How can I break that mental barrier?

I can't go to my gym even I want to. period. It has been almost 3 weeks since last time I did a workout. last time, I saw the same group of people that I used to see every evening, and I saw CHANGES... that lady is getting slimmer, that guy who used to workout next to me, is getting more muscles.. my point is they are progressing. To make things worse, I was very well known in my gym as a very active and determined person. many trainers, the receptionist, even the manager know me very well, I wanted to disappear last time I was there.
to be honest, I am ashamed. very ashamed of my relapse. with all the inches I have gained, I am a different person now.
But I feel that all what I need is some support and extra push from you guys.
I think going there in a different time will help. or maybe freezing my membership and forget about the gym for a while until I feel better ?I am so sick of this feeling. any suggestions, ideas?

 I think that if you can make yourself go - and bring a friend or two if possible, it's not as scary when you have company - you'll find that the trainers and people who matter will be supportive of you coming back, not judgemental of what progression you've had.

 And you're going there for yourself, to feel better about you - it's very hard to hang there between hope and fear, harder than going would be. And honestly,back in the day when I did commercial gyms the first thing that sprung to mind seeing someone return after a long absence was "ah, good for her, she's back!"

That is why I said it is a mental barrier. no friends to workout with me. it is ok. I used to do many things on my own but this is a very big problem. any other tips for me?I dont know what is wrong with me these days.

 Well, the lack of a social support system is exhausting to anyone. Have you given more thought to finding a support group or theraphist through your health care provider? It's hard to do everything alone - you'd do well to look into your options there.

and until I find that therapist or support group, what should I do with my gym membership? I still pay for it and it is just a waste of money but I also know if I freeze it, it will be worse.

safina, don't know what exercise you like to do, but lots of websites have opps to meet other people who enjoy your sport.  your city might even have a local club or group through your rec center.  you could take a class at your gym and meet people there? idk just my thoughts...most people are shy, if you introduce yourself, they will be relieved and excited to make a new friend, too  :)

 It depends on you, mostly - but you can choose a different option than to just let it run or freeze it if it's part of a larger chain with more than one location. You could transfer to a new gym - you'd still have some barriers to overcome but they might not feel as tough.

 If not - well, you're more likely to continue the avoidance behaviour if you have no sense of urgency, and as you suspect it will only get worse as time passes. So it's a difficult situation to advise you about - my preference would be to have you commit to going in at least once this week and see how you feel after that, but it might not be emotionally possible for you until you connect with some reliable support. You might want to consider if you're more likely to go get that support group sorted it you know that your membership is still running or not, and let that inform your decision.

you said "ashamed of my relapse"

why do you feel so ashamed?  do you just feel like you are not good enough or that people are judging you?

For me, the mental challenge is that I make it "more than what it actually is."  I know it sounds silly, but I build up a situation in my mind, sometimes unrealistically, especially when I have guilt for not doing my part to achieve better health.  Safina:  I officially release the hold that going to the gym has over you!   (waves magic wand over Safina...)  Seriously, I get over my mental hurdle when I say:  It's just a (fill-in-the-blank) - i.e., walk, trip to the gym, trip to the dentist, whatever, then I remove the overpowering hold that grips my brain!  (LOL)  Sometimes, even if I don't feel like it, I do what some people call "act as if..."  And I just go through the motions:  I put my workout pants on, put my t-shirt on, put my socks and shoes on, grab my mp3 player and just walk out the door - no overthinking, overprocessing, or beating myself up!  I just got back from a nice long walk after feeling awful for the last few days about not exercising.  I "acted as if" I wanted to go and just a few minutes into my walk I felt wonderful.  I hope this helps, and let me tell you, everyone has peaks and valleys.  But people who are successful over the long term keep trudging up that valley to the next peak.  Feel free to PM me if you want, and just keep putting one foot in front of the other.  You're TOTALLY normal and okay!!!!  

PS:  Melkor is right - no one will judge you, they'll be glad for you - all the people at the gym are proactively seeking better health and fitness - you'll fit right in!

Although I am very frustrated , I am also learning from this experience. The human body is amazing. I didn't know that emotions would affect one's physical ability to work out. Melkor, I will try to go this week, I love the location but I want to avoid running into anyone I know there.

Bettypage4, Thanks for the idea. it is a corporate gym and people are not very friendly. most of them are very busy I guess. I have tried to introduce myself to some ladies there but didn't see that much of interests.

ah, well that makes sense safina. 

i don't know much, but something we all get to learn eventually is that we cannot control what others think, so live for yourself honey

if that gym sucks then find your place whatever that place is

i promise there is a group of great people out there just waiting to have a safina to hang out with!  and i'm not just saying that  :)

when worse comes to worse, i just look at other people and imagine myself as them and usually it makes me laugh, because i have been a jerk or judgemental or buttface before-laughing at it makes me feel better and lightens the mood. it also makes me appreciate that i was like them at one time (probably my teenage years!!! haha)

and tina is right-fake it until you make it!!!  haha

Bettypage4, yes, I am ashamed. that is exactly how I feel right now. when I go to that gym where those skinny girls flaunt their hot body, I feel worse.

I have never compared myself to anyone. never. Now, with all the cottage cheese in my hips, I can't help but compare.

It will pass:( I just posted here because I wanted that push.

well, you are awesome, a winner is someone who gets back up after they fall down and got kicked in the ribs

a winner is someone who lost some weight, saw that she has some cellulite and realized that she is still hot anyway!

you are a winner

and those skinny girls have nothing on you

so go get 'em girl!

bettypage4, you are awesome too:)

I agree with everything you said except for one thing.. " how come someone has some cellulite and can be still hot?:))))

I don't think there is a link between the two words:) cellulite =cottage cheese:)

honey you have to have new eyes before you can see a new view, the physical world will follow suit

you get to decide that you are worth it

only you can make that decision

have a wonderful night

I had a hard time going to the gym, too.  By the time I got the kid ready, drove over, signed her into their daycare, worked out, went to pick her up from the daycare (tack on 10 minutes for her to find her shoes and socks) and then drive home, it was 2.5 hours for a 45 minute work out.  I finally quit that membership and used the money to make payments on a treadmill.  I am more inclined to use it as I can just work out on a whim (or when I wake up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep.)   If you have room for some type of equipment, I would highly recommend dropping the gym membership and purchasing something. 

We're in the process of "interviewing" gyms right now.  There are a lot of membership deals because places are slow.  So if you are going to change, now is a good time.  And you can get a free trial membership *like me right now* and see if you like to work out there before you buy.

The added benefit is that because the club wants you to purchase the membership, they are extra nice and *kiss* booty -- so that might be a nice boost to get you over the hump (even though you know its fake...its nice when someone thinks enough of you to FAKE being nice).

I have fears about not getting to the gym once we choose one.  I will need to go often by myself, because my fiance works construction and doesn't need as much 'formal' working out as I do.  But we do want to go together, so I understand the problem translating wanting into doing.

Good Luck!

I go to a tiny city-run gym.  Just a few things there and everyone there is "normal" and the employees are just people at a desk. 

I tried two other gyms years ago (before I ever had a weight problem) and I didn't like the impersonal aspect of it.  At least in the city gym, I'm not paying that much and I'm just going to use the equipment. 

oh yeah, are you talking about the YMCA mrsdangle?  YMCAs can be amazing and there are normal people there and families, classes, community activities.  I love the YMCA!  They are not all ghetto as most people seem to think.  The only reason why I do not have a membership now is because I do not want to pay for a membership anywhere. 

Here the Y is almost as expensive as any other fitness club.  I'm actually talking about city-run neighborhood centers with small weight rooms, basketball courts, stuff.  I got a 3 month pass for $15.