at that age---enjoy them! 

He is an ass and will never love you as much as you've cared about him. In fact, he doesn't care about you at all. I'm sorry, I know this sounds harsh, but you have to face the truth. You deserve better. You deserve to be happily in love with someone who respects you and is faithful to you. He is obviously not that person.

 

** And I would report him to the police. We have a right and duty to report child abuse and/or rape of a person at any age.

You're young, and have somewhat of an artistic eye.

Use the pain to create, I say!

 

(Corny, but somewhat applicable)

hey hey hey,  its not just guys that do it.  I was going out with my gf for almost 2 years, like 2 months b4 our anniversary my best friend came and confessed to me that they had "messed" around while I was dating her and that he wasn't the only one. I had been best friends with him for around 6 years, we still talk once in awhile and  I have forgiven him, but things arnt the same now.  I feel like I have trouble trusting girls now although i do manage to.  I actually get mad at myself sometimes that I want to be more trusting again but I cant seem to bring my self to it and am always thinking "what if"   =[    arg only if PEOPLE could be loyal