breaking up......

 

Me and my boyfriend had really been having some hard times lately...he is extremely jealous and controlling, wants me to talk to basically no other males except him and my dad... so after months of doing this for him i was so un happy.. i was more happy when we werent together then when we were.. but i didnt want to end it because i have the biggest fear of being alone in the world! which i know is a big insecurity i need to get over because i wont be!

But anyways we broke up over the weekend after he tried to tell me he didnt want me to have facebook or talk to a friend of mine( who is male) that i have known for 6 years. i know that the relationship is no good. i just always build my world around my boyfriends.. it really sucks when it ends! i feel okay at times but then at times im inconsolable and saying oh it wasnt that bad.. i shuda just done this.. blah blah blah...

So right now im really focusing on my diet.. going to the gym.. that kinda thing which i think is great! but sometimes it gets really hard to have the motivation to eat right or get out to the gym!

Just wondering if anyone else is going thru this and wanted to talk or share about a breakup that they are going thru now too

You say you are afraid to be alone but in that relationship you were alone. Not being alowed to talk to other people was isolating you. It started out with just guys but it probably would have been with anyone. Sounds like he is insecure. It can be a scary world out there but there are different kinds of being alone. Love yourself first and you will never be alnoe

After my ex and i broke up, i didn't know how to to be alone either, and was terrified. I used that time though to really focus on myself and who i was and what i wanted to be and do with my life. i lost 30 lbs, felt great.  It was one of the happiest time of my life. i was single for 2 years and enjoyed every moment of it.

i now am with a wonderful man, but am still glad to have had that time to myself. i love him very much, but occationally still miss my single days.

being single can be scary at first, but its really a great time to get your life in order.

Good luck!!

But bugsy, you WILL be alone at various points of your life. Learn to enjoy your own company, and you will not be afraid to be by yourself. Instead of building your world around a boyfriend, build your world for yourself, and let to expand for a boyfriend, but not be built around him.

And good for you for giving your controlling boyfriend the heave-ho! Think of all the fun you can have now that he's gone!!!

Wow, that sounds exactly like my last relationship and breaking up with him was the best thing I had ever done

 

i know that it will be fine in the long run.. it just always seems like when u break up with them suddenly in your head they become everything u wanted...

The thing is i am chasing the ghost of the guy i met when we first started dating.... after seeing the real him i dont want to be with him but i wish that he was the same guy i started dating and i do miss certain things and wonder if i will ever get them again.

I could say the same thing about my ex-husband.  I kept hoping that the person he turned into when we married (or just hid from me prior) could be the same guy.  Never happened.

Every person has the right be in a secure, loving relationship.  This does not include any form of control.  Control=abuse.  Many think of only physical abuse, but isolation is also a passive-agressive form of abuse.

(((HUGS))) You'll do fine.  And you aren't alone - you have all of us!

I can tell you that you may have dodged a huge bullet. Like the kind of bullet that lands you in the emergency room. The kind of bullet that kills you. I am just glad to hear you got out of there! Don't go back, no matter what!