Well the topic title isnt really true.
I have a wonderful boyfriend, and we have been together since May 9th last year.
We met at a party and drunkenly went home together 
but then he msgd me asking me out the following weekend for dinner and a movie.
However the night before our date, I got date raped. Its a long story that I dont want to get into as I am finally coming to terms with the whole thing.
Anyhoo, he has been great with helping me through everything.And I am TOTALLY smitten. I actually think that I am starting to.. fall for him...
The reason for my post is, that he is 23 and I am 20. And he has had some bad relationship experiences and what not- as have I. But sometimes I wonder how he feels about me. Like is it harder for guys that are older to fall for someone? We have been together a while so..
I dont wanna blurt out "i think i'm falling for you..." or something to that extent and look silly you know?
Any advice? or opinions?
Most people get hurt along the way. It happens. That's life. :/
Is it harder for guys to fall for someone? Not necessarily. It really depends on the guy. There could be alot going on here.
He could be, having been hurt before, really examining his feelings, not ready to jump up and down and say "I think I love you." until he's absolutely certain. It could also be that he's just not that into you.
My experience is.. honesty (with a little bit of tact and a lot of caring) is always the best policy. Tell him how you feel. Ask him how you feel. Be prepared to actually LISTEN to how he feels, in case it isn't entirely postive.
Yeah. But that is what I am scared about.
Like I know he cares about me, I can just tell by his body language and overall how he treats me.
But whether its just a 'like' thing or a 'love' thing is 
What are you scared about? That he might not like you? That he might like you BUT.. (and there's a lot of potential Buts here?)
It seems to me you could go on being scared about what MIGHT be true... or find out from the horse's mouth what IS true, at least at the moment.
Im not sure. Scared of being hurt I suppose.
I just find it hard to believe. If he does you know. Bleh. Insecurities. I'll mull it over in my head tomorrow.
I can understand being Scared of being Hurt. No one wants to be Hurt and there's ALWAYS that chance with a relationship.
But you can't let the Fear take over, or you'll stop being able to enjoy a relationship.
You're young, you're having fun. Don't let your own fears take away from that. :)
Yeah. Thanks for that.
I also, dont want to be the first to declare it. LOL like I would like if he did. But nothings perfect,
Im rambling. Sleep time
Take some advice from Grandpa Gustafson:
If were a young [girl] like you, I'd be mounting every [man] in Wabasha!
20 & 23 aren't much of an age gap, and love doesn't discriminate; I tell you this.. Share your feelings and thoughts, if you don't get the response you like don't let it bother you a bit.. because it takes a lot for a man to say I love you.. and when he does... you'll know he means it!
I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 23, we have been together almost 3 years now. We have known each other for a long time, since I was like 12 years old. Our relationship started when he kissed me, and from there things went pretty fast. He was the first one to say "I love you" and at the time I wasn't ready to say it back. I told him how I honesly felt and he said he was ok with it. Now I can't stop saying it.
Anyway, point of the story...just tell him. It isn't like he is going to back off...You have been together to long for that.
If you are still afraid to tell him in person, write him a note explaining everything you feel for him.
I basically agree with everything that has been said, I just wanted to put my two cents in :) as for the age difference 20 and 23 isn't too much... and the thing about it's harder for older men to fall... meh, I don't really think so.
I'm 21 and my boyfriend is 29 (hehehe now, that's a pretty big age difference :p) we have been together for around 7months and we're both very much in love... pretty much like 14 year olds hehe so about saying I love you, or anything of the sort...
Yeah, it's a risk... but isn't that a part of being in love? It's a lot of give and take, ups and downs and risks... but that butterflies that the incertity gives you is kind of nice. I was the first one to say 'I love you' and I was terrified of him not saying it back... actually I had decided for him to say it, but we we're just lying down joking around, and I just couldn't hold it back anymore... I freaking yelled it to him when he was in mid sentence (yeah, I know... not the most romantic moment hahaha) but he was so happy that I had said it because he had been scared to say it himself.
In my opinion if you feel it, say it. What have you got to lose? If he doesn't feel the same, it's not the end of the world... he may just need a bit more of time; but at least you got your feelings out in the open.
In the words of Dido: Well, if I wouldn't of had said... I still would of had felt it. Now where's the sense in that? :P Good luck!
wow, im in the same scenario as you!
In the end whether you ask him or not, he will still feel the same way about you ... it's just whether or not you know. I'd say talk to him about it - then you can make your mind up about what you want to do .... if he's fallen for you then great all is good - and if he hasn't/isn't, then do you really want to stay with him? Fear of being hurt is huge - but the potential for staying in a relationship that is one sided is so much worse. Here's food for thought - most guys aren't going to stay in a relationship with someone that they don't care about so the odds are that he cares about you but just hasn't quite found the way to blurt it out to you ... just like so far, you haven't said it to him. Take a chance!
If he's hung around for almost an entire year, then I'd say there's a good chance he likes you back. Usually guys don't just hang around with a chick for that long unless they care.
If you feel it you'll need to say it. Don't pressure him to say it back, it will have meaning when he says it because he feels it.
Original Post by dnrothx:
Take some advice from Grandpa Gustafson:
If were a young [girl] like you, I'd be mounting every [man] in Wabasha!
Well, we know what kind of reputation you might have had in Wabasha if you had been a girl then. It's a good thing you weren't.
Original Post by tincognito:
If he's hung around for almost an entire year, then I'd say there's a good chance he likes you back. Usually guys don't just hang around with a chick for that long unless they care.
Totally agree.
I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 23. I met him the first week of college, fresh out of highschool. I always wondered why he wanted me, but he always made the advances (asking me out to dinners and movies, to more serious things like meeting his family and spending Thanksgiving together). But sometimes you have to stop wondering, just accept, and be happy. :)
As far as love, feeling it, and declaring it, I think it all depends on how you feel. No one can tell you the right time. You will know when you want to say it. My boyfriend and I have not said it literally, but he does so many things for me that show he cares about me. Different couples act differently. Some enjoy saying "I love you," a lot, others don't and still have a strong, healthy relationship that they enjoy and get plenty of affection from.
Original Post by monarch777:
Original Post by dnrothx:
Take some advice from Grandpa Gustafson:
If were a young [girl] like you, I'd be mounting every [man] in Wabasha!
Well, we know what kind of reputation you might have had in Wabasha if you had been a girl then. It's a good thing you weren't.
Puritan.
Original Post by dnrothx:
Original Post by monarch777:
Original Post by dnrothx:
Take some advice from Grandpa Gustafson:
If were a young [girl] like you, I'd be mounting every [man] in Wabasha!
Well, we know what kind of reputation you might have had in Wabasha if you had been a girl then. It's a good thing you weren't.
Puritan.
No, not really. But I do have a question about the "mounting" aspect of your comment....puzzling. Isn't that usually a male function?
Original Post by coffincritter:
Well there's more than one position...depends how they do things down in Wabasha...
That's true. Things ARE a bit different in Wisconsin.
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