Bulimia relapse. Whatttt now?

Hi guys. I've been diagnosed with bulimia. The last time I purged was September 2nd. I have binged a lot since, but last night I purged again. My mom knows and everything. I ate a lot of cheese and then purged in the shower because I thought you wouldn't be able to hear it, but she did. I was so embarrassed, but she's been really understanding about this whole thing. I know it's bad, but I felt good after purging because I want to stop gaining so much weight. How do I get over this!?!?!? I'm so tired of having an eating disorder. It morphs from anorexia to binge eating to bulimia. Ugh. For real... has anybody recovered? My sister has been anorexic for almost 5 years so I feel very discouraged about ever recovering.

I have recently been diagnosed with bulimia and I know how hard it is to stop.  I have just started getting help with this too, and it is horrible when you think your family cannot hear you, but they do.  I have had eating disordered behavior for a long time, but only in the last year has it escalated into some kind of monster.  Only a month ago I accepted I had a problem and have decided I want it to end.  I thought, oh yeah I'll just stop then, but it's not that simple.  Purging makes me feel clean inside and I need to find other ways to do that.  Also I used to be 200 pounds and I get scared I will become that again. I am eating fairly normal sized portions now and have gone almost a week without purging but I ended up putting on 2kg and have relapsed again.  It is really hard.  My dietician has me writing down everything I eat whether I purged it and my thoughts and feelings and then she goes through them with me and praises me for the healthy choices I make.  She says we will ignore the purging and bad thoughts for now and focus on what choices I make.  Don't give up. just keep trying.  I am going to do the same.  If you ever want to talk I'm here.

Everyone has slip ups. The path to recovery is never perfect. However, don't fall into the trap of having one slip up and thinking you've blown it and have to dive head first back into your eating disorder. You don't! Just learn from this mistake, forgive yourself and then move on.

Think about what caused you to purge, and how you can avoid that situation next time. Can you avoid being triggered? Can you think of alternative solutions if you do feel triggered? Now that your parents know about your bulimia it may help to tell them when you really feel like purging and just let them help you sit the feeling out.

I also suggest you stay focused on what your treatment team has planned for you; whether you are following structured eating, a meal plan or an exchange plan. Not skipping snacks or meals will help you stop the binging habit. It also sounds like weighing yourself is a trigger, so I suggest ditching the scales. You can always get your doctor to weigh you once a month or so if the not-knowing is driving you nuts.

You have done fantastically well to stop purging so far, you should feel proud of the progress you have made. So don't stop now! Think of this as a learning opportunity instead of a fatal mistake. Realise that you're not perfect, and forgive, forgive, forgive. Not beating yourself up will make it so much easier for you to keep moving towards recovery.

Keep thinking about what recovery offers you: a healthy body, a mind not full of distractions and obsessions, more time, more money, a social life where you can relax, the opportunity to do with your life whatever you want, the freedom to eat what you please and enjoy food... Recovery offers you freedom, happiness and the opportunity to live a passionate and fulfilling life. This is what you are fighting for. You can do it.

I know how you feel, But good for you for making it since Sep 2nd. My goal is to make it without a binge/purge for a week, so far I've only made it four days, which is then followed by like 2-5days of purging. I don't know what to do, but the advice given here is good, we have to forgive ourselves and never give up, no matter how much we want to.

I just want you to know that recovery from Bulimia is possible, message me if you need any support (:

I live by:

Do the next right thing.

so maybe you messed up by b/p but you can do the next right thing by moving on and just keep on going and eating like normal. hope that helps!

Please do not post if you are not in recovery. This website is not a pro-ED site and nobody here will support you in your goal to remain anorexic.

Promotion of starvation diets or habits that exhibit signs of an eating disorder ("pro-ana", "pro-mia", etc.) is prohibited.

I'm sorry if I seemed like I was pro-ana, I am not. I want to stay thin, but I want to be healthy, not ill. I am supposed to be in recovery but am finding it very hard.

Glitzystar I totally get what you are saying about wanting to be healthy and thin, but NOT ana. I think during ED recovering, size does not matter. It's a huge challenge for me, even today, to think that food is fuel for the body.  However, after recognizing that, I feel much more comfortable around  food.  Food provides energy, and without energy, I could not do anything like I enjoy doing.  It's not something to be afraid of, or be obsessive about.  I truly believe in the motto, "healthy mind, healthy body".  I used to hate myself for binging, but now I take it as my body's way of telling me that I had not been eating enough in the past, and I need to take care of my HEALTH.  I don't fight the urges.  Sometimes I would just sit there and allow myself to feel the discomfort of REALLY wanting to binge. It physically hurts I think. But then I realize, it's like an addiction. I gave into binging before because I didn't want to put up with the discomfort and gave in. It may help to just sit with the pain, and think about the detrimental effects of binging.

i consider myself almost fully recovered, although i don't think it's possible to ever be 100% free of disordered thoughts/behavior. honestly what helped me the most was starting to eat more like a normal person.

for example, if you binge one day, don't try to make up for it the next day by starving yourself, because you will binge again and the cycle just keeps going.

try to eat nutritious, whole foods at regular times each day, and don't focus so much on weight-loss for now. your health is the most important thing, and regular eating patterns may help to get your metabolism back on track.