Did you get a boyfriend?

A huge pressure on me because I am 33 and I don't have a bf.

I started to get angry... actually, this is one of the reasons behind my weekend binges. I ruined my diet because of the stress.

My mom calling me asking this question, my boss at work, even my roommates.

so what? do I need to grab someone and ask him out?

Just a rant.

Not unless you genuinely want to.

 

Think about it. That wouldn't be fair to the guy at all.

And if that was my mom, I would tell her right out that at 33, she has NO RIGHT to communicate with my boss without my permission. Talk about never letting kids leave the nest. =/

Feanor: Actually, my mom doesn't communicate with my boss. they don't even know each other. What I meant was I hear this question wherever I go.

you know I was joking.. of course, I am not going to grab anyone..lol

How can I deal with this so I continue my weight loss plan? any ideas?

I read it as her mom, boss, and roommates are asking her.

Anyway if you would like to have a bf, then maybe you should go out and grab someone (not literally :P) and ask them out if you see someone who interests you. There's always the online dating/meeting sites, that's how I met all but 1 of my bf's. If you don't care about having one, then are you telling them how much this is getting to you? 

Hehe.. the picture I got in my mind was everyone harassing you to get a boyfriend when you didn't really want to! But it doesn't really matter what they think.. it's your life and your business. You shouldn't "need" to do anything.

Just tell them straight out that you don't like them asking you all the time. Ask for a private word first-- this will emphasize your seriousness if you can step into a separate quiet space together. 

You should working getting a BF when the time is right for you. Ignoer the others. They are just adding stress. If you let the stress show you'll look desperate and often guys can sense that and it will reduce your level of attractiveness to them.

Seems to me we usually find people when we aren't looking for them. Relax make you life what you want it to be - happy and things will fall into place in there own good time.

Oh and when one finds you - you find him - don't get to wrapped up in it too fast.

thanks everyone. :)

Trainwreck: this is so true. but how can I ignore the others? any ideas? tips?

I don't know how one can find me? :)) I am so hard to find. :)

For a female coworker: "A boyfriend! What a great idea; what's your husband's phone number?"

For a male coworker: "I'm not interested in you that way, but thanks for asking." (This is likely to confuse the male coworker. That's okay; in fact, that's preferable.)

For your mom, assuming she has a good relationship with your dad: "You know, Mom, I think when they made Dad, they broke the mold. My standards are as high as yours are, and men like Dad just don't come around very often." (Come to think of it, this would work if your Mom hates your Dad, too... :-D )

For your boss: "I prefer to concentrate on my work; is that okay with you?" (Is a boss really going to say "No" to this? I hope not!)

Oh, I missed the roommates. For them: "Well, start dating so I can poach your men!" Or: "What makes you think I haven't been dating? Your boyfriend and I are very discreet!"

I barely have enough hot water as it is, the last thing I need is some one using it all up.

My bed is only a queen size, and I and am a queen.

I like the house fairly quiet, I would need a mute.

I have a 10 foot shower head massager, realisticly who can compete with that?  

 

athena_tavener: LOL .. here is some info:

My roomate doesn't have a bf. she is looking.

My boss ( a female) is not married nor had a bf.

My mom doesn't hate my dad..:) but she is like any other mom .. you know.. she just wanted her girl to get married..

I don't want to change the tone with my boss even she deserves it but I really need my job right now.

sometimes, I wonder if having a bf really that important?

Thanks everyone.

I used to think I really needed one, and I currently have a guys now who regularly ask me to marry him (no ****) and I think it's because I have decided I really don't want any one in my life, and I think that makes me more attractive.

 I get the "I don't want to die alone" moments but it's always that I'm afraid of being alone at a point in the future, in the moment I like my space and my house. When I start thinking about where a guy would put his stuff I get all freaked out.

of course I am not normal :) 

For years my parents asked me when I was getting married. (They sort of skipped the entire "boyfriend" issue, entirely.)  I would just smile, and reply "If I get married, it will be when God brings the right man into my life."  I remember one day my mom just stared at me the longest time and said, "Oh, OK ... you're a religious fanatic. OK, I suppose that's alright ... we thought maybe you were a lesbian."

 Parents ... what a joy, huh?

=^..^= MOLLY

FWIW I have never had a boyfriend.

thank you Molly. this is very true. I should not stress out over this any more.

Since it appears that your roomates and boss do not have boyfriends, I'd say "I'll get one when you do!"  Or turn the tables on them and say "Enough about me, when are you going to start dating?" Seriously, if they don't have bf's either, why are they pestering you???

Try reading "Even God Is Single, So Stop Giving Me A Hard Time" by Karen Salmansohn. http://www.amazon.com/Even-Single-Stop-Giving -Hard/dp/076112134X  It's hilarious and spot-on.

Boyfriends can be overrated.  I've only ever had one that I REALLY liked (currently with him).  Otherwise, life was better without having someone mediocre in it to bother me :)

The cure I found from nosy family people came very unexpectedly.  I went to a wedding and one of my cousins brought her new girlfriend!  Now no one asks me if I am seeing someone cause they are worried I might decide to become a lesbain too!
Which is even funnier because my cousin and her partner have a far better relationship than all the 'normal' ones who married jerks and are now divorced with kids.
I am enjoying the quiet about my love life though.

Oh.. and I went to college have a good job at IBM and recently bought a house, but no one in my extended family seems to think my life will be complete until I am married and have kids....then my life will really start. Kinda scary that some people still believe that.

thanks vegetariangeek. but I would like to ask you about something.

don't you think that the society look at single women in a certain way? I mean for women who passed a certain age without a family or a serious relationship?

wow pygirl. Congratulations. I am so happy for you and good luck to you in your new job.

yes, I agree. My mom believes that I will be happy when I have a husband :)

I don't know if I will be happy. I guess I will fight with him everyday. lol

Society ... big word!  There are a lot of different segments of society, it depends who you hang out with.

In my community, no, you DEFINITELY wouldn't be looked at a certain way.  Being single in your 30s/40s is pretty common amongst my circle of friends and they haven't found people around here to be even slightly judgmental about that.   

On the other hand, my cousin lives in a smaller town where people have made it clear (subtly, not saying anything outright)  that they feel there is a certain "life path" that "normal" people should take.  They say "oh she's single/doesn't have kids" in a certain sympathetic tone of voice that makes it sound like they mean "oh she's dying of a horrible, painful, contagious disease."

 But strangers don't know you circumstances, don't know why you're single, what your personal history is and CAN'T fairly judge you, or know what's best for you.  If people presume that they do, you can either call them on it (you can do this nicely), and make them think about the reason that they have certain assumptions, or just laugh it off.  Or move somewhere where you feel more accepted :)