I Had a BreakThrogh today!

I have been on this weight loss journey i call it since April of 2008. When i began i weighed 222 pounds and i was a size 22 eventhough all my clothes were size 20. i was in denial i realized i should be wearing a bigger size when i would go shopping and the size 20's were tight. But i couldn't bring myself to do that because i had never been bigger than a size 20 so to realize that i was getting bigger and bigger was a wake up call. well instead of taking it slow and making little changes here and there i dove head first into this journey. i began doing cardio everyday (walkind and dvd workouts, i did weight lifting once a week which eventually i increased to two times a week, lowered my fat intake, increased fiber, increased veggies, etc. i did not weight myself often because for me i was trying to focus on the clothes and how they fit and going down in size especially since i was lifting weights and that makes harder to see the number on the scale go down since you're building muscle.

well as everyone know doing this routine day after day, week after week, month after month is overwhelming to say the least. not to mention doing it on your own. at least i joined this site which was very helpful in at least giving me the support and community i needed. reading posts about differnt things i was experiencing in my weight loss journey really let me know that there are so many who are going through literally the same thing as im going through. there were so many issues being talked about that i could relate too and sometimes it made me cry to read the posts becuase there were certain topics that i swear i thought only i was going through and when i would see someone create a thread and it's exactly what im going through it would make me emotional.

Anway one of the hardest parts of this journey has been the patience you need to lose weight. i knew it would not be quick but the realization that it's taking me longer than i expected is hard. it's been a year and a half and im not done at all. What caught me by surprise was when i hit the forty or even fifty pound mark how bad i still felt about my body. i realized i still weighed 172 pounds at that point and i was wearing a size 14. to have worked as hard as i did and still be that weight and size was very depressing. there have been many times along the way when i wanted to give up but i forced myself literally to get my ass up and do the workouts, i forced myself to eat the foods that were gonna help lose the weight. but it's tiring. i go shopping for food every sunday and cook food for the whole week breakfast, lunch, and dinner. everyday i take my breakfast, lunch, and rush home so i can eat what i cooked. if i know im not coming home right away i make sure to pack my dinner too.

it's amazing how it's like an obsession. the weight loss was and is on my mind everyday. well almost a year into my journey i joined a weight loss group with a few friends on facebook but they wanted to weigh in everyweek. this actually depressed me because with me the weight loss was not on a weekly basis you see it over a couple of weeks or months since i lift weights. so while everyone else was reporting two pounds, three pound loss, mine would be zero or stay the same. eventually we abandoned that group but i still kept up my journey. but i during the summer i really almost had a breakdown. by june i had gone down to 170 even though i though i would be in the 160's. well june, july, august, i plataued like crazy. i hovered around 170, 169, 168 the whole time. i tried making so many little changes to get out of it. i ate more, i worked out more, i ate less, i cut back on carbs. nothing. and mind you this was not my first plataue obvisouly. September the same thing.

well a couple of weeks ago i went to miami for vacation for about five days. so i didn't lift weights, i didn't really work out, just walking around south beach. i tried to eat healthy but i ate things that i would not have if i wasn't out there. but i was proud of myself because while i allowed myself to eat a burger to have a dessert i also combined it with meals that were healthier. So i didn't go ALL out. but that break there made me realize how much smaller my body was. the clothes i wore were short and tight and i really saw the shape my body had taken. now mind you i have a very serious problem with my stomach. that is where most of my weight is concentrated and it is the most frustrating thing for me. i have cried so many times over this. whatever size i say i m is cause if my belly. if i was a size 18 i could probably have fit into a 16 but it would have constricted me in my stomach. so even though the clothes looked good on me i would focus on how big my stomach was. it's really difficult for me because i have to keep wearing shirts that cover it since i don't feel comfortable showing the bulge. and to think that it's this big after losing all this weight i get depressed thinking about how big it was when i was at my heaviest weight. Anway when i came back from miami i actually stayed the same weight as when i left which was a relief so this let me know that the weight lifting i do has a part in why i do not see the number go down on the scale.

Btw in september i began weighing myself everyday and keeping a chart of it so i could see the trend of my weight loss as everyone here says. well for a day or two even though i have been working out and still eating the right foods my weight went up. but i am about to get my period so i figured it could be that or again the strength training. Well this morning i weighed myself and it said 165. i am beside myself. Finally, Finallly, Finally i had a breakthrough. this is what i have been waiting for for five or six months. i am so proud of myself for being focused, disciplined, and patient. it was very, very, very difficult and it still is very, very, very difficult and it will always be very, very, very difficult. but at least im making progress and the more fit you are the less bitter you are about having to eat healthy and work out.

Congratulations!  I admire your dedication and persistance. 

It sound like you started out in very much the same position as me.  I've actually been as high as size 22 several years ago, but started my journey in July of this year around size 20.  So far I'm down 13 pounds in 3 months and into size 18 pants now.  My current goal is around  160-165, which should get me out of the "obese" category, barely.

Thanks for posting this.  Its good to read about someone who has been at this for a long time.  (However it would have been a bit easier to read with a bit more white space!   Just a suggestion for your next post.)

can you please break this up into paragraphs? Its so incredibly hard to read.

sorry it's so long. i just began writing and was just trying to get my feelings out. i didn't pay attention to the length of it.

Wow we have similar stories. Similar starting weights and curent weight. It's taken me a long time too. Keep going!