Bulimia

I am scaring myself. For maybe the past 3 weeks or so I've gotten on this binge/purge habit. I don't know how it happened but it did and I'm scared. I'll tell myself that I'm done but then four days later I'll do it again. I don't want this to spin out of control, but I don't want to tell anyone. At the same time, I feel like I'm in control of it? Like right now, I don't think that I actually have Bulimia, I'm just scared that I'll make a habit out of this and continue to do it. I'm only 17 years old and going off to college next year. I dont konw what to do because I don't want to tell....please anyone help me...I don't want this to get out of hand.

Wow. You are me a month ago. I had the SAME EXACT problem a few weeks ago. I was making myself throw up for a few weeks and I told my boyfriend I'd stop then I would then I'd go on the scale, not liking what I see, and start again. I did it yesterday but I havent done it in weeks other than that. My boyfriends helping me out, i know you don't want to tell your parents or a school counselor cause it's embarassing and it'll start a huge ordeal, but try and tell a best friend or boyfriend who you're really close to. They'll help you out :]

You definitely need to talk to someone about this. You might try to see if there are any boards online or websites for eating disorders. The fact that you realize that this is a potential problem is a good sign and a huge first step. Hang in there, but try to fight the urge in the meantime.

i was in a similar situation.. although, at first, i didn't think purging was that big of a deal every once in a while. btw, in the beginning i never binged. it started out w/ me restricting my calories to about 300 cals a day, and then i decided even that was too much and i purged one day... and yeah, it got 500000000 times worse when i got to college.

ok, long story slightly shorter- this happened just a couple times a month, but then it started happening every day. now i'm fighting bulimia tooth and nail. i purge almost ever day, at least once. the only time i don't purge is when i eat raw vegetables, like carrots, salad, etc. it really does become an addiction and it is very likely that you will not be able to stop (now when i purge it's just like my stomach literally can't keep anything down).

please try to get help. i agree with the first responder, it might be too much to tell your parents or a counselor, but a good friend will be able to help a lot. good luck :)

I think you are brave to write about it here on CC.  That takes courage.

I don't think you are in control, or you could decide to stop and not end up doing it again four days later, as you say.  And you wouldn't be writing about it and wondering, am I in control or not?

I suggest you get help as soon as you can.  Don't feel shy or ashamed.  It is better to face the fact that you need some help and let someone know now, than to really damage your health.

What if the problem grew bigger, to the point where it stole a few years of your life away because you have to do more to deal with it later than you might have to do to deal with it in an early stage.  Think about things like that.

If you get some support, it will allow you a safe space to think about what's going on with yourself.  You won't have to use that energy trying to hide, which is exhausting.

Think about who you could talk to.  I would suggest your school nurse.  They have a lot of experience helping students with all sorts of things, nothing will surprise them.

I hope you can do something for yourself.  You are already strong.

 

Three weeks isn't an eating disorder--yet. A three-month pattern is required for diagnosis; in general, the longer, the more severe. The light's yellow, but you can still get through the intersection before it turns red.

When I was twelve, I was putting on weight thanks to puberty making me more curvy. Then my dad told me I was fat. For three weeks, I ate 300 calories a day. It wasn't anorexia, but it would've been if it had gone on much longer. Thankfully, I came to my senses and decided having boobs and butt wasn't so bad. I was normal weight until about age 14, when I ended up with compulsive overeating... but that's another story. Suffice it to say that said father got a lot meaner, and I ended up trying to cope--ineffectively, of course.

Chances are you have some thinking patterns in place that predispose you to bulimia, or to eating disorders in general. That kind of thinking is crazy common in our world just because of the undue significance people put on weight. Maybe there's some stress going on in your life, and now you're on the borderline to some real trouble.

It's probably early enough so that you can stop just by distracting yourself... thinking about something else after a meal, doing something you like to do. If you have to, simply don't keep the foods that you know you'll binge on in the house. As a rule of thumb, it takes two weeks to break a habit; and this habit's not very well established yet.

Once you're out of danger, you might want to try examining what you think about food. A lot of times, people think that food means more than just nutrition. It doesn't; but subconsciously, I think we connect it with a lot of things that it doesn't really need to be connected with... comfort, love, control... If you can be aware of those things, aware of how you yourself think, then you've won a big victory in avoiding an eating disorder.

I have been working on my own binges lately, and over the past few years they've been fewer and farther between. I don't qualify for the "compulsive overeating" diagnosis anymore. The big help for me was simply not to think of any food as forbidden--ever. If I wanted chocolate, I'd buy a chocolate bar--but not a whole bag. If I wanted cake, I'd buy a muffin--but not a whole cake. Permission to eat what you want, combined with buying single servings so you can't eat too much of it, is really helpful.