A cabin trip with my parents!

My mother isn't known for serving very balanced meals. We're going on a trip overnight to a cabin with her and bunch of other family. I offered to bring food for myself and my son but she got upset because she'd already bought a ton. I have no idea what to do to keep my intake in check without falling into my lifelong habit of under-eating again.

Any suggestions?

I know your mom said that she had already bought a ton of stuff, but if you are sure she didn't get enough fresh fruits and vegetables - buy some, put them in a small cooler and take them along anyway.  You are worth it!!!

Don't under eat, but watch the portion size of the stuff she does cook. Offer to help with the cooking so that you at least know approximately how much of everything is going into soups, salads, and casseroles. It isn't a long trip and if you try and get some exercise in (I am assuming the cabin is in the mountains or on the beach & these are great places to walk) you should be fine. Remember to drink lots of water.

Finally, relax and have fun with your family!

Sunni

I agree with sunni,

Take along a cooler with your fresh fruits and veggies and water.   Mom can take extra food home if there are left overs.

The trip was a dietary failure. I tried to bring my own fruits and veggies. My mom threw a fit. I compromised by sneaking in a few cans of fruit and veggies at Dollar Tree. She threw another fit when she saw my purchases. She openly admitted to not bringing any in the groceries she bought beforehand, mind you. But I think I did good. I got her to shut up really fast when I basically asked her what kind of mother I would be if I didn't offer my kid fruits and veggies even on a camping trip.

I have no idea what changed between my childhood and now. She used to serve proper portions and perfectly balanced meals when I was young. :(

Good news is that I accomplished a few cool things. I spent the night in an old, spooky, and mostly deserted campground on Halloween. I know. *dies* But despite my lack of sleep (mostly due to the uncomfortable bed) I climbed half a mountain. I wanted to go the whole way, but a sheer face of loose rock and three year olds don't mix. I also got to see the sunrise over the lake. I think all in all I walked about 7 miles since noon yesterday, one of which was intensive climbing. I probably shouldn't have taken my kiddo climbing at all, but knew he could do the inclines we were on. He loved it. ^_^

It doesnt sound like the trip was a failure at all, it sounds WONDERFUL! Even despite the food issues. Good come back about offering your kid's fruits and veggies - eventually she won't say anything.

It was only 1 day - no biggie. Maybe next time you could say you want to bring some fruits/veggies to make some things for everyone, but you aren't really sure what would be good and maybe she could bring some recipes and show you and then you can try it for yourself at home

Aren't families wonderful?! You did good though! With all of the extra exercise, I doubt very much that the diet is going to cause you any problems, unless you WAY over indulged on what was available.

As for taking your kid with you: you stopped when things got dangerous and otherwise he got to try out something new! What an experience! Keep taking him - he will think you are the coolest mom when he gets older.

As for your mom - does she have a weight problem too? Is your relationship with her good otherwise? It sounds like she is having a jealousy issue of some sort. Maybe she thought you were being critical of her choices or didn't trust her somehow. It sounds pretty weird for a grown woman to throw a fit over you trying to treat yourself well.

I also like kdh's suggestion that you get your mom to drag out some of those good for you recipes from your childhood so that you can "learn" to make them for your children. That would be a great way to stroke her ego and salvage your new healthy lifestyle at the same time. Win/Win.

Sunni

kdh is a genius! *bows down* I've never been really good at sucking up to my mother. Thanks for the tip! haha

Sunni, my mom has a weight problem like me. Only she was the first in our family to be diagnosed with our inherited hypothyroidism. So she's had years worth of a jump on the rest of us. I think she might be sabotaging me subconsciously because she won't be the thinnest one much longer. Or it could just be that she feels I'm judging her? I try to be realistic and just say flat out "Are you serving veggies?" If the answer is no, I rummage through her pantry and fridge until I find something and tell her I'll take care of that part if she can finish what she started.  As of late she's gotten really defensive about it despite the fact that I've done this for over two years. It's just weird to me to visit and not have salad and a giant portion of veggies. I have no idea what's going on in her head. It's not like she doesn't have a kid at home, either. My little sis is 15. She refuses to eat veggies because she wasn't forced to at least try them at an early age like my other sis and me. I think she lives off frozen chicken wings and mozzarella sticks. >.<

As far as taking my son with me, I take him to every "workout" I go to. Usually the workouts are playing with him. I figure if I go and try to teach myself to be healthy and workout everyday without him I won't teach him anything other than to stay inside. We take walks on the bike trail next to our house about twice a week and last week he played tennis with us for two hours. He's a really great ball boy! haha And as soon as I can get my bike he's getting a trailer to ride in. It's so much cheaper than finding a babysitter, too!

Dovie,

Can you just stand up to your Mother?  I realize how hard this is.  But, can you just tell her that you have decided to lose weight for the sake of your child and your own sake.  Tell her you love her.  Tell her you want to eat a reasonable portion of whatever she cooks and add your own salad/veggie or what ever to it.  

I think if she is making the meal, she may be feeling you are either judging or trying to convert her to your own eating....or (more likely) she's seen you try losing weight before and fail and doesn't want to get all emotionally invested in another failure. (even though I know this is a permanent change, she doesn't, yet).  You may have to prove yourself to her.  

This is a hard question, but please hear my heart.  Since you've been doing this for two years and she is still giving you a hard time, it's time to put a stop to it.  Do you live with her?  If not, then perhaps you should come to visit other than a meal time.  That is another option.  But if you know the time will extend into a meal, then you have to be clear that you'll be bringing your own meal or veggies/dessert, etc.

Another option is to leave when it's mealtime. 

OK, I've butted in enough.

No, we don't live with her, but I suppose it's a lot easier said than done to stand up to her. My mother and I have butted heads since I was born. Every single thing I do is an issue with her. She has some form of both Münchhausen and M&uu ml;nchhausen by proxy. I was her "experiment." Luckily she never did me any actual physical harm but doctors were constantly being told there was something gravely wrong with me mentally. She constantly bashed me for my weight and when I grew a foot in 9 months she still refused to let me eat more than what she thought was enough. When I was 13 I told her I would no longer let myself go along with her lies to the doctor and herself. Since then she's grasped at every possible opportunity to regain control of my life. I used to struggle so very hard against her. I even cut off contact with her for two full years. Eventually I had my son and felt it was important for him to know his grandmother. When we got back in touch I realized that she had changed her attention to my little sister, then 11 years old. There wasn't much of an issue there. My sister was also lucky that my mother's illness never manifested into intentional harm. About two years ago my little sister owned up to my mother in the same fashion I did. Since then she's begun to transfer her energies to my son, determined that he has some sort of autism or behavioral dysfunction. We are CONSTANTLY butting heads about it. She's even gone so far as to try to take him in for testing over this past summer.

I love my mother dearly despite her faults. She does have good intentions somewhere in there so it's not like I can hate her for her illness. So really, with all that in mind, a little dietary concern is such a small matter that I don't feel the need to push it too hard. She's probably lashing out desperately to find some sort of control over her life again by controlling someone else's. As she becomes more desperate she sees my son less and less because I don't trust her. When we do see each other I don't really like to fight about what we're eating. That's really the only reason I haven't stood up to her as well as I probably should have.

I think I'll try some of these suggestions you ladies offered, though. Avoiding meal times is difficult in Texas, as texmom can very well attest to. Food time is family time. I think I can pull it off, though. Here's hoping I can at least. 

PS Sorry for the life story/TMI. I think I just needed to write it down to think it out.