Breakthrough (Sort of....)

Hi i have been trying to actively gain for almost three weeks now. I have been struggling with spacing out my food amounts and have been restricting my day time intake to 1200 calories (before dinner) and then trying to make up the rest with my evening meals. However, today i have had a sort of breakthrough.....i had my normal lunch and then about 1.5 hour later i was really lightheaded and HUNGRY and had a smoothie + 2 waffles and a soft serve.....I am really trying not to count out my calories excessively but i worked out that roughtly that "snack" would be about 500-600 calories bring my day time total to about 1600-1700.... This is a big deal for me and i am proud to have done but i am also pannicking and stressing about what i consumed.....I am slightly scared of having over 4 servces of carbs per day and hen i restrict these at morning tea time i find i get really starving in the middle of the day (which is what happened today) I am really worried about having another dessert tonght after dinner as i have already had one of these today.....i know that this is irrational as i'm trying to gain...Does any one have any suggestions about this sort of self doubt and how to overcome this binging (if thats what it is)??

Map your day out better and stop holding back.  You need 2500 cals a day to really get into steady weight-gain so commit to that number rather than being half-hearted.  You'll need to eat frequently to get it all in.... so that's a meal or a snack every 2 hours on average.... make the time in your day, set your alarm, other activities take second place to eating.   It's not going to 'just happen' if you leave it to chance. 

I know that you don't want to count calories but there are other ways of making sure you get the right amount to eat.    You would feel a lot less stressed if you were better organised because you'd feel that you were in charge of the situation rather than at the mercy of events.

Finally... do stop fretting about 'carbs'.  (That idiot Atkins has a lot to answer for) Carbohydrates are the mainstay of any healthy diet and when you're underweight they're invaluable, as are all other kinds of foods.

If you're underweight and suffering from disordered eating then do be aware that CC can only provide support for people in active recovery and who are getting treatment from professionals.  CC is not an ED facilty. If you're trying to go it alone then this isn't the place for you.

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I would like to second everything GI-Jane said.

Also the reccomendation for recovering AN's is a diet consisting of around 50-60% carbs, 25-35% fats and 15% protein. Too much protein will wreak havoc on your kidneys. There is no reason to be afraid of carbs. They are excellent for you, and they are often lower in volume as compared to a calorically equivalent of protein. So truly - carbs are going to be your best friend. And don't fret about having two desserts in a day. I ate two fun sized candy bars with my lunch and a wrap with nutella, strawberries and ricotta before bed yesterday. The rest of my diet is quite healthy - so having one or two treats in a day to help make up the calories is perfectly 100% okay, and in fact it helps to promote a "everything is good in moderation" mentality about food. And as someone who is recovering from an ED - that is exactly what you need. Don't worry about having too much of this or that, because truly its not like you're about to eat a whole box of cereal and a loaf of bread within one day. You know that - so trust yourself. Eat carbs, fats and protein with every meal and snack - you'll be okay.