calling out to women 50+

I'd like to start this thread specifically for women who are 50 or over.

As a 53 year-old woman, myself, I am finding new challenges, unexpected difficulties and wonderful insights on my path to getting to and maintaining my health, weight and body shape.

What seemed to work for me as little as five years ago doesn't work quite the same anymore. My body doesn't seem to respond to what I consider healthy eating habits and good workout schedules as it even in my middle to late 40s'.

SO, I am would to hear from those out there who are finding themselves in situations. OR NOT, maybe you can enlighten the rest of us as to how you keep your shape, or how you're getting into better shape and a healthier overall lifestyle.

Hopefully this will be the start of something wonderful, educational, funny-offer up jokes anecdotes, whatever!

LET'S GET STARTED!

Hello all!

Chris - Welcome to our group. I remember my kids "talking my ear off" -- I miss that sometimes now that they are grown. It doesn't happen as often even though we do have good relationships with all our kids. It's just different now. They are all in their 30's now with kids of their own.

Robbie - I like your new pictures. Did you get your data collection/billing program fixed? I hope so. That sounds like a nightmare!

Ohio - Hope your knee is doing better. I guess when I signed up to CC I started with the new version. But I did not like all the ads.

Ohio and Chris - I found out that if I use Firefox browser, they have an plugin that works great at blocking all those annoying adds. To get Firefox go to http://www.mozilla.com/en-US/

To get the plugin go to https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addo n/6826

Bonton - That's good news about your "new" car getting better gas mileage. I have a Saturn and it gets great mileage which is really fortunate because I drive a LOT in my business.  I thought the quotes you sent were cute. Thanks for sharing.

clharr - I love that Mark Twain quote. My husband and I have used that one many times! It is SO true! I agree with you about dealing with teens. Our three are all grown and married with kids now. (We started our family when we were very young.) But we tried to treat our kids with respect and give them enough room to grow - including allowing them to make mistakes and suffer the consequences without bailing them out. All three had to spread their wings a little but none of them rebelled really bad. I guess because they knew we would not bail them out. Still we got a lot of gray hair during those years. They all turned out fine. There is nothing magic to raising kids. It's a lot of hard work. But with love, patience and time it does pay off. We are at the grandparenting stage now and loving it.

Well, not much new to report from me. I've been "stuck" at 167.2 for 8 days. But my deficit has only been around 500-700 because I haven't had as much time to work out as much. I'm still walking every day but it doesn't burn as many calories since I don't weigh as much as I used to. I'm not really complaining. I just know loosing the last 17 lbs is going to go much slower. But I am wearing a size 12 now. So I am one size away from my goal of a size 10.

I missed my body sculpting class this last weekend because I was sick and working on taxes. I'm looking forward to going this next Saturday. My week is too full with work to make it to the Y during the week this week which is a big disappointment. I hope I can get back soon because it really makes a huge difference in my progress.

~ Beth

Wow, I saw 123.5 today (beginning weight 134.5, goal 120). It is surely temporary, but it gives me hope that I can veer off course then get back on without permanent damage, Unlike Snow, I seem to suffer setbacks after even one cheat day.

Beth: I did--with major assistance from the software company--recover my data, but I had to do without for almost a week, which had a significant impact on my productivity, so I'll be playing catch up now. Sort of like you did after being ill. Ohio: I agree--this--oops, I mean last-- month flew by! Good for you meeting the deadline and having more (earned) confidence! I missed why you had to change your screen name, but a friend by any other name still smells sweet. Bon: Yeah, why do retailers think petite means ancient? That "new" truck with high mileage sounds great. I am driving a 1999 Subaru because it handles well in snow and gets better mileage than the newer versions, but it's going to give out eventually at 150 plus miles. If I can just get Nick through college and Chris employed at a real job first! Speaking of which, Chris, my two sound somewhat like yours. Older son Chris (23) never met a situation he didn't jump first and think later--good side, he works hard and makes millions of friends, bad side, he takes terrible risks, and tells us all about it. We almost lost him a few years back to a drinking episode. His teen years were way too exciting for me. Younger son Nick (21) sounds like your bio-son. He keeps his own counsel, can solve any problem if it's electrical or mechanical, excels at math and physics, but found socializing completely intimidating until college. He never volunteers info on his emotional life. He's settled in with an adorable girl now, but we'll see if it lasts. I've tried to do as Carol advised--treat them like the adults you want them to become, but oh, so much easier said than done! I'm sure the grey hairs came then, but unlike some of my brave friends on this site, I color 'em.

Hope all's well with you all today

Robbie

Robbie WOW way to go  -you have now passed me up in weight loss as I crept back up to 124.6 (was 120.8 at my lowest) but as of today was 124. So now I have to catch you! Congrats! Glad you got your software fixed even if it was a hassle. Yea I'm not like snow either - one cheat day =  a weight gain for me - or sometimes I don't even have to cheat to gain????

I have had no voice since Sunday - at first I thought I just strained it trying to talk over the music at a wedding reception we went to - but now I don't think that's it as I am coughing terribly. Didn't get to sleep till after 2am last night. Tried to call the Dr today for prescription cough syrup but it's Thus and he's closed. Had 2 shots of apricot brandy last night to try to quiet the cough! I just couldn't stand coughing anymore. Does coughing count as exercise?? LOL if so I burned a ton of calories - maybe that's why I'm down 0.6 since Monday

Bon: Since I know you love second opinions, here's mine: Get to  a doctor, woman! (And I hope you feel better!)

bonton:  I didn't last thru the 'almost' having a stepdaughter stage. 

Robbie - Congratulations on the weight loss!!!! That is awesome news.

Bonton - I'm so happy for you to see the scale moving south again, too! That's good news.  My scale finally budged a little too. But I'm only down 2/10's of a pound. I'm hoping that tomorrow will even be better. But we'll see.

I've started doing a lot more nutrition counseling with my clients. I'm using some of the tools on CC to determine their BMI and recommended calorie intake, adjusting for pregnancy of course. I'm shocked at how much difference height and starting weight makes! For example I had a client today whose pre-pregnant weight was 166, she's 5'6" tall. Her maintance calorie count was only 1200 without some exercise! Add the calories for pregnancy and she can have 1500 but still that's not much. And she is "slightly overweight" and not all that short.

I got another client whose starting weight was much higher 191 and she is a bit taller, 5'9". She can have 2500 calories a day and do great on that! What a difference!

It's no wonder you shorter ladies have so much trouble loosing weight without adding a lot of exercise! Anyway, I'm really excited about the responses I've been getting in discussing nutrition with my new clients so far. I really am looking forward to following through with them and seeing what a difference it makes in their pregnancies. I wish someone had done this with me. I think my weight problems began in my pregnancies. I started out skinny but gained about 50 lbs each time. Then I kept eating like I was pregnant. Not a good idea!

Robbie and Bonton - I think it's kind of funny that you both think petite clothes all looks like they are styled for older ladies. I am often finding styles I like only to be disappointed to find out they are petites! At least most petite clothing seems to be designed for people with a waist! My problem is that clothes my size rarely fit in length and before I lost the recent pounds any of the clothes that fit me never had a waist! The only part of me that was ever small was my waist. Now I know that's not typical but it's frustrating when you put on a dress that can fit over your huge hips only to find that it makes you look 50 lbs heavier because the design is one that assumes you have a huge waist to match your huge behind.

But at least I'm down some now and so I am not having near as much problem as I used to in this area. But I still have a terrible time finding clothes long enough for me because of my long legs.

Ohio - Cold? Wow, it's still hot here. Well, not near as hot as it was in August but we are still running the a/c during the day. The evenings drop down into the high 60's or low 70's. But I'm still wearing shorts to go walking in the mornings. Like I said, we have only two seasons here: Summer and January.

Have a nice weekend everyone,

Beth

ohio  You made me feel better about the stepdaughter thing - how you felt was the way I was too. I have reflux and it would get so bad when she came for the weekend and I would be on pins and needles because whatever I said was wrong so I just didn't talk.  My hubby saw it too but "didn't know how to fix it". Anyways, it is better now, at least now I can be around her and not be nervous or have reflux issues. But thanks for letting me know you had a similar experience it made me feel better

Last night I managed to sleep until around 4am ( cough syrup and a shot of brandy LOL) before I started coughing again. Will try the Dr again today and see if I can get some codeine cough syrup. I get laryngitis 1-2x a year every year and it is always followed by this terrible cough. Next Dr appt I will ask if maybe I need to see an ENT. If I clean my basement I get instant laryngitis so I think at least part of it is allergy related - dust and mold. Maybe I'm allergic to ragweed too as that count is high right now. I always get this in the fall.

Tonight we're having our 7 year old and 4 year old  grandkids overnight - it's my stepdaughters birthday so I called and offered to keep the kids overnight so they could go out. My daughter is coming for the weekend too.

No plans for the weekend - it's supposed to be cold so golf is out - I'm a fair weather person! I can't take the cold and just hate the thought of winter. Told my hubby I'll be shivering until next July! Might drag out the scrapbook stuff and try to get my Hawaii pictures finished! They've been sitting all summer waiting to be finished and the trip was in Feb. 2006! LOL

I ate healthier, took a big salad, but had more cheese and scale is up. 

I'm back after the Jewish New Year and up 3 lb :( At least I know why and enjoyed putting it on! Now it is the weekend and more holidays to come. I'm just trying to minimize the damage.

Beth, there is a wonderful article in the NYT health section on pregnancy, dieting, and weight gain http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/10/02/diet ers-gain-more-weight-during-pregnancy/ Seems women who frequently diet (except underweight women) tend to gain more when pregnant. And there seems to be a link between maternal weight gain and obesity in children. Very interesting. Perhaps one day eating a Twinkie while pregnant will be as frowned upon as drinking a glass of wine. Remember the days when pregnant women were encouraged to have a glass of wine to relax? Also, my doctor was very strict with weight gain (no more than 20 lbs) with my first 35 years ago and couldn't care less about gain with my second (30 years ago). Lots has changed, lots has remained the same.

I kind of cringed at the step-daughter talk. I'm afraid that's how my husband feels. My daughter has always been kind of clingy to me, I even felt jealousy between her father & her over my time. She was particularly cold to my DH (not in his face but COLD) and his way to deal with it was to 'stay out of her way'. In other words, they don't say 'hello' and 'goodbye' like normal people. If absolutely necessary, they speak but not much more. I think they both feel the other is the one that should be more magnanimous; I'm stuck in the middle trying to keep everyone happy. It pains me to say that it's much easier when she's not staying at home. We talk more and I don't feel as if I'm walking in a mine field. I hope holidays aren't like that for the rest of my life!

DH's children are much easier, as is my son. My son has a 'get along with everyone attitude' and always has. DH has a forceful personality and told his kids they needed to shut up and be polite when we first started dating and they made negative comments. Sometimes I wish I was more like him. I tell myself that was easier for him because he'd been divorced for years while I had only recently divorced after 25 years. In my heart I think it has more to do with my dislike of confrontation. That worked out well, didn't it?

Chris - I can sympathize with your situation. How old is your daughter? My stepdaughter is 29 soon to be 30 and it has only been the last year or so that she is somewhat better with me. So maybe as your daughter gets older it will improve. I keep telling myself not to take it personal and also not to stoop to her level - try to be the bigger person - but I have to admit I don't go overboard making an effort any more like I used to. I try to just accept what it is. She isn't very good about keeping in touch with her father either - so I feel sorry for my husband. I used to think that was my fault but I think that is just the way she is.

My kids accepted my hubby from day 1 but I would have been like your DH and simply told them to stop had they made negative comments but that's the kind of relationship my daughters and I have.  My hubby on the other hand - did not speak up - maybe in fear of losing them? he said he didn't know what to do to fix it?? - it really helped me to know that at least he saw what they did even if he didn't speak up. I just came to accept that he wasn't going to speak up. And as his daughters have gotten older it has improved - we've been married 9 years. We've finally reached  the point where I don't dread the holidays but I hear you and definitely sympathize. I really dislike confrontation too.

She's 21. I actually think things would be more relaxed if he just spoke to her as if she was anyone else ...and of course visa versa! I can't really blame him though. I know there have been some missed opportunities because she speaks very softly, like me, and he simply hasn't heard her and thought that she'd ignored his attempts and sometimes missed hers. It's weird because he's a minister and can talk with anyone -- except her, it seems.  Maybe one fine day it will all fall together...I hope so.

Glad it's going a little better for you. At least they grow up so the day to day stuff get easier, eh?

Beth, I am confused by your post about the 5' 6" pregnant woman who weighs 166. You said her pre-pregnant sedentary maintanance is 1200. I assume she's much younger than me (being pregnant lol) and I'm an inch shorter and 30 pounds lighter. My maintenance is 1600/day according to cc. (The Phord calculator actually seems more accurate for me @ ~1500.) I generally lose 1 lb a week if I stay between 12-1300/day. Is her height wrong on the post? Something doesn't add up.

I agree Chris.  No way maintenance for a 5'6" woman is 1200.  I lose weight on 1500 and I am 5'5".  The Phord calculator gives much clearer output.  I also prefer it.  It is at www.phord.com/cc  Try using it instead.

Chris and clharr - Well I obviously entered something wrong. I can't get the same results now. But I also need to double check her stats. Later today, I go to my office, I'll look those up and try again. She is younger. I think I have the weight right but I could be off on the height. But it looks like I may have accidently entered something wrong into the calculator in the first place. If so, things make a lot more sense now. Thanks for catching that!

Phox - Thanks for the article. I'm going to go read it now.

clharr- I'm also going to check out that other link you sent. Thanks!

Hey everyone, I discovered there is more than one way to get a better number on your scale... Buy a new scale!

Old scale's weight this morning was 167.0

New scale's weight this morning was 165.4!

Every scale I compared my old scale to always showed me weighing less. I'd had the old one for many years and it was looking pretty shabby too. So I bought a new one.

I know it's not at real loss but my goal is still realistic. So I'm really just closer to my goal than I thought I was.  So that makes me VERY happy.

From now on, I will use the new scale.

Have a nice weekend,

~ Beth

Chris - Trust me - Things will get better as she gets older.

ohio - go figure - sometimes it's the same for me - eat right and gain weight - eat what I think is too much and lose weight. Sometimes it just doesn't make sense.

phox- My Dr was strict about wt gain when I was pregnant too. My starting wt before pregnancy was 107. One month I gained 4.75 pounds and he went nuts telling me to watch that my frame couldn't carry that kind of monthly weight gain. Little did we know at that time(no sonograms back then) that I was carrying twins and then my x-ray at 38 weeks pregnant showed twins which he promptly put me on bedrest to gain weight!!! In all I only gained 31 pounds. So all that "watching" went out the window only to have to try to gain at which time I was soooo huge that I wasn't the least bit hungry!

robbie My Dr was in today - they are calling something in for me. I still have no voice and am still coughing. I feel better but it gets exhausting trying to talk at work and then there's the night time cough. At least the cough syrup won't have the calories that the apricot brandy does! That's what I've been drinking to help quiet the cough! LOL I'm envious - how are you getting your scale to cooperate???? I did drop a little but certainly not back to where I was in August - that will take a loss of another 3.2 pounds. Why is it so easy to gain weight????

Beth, I think I'm on my way to the store now...I could use some good news! Unfortunately, I'm just kidding because my scale is less than a year old. Darn it!

Carol - The phord.com site tells me to eat 1105 to lose 0.97 a week. I am eating between 1200 and 1300 and really not losing much if any even with exercise.   Maybe I need to cut back to 1105 to lose but then I am under the recommended 1200 cal a day??

bonton, what does phord give as your bmr? I think it gives a couple of options but doesn't generally recommend less than your bmr. If you'll lose .97/wk at 1105 then you should lose 1/2 lb a week at 1340. (.97x3500=3395 wk deficit for .97 lb; .5x3500=1750 def. for .5lb; difference 3395-1750=1645/7 day=235 more cals/day to lose .5)

You may just be so close to a good weight that to do it in a healthy way, you have to take it painfully slowly. Not much room for messing up either, of course.

WOW, you guys are chatting up a storm today. I won't try to catch up, but here's a few thoughts. First, being shorter makes it harder to lose quickly because your calorie allotment is already low, and as Bonnie notes, you shouldn't go below 1200 because your body goes into starvation mode. So I am trying hard to be patient. Today, for instance, scale shows 124.5 (up 1 pound) but experience assures me that the trend is down, so I just have to keep myself from eating more because of the "what's the use" mentality.

Second, I think calorie counting is important, as is BMR, but I also think body fat makes a big difference. If I am losing or staying low in body fat percentage, I calm down about the weight number.  Remember what Alice said (and where did she go?) strong and lean, strong and lean!

Bonnie, at 5'1" and 124, you are squarely in the healthy BMI range. Hope that the meds help you feel better. Phox: Belated Good Yontif. I had my oldest 23 years ago and they were so NOT strict, I gained way more than I needed to (about 40 pounds). After I saw how hard that was to lose (I was 32, not that young), I used moderation for son number two! Beth: You have been a real example of willpower and have the results to show for it. I'm happy for you. As for the small waist, I've never had that. In fact, techniquely I'm not really petite if that means small boobs and butt. I'm just a short version of a Botticelli model. Chris, having never had to deal with step kids, I can't say I know what you're going through, but I do know that trying to make others happy never works. You would be wise to continue to stay out of the middle and let them find theitr own way, which they eventually will. 21 is just so young to expect self insight, even for a girl! Ohio: Hey, forget  the three tasks and comfort at work; you need to get the weight off before all those Halloween goodies show up to "haunt" you.

I have most of my data back after wasting all day on the phone again yesterday. Sigh. Happy weekend, all.