calling out to women 50+

I'd like to start this thread specifically for women who are 50 or over.

As a 53 year-old woman, myself, I am finding new challenges, unexpected difficulties and wonderful insights on my path to getting to and maintaining my health, weight and body shape.

What seemed to work for me as little as five years ago doesn't work quite the same anymore. My body doesn't seem to respond to what I consider healthy eating habits and good workout schedules as it even in my middle to late 40s'.

SO, I am would to hear from those out there who are finding themselves in situations. OR NOT, maybe you can enlighten the rest of us as to how you keep your shape, or how you're getting into better shape and a healthier overall lifestyle.

Hopefully this will be the start of something wonderful, educational, funny-offer up jokes anecdotes, whatever!

LET'S GET STARTED!

Of course we have heard of Toronto, it is in Canada..  somewhere...  Someday I hope to go there.  My parents went many years ago and raved about it.  So many trees.  It is real treat for someone from Southern California where we have grasslands and desert.

My daughter's shower was very nice.  It was a brunch and I had a spinach, feta, and tomato omelet.  It was the lowest calorie thing I could find.  Then they had cupcakes and I had one of those.  It wasn't even that good, but I ate the while thing <sigh>.  Then I didn't get to go riding today, so I didn't do as well as I hoped for the weekend.

Earth_mom - The best reward is when you go down a size in clothes and reward yourself by going out shopping!    And then maybe dress up and go out to dinner with your husband....  Ooops.  Yeah, it is hard to come up with non food rewards, isn't it?

Snowfence, does your family think you are anorexic? I am amazed they would get on your case about walking!! Sometimes our families get nervous about change, even change for the better.

I went to San Francisco Sunday and did not count calories. But it could have been a lot worse :) Saturday's hike was a very tough one, with some pretty scary Class 3 climbing (class 3 doesn't require ropes, but you are using both your arms and legs to climb, and you better not be afraid of heights). Pictures soon. My knees are still feeling it, even with a day of relative rest afterwards. I hope I have enough strength in my legs for tomorrow's spin class!

Greetings to the new people. I don't know the answer to the food reward question. Food IS rewarding. I don't think we will ever get around that. I find that when I'm up moving around and busy, I think about food a lot less. I guess for me the key is to keep so busy and on the move that I don't have time to eat and don't even think about it.

Alice

Welcome Earth_mom!

clharr, you touched a subject that puzzles me no end: why do we eat things we don't really like, when we are trying so hard to NOT eat too much? What happened to you with the cup cakes happens to me all the time... I taste something, find it so-so if not downright weird tasting but... I eat it all! I just read a post by a girl who said she had a 1'000 cals plate of gnocchi she didn't like, but that she finished it all anyway. Why do we do this? We save and measure and count, only to blow it all... on food we don't even like! Crazy...

I know in my case it's partly because of the "you finish everything in your plate young lady" routine. I went to school in a nuns' school near Paris where I took my lunches too. The food was far from what my Italian Mom would prepare for me at home - I was a very finicky eater too - and I profoundly disliked everything they served. I would dread lunch time...  The nuns were very strict and the rule was that you had to finish everything on your plate before you were allowed to leave the refectory. Since it was France, we had a set lunch that came in courses. You had an entree (soup, cold cuts, or a salad), then a meat/fish with veggies, then cheese, then dessert. If you didn't finish the preceding course, the next one would be poured over the leftovers. At the beginning - I was 7 - I would stay in front of the concoction resulting from the mixing of soup/meat/veggies/cheese/chocolate pudding till classes resumed. Then I would receive a punishment (usually hundreds of lines "I will eat my food swiftly and with grace, thanking the Lord for this my daily bread"). With time, I started eating as fast as I could, not breathing, to avoid tasting too much, then I just got used to  eat whatever. Nowadays, I think I can eat anything put in front of me, from hundred years old oozing green eggs to sea slugs in a broth...

At home, the food was good, but it was roughly the same principles that applied: you eat what you are given, all of it, and if you don't, you'll see it again at the next meal (including afternoon snack and breakfast)... When you are hungry enough, you'll like it. My parents both grew up during the war. Italy had been under Fascism since 1934 and food was scarce till well after the end of the war (Italy was liberated a full year after most of Europe...), and my father had been shot at several times when he went into the newly harvested potato fields in occupied Northern France, to try and find some forgotten potatoes for himself and his widowed mom and younger sister. They just had no patience for "spoiled brats"...

As you are all my age, you have probably had the same experiences, as the States had the Depression, if not the war and occupation. I often ask myself if this is partly the reason why so many people have problems with food. We eat without hunger, finish plates even when we are past satiation, and use food as a reward.

I like the whole discussion about non food rewards. In my husband's family - where everyone is skinny - I am the only chubby one. A few years back, tired of sitting at never-ending meals that left me bloated and remorseful, I launched the idea we should find other ways to celebrate our togetherness than sitting around a table. They agreed with me and we now organize wonderful get-together with the whole family. Usually, all the brothers and my sister-in-law, the wives and husband, and all the children meet in a nice area of Switzerland for 3-4 days of activities, walks, kayaking, tennis or biking. Some years we don't have the time, so we only do a day excursion in a beautiful place. Food is never the focus point. We all love it. We have also stopped exchanging chocolates or edible treats, in favor of books, crafts or even things we made ourselves with the other in mind. We have extended this to other friends and everyone is quite happy with the formula.

I like the idea of trinkets and nail polish. I don't make up, but I use perfume. I am a perfume freak. Have some 21 different ones I alternate... I could imagine transforming saved calories into "points", points in cents, and rewarding my efforts with a new perfume when I have gathered enough credit! Any other idea out there?

Hope everyone is having a great day.

Helene, who just applied for her very first visa to the USA!

P.S: Renee, I am not sure I'll remember to call you reenie instead of ruh-nay!!! LOL But I'll try... I'll try.

Welcome eath_mom, barbe and imblksh!!! Welcome back letsgetitstarted! Congrats imblksh on the 25 pound loss in only 12 weeks!! That's great. Do you work in a school that you are off for the summer?? I have this week and then I am off for the summer too! I love it. barbe- yoga spa sounds interesting tell us more about it! I would love to go to a spa for a week although I tell my hubby my dream vacation is to go to a golf school/spa take lessons and play golf! I'd be interested in what supplements you take too - from the holistic practitioner. I would use shopping or a pedicure/manicure as the non-food reward! earth_mom- Your difficulties sound very much like one of my friends and she too is now trying to get her weight under control. You're doing the right things - exercise will help the weight to come off quicker even if you can only start with 5 minutes.

I seem to be the opposite of a lot of you. Having been made to "finish what was on my plate" there are many things now I won't touch, and I would sit for an hour or more hoping my mother would give up which sometimes she did, or I would shove it all in my mouth -ask to be excused - run outside and spit it out! I became good at ways to make it looked like I tasted it at least - cut it up in little bites and shove it all over the plate, hide it under the plate and napkin - you get the picture ! LOL And finishing my plate never made me like food.

oneHave definitely heard of Toronto but I've never been there. I had a cinnamon rugelach yesterday - worth every calorie too - but   probably carb overload because I couldn't stop at one LOL I had to have 3 ...although they were small... oh boy making excuses...Shouldn't have taken that first bite cause then I couldn't stop!!!

clharr -Glad the shower went well.  Hey the lower cal choice on the omelet made up for the calories on the cupcake - what the heck it was your daughter's shower! You deserved a cupcake

moon -I think you're right about being active - when I am I often forget to eat! LOL not good I know but somewhere in the middle ground would be good.

Helene -  Your experience at the school sounds awful! I thought my mom was bad with the finishing the plate but often if I sat long enough my dad would let me go! or my mom would give up too.

Here are the links to the restaurants we ate at in DC - wonderful food! At the Majestic I had scallops with Swiss chard which I said when I ordered oh I won't eat that I don't like it but when I actually tasted it ..it was good so I did eat it!! A new food for me who hardly eats any vegetables LOL!!! At Billy Martins I only had an English muffin - everyone else got big breakfasts but I'm never hungry in the morning. http://www.majesticcafe.com/   http://www.martins-tavern.com/ Kind of stumbled on Billy Martin's in Georgetown - our reservation was at  a place down the street - uh no ppl in it BAD sign LOL so we started walking and found Billy's - didn't know 5 Presidents had eaten there until we were done and saw it on a sign in their window! They have booths named after the ones who ate there! The Majestic was in Old Town - very quaint - brick sidewalks, cobblestone streets and nice little shops. We strolled the streets after dinner and walked to the riverfront ( Potomac)after dinner we had a wonderful time!

I WILL STAY OFF THE SCALE TODAY!!! LOL not going to weigh myself for at least 2 days! Cause not only did I have rugelach yesterday.. we got home , I mowed the grass, too tired to cook, ordered pizza! Carb overload. I didn't do bad in the calorie department but the carbs ... Tasted that rugelach after only a glass of skim milk for lunch - just wasn't hungry then i let myself get too hungry and it was soooo goood LOL I couldn't stop at one. I need to learn to eat on a regular basis cause when I don't, I overindulge on the wrong things!

Wow,  go away for a week or so and this post has more than ten more pages of posts!!  Lots of fun and interesting stuff.  Sorry I abandoned CC.  I seem to have more than a few family members and friends who have been diagnosed with life threatening illnesses in the last few weeks.  Depressing for me - I just couldn't watch the calories. Fortunately I was at least able to maintain.  

Very interesting about the Feng Shui effects of clutter.  My one New Year's resolution was to organize something every day.  It was wonderful.  I eventually ran out of things - with the exception of the garage - which I am still working on.  It was great and very motivating to get those drawers etc that I would always look into and promise myself I would clean out looking clear and organized.  I think it does effect my general feelings about myself which helps wanting to look good.

Glad to be back - I will try to keep up this time.

 

HELLO to All!

Welcome to all the new people on the site. I have been super super busy at work. Last Thursday night turned into a 17 hour shift. Crazy. Babies and preterm labor. Little butts trying to come out instead of heads...lol...you name it. 

I am trying to run my hourly jog as much as possible. I fell off the wagon for a day or so. One day I was positively terrible. I overate and had all the goodies I wanted. Tons of Chinese food. You name it, I ate it...the works. I felt really big and bloated the next day. I look back now and realize....it wasn't worth it. It wasn't that fun, the food didn't taste that good, nothing about it was what I thought it was going to be. A food fantasy. The reality did not live up to the dream. But I'm glad I did it because I learned a valuable lesson.

One more shift and I will be on my 8 days off in a row. I have to get more balanced with my spare time. When I am off I love to increase my running and incorporate all kinds of exercise....but looking at my house I realize I need to exercise a bit more with the window washing and dusting. LOL. It is important though. I don't function well when my house is messy. My spirit and mental well being need the tidy enviornment.

Thats it from my corner for now. I'll check in when I can. And once again to all the new partners out there, HELLO AND WELCOME

Hello Everyone!

Just checking in.  Sorry I left you all for a while!  The posts are so interesting, but it is going to take a long time to read them all properly.  

delilahbluebike - so sorry to hear about the family and friend illnesses.  Strange the way these things seem to happen all at once, and it all gets too much...        Congratulations on maintaining!  

I think I hide amongst all my physical clutter, so I don't have to sort out my emotional clutter!  I have been making a bit more of an effort lately though!

Have a good day!

Hello everyone,

I think the discussion on "eating everything on your plate" is very interesting. I have often thought that our generation is experiencing the effects of being raised by depression or post World War parents.

My parents were an interesting study in contrast when it came to food issues. My mom was large and food was everything to her including how to show love. "Are you sure you don't want more? there's plenty!" I still feel obligated to take more as a way of saying I appreciate the hard work and what was done for me. I also, like my mother have problems letting food "go to waste."

My dad on the other hand had this habit of eating very slowly and never eating the last bite of food on his plate. He ALWAYS did this without exception! He was a tall thin man and I used to think it was just his metabolism that made him thin. But I no longer think it was just his metabolism. I think it had more to do with his attitude towards food because he was not an active person. And he actually loved food and he ate everything. He just ate slowly and never ate fast or overate.

When he and Mom married, my dad's mother told my mother that she needed to "fatten him up because he was so skinny". So my mother spent their marriage trying to fatten Dad but Mom was the only one who got fat.

No one ever knew why Dad left one bite of food on his plate or ate so slow until late in his life when I finally ask him. He thought for a minute and then said, "You know when I was a boy we didn't have much. No one ever had to tell us to eat everything because we were always hungry. I remember thinking, "Wouldn't it be nice to have enough food that you could just enjoy the food and yet still have enough left over to leave something on your plate when you finished your meal.? I guess that's what I've been doing all my life."

Evidently after the depression, my father developed this subconscious mindset to neither hurry his meals or eat every bite on his plate because since he had plenty of food, there was no longer a need to. To him eating slow and leaving something had become a celebration of having enough to eat. To eat fast and scarf down everything was only what you did when you were poor.

I have fond memories of Dad offering his final bite to me as a child. It might be a bite of steak or favorite dessert but he would always either give it away with a smile or if no one wanted it, he would just leave it on his plate.

I think of Dad sometimes now when I'm trying to resist temptation. I tell myself, "I'm not really hungry. Food will be here tomorrow. I don't have to eat right now!"

One another note: I'm finally off my plateau. I've been stuck at 199.2 for 9 days straight. This morning I am 198.2

Have a great week,

Beth

"Do I want to have to exercise this off?"  That is a great thought Ohio.  I will have to try to remember that next time I am faced with mediocre cupcakes.

Yesterday I was on the stairclimber watching Oprah who was featuring people who had lost anywhere from 100 to 250 pounds. I'm not a big Oprah fan or anything, but boy was that inspiring. I heard repeatedly two themes we've been discussing the last few threads: (1) There's a huge connect between our attitude about food (as a reward, as a scarcity, as a comfort) and how much of it goes in our mouths.  (2) You have to move. Even if tyou can't do a full hour run or power lift, you can do something. I know you all know this, but sometimes it's ok to point out the obvious.

Welcome back Delilabluebike and LetsGetitStarted, and Welcome newcomers!

yeah, it's really neat watching this group grow!  hi guys  :D

i always used to eat fast & finish all my food, even if it wasn't that good.  i'm still trying to improve on all 3.  i guess they are all just as important as each other.

my family is getting better now, i guess.  that's only because i haven't lost anything lately.  :D  i think they are finally getting used to the new me.  i think they know that i would never turn anorexic, but yet, they do worry about me.  i've seen alot of people on this site that once they lost so much weight, they just wanted to keep losing & losing.  i'd never do that.  LOL

i will still get rid of this gut.  i'll just take my time at it.  if it goes away slow enough, they won't even notice.  :D  i need to stop saving my weight on the scale too.  my daughter likes to check it! 

hang in there everyone & good luck!

 I need to get back on track with protein % have been  lax in getting enough protein and eating tooo many carbs. Haven't lifted for over  a week either just haven't had the time. When it is nice I would rather be outside or on the golf course. But, I do walk when playing golf and have been busy in the yard so I am still exercising. Will get on a better schedule next week when school is over - I WILL : lift 2x a week, walk daily and get my protein daily! LOL

My husband eats very fast - growing up in a household of 10 he had to learn to eat quickly before it was all gone! LOL He is usually done with his first helping and I basically have just started mine. I eat slowly - never really cared about eating - still very picky - and I gained 10 pounds this winter HOW!??? LOL  Growing up I would have given my food away if I would have been allowed! My mother would say there are starving kids in Africa I'd say send them my food LOL The one habit that followed me was dessert - my mother made dessert for every dinner. No wonder I like sweets.

Beth - good for you getting off that plateau!! We are definitely affected by our childhood - whether those eating  habits are good or bad.

ohio - Keep up the fight - it will slowly come off - at least that's what I tell myself. I always have a deficit - enough of one that I should be losing 1 - 1.5 pounds a week - NOT - it took me 4 months to lose 5 now I'm stuck again. It just has to be our age and hormones cause the calorie in vs calorie out thing just isn't quite true. I agree with you though - keep busy and keep your mind off of it.

delilahbluebike - sorry to hear about your family members and friends with the illnesses. Hard to concentrate on healthy eating when you're under that kind of stress - somehow veggies just don't taste good. Will say a prayer for them

frost -sounds like you've been very busy! Enjoy your 8 days off!!

snow - glad your family is better about your weight!

robbie -I've seen a show like that too on Oprah and it is inspiring. I got hooked watching the Biggest Loser - I liked seeing those ppl succeed !

Everyone - have a great day!!

 

Thank you all for your well wishes for my family.  We believe in the power of positive thinking so with the exception of moments we are doing our best for each other.

The ladies on this site are amazing.  I so much appreciate the input and the sharing.

Schaufel: Very interesting stories about how we were brought up eating.  My parents also wanted me to finish everything on my plate.  I was so stubborn I remember that there were times I fell asleep in my plate at the table rather than eat everything. With my own kids I took a friend's suggestion and never put very much on their plates.  If they wanted seconds they got a little more.  It was easy for them to finish everything when they didn't have piles of food.  My sister and her twin brother had an entirely different approach.  They would get in a fight at the table and (after being sure the window behind the table was open) would throw food at each other - but really out the window.  My parents got mad but they didn't have to eat all their food either!!

I don't have as much will power any longer.  I don't eat a lot but I have a very tough time turning away a great piece of strawberry rhubarb pie, or a brownie.  I also seem to have a two day lag.  It can be tough to remember when on the off day I don't eat much of anything and then show a big weight gain the next day.  I am trying to only weigh myself every 4 days or so in the hopes that my weight will seem more consistent.

Well I am off to exercycle - best wishes to all good luck this week.

 

Thanks to everyone for contributing their childhood stories. I think it's very interesting to see how other people grew up, and how we end up so similar even if it's for different reasons! LOL

Food fights! Yes, it's a very American thing. I don't know any other culture where it's done. I guess it comes from the fact food is both cheap and plentiful in the States. My parents would have kept food away from us for a week if we had dared to throw even the tiniest piece at each other... I remember once throwing away a piece of bread that had fallen on the floor while I was in school and I carried the guilt with me for months... I think I never told my Mom. LOL

Beth, I loved your father's story. I'll keep it in mind when I feel compelled to eat that last bite I don't really want: don't look at it as wasting, look at it as a celebration of having enough food...

Ohio, do not despair! You may have exercised too much. Once a sports trainer told me it is quite normal to register an increase in weight on the day following a particularly hard work-out. Your muscles are bruised and full of accumulated lactic acid, so your body flushes them with water to take care of the waste and soothe the bruising. I am quite sure you'll see better numbers in the days to come. Sometimes we are so disgusted with the lack of results we relent on our efforts or even overeat. Hang on tight. The scale WILL go down.

Welcome back delilah,  sorry you were away for such a sad reason.

Bonton, try to work on your sweet tooth! I don't like sweets and desserts, but I am a cheese freak (hey, I am French...), so I know how hard it is to say no to what we like so much... Look at it as a challenge!

I just came back from the US Consulate. They gave me a one year multiple entry visa with a maximum single stay of 6 months, so I can't really complain!!! Before we didn't need a visa, but the maximum stay was 3 months. I found it quite generous... I was the ONLY white face in the whole crowd (and I mean crowd...). Everybody spoke Vietnamese, including the consular employees, so I had to stand at the finger-printing booth to recognize my red passport in the sea of dark green ones, because I was quite sure the lady wouldn't be able to read my name. It never fails. When she picked up my passport, she took a look at my name then just pressed the red cover against the glass!!! LOL

After being finger-printed I had to wait for my number to be called for an "interview". The young man behind the window told me I was his most "exotic" customer in a long time! LOL I just wish the waiting area had been air-conditioned... Today is very sunny and with the press of people, it must have been 100F+ in there...]

Have a great day everyone!

Helene, in Saigon, where the scale was at 180 lbs 6 oz this morning!

Hi Everyone!

This job is feast or famine (no pun intended). Last week I was beyond busy. Tonight is the opposite.

My caloric intake went much better this 3 shifts! Yeah!!! I think that bout with overeating made me realize that most of the food desire is in my head. This feeling of deprivation and false hunger. Thinking if I say no to a sweet with empty calories (my weakness), that I will have given up something that mattered...something that will never be there again. How silly.

 I am bringing my food to work and logging it on my food meter before I get here. That way I know what I have consumed. Amazing how much I can load up on without going over. Take tonight....tossed salad, peas, fresh veggies, fat free yogurt with a few grapes, cherries, one banana and 1 oz of english walnuts all stirred together like a fruit salad..plus 4 oz of broiled salmon. Plus I had one egg with one piece of whole grain toast and cooked oatmeal before I got here.  Not even 1300 calories. Last night I ate more protein. It really makes a difference for me. Bonton. That was good advice you gave me. If I keep my protein intake up I tend to be less hungry. Of course the release of cortisol in the middle of the night is a factor. But I recognize it and save some of my dinner to eat in the night to keep my blood sugar up.

I was from the "finish everything on your plate" family. My mother was obese for many years and somewhere in her late 60's or early 70's she lost it.  Portion control was not even considered in our home. We never had a food fight. Although I never went hungry, food was considered somewhat sacred. My mother was raised during the depression and I know that affected her. Plus she was miserable in her marriage to my father. She stuffed her pain down with food. I don't think it is a coincidence that she lost the weight after their divorce.

I have a tendency to gain weight when I am unhappy. But in a times of immense grief or crisis....I quit eating. My muscles atrophy and I look so sick. Now is the time in my life to lose my weight the right way and keep it off. I am down about 8 pounds since I started in March. And I want the last 12 pounds off more than I want that simple sugar. I want to be strong and lean. I look at that extra food and say "no thanks". I want something more than that. A gift that only I can give me.

Delilah: We all hold you in our thoughts and prayers.

Thank you all for the support you have given me. There is strength in numbers.

i just got back from lunch with hubby.  we went to subway & we each got a full sub & 2 cookies.  2 cookies...  lol  i never get them, but that was the deal.  they were free.

now i gotta log them in & try to fix this day & still get an A.  :D  i'm sure i can fix it.  i've done worse!

i never did end up walking yesterday or today yet, but i plan to.  i got my hair cut though!  i don't even know if i like it yet, but i figured a change would be good after losing all that weight.

it's awesome seeing everyone pulling together & trying to eat better & exercise!

LOL snow - tell you how small my appetite or should I say stomach is - I can only eat a half of a half! I can't eat very much at one time so I have to eat like every 2-4 hours!

Put up a new pic of your haircut! Mine is slowly turning blondish from being out in the sun - ppl ask me if it's a new color i say it's called golf 101

The 1% cottage cheese I eat for lunch almost every day always gives me an A- LOL this site doesn't like the sodium in the cottage cheese but lunch has to be simple for me I just can't be bothered making a salad -and I don't like sandwiches - to take to school. Has to be something I can just throw in my lunch bag! I eat an apple and cottage cheese almost every day LOL

 

Bonton: I also frequently have cottage cheese and apple with a few almonds for lunch. Don't know why, but I find that combo most satisfying. And, I just ignore the cc grade, because it works for me.

snow: I agree with Bonton. Let's see the new haircut. I've been thinking of cutting mine when I get below 130. (And, today I was 130.5, so I may have a cool summer do soon) When I'm feeling round, I don't want short hair because I think I look like a bowling pin.

frost: I like your spin on things, i.e., "I want to be strong and lean" Me, too. It's a good temptation resisting mantra.

Helene: nice job on the scale. Since you're French, how did you learn to speak English so eloquently. Another American thing besides food fights is being monolingual. I wish it weren't so. I mean, I speak Spanish, but not as beautifully as you do English.

delilah: The ladies on this site are amazing, aren't they. I am leaving town again (teaching in New York), and I will be lonely without you all for the weekend.

Have a great weekend,  all.